Jan. 14, 2008 - An update, an apology, a lesson learned and some musings
No, it is NOT a bad joke, like "there's a priest, a rabbi and a Methodist minister........". Just some blog 'housekeeping issues' to deal with.
But first, an update. MY father is still fine, at least as of the last time I spoke with him or anyone else in my family. Thanks for the prayers and the comments. God is truly good, may HIS name be praised forever.
The update is regarding my husband's father, who passed from this earth's existence Friday, January 10, 2008. WAY too much drama to comment on here.....and.....after reading my apology and some things I've learned from THAT experience.....you will understand why I will not discuss the goings on of the weekend. My mother always taught me "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".....PHEW. Hard words. But necessary. And words that need to be heeded.
Suffice it to say my husband's father is home with the Lord. My husband has peace about that regardless of the .....type of family he comes from.....and it is basically all over. 'Nuff said.
On to part 2. The apology.
In November I posted some thoughts I had regarding participating with The Indiana Youth Ballet in their children's production of "The Nutcracker".
It has been brought to my attention that some of the things I casually said in discussing our involvement in aforementioned production might have cast the company, the production and/or the owner and/or the entire experience in a negative light.
THAT IS NOT THE CASE. IT IS NOT A TRUE STATEMENT. Both small son and I were more than pleased with our participation and the resulting personal growth we experienced having been involved with the production. I have re-read and re-read what I wrote, looking for negativity, intended or otherwise. I do not see it.....however, what I have learned I will share later.
I want to go on record and on bytes in cyberspace as stating "I believe that any homeschooling parent should involve their child at least once in this type of community experience, whether it be with the Indiana Youth Ballet or any other community theatre, dance or performing group. The experience itself teaches much. It teaches self discipline. It teaches team work. It teaches community involvement. It teaches digging down and doing things that perhaps someone might not be used to doing, but that there is reward in perserverance. ALL sterling qualities and qualitites that I, as a home schooling parent, want my child to experience in order to 'round out' his learning and I would highly recommend the Indiana Youth Ballet as the place to have that experience ".
Was it a perfect experience?? No. Was it always enjoyable? No. But is anything? No. Can any experience, enjoyed by more than one person, have the same outcome or can any two people agree on how something turned out?? Just ask those who work in the legal field or law enforcement. (Of which I am qualified to comment, as that was my 'career' for many years). Did the perpertrator who ran off have a blue or red shirt on? Was the car white or grey? Was he tall or short? Have hair or not?? For every witness you have that comes forward, there will be a slightly different rendetion of 'who saw what'. Does that mean NONE of their experiences are worth 'noting' or that they were not valid? No. JUST DIFFERENT. That is why there are so many investigators and why they are so busy.
All in all, if anyone had cared to ASK me what my experience was like with the Indiana Youth Ballet, I would have told them it was overall a very POSITIVE experience. I would recommend it to anyone with children. To participate, to attend, to help. Good people, good times, overall good experience.
Apology complete. Or explained. at least.
NOW on to what I've learned.
I have learned MANY things from this ENTIRE experience.
I have learned that these words I type that go out into cyberspace CAN make an impact and CAN make a difference....now and even months, yea, YEARS later, Google being what it is, after all. I also KNOW that this is a "public forum", therefore anyone can access what I say.....I have NEVER attempted to hide who I am, what I write....or more importantly......HOW TO CONTACT ME DIRECTLY if something I type is offensive. I ENCOURAGE feedback, in fact, it was my plea for assistance THRU this blogging community that 'got me into trouble', so to speak.
The last time I checked, this was still America. We still have that wonderful document, the constitution, from which spring MANY rights. One of them being 'ree speech. Another free press. I learned these things at University of Michigan. Pre-law classes. Law library.
Something I know. That if I am going to write a journal for all to see, that I need to be prepared to take any criticism or negativity about what I say.....I need to understand that MY way is not the only way to 'see' or do things.....and that the feelings and events I write about are MY thoughts and MY thoughts only. This principal is not only true in the blogosphere, in any other endeavor in life.
I also know that as a Christian, which I proclaim to be without excuse, I need to be very careful with my words, so as not to offend, FOR THE SAKE OF MY LORD. In this case, I am extremely sorry. I do not ever want to reflect negativity for the sake of the one who saved my soul. I would want others to see anything that I do or say, as inviting....so that if they did not share my belief, they would at least be curious as to what makes me that way, at most they would ASK, "just what is it about you that makes you different?" I do not ever want the reaction "oh, well, if THAT'S what a Christian is like, I don't want anything to do with it". It is for THIS REASON I pen this apology.
I also believe very strongly in living my life with my priorities lined up correctly. I am human, and just like everyone else, I fail in that respect sometimes too.
So, when this situation reared it's head, I consulted my 'head'. I shared everything with my husband. Asked him what he thought I should do. I was reminded of another person in this blogging community who was led to erase all her blogs, as inspiring as they were, due to what some construed as 'negative' thoughts that were penned by her. I thought to myself "oh, my, gosh....is that what I should do too?"
I asked my husband, "should I never blog again?" Is God punishing me for something? Am I being a bad witness? Is this something I should not be doing?
He assured me that having a blog is not evil. He read what I wrote. He assured me, as did a close friend of mine, that what I said MIGHT have been construed as negative and that I just needed to 'watch' my sarcasm.....I learned A LONG TIME AGO that sarcasm does NOT come thru well in cyberspace.....so, for that I am indeed chagrined, chastised and rebuked and will very much try to contain the type of .....wit I convey in cyberspace. It's really just not the same as.......seeing someone's face when they're saying something.
He also reaffirmed that anyone who does anything that is in the public pervue.....a blog, a business, a roadside stand, for Pete's sake, needs to have thick skin. I need to take what one person thinks, review it, consider it and then.....let it roll off my back. As do many others. If they do not, it can be crippling.
I will take out certain 'references' so anything 'negative' cannot be googled. I will LEAVE the references in this apology, so there is no misunderstanding about our experience. And I will be more watchful of using names, as should all of you out there in the blogosphere. Not for yourselves, but if you claim the name of Christ, for HIS sake.
I remain, (only b/c of the wisdom of my husband)
Denise aka The Domestic Angel
