Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

You see, planting things in honor of someone you love and cherish is rather risky because everything dies sometime. Especially when you're not exactly living in the garden of Eden. Come on, summer in Texas is brutal! Downpours and drought turned this...

...into this...

It would be easy to focus on what was lost-- over a dozen plump little nectarines. The wet and then intense heat was too much for the tree. Now it's a goner, with no life left in the branches.

So I can focus on what I don't have or I can focus on what I do have.

We will never forget Christian. We could never replace Christian. He is alive and well in our hearts, our memories and best of all-- with Jesus! I can't wait to see all that he's explored and hear about all of the adventures he has experienced so far.

Are you dwelling on what you do not have? Or what you do have?  What is your focus?

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

It is well with my soul - Selah

Please leave any comments HERE.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Thank you, dear God, for the life of my littlest man Christian.

Thank you for letting me be his mommy. I wouldn't trade the 1,384 days with him for a hundred times the amount of days with any other child in the whole wide world.

Thank you for sacrificing your Son Jesus Christ so that I have assurance of being with my son for all eternity.

Thank you for peace and comfort when my heart is torn and flooded with sorrow.

Thank you for those precious pictures and videos to look upon whenever I am feeling down. It is a treasured and priceless gift to be able to hear his voice and giggles and words, to see his mad guitar skillz (or egg slicer skillz), and to laugh at his short temper.

Even knowing how this chapter ends here on earth, I would go through it all again in a heartbeat.

Because the joy of Christian has been worth every single ounce of pain. But I could not bear it if it wasn't for you, dear Lord. I thank YOU.

I'll see you in a little while, sweet Christian.
Love,
Mommy

PS If you'd like to leave a comment, you may do so HERE.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Many of you know that Christian had quite the fondness for fwogs.

Did you know that he was also fond of visiting Great Grandma?

Not only did she always have ice cream and soft peppermints, but she had these guys...

When I was little, I was scared of chickens (pretty much all things pecky and feathery) mainly due to a mean goose that frequented the nearby marina.

But not my Christian!

He had zero fear of feeding great grandma's chickens or going into the henhouse to gather eggs. Even I had never gone into the *gasp* henhouse. The boys would often fight about who would get to gather the eggs on our visit-- and you could always be sure that Christian would not let himself be overlooked!

I find it a little funny that whenever Christian tried to say his name, it sounded more like "Chichen" or "Chicken". In fact, his church buddy Dustin couldn't say "Christian" either. He'd walk around asking "Where's Chicken? Is Chicken here?" (But you have to imagine it coming from the mouth of a 3.5 year old boy with cowboy boots on.)

Anyhow, I just had to share that memory.

Sometimes I am fearful that I will forget the little details and special moments like that. When I remember them out loud or relive them in my mind, it makes me sad but happy at the same time. I think it's important to be thankful for those precious memories that we did have, rather than focus on not having those moments anymore (not always the easiest thing to do).

Thank y'all for listening/reading/youknowwhatImean. Your encouraging comments and e-mail's on my last post were a real blessing.

I also want to thank you friends for all of the cards, notes, and special gifts that you have sent to me and my family this past year. I am a personal, handwritten thank-you note kind of a girl but have simply been too overwhelmed to individually acknowledge every thoughtful expression and blessing. I hope you will forgive my rudeness. But please know that I have taken special notice of your acts of kindness and do appreciate each of y'all from the depths of my heart!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

While David and the boys played baseball in the front yard, I decided to do a little mowing in the back and side yards. I walked around the corner of the shed and stopped as soon as I saw this.



Wow. It has been over a year since the last time I mowed the lawn.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I popped in to visit EspeciallyHeather's blog tonight and read this post.

I read it, moved on to another one, and then decided to go back to it and read the comments. I don't know why I actually read the comments this time (versus skimming or skipping them altogether)-- it's not something that I usually do.

Heather wrote about the name Jehovah-Jireh, meaning "God will provide." It got my wheels turning about how God really does provide.

Peggy in the comments section got me thinking even more.

When my Christian passed away almost a year ago, I had a great fear of something happening to Austin and Noah. They must have slept on the floor of our bedroom for over a month! We just wanted to see them, hear them, feel them, be with them.





I kept thinking to myself, "What would I do if they were taken from me? How could I bear it?"

It was a strange battle in my heart and mind-- God telling me I need to trust Him with them and me telling God that I don't want to-- not yet and maybe not ever! (I can be such a brat sometimes.)

But God is much nicer than I am.

He didn't punish me with the silent treatment. He has more than proved himself to me this past year in His capacity to comfort, to guide, to bless, to hold up, to give much grace when much grace was needed.
And you know what? I finally laid that fear of losing my boys-- and even losing David-- at God's feet.

See? I trusted God.

So what's the problem?

It's not my fear of something happening TO them, but my fear FOR them if something were to happen to ME!

Would they be okay without me? I don't want them to suffer, to grow up without a mommy (or wife), to hurt so badly, to go through that dark valley yet again!!! How could they possibly bear it?!

As I read Heather's post and Peggy's comment, God spoke to me.

He will provide.

He will provide. If God can speak Heaven and Earth into existence, He can certainly handle the lives of my husband and boys!

He will provide. God doesn't lie and He keeps his promises 100% of the time! If God said it, He's going to do it.

He will provide. We cannot even comprehend the thoughts and ideas of God. I would never want to limit God with my lowly ways when His ways are so much higher! I don't have to understand the how's and why's of His provision in order for Him to be fully capable.

It's also rather absurd to think that God would only provide for me and not for my husband and children too, don't you think?

I have to trust God. I have to trust that God will take care of them. I have to let go of that fear, that worry, that anxiety. He will provide a way of escape. He will be their comfort. He will bind up their wounds. I have to trust Him.

I DO TRUST HIM.    Right now.



(Hey Heather, thank you.)

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I read this old Quaker saying today. Something to not just meditate on, but to take action!

What am I to do? I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good work, therefore, any kindness, or any service I can render to any soul of man or animal, let me do it now. Let me not neglect or defer it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Sometimes we get too busy in the course of the day (or week or month) to stop and think of others. It is easy to get caught up in our own needs and wants, and we forget how easy it is to encourage others, to just be a friend. And often it takes up far less of our time than we think it will. It is more a matter of resolve than schedule!

Is there someone around you that might need a friend or a listening ear? Perhaps someone crossed your mind and you thought to yourself "I should send her a note" or "I should have them over for coffee." Many times it only takes a minute to let them know that someone cares about them. That life does not have to be lonely. That they do matter. That God does love them. That not everyone who claims to be a Christian is a hypocrite.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

You'd think that a day like today wouldn't be a big deal.  After all, it's just Independence Day... it's not like it's Christmas, a birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day or anything like that.

We were blessed to be able to hang out and have dinner at a dear friend's house today.  We had a marvelous time!   After dinner, swimming for the kids, and a movie, it was a quiet ride home-- David trying to get comfortable in his seat (he had his appendix taken out this past Tuesday) and the boys just sitting and looking out the window at all the fireworks stands. 

Their favorite was always one close to our house.  While we never actually bought from them, the boys would comment year-round on the perfect name of this stand: Po-man's Fireworks.  Only, they never said "poh" or "poor"... they'd always laugh hysterically and call it POO man's fireworks!

It's almost as if David and I could read each other's minds.  We couldn't help but think of this time last year.  When we still had Christian with us.  When he'd look at his big brothers and laugh at the word "poo" with them! :)

I still remember the giant bag of fireworks we got from our friend Loren.  Man, my little pyro's LOVE fireworks!  This set of pictures makes me smile fondly every time I think of fireworks. 

David had been outside with the boys shooting a few off when Christian walked in the door.  All I could see behind his black smudged face were these bright blue eyes!  Talk about dirty!  They would light a black snake, watch it "grow" and then he'd insist on picking it up.  The snake's powdery black body would disintegrate in Christian's hand, and yet he would never give up on the impossible taks of trying to hold the thing!

It is just one of many memories that are etched in my mind. And I am glad for it.

I really really really miss him.  Like Austin said the other night, it just isn't the same around here without him. 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I have the very best friends and family-- thank you all for your prayers, love and encouragement. 

You. bless. me.

I had heard Andrew's Song by Mandisa before and forgotten about it.  My sister Coco sent it to me the other day and I had the pleasure of listening to it again.  The words are wonderful and Mandisa's voice is amazing. 

Y'know, I definitely don't cry for Christian, I just get a little sad for myself sometimes.  And that's okay.  This world is temporary and when I get to the real world, I cannot wait for Christian to show me around!  He couldn't be in more loving arms-- the arms of Jesus.  And those same arms are around me and my family as well.  I am eternally grateful for those arms and the nail scars on his hands that he bore for me.  He suffered for ME!  The very least I can do is praise Him for all that He has done and for all that He is! 

But thy lovingkindess is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.
Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:
[Psalm 63:3-5]

 

You Wouldnt Cry (Andrew’s Song) - Mandisa

 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I was riding a bike with my oldest son Austin.   It was a tandem bike that went surprisingly fast for having two riders on it.  As we approached a small playground adjacent to a building, something made me slam on the brakes.  HARD.  We skidded across the sidewalk and the rear part of the bike flew up in the air, hurling Austin across the pavement and head first into the sand.  I immediately knew that he must be desperately injured.  Disentangling myself from the bike was no easy task, but the panic rising in my chest urged me forward. 

I ran to the sandy playground to see if Austin was moving, breathing, alive!  But for some reason I couldn't focus.  A child, a little boy was yelling or making some sort of sound effects in play.  I could see him out of the corner of my eye.  Man, he was being really loud, forcing me to move my eyes away from the sand and over to him. 

Hey, do you mind being quiet over there?! Someone is really hurt over here! 

As I heard myself screaming out these words, the boy looked at me.  He was wearing a purple shirt and these little red knit shorts with a navy stripe down the side.  I looked a little closer and noticed that he must be close to 4 years old, yellow hair, blue eyes dancing, and a mischievous little grin on his face.

It finally hit me.  I began yelling at the top of my lungs "Look!!! That boy has yellow hair and blue eyes! It's my boy!  That's him over there!" 

It was already too late. Christian was gone.

Despair swept over me and I began to cry.   The kind of crying that reaches deep within as if it were pulling out the last breath, the last ounce of hope from me. 

I woke up with this crying.  Weeping out loud.  David asked me what was wrong, but all I could think to say was That boy had yellow hair!  It was him!  But then he was gone!

I honestly have not had many dreams about Christian this past year.  The first dream I had of him after he died, I was walking through an airport terminal.  He came from behind me on a little scooter-- he just kept on going way ahead of me.  It was like he was on his way to a particular place.  I think we were heading to the same place, but at his speed he was definitely going to get there before me. :-)

There was one particular week that I was have a rather difficult time with things-- being sad and just missing him terribly.  God blessed me with this amazingly clear dream where I was holding Christian-- holding him close with his legs wrapped around me.  He'd kiss me and then kind of sit back a little and look at me and LAUGH.  I woke up that morning feeling like I really did get to hold him and kiss him-- I could still feel the weight of him on me and the softness of his cheeks and how his lips were kinda boney feeling because when he'd kiss you, he'd always smile and you could be sure to feel his teeth right behind his stretched out lips.

This dream, however, was very strange, don't you think?  I still haven't figured it out yet.  I know we don't always have to figure out things-- like why I have dreams about a gorilla hanging underneath my car as I'm driving down the road.  But honestly, whenever I have a dream about Christian, it usually ministers directly to my hurting heart (like the hugs and kisses) or tells me something (like the airport- he reached Heaven first, a real place!).

You know what else is weird?  I can remember exactly what he was wearing in my dream.  This purple-ish shirt:

And these red shorts:

Not the best pictures of my littlest man, but they still make me smile-- ugly painting clothes and all!

I really don't know why I'm even posting this.  Maybe I just want to cry because it reminds me that Christian was really here.  Because some days, it feels like those precious years with him were just a dream... a figment of my imagination.  Others days it feels like he is just in the other room and I think that maybe this is the dream and that is reality (oh if it were true!).  *sigh*

Thanks for reading down this far, y'all.  I'm sure I have made zero sense here, but it's been good to get it all out instead of saving it as a draft only to delete it a couple days later. 

And since I still have ya here, I might as well force a family video on you.  Y'know, like crazy Uncle Charlie that corners you and forces you to listen to that same old story he's told a dozen times?  :-)  Here is one of monster-spiderman-Christian whooping up on his villainous big brothers (July 2007).

 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

This past week, the last "loose end" was tied when we received Christian's marker.  

I know that many people feel guilty about not having a marker made right away.  But really, what's the rush?  It's hard enough to sum up your precious loved one's life in so few words without having to worry about a timeline.  Besides, the marker is not for the person who has died, but for the people that are left behind-- for us!  The final product was worth the wait and not rushing into decisions that we might later regret.

See the little oval on the right?  There's a custom bronze frog right in the middle of it.  When you lift the cover up, you see this:

 

There just doesn't seem to be enough years between those two dates up there.  It reminds me that a successful life isn't the number of years lived, but that we fulfill God's purpose for our life in the time that we are given!  It is not my place to question God-- He is The Creator and I am merely His creation.  But I trust Him and I take Him at His Word.

It's not goodbye... it really isn't.  It's more like see you in a little while.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18

"But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

Wherefore comfort one another with these words."

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I have been pretty emotional all month long.  At times, there has been a heaviness in my heart that is impossible to explain.  I am not sure why this past month has been so difficult, perhaps the absence of Christian is beginning to sink in... it just seems a little more real that he is not here. 

I was in this state of heart and mind the other day when I came home to find this in the backyard:

You start chasing a PEACOCK through your backyard and see if it doesn't give you a change of heart!  It made a horrific sound when our dogs started chasing it-- it ran, honked and then flew straight up into a tree!

Just when I get in a funk of feeling sorry for myself, God does this. :) 

I'm sure I looked quite comical chasing this bird from who knows where all around my backyard, camera in tow (obviously).  As I was chasing and laughing and seeing the ridiculousness of the situation, I realized something...  I can't predict the future and I can't control everything around me. But God can and He DOES!  God has some amazing, interesting, funny, unimaginable and just plain good things in store for me and my family.  Most likely given when I least expect it... and just when I need it the most.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusted in thee.  ~Isaiah 26:3

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.  ~Psalm 18:30

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Earlier this week, the boys' bedroom received a fresh coat of paint and some furniture rearranging.  As I was cleaning out their toy box (because they didn't do a good job of it themselves), I was surprised to run across several of Christian's Treasures... waaaaay down at the bottom of the toy box.  I thought I had already put away most of his things, but wouldn't you know it?  There they were just waiting for me... and waiting for just the right time to be discovered!  In fact, I didn't even realize these things were lost.  I guess I had forgotten about them or thought they were tossed long ago.

The first thing I found was...

...Christian's birthday frog!  It's squishy and rubbery and feels gross when you hold it-- all the things he loved most about it!  This was perched atop his 3rd birthday cake and I remember him laughing and squealing with delight when he first saw it.  He also enjoyed showing it off to his friends when they would visit.

The next treasure I discovered was this...

...Christian's once upon a time it was clean stuffed elephant.  I think we acquired this when he was a baby-- perhaps a baby shower gift?  I honestly don't remember.  But I do remember Elephant keeping him company in his pack and play (ummm... we just didn't do a real crib this time around).  And as Christian got older, this little guy was soft and worn and dirtied up just like his buddy Blankie.  Except I just know Elephant was quite jealous of Blankie-- he just couldn't compete!

And as if that weren't enough blessings bestowed upon this mommy in one evening, God had this very last little guy waiting for me...

... Christian's bear!  Yup, it's one of those cheap, tiny, and useless Happy Meal toys.  (Please excuse Bear's nekkidness-- he used to own a little red shirt and only be half nekkid.  I hope he's not embarrassed.)  Some of our IRL friends and family might remember Bear.  Christian carried him everywhere!!!  I couldn't believe how attached he was to Bear.  Maybe he liked it so much because of its small size and the ability to shove him in a pocket.  Bear... wow, I wish I could adequately express the adoration that Christian had for him.  It just really was his favorite buddy, y'all!

So where are they now?

Well, Elephant can be found lounging around my desk in the living room.  Bear has endeared himself to David and imagines a life of travel to some exotic (and not so exotic) locales. 

And frog?  He sits on the kitchen windowsill just taking it all in and helping to remind me of one very real and important thing...

 

 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

It's hard to believe it's been 6 months already.  When I start feeling down at night, I can look forward to the morning and another day full of God's mercy and grace.  

Often times, God won't let me wait until morning to be encouraged!  He is good to bring crazy 3yo stuff to my mind to make me smile.  Tonight's episode is about pumpkin pie pineapples.  Thank you, dear God, for giving me these many precious moments with Christian (and for capturing them on video)!

PS At the end when he says I can hold it... that's when I realize I have this gigantic grin on my face. I just can't help but smile!  The way he said it, the way he looked up at me... it was all classic Christian.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

   

I think it's safe to say that spring is here since it has been quite warm for the past couple of weeks.  Even the nectarine trees that we recently planted in the front yard have blossomed and filled out with bright green leaves. While these trees aren't officially planted in honor of Christian, I just can't help but smile when I look at them. 

This past summer, Christian decided that he absolutely loved nectarines.  I would have to sternly tell him No, you can't have another one-- you've already eaten 4 today!!!  Yup, he probably would've eaten ten if I had let him.  Do you know what that could do to the... umm.. bowels of a 3yo?  A 3yo wearing big boy Red Power Ranger underwear?!  Yah, not exactly pleasant if he's distracted on timing or something. ;-)

*sigh*  I think about Christian all the time.  Everything reminds me of him.  I just miss him, y'all.  I hope you don't get tired or depressed from hearing about him, but talking about him just makes me happy-- even if I cry at the same time.

(I know this isn't a nectarine, but he also starting having a major crush on pineapples too!)

Okay, back to nectarines!  I really don't believe that Christian loved nectarines solely for their juicy, sweet flavor.  He loved them "fo' da big giant seeds mommy!  Wooook!"  Then he'd proudly hold up the large, sticky seed for me to examine and laugh his little head off at how amazing a discovery he held in his hand.  He did this every single time.  I just love how simple (and silly) boys can be-- give them some dirt, rocks, shovel, waterhose and anything unusually large (or small) and they are entertained for hours on end!

I hope the trees survive my lack of a green thumb.  And wouldn't it be a blessing to actually have fruit on that tree?  But if for some reason it shrivels up and turns a crispy brown before I get even one plump nectarine, it's okay.  It's just a tree. 

If our life doesn't turn out exactly like we expect this side of Heaven, it's okay.  There is more to real life than the here and now.

Sunshine and rain and life and death, they are not in our hands-- those things are in the hands of GOD!  We are simply the creation and He is the Creator... a Creator with a plan, a perfect plan.  A tree might lose its leaves in the winter but that doesn't mean it is dead or broken.  God planned that in the glorious spring that same tree would bring forth blooms that are fragrant and beautiful; and in the summer, be full of delectable fruit.  This life is not all that there is-- after the here and now comes real life, the life that truly matters-- eternity! 

I am determined to make the most of this here and now, this side of Heaven.. to soak up the Sonshine (sorry, couldn't resist that one- hehehe) and use this trial to grow.  It sure hurts at times but I know that in the end it will be worth it.  Actually the more I pray and seek God, He is so good to give me comfort and blessings (and grace and love) right now-- without having to wait for eternity.

Whatever trials and worries you have in your life, lay them at God's feet.  He wants to carry your burden for you.  He wants you to know Him and to know His Son Jesus Christ personally!  Won't you let Him bring light to your winter?  You don't have to walk alone.  

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Below is my post for Heart of the Matter Online. Feel free to pop on over there and leave me a comment!

There are many things in which I have a love/hate relationship… my cell phone (chatting with my sister- good, ringing during my nap- bad), our dog (protector- good, poop on my shoe- very bad!), and, dare I say it?… Valentine’s Day!

I love it y’all.

There is something about this day that brings out the best and worst in me. The best in that it forces me to not be my usual self and to just spoil my boys… even if it’s just a little spoiling. For example, giving them a heart shaped box of cheaply made, cheap tasting chocolate and letting them eat it for breakfast. Some mom’s are really good about throwing caution (and health) to the wind by letting their children eat ice cream for supper- just for fun (as in, it’s not just because it’s someone’s birthday!). I, however, am not one of those “fun” mommy’s! I’m a rule making, slightly uptight, bossy, drill-sargeant type of mom. Yes, my children know that I love them, but there’s nothing like V-day to make me purposefully think and do outside my normal box.

I hate it, y’all.

One of the things I despise the most about Valentine’s Day is the tremendous pressure on a man to woo, romance and spoil his wife. There is an over abundance of commercials, music, and movies hounding them (and us) to believe that gifts and glitter are true tokens of love and affection.

In my pre-married days, I would have defined romance as a horse driven carriage, candlelit dinners (prepared by my man, not me of course!), diamonds, roses and poetry. But alas, I did not find such things back then… and I certainly haven’t found them since! Those things can only be found in soap operas and novels! (If I am wrong, please don’t burst my bubble and just count yourself lucky for having found such a romantic mate.)

Such expectations going into marriage… My oh my, I think my dear husband did not have a chance! But even without the outward trappings of overbearing and hit-you-over-the-head “romance”, he wooed me with his handsome self, his sense of humor, his easy-going personality, his purpose and drive, his intelligence and many other fine qualities. Oh wait, he also brought me roses. Back then he did. Now? Not so much. And that’s okay.

I have come to appreciate the other romantic qualities in my Mr. Drews. How is he romantic? He does little things. Many little things.

• Calls me just to tell me he loves me.
• E-mail’s me when he’s on a trip.
• Let’s me sleep in… AND keeps the kids quiet! (which is better than what *I* do for him!)
• Leaves me quick little love notes around the house– in my jewelry box, my purse, the garage door, the closet, on the mirror, on the computer monitor before he leaves on a trip (on Word with the monitor on sleep, waiting for my fingers to touch the keyboard after the kids have gone to bed).
• He opens doors for me– car door, house door, or to any building.
• He makes up songs about how he loves his “wifey” (I hope you’re not embarrassed David, at least I didn’t make a video clip of your song to share with everyone, right?)
• He always thanks me for the meal and compliments my cooking.
• He praises me in front of our children.
• He praises me in front of his parents.
• He even praises me in front of his friends! (and I blush and get embarrassed… but I like it, I really do.)

So yes, I suppose my husband is romantic. But not the opera and picnic under the stars kind of romantic. It’s the everyday kind of romantic. It is the loving me even when I am not so loveable kind of romantic. Yup, that’s MY MAN.

How is your husband romantic? Are your expectations unrealistic? Does he show you his love and affection in his own way or are you disappointed because it is not what you imagine it should be like?

Perhaps now would be a good time to make a list of all the things that you do appreciate and adore about your spouse. And ta-da! If you use your best handwriting- or even color ink in the printer- you will find yourself with a mighty fine homemade Valentine’s Day card!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

This song by Mercy Me makes me think of when I will get to go home one day.  If it still matters to me then, I can ask God about all the why's in life. And Christian will run up to us and tell us about all that he's been doing...

 

Their newest video for this song was released on GodTube today but I couldn't get the flash to work on my blog. So youtube it is instead.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Here are a couple of  short poems from Streams in the Desert that have ministered to me the past couple of days:

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

In my reading this morning from Mrs. Charles Cowman's Streams in the Desert. God encouraged me and showed me that it IS going to be a good and blessed year!  Why?  Because no matter what it brings forth, HE WILL LEAD US.  And so it must be good.  And we must TRUST HIM... even when we fear, even when we doubt, even when we sorrow.

Instead of just giving a snippet, I thought I'd just show you the entire devotional for today, January 1st.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!!

Love,
Marshie

JANUARY 1

 The land whither ye go to possess is a land of hills and valleys and drinketh water of the rain of heaven: a land which the Lord thy God careth for: for the eyes of the Lord thy God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even unto the end of the year.

(Deut. 11:11-12)

 Today, dear friends, we stand upon the verge of the unknown.  There lies before us the new year and we are going forth to possess it.  Who can tell what we shall find?  What new experiences, what changes shall come, what new needs shall arise?  But here is the cheering, comforting, gladdening message from our heavenly Father, "The Lord thy God careth for it."  "His eyes are upon it away to the ending of the year."

 All our supply is to come from the Lord.  Here are the springs that shall never dry; here are the fountains and streams that shall never be cut off.  Here, anxious one, is the gracious pledge of the heavenly Father.  If He be the source of our mercies they can never fail us.  No heat, no drought can parch that river, "the streams whereof make glad the city of God."

The land is a land of hills and valleys.  It is not all smooth nor all downhill.  If life were all one dead level of dull sameness it would oppress us; we want the hills and the valleys.  The hills collect the rain for a hundred fruitful valleys.  Ah, so it is with us!  It is the hill difficulty that drives us to the throne of grace and brings down the shower of blessing; the hills, the bleak hills of life that we wonder at and perhaps grumble at, bring down the showers.  How many have perished in the wilderness, buried under its golden sands, who would have lived and thriven in the hill country; how many would have been killed by the frost, blighted with winds, swept desolate of tree and fruit but for the hill-- stern, hard, rugged, so steep to climb.  God's hills are a gracious protection for His people against their foes!

We cannot tell what loss and sorrow and trial are doing.  Trust only.  The Father comes near to take our hand and lead us on our way today.  It shall be a good, a blessed new year!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

We are officially done with having our first Christmas without Christian at our side.  It honestly was not especially difficult... emotionally, it was just like any other day in that we just miss him.  David and I thought about Christmas last year and how Christian would've really loved the tree and gifts and special time with grandma and grandpa this year. 

But I know that he isn't really missing out on anything down here!  Can you imagine the amazing celebration in Heaven?!  Yup, our little artificial tree, white Christmas lights and made-in-China nativity scene couldn't possibly compete with the tree of life, light from God himself and hanging around the real Jesus!!!  He is such a lucky-ducky!

Nevertheless, Christmas would've definitely been more fun with an energetic bundle of 3 year old boy running around.  So I'll just have to choose... choose to be joyful and thankful for the Christmases past and look forward to celebrating in the future with Christian in Heaven. :-)  And I am VERY thankful to have the gift of these two joys to wake up to every day!

                              

Speaking of gifts, Tank up there did get a really cool remote controlled car... that goes UP THE WALLS!  Wanna see?

I would also like to thank my wonderfully dear friends from Five in a Row (FIAR) for the beautiful Dozer quilt they made for me.  When Gwen dropped it off at my house two days before Christmas, I was surprised at how very personal the quilt was! 

 (and here's the back)

Each square is precious and close to my heart-- from fwogs to Christian's Good-Night Song to the hand-stitched rainbow... When I opened it up, it immediately brought me to tears.  I spread it out on my bed, fell on it and wept... I'm not sure how long I cried but it was deep and heavy... and cleansing.  I had been so emotional all month long and felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff... on the verge of tears every single moment.  I'm telling you, God's timing was PERFECT in this gift!  After that good cry I felt so much better.  I know that was instrumental in keeping me from being a basketcase on Christmas Eve and Day.  THANK YOU, my dear FIAR friends for your timely and very blessed gift! 

I also want to thank all of you dear friends and family for your prayers, gifts, comforting cards, phone calls, instant messages :-) , and encouragement.  You have truly ministered to our hearts.

Love,
Marshie

PS When writing this post, I was blessed by finding an account of Christian's first prayer tucked neatly away in my blog archives. God is so good!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I'm not sure who wrote this beautiful poem (I don't even know the title) but I think it's one that I will keep in my Bible.

I cannot do it alone;
The waves run fast and high,
And the fogs close all around,
The light goes out in the sky;
But I know that we two
Shall win in the end,
Jesus and I.

Coward and wayward and weak,
I change with the changing sky;
Today so eager and bright,
Tomorrow too weak to try;
But He never gives in,
So we two shall win,
Jesus and I.

I could not guide it myself,
My boat on life's wild sea;
There's One who sits by my side,
Who pulls and steers with me.
And I know that we two
Shall safe enter port,
Jesus and I.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

It's almost Christmas... the boys are in bed (maybe sleeping, maybe not)... the house is quiet... too quiet.  Any day and every day, let alone Christmas day, is less exuberant (and full and busy and noisy and fun and exciting and sweet) without my littlest man Christian around.  This Christmas is so very different from the one we celebrated last year. 

Last year, we were all together-- not only my amazing husband and three fabulous boys, but my parents and siblings and in-law's and niece and nephew to boot!  This year, David's parents are with us (and what a blessing they are!) and it is my husband and two boys-- all still amazing and fabulous, just one number short than what we wish it to be.  It's hard to believe that almost 4 months have gone by without my little blue-eyed boy to kiss and hug and hold and tickle.

But God has been faithful!  He has been consistent, ever-present, ever-loving... He has shown us in big and little ways just how much He loves us.  However, we still struggle and tend to forget these little gifts from Him as we go about our day or when we are sobbing and missing Christian and basically feeling sorry for ourselves.  It has not been easy, but we are still here, still together and have a strong marriage.  We still have happiness in our home-- definitely different than before, but happiness nonetheless. 

We have much to be thankful for...  because you know what?  It's not all about me or my family.  CHRISTmas is about Jesus Christ!!!  Because if all were taken away from me-- my home, my health, my whole family-- I would still have Him, I would still have Jesus!!!  And therein lies my joy, my peace, my future-- Jesus can never be taken away from me!  Eternity with Jesus, eternity with Christian, and I pray eternity with each of you if you will only believe and receive Him!  (Please go HERE to read more about how you can be absolutely positive about where you will spend eternity.)

This is why we celebrate.  This is who we celebrate!  Today, we celebrate your lowly and magnificent birth...  Happy Birthday, dear Jesus! 

I read this a couple weeks ago (yes, I read ahead!) from page 376 (December 25) of Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman.  I encourage you to read all the way to the end-- it's worth it and will give you the proper perspective of thanksgiving today.

A few years ago a striking Christmas card was published, with the title, "If Christ had not come."  It was founded upon our Savior's words, "If I had not come."  The card represented a clergyman falling into a short sleep in his study on Christmas morning and dreaming of a world into which Jesus had never come.

In his dream he found himself looking through his home, but there were no little stockings in the chimney corner, no Christmas bells or wreaths of holly, and no Christ to comfort, gladden and save.  He walked out on the public street, but there was no church with its spire pointing to heaven.  He came back and sat down in his library, but every book about the Savior had disappeared.

A ring at the doorbell, and a messenger asked him to visit a poor dying mother.  He hastened with the weeping child and as he reached the home, he sat down and said, "I have something here that will comfort you."  He opened his Bible to look for a familiar promise, but it ended at Malachi, and there was no gospel and no promise of hope and salvation, and he could only bow his head and weep with her in bitter despair.

Two days afterward he stood beside her coffin and conducted the funeral service, but there was no message of consolation, no word of a glorious resurrection, no open heaven, but only "dust to dust, ashes to ashes," and one long eternal farewell.  he realized at length that "He had not come" and burst into tears and bitter weeping in his sorrowful dream.

Suddenly he awoke with a start, and a great shout of joy and praise burst from his lips as he heard his choir singing in his church close by:

O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem;
Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels,
O come let us adore Him, Christ, the Lord.

Let us be glad and rejoice today, because "He has come."  And let us remember the anunciation of the angel, "Behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people, for unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord" (Luke 2:10-11).

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

This week's Heart of the Matter Online Meme is on the topic of: Where I Find My Christmas Joy.
"Eggnog, Christmas music, decorating cookies, going to church… each of these things bring me joy for one reason–they all include my family. Each moment is imprinted as a permanent part of our family Christmas legacy. Where do you find your Christmas joy?"

During the Christmas season, I find much delight in having a good excuse to give gifts to those closest to me-- be it a toy, game, baked goodies, making things together (like crafts or cookies, especially with kids)... The best part is that they (hopefully) will not give me anything in return other than the joy and satisfaction I gained in the giving.  It really is more blessed to give than to receive!

Besides gift giving, I am also quite fond of eggnog (not a la southern comfort or whatever some people put in it to make it icky!), singing Christmas hymns, beautiful lights on the trees and houses, and gathering with friends and family... especially family.  It takes exceptional people to know me so well and yet still choose to be around me!  Right, Coco?  ;-)

Christmas 2007 at our house.

JOY, however... wow, that's in a category that is leaps and bounds over "enjoy" or "delighting in".

Like the old acronym goes, you can have JOY by putting Jesus first, Others second, and Yourself last.  It's a mighty fine recipe!

Jesus- Can you imagine life if Jesus had never been born?  It literally makes me shudder.  It is through His sinless life and sacrifice on the cross that I have hope in this life and assurance of eternal life!  Without Jesus, funerals would be very different, wouldn't they?  It would be ashes to ashes, dust to dust... no hope, no rejoicing, no peace... No assurance of seeing Christian again-- what a miserable existence that would be!

Others- God has been gracious to give me many wonderful friends-- true, trustworthy, fun, caring, devoted friends... not only in my family(!!!), at church and around town, but in other parts of the country as well as in the cyber world. :-)

Yourself- I am my most miserable (read: joyless) when I think too much about myself: 

*I* am tired. 
That's not how *I* wanted things to turn out. 
*I* want the house to be spotless.*I* want things done right this second.
*I* would never throw dirty clothes right next to the laundry basket (instead of in it!).

Me, me, me! Waaaaah!  Poor pitiful me.  The *I*'s usually become more prominent during times of stress or busyness (ahem, like Christmas and any other major holiday or time that I overscheduled or don't learn to say "no" enough).  What a big baby I can be sometimes!  I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I have learned over the years that I most definitely cannot change other people.  Or control everything around me.  But I can choose to change my attitude, my outlook, my response!

Will you choose JOY in your house, in your mind, in your heart?  As a mom, you will set the tone and mood for your entire family.  The choice is not always easy, but with God's help, you can do it!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I had been dreading putting up the Christmas tree and going through all the ornaments (as well as Christmas stockings) for quite some time.  Each year, the boys will either make a special ornament or I'll let them pick one out at Hallmark.  The plan is that when they go off on their own one day, they'll be able to take their ornaments with them-- as well as all the years of memories associated with each one.  It's always a special time of reminiscing with my boys as the ornaments are hung on the tree. 

As in all the other difficult things we've had to face since Christian left us, God's grace has been more than sufficient!  Tonight really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  We didn't even cry as Dash and Tank took turns hanging Christian's ornaments on the tree.  Instead, it was a fun and precious time together as a family-- just like it should be.  God is SO good!

The tree is filled with tons of airplanes (I try to get David one every year), homemade ornaments, and three very special "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments that have the boys' pictures on them.  These special baby ones are only allowed to be put on the tree by mommy (hooray for me!). :-) 

Right up there in the special ornament category is this one that we got in 2006 for our little Linus:

Don't you just love it?  I thought it totally had the Awwwww! factor the moment I set my eyes on it.  This year, Dash hung it on the tree.  The boys and I smiled when we thought about how Christian loved to suck his thumb and carry his blue blankie around.  I'll admit that I did get that choked up feeling inside, how could I not?  But I'll say it again, I wouldn't trade my 3.5 years with Christian and all the wonderful memories, special moments, laughs, hugs, kisses and even tears for anything in the whole wide world!  I'm one very blessed momma!

Love,
Marshie

PS  Psalm 100 is a good passage to read each day.  It's a reminder to praise God no matter if your day is easy or difficult.  It encourages me to set my mind not selfishly on myself, but on God.  It's amazing how my heart is blessed and my countenance changed if I will just listen and obey...

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
~Psalm 100

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

This past Christmas, we had a birthday cake for Jesus with a candle for each child to blow out (my niece and nephew were not in a candle blowing mood apparently).  *sigh*  I just love this picture!

Today would have been Christian's 4th birthday.  I know they won't be having a birthday cake in Heaven, but if they were to have one, I imagine that Jesus would be the one to help him blow out the candles this year. 

While we miss Christian in a mighty way (oh my, do we ever miss him!), we do not grieve as those who have no hope! 

And where does my hope lie? 

It lies in Jesus Christ and the gift of salvation that is offered through the giving of his life on the cross for our sins and His victory over death when He arose on the 3rd day.  That is how I KNOW that I will see Christian in Heaven when I die! 

When I was 13 there was a specific time and place that I realized I was a lost sinner, asked God to forgive me of my sins, and gave my life to Him.  My eternal destination is not determined by scales that balance my good and bad when I die-- surely I could never live up to that no matter how "good" I am!  Salvation is a GIFT.  All we have to do is believe, repent and accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.  That is how I KNOW where my eternal destination lies.  Heaven is a REAL place, y'all!!!  God doesn't just say it in a book to make us feel better. 

Where will you spend eternity?  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  And we certainly don't know how many days we have on this earth-- it might be 44 years or maybe just shy of 4!  I sincerely pray that each of you would make a personal decision to give your lives to Jesus Christ.  Christian and I would love to meet you there-- walking the streets of gold, worshipping God, rejoicing in a (REAL!) place where ...God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away (Rev. 21:4).

I'm not sure what else to say about Christian's birthday.  I do ask for your prayers for my family.  I know that God will carry us through it and that His grace will even bring us joy in the midst of our tears today.

If joy isn't easy to come by for you today, FIND IT.  Choose to be joyful, choose to be thankful!  I am.  I am very thankful for this day 4 years ago that Christian was born.  And I am very thankful for this day-- TODAY-- 4 years since Christian was born.  I would do it all over again for the joy of having been his mommy.  Even when it hurts.

And if you really can't find joy, maybe you're trying to fill up an emptiness all by yourself or with other things?  I encourage you to look up, look to Jesus... He is the only one that can give you the peace that you seek.  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. (Isaiah 26:3)

Okay, quit reading this and go enjoy some time with your kids!!!  Not just next to them, but with them.  Savor the moment, savor the day.  Be thankful for the little messes, constant interruptions, and even dramas that may play out from time to time.  The things that you will miss the most one day are always the little things, rarely any single big thing. 

And because I just love pictures of my littlest man, here are a few of my very favorites.

Love,
Marshie

PS  I added Christian's slideshow to my sidebar if you'd like to see more pictures =========>

  

     

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I was doing okay this past weekend, really I was.  It was a strange mix of feeling sorry for myself, missing Christian terribly and also some fun with friends.  Y'know, I think about Christian every single day.  Sometimes it's little things like how one of the first words besides "mama" and "dada" that he ever said was "Icee".  (It's the honest truth that when he saw that Exxon sign when he was 1yo, he looked at it and said Icee!-- we'll just say that the consumption of Icee's is a male bonding thing in our family!)

But this time my thinking of him was different, it was more.  I ventured into the Family Christian store to pick up a card for the sweet 16 b-day party we were to attend this past Friday night.  They had already brought out all the Christmas items-- books, CDs, advent wreaths, and ornaments.  It was the ornaments that got me thinking....  

One of the traditions we have around here is that each child gets their own ornament every year.  Sometimes we make them and other times we buy them-- last year, they got to pick out their very own Hallmark ornament (talk about a splurge!).  The plan was that when they got older and had a place of their own, they would take "their" box of ornaments with them.  It's always a lovely time when we put the tree up, unpack the ornaments and talk about the "remember when's" behind each one. 

That's when it hit me.

While I have packed up most of Christian's special things, there are still those ornaments and his stocking tucked away in the Christmas bins.  I kind of mulled those thoughts all day, culminating into a good cry later that evening.  It was like every fiber of my being was missing my littlest man!!!  His hugs, his mischievous grin, the way he'd make shooting sounds with anything that could resemble a gun, how he'd come to me and say I'm humry, mommy!, how he'd sneak out of his room after bedtime and say I can't sweep- boys make too much noise!,  how he always insisted on sitting next to me, his excitement at finding a race car shopping cart at Kroger that actually had a steering wheel still attached... so many things...  so many things that I won't ever get to see, hear, feel or touch again...

As we were driving home from the birthday party, the boys and I got into a conversation about Christian.  For some reason I can't remember how it even came up in the first place; but it ended with a discussion on heaven and how we'll see him again if we give our lives to Jesus Christ and ask him to save us from our sins.   We have the promise of everlasting life-- eternity!  We will be together f-o-r-e-v-e-r!!!

Tank said, Well, I know that I'll see him again in heaven!  I bet he's having a good time on the streets of gold and hanging out at the crystal river.  When I get to heaven I can't wait to see him.  Oh and Jesus too!  That would be cool to see Jesus.   I bet they're having all kinds of fun up there!

I just love how children can see things so clearly.  My boys not only bring me JOY, but remind me of where my JOY truly lies-- and it is not here, my friends! 

And just today when I was beginning to feel sad about Christian's birthday coming up next Wednesday, I received a lovely and extremely encouraging card from JenIg in the mail.  She reminded me that Christian will be having his best birthday EVER!  And it's true.  What better place could you possibly be on your birthday than in the presence of the Lord?  And as far as Christmas, what better place can you be to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ than at His feet?!  In the presence of the King of Kings?!

Yup, that's what I thought.  There is no better place for Christian to be... no matter how much we miss him here on earth.

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
~John 14:1-4

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Many of you know that this was to have been Christian's first official year to be homeschooled-- even if it was just preschool.   Although our plans were not to be, I can look back and see God's blessings. 

One tremendous blessing was this special morning when Christian was very excited about his new desk, very own notebook, pencil box, triangle crayons, and even a couple of Kumon workbooks.  He just HAD to get started-- and I even took pictures!  God is so good to have given me this day as a gift... and I didn't even know it at the time.  You see, the big boys were still finishing up last year's work and we weren't planning to start until the very end of August... But God already knew... and He gave us this beautiful day...

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

~Isaiah 55:8,9 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

There have been so many times that I've wanted to write a post, but then I'd either not know how to word things, or I'd change my mind for one reason or another or I'd just decide to be l-a-z-y.  Here is my semi-lazy bulleted post for your perspicuous perusal:

+  The boys started soccer this past weekend with 2 games a piece.  It was a full day (hopefully with pics to come soon) and they really enjoyed playing with their teammates- both old and new.  The kids always get to choose the name for their team.  This season, Dash plays with the Dynamos and Tank plays with the Bombers.  It's always fun to see what they'll come up with each season-- past teams have been Blue Thunder, Longhorns, Jets, Hurricanes, and Wild Panthers.  This is definitely one of those times that I'm glad it's not a co-ed team.  If the girls ever outnumbered the boys and decided to call themselves something pansy like "Fairies" or "Ladybugs", I would have to stay silent on the sidelines or just walk away from the field!

+  I finally packed this in the box.  And I've only pulled it out once... just to squeeze and smell.

+  Friday night, I was invited to my friend's daughters' (12yo & 15yo) birthday party.  It was a fun girls night out of pizza, cake and ice skating!  It was a fun but late night and I am proud to report that I did not fall down on the ice.  Hooray for me!  Not bad for someone with negative skating skillz!

+  I was driving down the road the other night when a beautiful a capella version of "What A Friend We Have In Jesus" came on the radio.  I was thinking about Christian and singing out loud when I looked up into the night sky.  Just then, I saw a shooting star-- it was only the 2nd or 3rd one I had ever seen in my life!  The timing of it was perfect and I thanked God for sending that star across the sky at the exact moment when I was looking UP!

+  I know I have been throwing out lots of book titles lately, but I have always loved to read.  In the past 6 weeks, God has shown me so much through the written word.  My dear friend Laura (aka ice skating queen) gave me a book called Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman.  Let me just say that there were several occasions where the devotion for that day was exactly what I needed!  If you are going through difficult times, I highly recommend this encouraging devotional book.

+  And lastly, I had the most vivid dream early this morning!  I was at some sort of large public pool and I looked across the water to see Christian smiling and jumping into the waiting arms of my mother.  I quickly ran to where they were and started yelling "Christian!"  He smiled really big and jumped into my arms.  I was holding him in front of me with his legs wrapped around my waist.  I kissed him, squeezed him tight and then just kept looking at him and smiling.  He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me the biggest hug and kiss ever!  I'd lean back to take a better look at him and he was just looking back at me, grinning and laughing and hugging me.  I was so surprised to be holding him and loving on him-- and I yelled for David to hurry and come over.  David came and Christian gave him a big hug and kiss too.  As I was watching the two of them, something didn't seem right.  I was smiling but also questioning How could this be?  Maybe this is real and the other vaguely distant thought is the dream. 

And then I woke up.  Crying.  I cried because I began to realize that this is reality and that was a dream.  I wish I could show you how REAL it all was!  I didn't cry for long because I honestly could FEEL Christian's hug... his soft skin and lips, his squishy belly and arms around me.  Even while I'm typing this, I feel like he really did give me a hug and kiss this morning!  I could see the twinkle in his eyes and the big grin across his face.  I count it a wonderful gift and blessing that Christian visited me in my dreams!  Thank you, dear Lord, for letting me love on him again... even though I woke up here, I KNOW that he is in the presence of God and living a life in Heaven beyond our wildest imaginations.  How can one ever compare the streets of gold to the cracked and buckling concrete driveway?

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

One of the books I'm reading right now is Holding on to your faith even...When God Doesn't Make Sense by Dr. James Dobson. 

What stood out to me today is how God's presence is not inconstant.  It is our perception of Him that comes and goes.  We cannot rely on our emotions, as they often change with the wind.  His Word, His promises are always true and right and unfailing!

Another encouraging thought for today-- we must never forget that this separation is temporary.   

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I cleaned out the boys' closet today.  I have bags of clothes that Tank outgrew and also all of Christian's clothes.  I set aside a handful of shirts (okay, two handfuls) and put them in a plastic bin with some of Christian's things (his piggy bank, 2nd place trophy from the Pinewood Derby races at church, his red Converse tennis shoes that I loved, our fav knit cap, Spiderman backpack...).  His blankie is under a pillow next to my nightstand-- I'll put that in the bin very soon... but not just yet. 

I'm not sure what I'll do with some of the things in that bin.  I know that these are just "things" and are not my littlest man.  But maybe I'll make a memory quilt down the road one day... or maybe I'll open the box a couple years from now and then decide that I don't need to hold on to this or that... or maybe it'll just go in the attic and I'll never open it again.  I'm just glad that I don't have to decide all of this rightthisverysecond!

Thinking about doing all of it was actually much more difficult than the actual doing of it.  (Does that make sense?)  As I cried some and put the things away, I kept reminding myself that "He doesn't need these things in Heaven." (Thanks for reminding me of that a few weeks ago, Lele!)  And it is SO true!  I am comforted by that thought... even when I miss him like crazy.  Everyone says I am being strong, but if they only knew how God has been holding me close and speaking so very clearly to me (actually, I think He is speaking the same-- I am just being more receptive than before!).  Then they'd know that it is He that is holding me up... I am really not doing anything at all other than just trying my best to LISTEN to Him.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed;  for I am thy God:  I will strengthen thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." - Isaiah 41:10

"The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower." - Psalm 18:2

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might." - Ephesians 6:10 (emphasis mine)

Speaking of listening, have y'all heard of Rita Springer?  My friends shared a very cool song by her called "I Have To Believe"-- let me tell ya, she sings with soul!  The live version snippet on her myspace page isn't as good as the one from her CD.  (Ugh... now I have to get that image of the sooouuuuul train chugging across the screen out of my head!)

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I have been reading a daily devotional book from Voice of the Martyrs for the past few months.  This book called Extreme Devotion is by far one of the best devotional books I have ever read (not that I've read all that many to begin with!).  The stories and testimonies that I've read so far have really helped me see life with an eternal perspective-- a perspective that seems so much more real to me now than ever.  God knew when I started this book months ago, that it would be an encouragement and blessing to me.

While we have noticed every Tuesday that has gone by so far, I realize that today is the 26th.  One calendar month since Christian left us to be with Jesus (why is it easier to say out loud than type out?).    Here is an excerpt from what I read this morning...

II Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee..."

Day 148

"It has been said God will never lead us where his grace cannot keep us.  We must realize that sometimes his plan does not include a miraculous deliverance from illness, death or oppression.  Yet his grace is sufficient, and he has not abandoned us...  Sometimes his plan involves simply seeing us through an ordeal instead of delivering us from it.  Have you come to a point where you are willing to entirely rely on him?  You'll likely never say that God's grace is all you need until his grace is all you have."

And since I can't help but read more one day, this is from Day 149:

"...Your life will go on far after your body is destroyed.  Your true future is what happens in eternity, not what happens here on earth.  What fears do you have about the future?  Can you entrust them to God and face the future without fear?"

Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

And these words are always encouraging:

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18
But I would not have you be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.  For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.  For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:  Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.  Wherefore comfort one another with these words.


God's Word is always true!!!  Not just some of the time, but ALL of the time.  When things at times seem more than we can bear, we just have to TRUST HIM.  I am so thankful that we don't have to go through this alone and that God sends an encouraging word right when we need it.

Love,
Marshie

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

You've heard the old phrase (or lecture) If all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?! I had heard that a time or twenty growing up and I hate to admit it, but I have also said that to my own kids (even though I totally promised myself I would never say those words when I was a grownup)! I imagine they took that sound piece of advice exactly as I did when I was their age-- a la Charlie Brown's teacher... y'know, Waahhhh waaaah wa wahh waaaah wah.

In fact, those words came out of my mouth recently when one of my kids gave another one a wedgie. Yup, that's right, a wedgie! First of all, it's not a family ritual or pasttime to give swirlies or wedgies in this house. Second, umm... we homeschool so where did they get this bright idea? Third, that's just plain old mean and disrespectful to the other person. When the perpetrator of the aforementioned wedgie was further interrogated, his feeble defense was Well, my friend Luke does it! Ahhh... so Just because Luke thinks it's a good idea and fun, does that really make it the right thing to do? And this is the precise spot where you would insert the oft used phrase And if Luke jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?

Please head on over to Heart of the Matter to read THE REST. 

Also, HOTM has a couple of giveaways going on right now where you can win some books or tickets to HOTM's Virtual Homeschooling Conference-- which is just around the corner!

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As I write this post, there is a 93 year old gentleman lying in a hospital bed in a coma, moments away from death. Some would say "Well, he's had a full life." And to that I say, "Yes, he has." Others might say, "Well, he is old... you knew it was coming." Of course everyone dies one day, but that still makes this day sad. Sad because he is my dear, sweet mother-in-law's daddy-- whom she really does still call daddy!

To read the rest of this post, please visit me at
Heart of the Matter...

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Too much from my husband-- he's supposed to read my mind and never have a bad day.

Too much from myself-- I'm supposed to always have it together, never lose my temper, wake up at the crack of dawn and have white-glove-clean baseboards (HA!).

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Some interesting food for thought by Amy Hollingsworth.  Click HERE.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

 

Please visit me at  to read the rest of my post... :-)

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Cindy has a great post HERE.  I am so guilty.  I definitely have some apologizing to do!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Thanks to heartmatters for sharing this.  Tres cool.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

We're having an allergy triggered asthma kind of day.  Please pray for Tank.  He's really struggling right now.  I've done his once-every-4-to-6-hours inhaler twice in the past 3.5 hours and an additional nebulizer treatment.  It seems to work for an hour and then he's bad again.  I might have to call the nurse's line.

He'll be sleeping with me tonight so I don't have to constantly get up in the middle of the night to make sure he's breathing okay.  I think it is going to be a very long night indeed.

It really does put into perspective the whole new-house-is-delayed-by-at-least-another-4-to-6-weeks stress thing that I was dealing with yesterday.  House schmouse-- WHO CARES?!  There are most definitely more important things in life-- like my precious boys.  Thank you, dear God, for taking the time to point me in the right direction.  I get distracted so easily sometimes...

***update***

Hey, we made it all the way until 4:30am!  Hooray!  That is better than I expected.  Tank still sounds bad but a little sleep goes a long way to recovery... and it's always easier during the day when I can call the doctor during business hours (I hate having to call them after-hours).  I'm glad that God doesn't have business hours!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

One of my most favorite songs of all time...

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

While Dash has been away at camp this week, *I* have learned one MAJOR lesson:

I don't pray enough for him (or for my husband and other children)!

I was so overwhelmingly concerned for him as we were sending him off to camp and while he's been there, that I have prayed for him constantly.  

I have realized that while I do pray for my husband and children, I do not pray for them constantly.  There is a h-u-g-e difference between the two!  Praying constantly keeps me focused on my job (which is not quite the word I'm looking for) as a wife and mother.  What an amazing privilege and responsibility!

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
~Hebrews 4:16

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
~Jeremiah 33:3

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
~Matthew 6:6

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.
~I John 3:22

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Delay is not denial, so keep on praying!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

There are many reasons why we love homeschooling and why we answered God's call to do it.  Here are some of the many ways that we have been blessed by choosing to keep our children at home...

• I have one boy who loves to sleep-- his body just needs it!  Today, Tank didn't get up until after 10am.  I am so thankful that my growing 5yo can sleep for over 13 hours if need be.  (Now if this would just rub off on the other two, I'd be set!).
  
  
• Since we don't have to rush off to catch the bus or wait in the drop-off lane at school, Dash can have three loads of cereal in the morning.
  
  
• I'm around my boys enough to know that they like to say "loads" instead of "servings".
  
  
• My husband does not have a traditional Mon through Fri job.  I love that the boys get to spend both quality and quantity time with him!  Today they are planning to add a roof and other fun stuff to their backyard fort.  And it's only a Wednesday!!!
  
  
• I woke up the other day to find my early riser (Dash) quietly doing math.  He actually did 4 days' worth and tried to get me to let him have the rest of the week off. :-)  Nice try, buddy, but how about no math for just tomorrow?
  
  
• I think it's funny that I have to yell at the kids I mean it!  No toys, no swords, and NO BOOKS in bed! 
  
  
• When Tank and I were at the grocery store yesterday, we saw one of his favorite fruits-- clementine oranges!  We then spent the next 10 minutes talking about one of our favorite read-alouds last year My Father's Dragon.  He corrected me when I said the dragon liked the tangerines on the island.  No mommy, I remember, he liked some kind of plant and thought the tangerines were disgusting!  Elmer (the boy) liked it though.  He was right, I was wrong...and I was happy to be wrong for once.
  
  
• The boys have enough time after our lessons to hunt for crawfish, catch lizards and play yard golf.
  
  
• I think I'm having more fun learning than they are!  We just finished reading a bunch of Greek Myths.  Sure, I read The Iliad in college and new about many of the myths, but how could I have never heard of some of the other ones?  (I was most surprised to read the one about Arachni...very cool.)
  
  
• Homeschooling allowed Tank to start Kindergarten when he was ready...at 4.5...and in JANUARY of last year.
  
  
• Field trips are a lot less crowded and a lot more enjoyable when you can go on a weekday...and after noon when the school buses have left to take the other kids back to their schools.
  
  
• Oh, and I've made many friends here at HSB-- and even met several of y'all IRL!!!

My days are definitely not perfect and I have tons of room for improvement. When things don't go quite like I planned or the kids are being difficult (or maybe *I'm* being the difficult one!), it is so easy to get discouraged.  It is in these times that I try to count my blessings.  There is no blessing too big or too small to remember.  And now that I have this little list, I can look back on it down the road and be encouraged. 

How have you been blessed by homeschooling?  (Be sure to write it down!)

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

...He chooses to not remember them anymore!

Read more about it on one of my favorite daily devotional sources, Our Daily Bread.  It's a FREE resource, so check it out!

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Tank was born with the cord around his neck.  I am so thankful that there was no permanent damage.  THIS STORY moves me beyond words.   I can only imagine if I could've been half the parent as this dad.  What a hero!

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Five years ago today, I sat in disbelief.

 

David and I were still in bed when a friend called and said we had to turn on the TV.  I couldn't believe that an airplane had just crashed into the World Trade Center!  That is not exactly something that happens on accident-- is it?  My heart went out to the families of the flight crew and the passengers.  I prayed that some of them would've survived-- but with that fire, it was rather unlikely.

 

I called my sister (then living on Long Island) to tell her to turn on the TV.  She had no idea what was going on and I was relieved that she did not have a meeting in the city or something that day.

 

While watching the news, I was shocked again when I saw that second plane fly into the other tower.  Even as both of the buildings burned, it never crossed my mind that they would actually collapse!  I was horrified.  I cried.  Hearing about all of the firefighters, policemen and other heroes that went into those towers to try to rescue people... I went numb.

 

The Pentagon and Flight 93 in PA... it seemed like planes were falling out of the sky.

 

I packed up the kids and went to a friends house for our weekly playgroup.  We let the kids run around and stayed glued in silence to the TV.  No one felt like playing.  I remember it all so clearly...the feeling in my stomach, the sounds of the kids, that first phone call, even what I ate for lunch.  I never quite understood how people could remember what they were doing when JFK was shot, but now I knew I would never forget!!!

 

We live about 20 minutes from the airport and usually see planes stacked up for miles on approach...all day and well into the night.  I took for granted the sight until the skies were empty and quiet.  It was so very eerie!

 

I can't tell you how glad I was that my David (who's a commercial airline pilot) was not flying that day!!!  Actually, they did call him very early that morning and asked him to do a Denver turn, but he said no.  (He actually just now got back from doing a Denver turn...).  Many of his friends were stuck in other states or other countries for a very long time; their families having to endure this time alone...and wondering if another attack would happen any time soon.  And he was home with us!  God is so good to me!

 

When the planes started flying again, I was a little apprehensive about David going back to work.  It was such a somber and serious time.  I asked him what he would do if someone were to try to break in to the cockpit.  He and the captain ended up locking themselves in the cockpit and keeping the fireax handy!

 

I think I could go on and on about the aftermath of 9/11 for our family...the furlough, uncertainty, God's provision, possibility of Guam... but that would take up a whole lot of space! 

 

ONE thing is CERTAIN-- through it all, God was with us and blessed us beyond all measure!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I saw this today from the Homeschooling with Humor Yahoo group run by our very own and very talented Jojo...and since we've been talking about coffee lately, I thought it would be perfect to share with my friends.

 

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space

between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize
that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--- your family, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained , your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the
jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad! you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's
always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

It is almost midnight here.  Dash and Tank have been goofing around in bed-- laughing, talking, plotting-- for a couple of hours now.   They should really be sleeping.  They are very, very tired.

 

Tank just walked in with big, giant tears streaming down his face and the most pathetic frown you have ever seen.

 

Me:  What's wrong?  Why are you crying?

 

Tank:  Bwaah...sniffle...ahooooo....oooooo...sniffle... (and lots more crying)

 

Dash translates:  He's really sad because he doesn't get to go to junior camp.

 

Me:  Ummmm...YOU can't even go to junior camp for another year-- you're just not old enough yet.  It'll be three more years before Tank can go.  (turning to Tank)  Why are you crying about this now???

 

Tank:  Because he gets to go and I don't get to go.  And you know the only thing I don't like about camp?  It's that youuuuu won't be camping with me!  Waaaahhhh!!!

 

Poor guy must've taken some crazy pills before bed.  He was seriously distraught about a camp that he won't be attending for another three years.  I can still hear him whimpering quietly in his room.  Dash is trying to console him and tell him that it's just the rules and when he's old enough to go, he'll probably not want me there with him anyway. 

 

While I am flattered that he wants to be with me, it is a bit silly, don't you think?  All that crying and worrying about something so far in the future.  Especially when he doesn't have all the facts about camp...and doesn't quite understand the present, let alone the future!

 

He'll be fine in the morning.  Just needs some sleep and a little more time.  But I'll give him another hug and kiss before bed...maybe make him giggle (but not too much-- don't want to wake up the not-quite-a-baby-anymore!).

 

Sounds a little like me at times.  Needless fretting and worrying about silly stuff.  Crying to God when I don't even realize that I am not understanding the big picture.  And God is always patient and understanding and loving and encouraging...and wipes away my tears and calms my anxious heart. 

 

By the way, after hearing silence for a while I went into his room for the nightly check before I head to my own bed.  Tank was asleep and as I adjusted his blanket, he said (with eyes closed) Mommy, the only thing I don't like about camp is not having you with me.  I kissed his sweet head and told him that I will always be with him and take care of him.  He sleepily replied, Yes Ma'am and turned over and went back to sleep.  I just love that boy!

 

 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

After lunch today, I will be loading up the kidlings and heading home to visit my daddy for Father's Day.  I am so blessed to be able to just go home!  I am also very blessed with all of the wonderful father's in my life!

 

First, I am thankful for my heavenly Father.  I still can't believe that He loves me enough to have sent His own Son to die for my sins.  I can't say that I would willingly sacrifice my own child for the sins of others!

 

I am thankful for my daddy.  Although generally a quiet man, we would have the best conversations when we'd go for evening walks together.  Many times it was just me and him--a rarity in a house of 5 children!  I'm sure our conversations were often one-sided-- I talked waaaay too much and he listened patiently.  He was and still is a living example of what a true Christian should be-- honest, loving, and kind.  Daddy, I could never have asked for a better father than you!

 

I am thankful for my father-in-law.  My husband is an only child and was raised by his dad.  They were such buddies (and still are)... and man, oh, man did my f-i-l put up with A LOT!  heheheee... Honestly, if it wasn't for the amazing love and dedication of my f-i-l, my husband would not be the fine father and husband that he is today!   So thank you, dad, for teaching my husband how to be a real man.

 

And last but not least, I am very thankful for the father of my children-- my beloved husband of almost ten years!  I just love to see him play with, talk to and just be with our boys.  They eat up all of his attention and totally want to be just like him when they grow up!  He is never ever too busy to include them in his plans.  He talks to them, teaches them, plays with them, and never ever complains about bringing them with him on errands...He enjoys their company and they bask in his!  Thank you, baby for being such a great daddy!  It will be a sad (but funny) day when they really do whoop up on you in wrestling!!!  I am so glad that you are not letting their childhood slip through your fingers-- riding bikes, burn piles, swimming, CiCi's, Home Depot, the driving range, father/son campout, Pinewood Derby and popcorn... they will always remember and hopefully do the same with their children one day.  You're the best, baby!

 

To all of the father's in my life (and all of you out there in blogland)...

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

 

Love,

Marsha

 

PS  This is for all you daddy's out there that are helpful with the babies...my husband included!

 

 

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Video Sharing

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

...of why we do what we do...

 

Check out this great, encouraging video entitled Animal School from RaisingSmallSouls.com.

 

 

And for a weird thing to try, check out Aligirl's blog.  hehehee...

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I have been having a very long string of very bad days.  It all came to a head on Saturday when dh was puking, the baby was fussing and very snotty, Tank was coughing and snotty, dh had to go to work very sick, I had work to do (toting along said fussy, snotty baby)...milk poured onto the carpet, bonking my head really hard, previously mentioned fussy baby playing in the poopy toilet with water ALL over the bathroom, and then to top it all off--- bleach spots on my brand-new, really cute pair of brown mid-length capri pants (the kind that roll up at the bottom)...and the bleach spots happened while cleaning up the aforementioned icky bathroom mess.

 

Whew!  I am SO glad that God gives us new days!  And lets us start over!

 

It had been a week long string of ultra-terrible days.  I had such a sorry poor me attitude...completely focusing on myself, my stress, my responsibilities, my poor aching head.  Instead of focusing on GOD, I was completely focusing on myself.  When am I going to stop being so selfish and prideful???  I was too busy to take the time to pray...not just the quick God help me! prayer, but to really PRAY. 

 

During this time, I was stuck in terrible traffic twice.  Both times, there were major accidents that just happened!  Ambulances were required at both and one of them involved two cars, a semi, and resulted in fatalities.  It really hit me that things could be MUCH worse!  What in the world do I have to complain about anyway?  So I had a few bad days.  So my kids were not their best because I was too busy putting out fires and being stressed out instead of turning it ALL over to the Lord.  Like an idiot, trying to shoulder my own burdens instead of doing things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Phillippians 4:13).

 

As I was completely stopped on the highway, I watched the life-flight helipcopter land in front of the car ahead of me.  I also saw a man holding his baby.  There was a car that was completely smashed in the right lane.  Then when I looked really close at the semi that was next to it in the far left lane, I saw a black car between that semi and the concrete barrier.

 

How in the world could a car fit in that spot?  And then someone walked up and tossed a crumpled carseat out.  I started to cry.  I'm not sure if the healthy baby that the man was holding belonged to that carseat or not.  Maybe it was another baby. 

 

I am so thankful that I was alone in my car and not involved in this accident.  I am so thankful that my children are healthy (even if they are snotty and fussy sometimes).  My bad days were simply that...bad days.  Not a lifetime of dealing with a special needs child, not battling a terrible disease, not dealing with the death of a parent or my husband.  Just a bad day.  And then my wonderful God gives me another one where I can start all over again!  I may not be guaranteed that next day or hour, but I am so thankful that I've already gotten much more than I deserve!  And I know that when I die, it will be temporary...a fleeting moment...and then I will be in the presence of Jesus!

 

Today, my non-talking Dozer said Good boy! as he obediently threw some trash in the trashcan.  Dh is also feeling much better today and was able to go to work without any problems.  Tonight, Dash scored a whopping THREE goals in soccer!  While we were driving home, my very sweet Tank looked at his big brother and said I'm really proud of you!  You did a really good job!  He is SO sweet, isn't he?  And to top it all off, I got a fabulous letter from my grandma today (thanks G-ma!).

 

It has been a good day today.  In fact, every day is a pretty good day, even when things don't go quite like I want them to.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Check out this article that mistresninos pointed out today.

 

And here's one more...

 

Lots to think about, huh?

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Timely as always, this is what I received in my inbox today. 

 

Did I mention that tonight is yet another night that I will be missing church?  The baby has that hand-foot-mouth thing that's not really contagious but it scares parents-- especially the new ones that have kids in the nursery. *sigh*  Oh and I did get into a little fender bender yesterday-- don't ask...don't want to talk about it.  We're all okay...it was my fault. *big sigh*

 

But as Nancy talks about in the following devotional, I did pass by a major accident on the way to the pediatrician today.  This poor lady was on a stretcher and being loaded onto an ambulance.  All I can say is, Thank you Lord for not letting that be me.  It was just the baby and I yesterday and a very, very low speed rear-ending...I hit the car in front of me.  It was God reminding me that He has a purpose for all things and that He protected us...reminding me also of what is most important in my life.

 

Love,

Marsha

 

PS Keep reading! :-)

 

 

**************

Dear Reader,

 

Today I am posting a devotion that I sent out to you last winter, and I think the winter before? I am not doing this because I don't have anything else to send you. But once again, this week, I looked up from reading the Word in my early morning Quiet Time to behold the most beautiful sight of brilliant colors of red, pink and gold silhouetting the bare winter trees. I was in awe. I couldn't stop from going outside and praising the Lord for His beautiful creation. And I thought, "I'll just have to send this devotion to you again!"

Love from NANCY

WINTER BEAUTY  

Isaiah 61:3, "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified ."

I look up from reading the Word of God in my morning Quiet Time. Oh what a glorious sight meets my eyes. A beautiful sunrise of brilliant salmon pink glows through the bare leafless branches of the winter trees. It is glorious. I am awe-inspired. Why haven't I seen these beautiful skies before? I realize that I hadn't noticed them before because they were hidden from my view by the thick foliage of the tall trees that surround us here in the Tennessee woods.

Wintertime is stark and barren, but it is in these bare times that we see beauty that we don't normally see. As I drive the country roads in the winter, I often exclaim, "Oh, I haven't noticed that home before." Or, "I've never seen that barn." The lovely leafy laden trees had blocked them from view.

Perhaps you are going through a winter season in your life. Your heart is cold. The outlook seems ugly. You feel stripped of all that you hold dear. Can I remind you to lift up your head? Look up. As you do, you will see things in a new light. You will see God in a new way. You will see different facets of His beauty that you hadn't noticed before. You will see things that God has been waiting to show you that He couldn't reveal to you with all the foliage around your life.

Often God has to strip us of all our trappings and the things we daily rely upon, so He can reveal Himself to us. We don't need Him when we have everything else around us to rely on. We don't see Him clearly when our sights and senses are filled with other things.

I used to think the bare trees of winter were rather ugly, but I have now come to appreciate their own uniqueness. I love their intriguing beauty as they silhouette against the differing moods of the sky. I delight to see the tiny thin branches of the trees, which show up like lace in the sun-setting sky. There is nothing more striking than the moon shining down through the bare trees. What could bring more pleasure to the eyes than seeing the hoar frost or a fresh snowfall balancing on their bare outstretched limbs? And of course I now see the sunrises that I don't see in the other seasons.

There was also a time in my life when I didn't like going through hard times. I'd rather not have to face them at all. But I have learned to find beauty in these times too. This is when God does His deepest work in our hearts. This is when we really grow. This is when God is able to conform us to the image of His Son.

Don't despise these winter seasons. Don't let your heart get bitter. Fling off that self-pity. Don't cower in the dungeon of despair. Open your spiritual eyes. Look up. Unless I had looked up from my reading to see the sunrise, I would have missed it.

You won't see unless you look up. There are beautiful things to behold that you haven't seen before, which you cannot see in any other season. God will reveal Himself to you in a deeper way. And you will see a new sunrise in your life.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

"Father, I have been shivering in this winter experience. I feel bare and stripped of everything. Lord, I am sorry, that I have been looking at the ugliness of it all. I have been consumed with self-pity. I confess this to you. Lord, I look up to you. I want to behold your beauty. I look to see your goodness in the land of the living. Show me glimpses of the precious work you are doing in me in this winter season. I thank you for the good work you are doing in me."

AFFIRMATION:

I will look for God's beauty even in the barren times.

Many women like to save these devotions. They print them out and keep them in a folder to read over and over again. Some print them out and pin them on the fridge with a magnet to read through the week. If you are printing this devotion and need it to be smaller, highlight and change to a smaller font.

If you know others who would be blessed by these devotions, you are welcome to forward them or let them know they can subscribe by sending a blank email to subscribers-on@aboverubies.org

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

While I hope my children are appreciative in all that dh and I do for them, my sincere wish is that they take me for granted one day.  At least a little.

 

Growing up, my parents were ALWAYS there for me.  Yes, my dad and mom both worked all day (very hard at that!) but I knew that they would be at the spelling bee.  Or band concert.  Or booster club meeting.  Or our school's open house.  Or when I needed to talk.  Or to kiss me goodnight. No matter what, they were there...  No easy feat when there were five of us kids.   That's enough of a span to have at least one in elementary, middle and high school at the same time!

 

I remember complaining about my mom dressing nicely for open house.  As in suit and heels.  Mom, can't you just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt or something normal like the other mom's?  I should've just been glad she cared enough to come and look nice to boot!  My mom would also bring us lunch sometimes.  Not just any lunch, mind you...but either a hot slice of pizza from our fav pizza place or a deli sub sandwich.  It cost her a lot of time and her very hard earned money!  Weren't mom's supposed to do these types of things?  It wasn't until I was older that I realized I was a very lucky-ducky!!!

 

Today has been a pukey kind of day.  My little chunky-monkey was sick last night with a fever and dispelling a whole bunch of gross-ities (yes, it is now a word).  So I was up much of the night with him.  Then today while I was running a necessary errand, Dash threw up in the car.  As I quickly pull over, Tank throws up.  Then he gets out of the car and gets sick again.  And then on the way home.  And then at home.  Are you feeling a little green yourself, now?

 

Anyway, you know these things never happen when dh is at home.  He is just now (at 10pm) on his way home from work and has to leave again early tomorrow morning. 

 

Ahhhh...but what does this have to do with taking parents for granted?  Well, like any good daughter, when things get rough I call my mommy! 

 

And guess what?!  My dear mom and dad will be here to rescue me tomorrow.  And I didn't even ask them to.  They love me enough (or at least feel very sorry for me!) to drive the 4.5 hours here.  I am so thankful that I have such caring parents.   They found out about my day this afternoon/evening and are planning to leave their house tomorrow morning at 5:45am.  Now that is love, I tell ya!

 

Just like always, they are here for me.  It's not convenient for them.  But they do it because they love me.  And the grandkids (of course).  Mom and dad, I promise that I will try to not take y'all for granted like I did when I was younger.  And I hope that by following your example of dependability and sacrifice, that my kids will take me for granted one day too.  At least a little.  Because when they know that no matter what, they can count on me...I will know that I have found some measure of success.

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I just love Nancy Campbell's e-mail's!  They are always timely and encouraging to my heart.  Here is what I received in my in-box today.  If you would like to subscribe, just follow the instructions at the bottom.

 

 

WALKING IN THE MIDST

 

Revelation 2:1, "These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks."

 

The seven golden candlesticks referred to in the above Scripture are the seven churches of Asia who were to be a shining light to the darkness around. God also wants to walk in the midst of our churches today. He wants to walk in the midst of our homes. He wants to fill our homes with His presence so we can be a light in our neighborhoods.

 

Would you like Jesus Christ, the Son of God to walk in the midst of your home? If He was walking around in the midst of your home, do you think it would make a difference to what is going on? Do you think it would make a difference to what you say? How would it affect the arguing, the complaining and the bickering? Would it change what you watch and listen to?

 

Jesus wants to be in your midst. Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." Start the day by honoring His name and inviting Him to come into every room of your home. Honor His name throughout the day. Call upon His name. Do everything and say everything in the name of the Lord Jesus as it commands us in Colossians 3:17. And He will fill your home with His presence.

 

I love the beautiful Scripture in Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing."

 

Look what happens when Jesus is in the midst of your home...

1. He will deliver you. He will give you the victory. The NIV says that "He is mighty to save." The Moffat's translation says that He will be "a Warrior to the rescue." Oh how wonderful that He is always available to come to our rescue.
   
2. He will rejoice over you with joy. He takes great delight in you. When Jesus is in the midst, there will be rejoicing instead of gloom and despair.
   
3. He will quieten you. The word for 'rest' in this Scripture is 'charash' which means 'to hold one's peace.' The NIV translates it correctly, "He will quiet you with his love." How wonderful. When Jesus is in the midst, He will help you to hold your tongue and be silent. He will help you to be quiet instead of lashing out or throwing a wobbly.
   
4. He will sing over you. Isn't it wonderful to know that when Jesus is in our midst that He sings over you with joy? God joys over His people. He rejoices over them to do them good. (Deuteronomy 30:9; Isaiah 65:19; Jeremiah 32:41) He wants you to sing over your children with joy too.

What a joyful home when Jesus is in the midst!

 

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

 

Affirmation:

 

I am walking with Jesus in my home.

 

Prayer:

 

"Lord, I thank you that you want to walk in the midst of my home. I invite you to come into every room. I invite you to be the Head of our home. Amen."

 

Many women like to save these devotions. They print them out and keep them in a folder to read over and over again. Some print them out and pin them on the fridge with a magnet to read through the week. If you are printing this devotion and need it to be smaller, highlight and change to a smaller font.

If you know others who would be blessed by these devotions, you are welcome to forward them or let them know they can subscribe by sending a blank email to subscribers-on@aboverubies.org

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

I am very blessed to actually have a separate room for all of our school stuff.  We have a split level home with a second living area on the bottom level.  This is our schoolroom.

 

My favorite kind of day is when it's chilly outside and we can have a nice, roaring fire in the fireplace.  Okay, you can now quit imagining The Great Smoky Mountain Fire of 2005 or even the Gena-type fire.  I know you are!  Back to my schoolroom...  The kids and I think it is a greatly fabuloso day when we can take a couple of breaks and roast marshmellows!  Yuppers, I let the kiddos consume these monstrous puffs of pure sugar in the morning and then expect them to sit quietly and do their work.  What is more fun than stabbing some fwuffie puffs and cooking them to a black, carcinogen-laden crisp over an open fire?  Yummmmmy!

 

These types of days are absolutely perfect!  What is not to love about roasting marshmellows during school?!  I would dare say that I am one content woman.  Now it's not CONtent woman, but conTENT woman...

 

Well, I thought I was content until I started a new read last night-- Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment by Linda Dillow.  It got me thinking about how I am a relatively happy person, but I do complain sometimes both out loud and in my heart.  I'll start thinking about things that are not to my liking-- like the laundry (again!), the people zooming down our street at all hours, how I wish we didn't have stairs, how I wish my husband would eat a vegetable...any vegetable.  Sure these are just little things, but a lot of little things can add up to a sour countenance and an ungrateful heart-- and I don't want either!

 

In this great book, Ms. Dillow tells about her friend Ella in the first chapter.  Ella was a missionary in Africa for 52 years.  She not only endured, but found contentment and joy in this foreign land with no electricity and 120 degree heat! 

 

Here is Ella's prescription for contentment:

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything-- not even the weather.
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
• Never compare your lot with another's.
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
• Never dwell on tomorrow-- remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

She is SOOO right!  And if I were truly content with all of God's gifts and blessings to me, I would NOT be doing any of the above!  Yes, I am a happy woman and I do feel very blessed...but I should strive to be truly content...completely appreciative in my circumstances, in God's place for me right now.  I plan, I worry, I do this, I do that...completely forgetting that GOD loves me and promises to take care of me.  He certainly doesn't need my help or guidance to do that!  The apostle Paul is a great example for us to follow.

 

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

 

I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

 

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 

~Philippians 4:11-13

 

I can't wait to start reading more of Calm My Anxious Heart-- it is such a great book so far.  And instead of thinking about all the things that bug me this week, I will meditate on:

 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

 

~Philippians 4:8

 

 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Sorry to disappoint y'all but I am NOT prego!  (Don't even think about calling mom, Coco!)  However, my two older boys have been cutting out leaves from construction paper this morning.  We're going to do something with them, just don't know what yet.  Anyhoo!  This is the conversation that I overheard this morning.

 

4yo: Hey, we're both cutting out our second leaves at the same time!

 

6yo (with a big grin on his face):  We're twins!!!

 

4yo:  Yup, we do everything together.

 

I am sooo thankful for moments like this!  There was a time when they couldn't even be in the same room together...they would always fight and scream at each other.  I prayed for them...a lot...

 

I honestly thought that they didn't love each other and I was a horrible mother.  Because mothers are supposed to control these things, right?  Then one day another kid hit my younger son (2yo at the time).  My then 4yo yelled at the other kid to go away and then attended to his younger brother.  *LIGHTBULB*  Ohhhhh...They can hit and beat up each other, but no one else can...They DO love each other!!!

 

Eventually, they started playing together more and actually sought out each other's company...without fighting too much.   They have come such a long way to THIS MOMENT OF TWINDOM!  What a blessing!  They still fight sometimes and aggravate each other, but most of the time they play merrily together and have lots of adventures and say weird, funny things that I can post about here.

 

Thank you, dear God for your love and blessings upon my family!  And thank you for a family that loves to spend and is able to spend both quantity and quality time together.

 

PS Check out this new contest and nominate your fav friends here at HSB!

 

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Here is a wonderful devotional by Nancy Campbell from Above Rubies.  You can subscribe to her encouraging e-mail's by following the instructions at the end.  I always seem to get these in my in-box just when I need them the most!

 

Love,

Marsha

 

John 6:5-6, "Jesus said to Philip, 'Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?' He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do."

 

The crowds gathered to Jesus to hear His words of life and to be healed of their sicknesses. Soon there were thousands -- five thousand men besides women and children. Jesus was filled with compassion towards these people. He not only wanted to feed their souls, but feed their bodies. And so He turned to Philip to ask him where they could buy food for all these people.

 

Philip was nearly dumbfounded! "It would take a small fortune!" He spluttered in unbelief. Actually, different translations give different amounts. The NIV says that "eight months' wages would not buy enough bread." The CEV says that "it would take almost a year's wages." The situation looked impossible to Philip. He couldn't see past the thousands of people and the impossibility of feeding them all. His faith could not go beyond his sight.

 

But Jesus had asked him this question only to test and stretch his faith. Jesus knew all along what he would do. And we now know the outcome of the story and how Jesus fed this huge crowd from five small barley loaves and two small fish!

 

But let's put ourselves in Philip's place. What would you have answered? I'm sure my response would have been the same as Philip's! But I pray that my faith will be stretched. I want to see beyond the looming difficulties in front of me. I want to see beyond the impossible situations. I want to look to God to whom nothing is impossible.

 

God wants us to believe Him. He wants us to trust Him in His mighty right arm. He wants to lift us up from our earthly sighted view to see Him. Our God is not a man. We must not bring him down to our level and to what we see. We must come up to where He is and see things as He sees them. He sees far beyond the circumstances that we see. He knows how He will deliver us. He knows the final outcome. All we have to do is trust.

 

Next time you face an impossible situation; do you think you could change your response? Instead of confessing it is impossible, confess your trust in God. "Lord, I know that you are bigger than this situation. I can't see a way out, but I know that you know the way out. I trust you to lead me. I trust in you to do what is impossible."

 

There are times when God will put you in situations, just as He did Philip, inn order for your faith to stretch and grow. Don't waste these situations.

 

Remember, that all along God knows what He will do. He has the answer. He has everything in control. Absolutely nothing is impossible to Him.

 

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

 

Affirmation:

Nothing is too difficult for God.

 

Prayer:

"Oh God, I thank you that nothing is I impossible to you. Help me to increase my faith. Help me to get into the habit of always looking to you, instead of the problems I face around me. Amen."

 

If you know others who would be blessed by these devotions, you are welcome to forward them or let them know they can subscribe by sending a blank email to subscribers-on@aboverubies.org

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Per Amy Beth's recommendation, I have begun reading Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow.  So far it is a very easy read that I am really enjoying!  While I hate seeing my shortcomings written down by somebody else, I do like reading about ways to improve my marriage and bless my family.  This book has been an encouragement so far and, although my reading is late at night, I haven't dozed off once! 

 

I am only through the first quarter of the book and am sorry to say that I can't believe how I can screw up something so simple as priorities!  Take a look at this list of priorities for my life:

 

1. God

2. Husband

3. Children

4. Everything else

 

Even with everything after children being lumped into a single number 4, how is it that Everything Else seems to climb up the ladder of priorities and-- gasp!-- has even been known to perch itself on top...yup, the VERY top!

 

I have written this short list down and taped it to my bathroom mirror for a daily reminder of how I should view my day.  It has been a tremendous help in trimming down the time-robbers in my day.  It has also helped me see that my day is meaningful even if it's spent lounging with my dh on his day off (because he WANTS me to!) or playing games with the kids. 

 

It's okay to say NO to the Mission Conference, Homeschool Thanksgiving Banquet and the Christmas play at church.  Yes, these are things I enjoy and could do right now, but it would be at a very high price...my sanity and stress level would go out the window and my dh and children would suffer much more than they would ever be blessed.  My ministry right now, especially with such young children, is to my family...this is my current season.  And I am HAPPY in it!!!

 

I will pray and praise God in all things...even things like  .

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

~Isaiah 43:2

 

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

~Isaiah 40:31

 

Humble yourselves therefore unto the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 

~I Peter 5:6,7

 

• Give to the Salvation Army
• Read a personal perspective and updates on Hurricane Katrina from Lori Seaborg

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

 

And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?

 

I Peter 3:12,13

 

Don't you just LOVE God's promises to us?!  And I am so thankful that He gave us His word in such a poetic and beautiful form!

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

For some reason, I am quite overwhelmed right now.  But after some heart-felt prayer, I am beginning to feel God's peace...the kind that passeth all understanding.   I am so thankful for God's Word to guide me!  Here is what He has shown me tonight.

 

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

~Isaiah 43:2

 

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

~Isaiah 40:31

 

Humble yourselves therefore unto the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 

~I Peter 5:6,7

Posted in Encouragement and Other Thoughts

Many of us are getting ready for a new school year.  I don't know about ya'll, but it seems whenever there is something new tossed into the equation (like a new curriculum or a new baby or, in my case, both!) I tend to worry and get a little stressed.  So here is something on which to meditate:

 

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

 

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

~Philippians 4: 6,7  (emphasis mine)