As of last March, I have had an official teenager in my house. I have feared and worried over this for years. After all, the common perception of teenagers is that they are sullen, rebellious and out of control. I have seen a major difference in homeschooled teens. So I was hoping that homeschooling would be our insurance against all of the hormones.

Homeschooling is not a cure-all innoculation. Something strange is happening to my child and I feel helpless to stop it. If his favorite color has been blue for 13 years and I mention that, he adamantly argues that blue was never his favorite color. He gently reminded me that the hair on his head does not belong to me, but to him. So how do I let go, but keep control?

Well, realizing that this teenage task is more than I am ready for, I have found myself doing what I did when the kids were toddlers...I am reading books!!! I HIGHLY recommend "The Age of Opportunity" by Paul David Tripp to anyone who has teenagers or is going to have them one day.

He points out that we are not necessarily living to train them away from those big moments, like teen pregnancy or drug use. Instead, we need to be there as they are making those daily choices and guide them to God centered thinking. He reminded me that I don't own my son or the hair on his head (and neither does my son), but God does and that I need to help my son have right relations more vertically than horizontally. As homeschoolers we do seem to have more time to do this. Yet sometimes, we still let our idols get in the way. Do we want a house full of peace and harmony at any expense, complete control, or do we demand appreciation from our self centered teens? Do we feel that the choices our kids make is a direct reflection on our success as a parent? Have any of these things become our gods? 

This can be a hard pill to swallow if your child has ever disappointed you when they have made poor choices. It is hard to let go of the fact that it is not about YOU. It is about your child's heart. My son is revealing his heart to me every day in his attitude and in his actions. He wants me to see it, too. He is insecure and wants me to point him to the only answer. This is my chance to minister the true gospel of God's grace and His truth, if I will make it about Him. Not me. Not my teenager. Him.

This book is SO much more than this. Read it as soon as possible!!!

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Posted by jugglingpaynes

Nice to hear from you!
The good thing about hair is that no matter what you do to it, it grows back. I'd prefer my daughter get creative with her hair than, say, tattoos or body piercings. ;o)
My daughters have tended to experience their "teen attitudes" while they are preschoolers, so hopefully I'll dodge a bullet there. :os
Did you read my how we met series? Look under the category "incurable romantics."
Peace and Laughter,
Cristina

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Posted by JustGiveMeStarbucks

Sounds like a book I'll have to check out. My oldest has been a teenager for 2 years now, but I still need encouragement, especially since ds #2 became a teen this year, and dd #1 will in 1-1/2 years. My toddler has a ways to go still. ;-)

Just a little encouragement for you: When my 15 year old was younger, he would give me hugs all the time, wanted to be with me, etc. When he became a teen at 13, he kind of pulled away and stopped giving me all the hugs. It broke my heart, it really did. BUT...it was almost like a phase, and when it was over, he was back to giving me those hugs and saying, "I love you, Mom." Those hugs also went through a transformation -- they became big, bear hugs.

My 13 year-old doesn't seem to be going through anything in particular (though we also seem to be dealing with the hair issue). I hope it stays that way! LOL.

Sally

PS: Love your slideshow pictures, by the way. Beautiful photography!

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Posted by Anonymous

Thanks for the book tip. My daughter is almost 11 so I will get a heads up. Your pictures are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!

Take care!! Homeschooling mom of 3 in Silver Spring, MD

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Posted by Leigharev2

This is exactly what my friend needs to hear right now. I will make sure that I get this title to her. Thanks!

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Posted by srostollan

I am so looking forward to my teenager! I have a year yet but I can't wait! I feel like the world has such a tainted view of what each stage of childhood should look like. So far, the world has been wrong in what to expect. I am assuming the world will be wrong in THIS aspect also!

Stephanie@inspired

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Posted by littlebrowngirl

My mom said "Don't worry about teenage years they are fun. Yea, you have your rough spots but it's not anything like people say. Yes, Age of Opportunity is an great book. Enjoy the teens."
-Hannah's mom

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