We have been to M.D. Anderson, one--if not the--very best cancer hopsital in America. They have not been able to determine what kind of cancer my mother-in-law has, either. It has spread to some other lymph nodes, but still no primary tumor has been located. Thank God it hasn't spread to any other organs yet. 

The trip was eventful, stressful, and unsuccessful. She'll be starting chemo Wednesday and will probably be getting a "port" put in a little later.  She has opted to go back to the hopsital that she pushed so hard to get away from in the first place. She also has indicated that she's not sure she'll want to carry through with chemo. She's promised to take a treatment and see how it goes--what that means exactly, I'm not sure.

However, we have stuck through this with her and my father-in-law for the last two months. My sister-in-law will be taking over the role of "go-between" with the doctors. This was part of the game plan all along--getting through the diagnosis stage and explaining the whys and hows was my job. Assisting during chemotherapy is something that the others all chose to help with. This way, I can get back to the job the Lord has called me to---teaching my children at home.

While we were in Houston, I received a call that a cousin with leukemia was near death. He was in ICU on a ventilator and his heart, lungs, and kidneys were shutting down.  I received another call about a friend who has gotten into some kind of legal trouble.   My husband received a call while we were in Texas that a dear friend of his at work had died. He was just 42.

When all this trouble, pain, and heartache sets in, no one could blame me if I decided to put my kids in school. Homeschooling is just too tough right now, it's too heavy a demand on me are some of the comforting words I'm sure I'd hear.  And I have entertained thoughts of "What about Christian school?"

I've been asked often, "How do you do it?" The simple answer is that I can't homeschool [or do anything else] by myself. I and my family are having to lean very heavily on Jesus in these tough times. I could eat myself up with worry that my children will fall behind, that their education will suffer as a result of Shelby's cancer and my level of involvement in her care, or that I need to be with my other family right now, or that I need a break, etc.

I have to step back and put it all into perspective. Tough times likes these call for "one thing" thinking like the Apostle Paul did. [Philippians 3; 13-14]  I have to press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. It means some things I have to leave behind [unfortunately laundry isn't one of those things, but i'm sure tempted], and others I look ahead to.

First, I have to take stock of what I know to be true.

1. Jesus loves me. Galatians 2:20 says:  I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the Life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the of the Son of God, WHO LOVED ME , AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR ME."

2.  Jesus gives me strength when I am weak. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "And he said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."   What a thought! These trials allow the power of Christ to "rest upon me"!

3. Jesus called us to homeschool, and he will help us through the tough times. Philippians 1:6 "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"

4. I have to have faith in Jesus. Hebrews 11:6--"But without faith it is impossible to please him" and Hebrews 10: 35, "Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward."  I may not be able to anser the big "whys" and "why nots", but I hang on to what--and most importantly WHO-- I know is true. I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loves me and gave Himself for me.

What are some Scriptures that have gotten you through the rough spots? I'd love to know!