Jun. 17, 2009 - What about socialization?
On Saturday I attended the UHEA Home School Convention. One of the classes I attended was given by a home schooling pediatrician (not currently practicing). I thought that her perspective as a pediatrician was a little different and she addressed some areas I had not considered. I will do my best to hit on some of those points from my notes, in my own words. Hopefully I don't butcher it.
First of all, consider how you would define socialization. It seems there is a spectrum of ideas here.
From Answers.com :
Quote:
"The process whereby a child learns to get along with and to behave similarly to other people in the group, largely through imitation as well as group pressure."
Is this what you really want? What I find most people mean is this:
The ability to interact with others and understand the cultural expectations in society.
I'm afraid some people mean:
To be thought of as cool.
The lady teaching the class suggested a pyramid whereby one establishes proper socialization. See if you agree with it. At the bottom of the pyramid would be beginning to establish a personal identity. The next level would be to learn the norms, cultures and behaviors of one's own family. Followed by learning the norms, cultures and behaviors of others. When we've completed these steps we begin to modify our own identity based on our experiences. We begin to express our own beliefs and finally, when we are confident in them we begin to challenge society. We may revisit some of these steps as our personal identity will evolve with experience.
Keeping this pyramid in mind here are some point to ponder:
-Would someone who requires same age peers to understand who they are be well socialized or poorly socialized?
-If one has a solid sense of self, they are more likely to accept others, not feel threatened by views which oppose theirs, and be able to avoid mistrust and suspicion of differences. Therefore, developing a solid sense of self is likely the most important factor in being well socialized.
-The educational version of socialization is manipulative. You are taught to conform to rules which benefit school structure rather than real world situations, and are discouraged from challenging authority.
-Schools lack moral reasoning.
-Schools do not tolerate diversity. I'm not talking about racial diversity, but personal diversity. Conformity is the rule.
She also mentioned the Harvard Ethics program. Isn't Harvard supposed to be the cream of the crop of traditionally schooled kids? So when they noticed that their graduates were so frequently involved in scandal and instituted this program, what does that say about the lack of moral reasoning in our public schools? Is a person with a lack of moral reasoning well socialized?
-Home schools allow for less misbehavior (more supervision) while a child is developing their sense of self.
-Schools tend to usurp parental authority, offering a second set of rules by which to abide.
-The hierarchy of a family unit is more indicative of real life scenarios, rather than arbitrary reasoning. How many of your employers segregate departments by age?
-Uneven distribution of resources in traditional schools leads to abnormal group dynamics. When she came to this point she asked those of use who were traditionally schooled to think back to kindergarten and the box of scissors. There were never enough scissors for each child, and we were encouraged to take turns. Some of us got stuck with the lefty scissors that didn't work well, some of us had to wait. The louder, pushier kids got theirs first and weren't likely to turn them over until their tedious work was just right. Because of time limitations, those children with better access to resources were encouraged. They had more time to complete their work, their work was usually better as a result. We learned that the way to succeed was to be pushy, loud and selfish. In a home school environment, the mother is supervising the sharing. Even if resources were imbalanced, the mother would know and would be able to adjust accordingly. Siblings can learn to be less selfish without negative consequences.
-The family is a group environment where children can learn give and take. It is safe and non judgmental. There is a spectrum of personalities and personality flaws. In the family unit, children can learn to work on personal flaws without carrying the baggage of a label. Public schools are very good at segregating by labels, and labels are not easily changed. Some adults still carry this baggage. Home schoolers can refine themselves in a positive atmosphere while developing their sense of self.
-In your life, do you only interact with same aged peers? Home schoolers are more likely to interact with a variety of age groups and learn to speak comfortably with people of all ages. Which is better socialized?
-Home schoolers tend to involve themselves in groups by interest outside the home. They more naturally segregate by interests, rather than age or gender. How many people, like me, who were public schooled found that most of their friends from school grew apart from them as they aged? Like me, did you find that many of your high school friends didn't have much in common with you as you got older? Home schooled kids are more likely to retain long term friendships, because they are based on common interest.
-Home schooled kids can learn to make good choices by being present for the choices made by their parents. They are more likely to be there watching mother balance the budget, weigh the pros and cons of everyday decisions, watch how things are done. Most public schooled children have parents that do their errands while the child is at school. They are less likely to learn how to manage money, a household, prioritize, etc.
-Parents who teach their children at home have the control to decide when their children are mature enough to handle certain milestones which in a public school are decided arbitrarily.
-Home schooled children are less likely to be emotionally needy as they get more parental interaction from a parent that doesn't carry guilt about not spending enough time with their child. They are less likely to be spoiled with things from guilty parents. They are more likely to learn a good work ethic, because the parents don't carry the guilt of having a child spread too thin.
-Home schooled children learn to work through problems with their siblings. Being together, working together in a group dynamic and sharing common goals are more likely to take place in a home school environment.
-John Wesley Taylor authored a wide study comparing home schooled children to public schooled children and measured their self concept - a primary indicator of how one will function socially. Do you know anyone with a poor self concept who you'd consider well socialized? The result speak for themselves:
http://www.moorefoundation.com/article.php?id=54
I know my wording is not nearly as impressive as that of the teacher. This was an excellent info-packed presentation. There are so many benefits of homeschooling, with few cons. Hopefully after pondering on these points you will agree with me that home schooled children tend to be better socialized than their traditionally schooled counterparts, and at the very least, they certainly do not suffer from poor socialization.
