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"The other night I took a walk down into the slums of my heart. I do not go there often because of the high crime rate and the rise of and pride gangs. A few thugs named Jealousy and Bitterness slipped down into parts of the slums I could not enter without feeling the effects of looking too deeply. There was scum everywhere and the stench of rotting, unspoken sins filled the air. How had it gotten this bad? I was overwhelmed with the slanderous air that left a flithy scum over everything, and I saw a named slip into a small dark door. She was dressed in treacherous clothing of seduction. Her perfume was a fragrance I tried to not recognize but I could not help it. The stench of perversion. I dared not look in to see what other persons waited there. A dirty looking man homeless man lay on the ground as if asleep, but he was very much awake, looking to see who was watching him. His name was Pride and in his desire to have others look at him, he had not seemed to see the terrible effects upon his body. Infected sores of self-righteousness plauged his legs and lower arms. Maggots of vanity were crawling around in raw flesh. He was a disgusting sight...I would not look at him any longer. I could not take it anymore--being there any longer was unbearable. I started running as fast as I could out of that terrible, morbid place--I had to get out of there! In my haste I tripped over a rusty can of hindrance that had been left on the sidewalk. Falling I scraped my knee and stained my khaki pants with the sewage of a nearby sewer system. People were lined up in a near-by alley way all of them carrying some sort of baggage. They had watched the whole scenario. I could make out some of the things they were holding. One woman clutched tightly to a wailing baby named Fear in her arms. Another man was helping Bitterness, who had by this time shot himself in the foot, with the very weapon he intended to hurt another with. A young boy of about seven held a suitcase with the words and Predjudice on the side. Their eyes met mine. I knew where they were all going: to the center of the slum where a house had been erected in their honor. They had lived there many years and would stay there...until I had the courage to tell them to leave...but I could not in my own strength. I got up and continued to run until I reached the suburbs. I caught my breath and settled into a slow walk. This was the part of my heart I did not mind sharing with others. It was an inviting place, thanks to all the work the Lord had done there. Beautiful manicured lawns, adorable little houses, and my neighbor's children Faith and Hope playing on the sidewalk. There was even a beautiful house I had built in the hopes that my Savior would live there. By no means did I want HIM to ever enter the slums. Sometimes people from that nauseating part of town would try to come up into the suburbs and people would see a piece of the slums of my heart. However, for the most part I tried to keep that area of my life hidden. I would only show the most beautiful areas of my heart to those who asked me to tell about myself. 'Look at my beautiful garden filled with the fruits of the Spirit. In the center is the fountain of love,' I would tell them. Or, 'You must come see the library of memory verses! There's no place like it.' But to take them to the slums...what would people say if they really knew who I was? I could hardly bear it myself. I never expected HIM to ask me to take a walk with him down there one day. "O no Lord!! Anywhere else is fine--how about a walk on the Prayer boardwalk? or the church down the road? We could go eat at The Daily Bread...? I looked at His eyes and gave in reluctantly. I had known He known all along, but I didn't want to face Him with the grim reality that lived in the slums of my heart. We walked down...it was one of the hardest walks of my life. I felt sick because I didn't know what I would tell Him once he saw the condition of things. He could not know how bad it had gotten...I was sure he would leave and give up on me once he saw the downtown area. I couldn't blame him... He had done so much work in my heart already, I had surrendered many things and he had transformed a truly filthy area into something beautiful. This was the only reason the suburbs existed. But, I was sure nothing could be done to repair the slums...this was beyond hope, beyond fixing. I looked up...we had arrived. I wanted to meet His eyes but I could not. What was He thinking? What would He say? Then his hand lifted my head and His eyes met mine. I was overwhelmed with the deep love and pain I saw. His next words gripped me: "I gave my life so you could be set free from the slums. You do not have to hide the deepest parts of yourself from me. I already know the condition of the slums of your heart. Yet I love you just as you are. Confess and I will be faithful to forgive you and it will be just as if you have never sinned. All your addictions and sins, you cannot overcome them in your own power. Through my power in you, I will enable you to rise as a victor over this area of your heart. But are you willing to surrender this part of your heart to me?" It would not be easy. I knew some people would be harder to evict than others...but with the help of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the slums of my heart would be transformed. They are being transformed even now, but only because I now take the time to walk down into the filthy areas of my life with my Lord. My question to you is what is in the slums of your heart? And if you know, then my next question is are you willing to be honest and vulnerable enough to let the Lord walk through them with you? You will never be changed if you live life behind a mask...be honest with the one who knows you and loves you for who you are right now. Let his mighty power transform your life." Written by: Sarah Payne "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' For out of the heart come evil thoughts, , ery, immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." Matthew 15:17-19 |
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