Feb. 19, 2009
Nectarine Trees and then some
Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I think it's safe to say that spring is here since it has been quite warm for the past couple of weeks. Even the nectarine trees that we recently planted in the front yard have blossomed and filled out with bright green leaves. While these trees aren't officially planted in honor of Christian, I just can't help but smile when I look at them.
This past summer, Christian decided that he absolutely loved nectarines. I would have to sternly tell him No, you can't have another one-- you've already eaten 4 today!!! Yup, he probably would've eaten ten if I had let him. Do you know what that could do to the... umm.. bowels of a 3yo? A 3yo wearing big boy Red Power Ranger underwear?! Yah, not exactly pleasant if he's distracted on timing or something. ;-)
*sigh* I think about Christian all the time. Everything reminds me of him. I just miss him, y'all. I hope you don't get tired or depressed from hearing about him, but talking about him just makes me happy-- even if I cry at the same time.

(I know this isn't a nectarine, but he also starting having a major crush on pineapples too!)
Okay, back to nectarines! I really don't believe that Christian loved nectarines solely for their juicy, sweet flavor. He loved them "fo' da big giant seeds mommy! Wooook!" Then he'd proudly hold up the large, sticky seed for me to examine and laugh his little head off at how amazing a discovery he held in his hand. He did this every single time. I just love how simple (and silly) boys can be-- give them some dirt, rocks, shovel, waterhose and anything unusually large (or small) and they are entertained for hours on end!
I hope the trees survive my lack of a green thumb. And wouldn't it be a blessing to actually have fruit on that tree? But if for some reason it shrivels up and turns a crispy brown before I get even one plump nectarine, it's okay. It's just a tree.
If our life doesn't turn out exactly like we expect this side of Heaven, it's okay. There is more to real life than the here and now.
Sunshine and rain and life and death, they are not in our hands-- those things are in the hands of GOD! We are simply the creation and He is the Creator... a Creator with a plan, a perfect plan. A tree might lose its leaves in the winter but that doesn't mean it is dead or broken. God planned that in the glorious spring that same tree would bring forth blooms that are fragrant and beautiful; and in the summer, be full of delectable fruit. This life is not all that there is-- after the here and now comes real life, the life that truly matters-- eternity!
I am determined to make the most of this here and now, this side of Heaven.. to soak up the Sonshine (sorry, couldn't resist that one- hehehe) and use this trial to grow. It sure hurts at times but I know that in the end it will be worth it. Actually the more I pray and seek God, He is so good to give me comfort and blessings (and grace and love) right now-- without having to wait for eternity.
Whatever trials and worries you have in your life, lay them at God's feet. He wants to carry your burden for you. He wants you to know Him and to know His Son Jesus Christ personally! Won't you let Him bring light to your winter? You don't have to walk alone.
Comments
Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by chickadee@afamiliarpath
marsha i can't imagine you not missing him every day, every minute. and to be honest, i can't even know how you can sound so joyful in many of your posts. i even ask god about it all the time, especially when i pray for you. but i've always wondered how anyone would survive such a great loss. i've heard people talk about how god gets them through it but i've never experienced it myself (and selfishly hope i never have to).
and my heart still aches for you and that reminds me to pray for you.
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CoCo
I love hearing/reading about Christian, especially from you. I love being reminded that you still have joy in your life, even after such a great loss. This post couldn't have come at a better time. For the first time in a long time I made the kids go to bed without laying down with each of them for a few minutes, ok... more like half an hour a piece. I wanted just a few minutes to read some articles in a magazine and have a few minutes to myself. After they fell asleep I went to bed but couldn't sleep. I felt guilty that I didn't lay down with them even after they asked me to. Then I couldn't sleep because my house is full of noisy sleepers. That got my mind going and I started to think about Christian. My chest felt heavy and I was almost in a panic. I came out to my computer, typed in www.bible.com and looked up verses about hope, faith, prayer and mercy. For some reason I just needed to. After reading several verses and praying, I went to my blog and saw on my sidebar that you had updated your blog. Of course the pictures of Christian and the things you said about him brought tears and a big smile to my face. I love you Marshy and many times wish I could just throw my arms around you and give you a big ol' hug. For you, but also for myself. You're truly the best sister in the whole world and I miss you terribly.
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Annemarie
Get tired of hearing about Christian? Never! In fact, when I see a post about him, it makes me smile! And, it makes me super excited about heaven. And it makes me rest in the fact that any trials that I am currently undergoing are worth it. And, it makes me cry...but just a little because boy oh boy is he way better off than us! It makes me long for the day when I will be in heaven. And it makes me pray for you all the more.
See? Posts about Christian are a blessing every which way you look at it. :-)
Andrew is the same way about oranges. I think that his record is like 10 in one day. That was when Grammie was here. Cuz you know that Grammies have a really hard time sayin' NO.
Love you!
~Annemarie
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Jimmie
The buds are lovely! We found tadpoles! Another sign of spring. I also ate a delicious pineapple last week. Thank God for spring -- there is always hope. I know you miss C. It's got to hurt so bad. Lifting you to His comforting arms now.
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by homeskoolmom
Sweetheart, I would worry if you didn't think about Christian all the time...
Love you
Christine
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Feb. 19, 2009 - :)
Posted by Angie
I love it when you talk about Christian, don't stop :)
Your posts have really been an encouragement to me. You always have something uplifting to say, even when you must be hurting.
I hope you see lots of Sonshine today, and many necterines in the future :) I love them too.
Angie
http://nannadays.blogspot.com
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Marsha - I think of Christian so often...and I cry a little - sometimes alot...and then I think of the Love of God...and I'm so glad that even though I DO NOT UNDERSTAND the Lord's ways in this situation.....and in so many others because I'm not supposed to...I feel joyful knowing you guys will see that little "blonde haired Korean", as you called him once, again when the time is right. Please know I love hearing about your boys and am so glad you share your heart here...you bless so many of us.....just want you to know you are loved and cared about Miss Sunshine!
Spring is here and the bulbs I bought in the Fall are still in bags on my counter....I think it's too late to plant them...aw man! Oh well - there's always next year!
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Feb. 19, 2009 - yeah - that was me....
Posted by Donna Mc
I'm the bulb abuser....I'll try to plant them soon!
Donna
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Uplifting..
Posted by mom244now
..your post is not depressing, for me it's the total opposite, very very uplifting and encouraging. I love reading what you have to say because your speaking from the heart. Anyone can write about God's goodness, but only someone who is in the midst of the fire and convince another that God is good ALL the time. I strongly encourage you to prayerfully consider writing a book geared towards other families that have lost a child. God has given you amazing strength, like no one I've ever seen. He is doing mighty things thru you. I love hearing about your dear sweet Christian, please continue to write about him. Keep him alive in our hearts!
As I read your posts I feel like God shows me vividly that we truly can do all things thru Him who strengthens us. You are living proof!
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Tears for you Marsha. You talk about your baby every day if you have to. I will not get tired of hearing the stories about his sweet person. Blessings and grace to you friend as you miss your baby this moment. Love you-
Susan
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by HappyApple
Beautiful post!
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Thank you for this entry!
Posted by tn3jcarter
I have really been struggling with my health lately and this just really spoke to me. I know that I picture my life glorifying God more if I'm healthy and strong, but yet HE is the Creator and I'm just the creation. He has chosen this path for me for this season (please just let it be a season) and He has a reason and I'm gonna learn how to humble myself and glorify Him in it.
Thank you for continuing to share Christian stories and memories with us. Oh I loved him too and always felt so connected through our 3 bloggy boys. In my own goofy way, I miss him too.
My youngest is now 7 1/2 and starting to go through that big boy changeover. Sitting more with dad than me. Ouch. Every time I see a picture of Christian is makes me want to run to him and smell his hair and listen to a wild action-packed little story.Thank you for such good reminders.
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Thanks Marsha!
Posted by Anonymous
Thank you for this post. I enjoy all your posts, but especially the ones about Christian! It's so nice to get to know this little man who I never got to know on this earth. I look forward to the day I get to meet up with him in heaven and can't imagine how wonderful it will be to meet up with all the people that have touched our lives through the years. Your posts also help me to remember to love all the little annoying things my boys do. Thanks for being willing to share :)
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Oh Marshie!
Posted by deedeeuk
My dear friend, you go right ahead and talk about Christian all you want! (Although I still think of him as Dozer!! LOL!) Our babies are always close to our thoughts even when they aren't close in our arms anymore. Why shouldn't you talk about him and his amazing adventure (living in heaven!) just as you talk about your other two beautiful boys and their adventures? Seems natural to me! :o) (((HUGS)))
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Keep sharing. It's encouraging and it makes me have hope.
Emily
thelearningneverstops.blogspot.com
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by 40winkzzz
I will never get tired of hearing about Christian. And your joy and hope in the midst of the storm continue to amaze me.
Edited by 40winkzzz on Feb. 19, 2009 at 9:56 PM
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Feb. 19, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Tiany
Beautiful post! I do not think we could ever tire of reading about your sweet boy. :-)
Your new trees are lovely, may they blossom and grow for years to come!
Hugs~
Tiany
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Feb. 20, 2009 - What a great post
Posted by KarinKath
and beautiful memory of Christian. I don't tire of hearing more about him at all and I'm glad to know it makes you happy to talk about him. How sad it would be if you had to walk around like you never had him in your life. I think it's good for your boys too, to hear about him.
As for the tree. It's gorgeous and I have a feeling you will be enjoying some great Christian necterines in the years to come. My thumb is far from green. One of these days I'm going to grow one though!
; 0 )
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Feb. 20, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by JenIG
I love you, Marshie. I just really really love you.
AND, yes! I will be in Cincinnatti... will you?!?! We're also scheduled for Arlington TX this year. How close are you?
http://Jeneralities.com
PS i am SO glad I'm off dial up; I can now finally load your pg and it doesn't (literally) take me ten minutes. YAY!
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Feb. 20, 2009 - Love you!
Posted by Sammy4meowz
I could never get tired of hearing you talk about Christian!!!!!! Thank you for sharing so much about him! I love him and I have never met him! But I will someday!!! Thank you for your encouraging words! I know that God has a purpose for my current trial! I am truly trying to lay it down at His feet! Love you Marshie!!!!!!! :)
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Feb. 20, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by skdenfeld
Marsha, I'm so glad you still share Christian with us. I have not had much access to the internet the past year, but I'm always amazed at what an encourgement you are to others.
Still thinking thinking and praying for you.
Kathi
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Feb. 21, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Praying for you and your family here in Eastern PA.
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Feb. 22, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by SurvivingTheTestosterone
Please don't ever quit talking about Christian. Your face literally lights up whenever you talk about him or the other boys. :) I wish I could have met him.
Hugs,
Amanda
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