Aug. 11, 2006 - What has happened to respect??
What has happened to respect? You know that little word that a song was made about, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me? I wonder what has happened to it? Doesn't anyone learn it anymore??
I remember while growing up in a strict Spanish household, how respect was taught and demanded of us. I recall my father telling me 'Look at me when I talk to you' and when I did, then he would say 'Don't you look at me like that'. Boy, was I confused!! But, I was taught that children must, must respect their elders. We were never to question or talk back in any form to our elders, even if we knew deep down inside that they were wrong.
I still to this day say, 'Yes and No Maam and Sir'. I don't have to ever be reminded to say it. I instinctly say it. That is what I am teaching my children. Since the time they were able to speak, they have been taught manners. But, most importantly they have been taught to respect. They are always reminded to say, Maam and Sir as well as please and thank you.
People look at me strangly when I correct my children and expect them to repeat Sir and Maam. But, it is so important to teach them while they are young. Why aren't more parents instilling these values?? I cringe when I hear a child demand something instead of asking politely. It drives me crazy when a child doesn't say 'please' or 'thank you'. Doesn't anyone else see it?? Sometimes I wonder if I am living in archaic times, when I am demanding the respect that we deserve. My parents demanded it, expected it and received it. Why is it so different today??
I refuse to stop teaching my children how to behave in public. I refuse to stop teaching them manners and most importantly RESPECT. Imagine how different our lives would be if this was instilled in all our children. For starters, we wouldn't have the problems that our teachers face today. By that I mean, when I child is rude and disrespectful and they are not able to do anything about it. Sad, isn't it!!
All I ask is where is the respect?? I can rest assured that my children have learned the meaning and are following our teachings and can only hope and pray that they do the same when they have children of their own.
Until next time....
Blessings,
Daisy
Comments
Aug. 11, 2006 - You're not the only one who's noticed!
Posted by mrsmaintenance
Kids these days really ARE disrespectful, aren't they? Many of them are just downright rude. I'm only 25, so to a lot of people, I'm just a kid. But I learned that respect from my parents, and it just galls me when I see all these mouthy children. However, I know a lot of them learn it from their parents. I saw a woman at my apartment complex, yelling at her own daughter, and every other word was a swear word. She called her own daughter the "B" word and the "A" word. It's no wonder, then, that today's children turn out the way they do. I can't fathom talking to any child like that, let alone my own. I'm sure there have always been disrespectful people, but it does seem so much more widespread than it used to be, even when I was growing up in the 80s.
Aug. 11, 2006 - Respect
Posted by OurLittleSchoolRoom
That is something we are recognizing and trying to teach our own children right now. How easy it is to hear the message, and not listen to how it is conveyed. I am trying to teach myself to hear how they are saying things so I can correct them before it becomes a big issue.
Thanks for the great post.
Blessings,
Karen
Aug. 12, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CommunicationFUNdamentals
I think the reasons are three fold:
1. Society now teaches that to correct a child is to stifle that child's creativity. That's why 2 + 2 = 5 these days, that's why morals are relative and that's why rudeness is tolerated.
2. Since the 60's, society has taught that mom can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan" and so thousands of moms went out to work believing in their "liberation" but found bondage instead. Moms are now almost required to work and take care of the house. And the most recent development? "Me time!" Now moms are taught that they need time away from the home for themselves to get over some of their crazyness of taking kids to soccer after racing to school to pick them up from work and stopping off at the Mc Donalds for food because they were too busy to make dinner. Moms are tired, frustrated, stressed and not so polite themselves anymore because of it! They are taught that they have to be "Super Mom" and they find that they don't even like their life.
3. Communication skills have degraded during the past 44 years of my life. In the 60's when I was born, life was simpler, less filled with technology. Unfortunately, a byproduct of technological growth has found that communication technology has replaced communication effectiveness. (I wrote a blog entry all about this) When I was a kid, it was considered too expensive to talk to a relative over the phone who lived across the country. Now we have flat rate calling plans and we call everyone all the time! When I was a kid, I didn't know what a computer was. Now you can reach across the computer and have a relationship with someone half way across the world! While this is educational and has brought our communities closer together, it is caused us to rely too much on the technology and forget that it is not as much what you say as how you say it! Communication skills have degraded so far that companies are now actively seeking employers who have them because miscommunication has become a company wide problem! It has degraded so far that families are no longer close knit, people throw spouses away after 2yrs on the average! And the number one reason for a marraige to break up? Lack of effective communication! The biggest reason for violence? Children not being able to effectively communicate their wants and needs.
I am constantly told how well behaved my children are and that I must be a great parent because it is so hard to teach children these days. It isn't hard, it just take time. The time that most parents don't have.
My 16 y/o dd is frustrated when she hears that parents expect teens to misbehave, to rebel and to experiment with drugs or sex. She is actually writing a book about it. She says that the reason teens rebel is because society teaches that they should. That it is part of growing up. That all generations did this. Well, it's not true. Until the 60's most kids grew up with morals and values and manners. Most kids do and should experiment with their own identity. My dd does! But if their parents have the time and don't buy into the garbage society throws at them through the media, they can teach their children good manners and good morals. Thankfully there are still parents like you, Daisy, who still do!
JoJo
Aug. 14, 2006 - I AGREE!
Posted by MommaStaley
Daisy,
I like your post. It's a great reminder to me as a parent that I need to be teaching and modeling respect. Thank you for your insight.
Cari (from WAHHMS) :)
