Since I've had this bronchitis and pneumonia, I've been well able to endure being home--which is a change from my bout with the same stuff last year.  Reading, blogging, just being with the kids and coming up with creative ways to homeschool [which wasn't possible this week since everyone was sick] have all filled up my time. 

The inability to breathe normally has also forced me to just not think about a few things. Odd, since a quiet time usually has the opposite effect. That's partly because of a few things coming up that are, well, stressful. As a matter of fact, I've put off thinking about a lot of things until this very moment.

The cancer doctor's office back called recently. [ read here  and here] I'm going to a "baseline" appointment but the nurse was far from reassuring. "WIth your family history of both grandmothers and your Mom, you need to get in here pronto. "  I agree. But I still didn't want to hear it.

So, at the end of this month I see the doctor who will see if anything has changed from the test I had two months ago. If it has, says the voice on the other end of the phone, "you'll need to have that removed."  

Whatever God's will is in this situation is fine. I could launch into some deep treatise on His character, but it boils down to simply this:  He's never played false with me. I've no reason NOT to believe that He doesn't love me, that He's not caring for me, that some good will come of this.

The good from having lung trouble at the same time? Well, now that I think about it, I guess that it is simply a lesson to slow down a bit and take these things one at a time to God. Instead of becoming overwhelmed or depressed, the thing to do is to pray on each of these things as they come. When I'm so tired and can't breathe physically, it would be so easy to tire out and not breathe SPIRITUALLY, too.

Had I been able to go here and there,  be involved with all things the things I usually am, I'm sure that I would have just crowded stuff into the places of my mind and soul that instead needed peace--HIS peace.

That has happened in these two weeks.  I've read my Bible more. I've studied more. I've listened more.  Even though I know His grace doesn't depend on my works, often I find myself in the "give" mode--which is actually "do".  Sometimes I take the book of James and forget about the Psalms. The only thing I really haven't done enough of is pray. How can anyone ever pray enough?

Thanks, friends, for support and prayers. Thanks, God, for making me slow down.