sometimes I wonder.   okay, so right now I am smack dab in the middle of taking christmas applications for people who need help with food and toys.

sometimes i feel like i live such a double life.  I don't really celebrate Christmas - except to use as an evangelistic tool and a way to talk to people about Jesus.   And yet here I am, helping people get toys and food for a holiday that they don't really even celebrate themselves.

Now, I am NOT being cynical - and I'm not in a bad mood - but I just don't get it - when people have to be given toys so that they can give them to their kids.   Why can't they make something - or do something together as a family - or have a nice family dinner (which is rare among many families).    Why the whole toy/gift thing? 

Now, dont get me wrong -  I love to give gifts but to be honest, I like doing it all the time.   It's not my main love language but I love doing it.  I just don't understand why we emphasize it at Christmas.     It just sounds so materialistic and greedy to teach our children to expect something for nothing - and from people that they don't even know. 

Anyway, I'm trying to make my schedule like this - I will be at home in the morning (do school, housework, etc.) - then me and the kids all go to the church and I work and they hang (sometimes doing schoolwork, sometimes playing in the gym, sometimes volunteering with the other groupies).   About dinner time, Steph (the girl who is living with us for a little while) comes by and picks up the kids to take them home for dinner, baths, and bed - and usually movies.   That's the plan.   we've done it for two days - ithas worked.  

the problem is school - since i am so busy with christmas at the office right now, i don't spend a lot of time on schooling them - so I'm looking for self-directed activities - which works well for three out of four of them!  

I'm going to make Hanukkah books and have them go through them during the slow hours when I'm busy . . . coloring, etc.   I also have JBop which goes through the holidays.    other than that, they are doing the times tables daily and reading Narnia.

sigh - so little time, so much to learn, so many books!!!!