Oct. 7, 2008
update
A couple weeks ago now, I asked you the question, "Which one would you choose?"
I received a variety of answers, not one more prevalent than another. I've since written and deleted this entry.
Two weeks ago, I wrote a very humble blog about where in life I was at that point that got me from breakdown to peace. I swung open a door that enabled any reader who was able to grasp that briefly available blog, to every cranny of my house. It was a door I chose to open as I allowed fresh air to come in for recirculation and a new wave hover in our house. However, I also chose to quickly shut the door as to not let many more gnats come infiltrate us. So for those who were unable to read that pre-mentioned blog, let me share with you, an overall picture of what happened. Following that, I will in turn dive into the other topics I had discussed writing about in entries to come.
My family and I hit a very difficult time financially. It wasn't just a difficult time, however, it was an impossible time. When we walk by faith, sometimes the numbers just don't add up. In our case, they weren't only adding up, but they were quickly doing negative multiplication. (A negative times a negative in our case, equaled a double negative, and not a positive.) For example, if one month we were behind on payment x, the next month we were not only behind on that payment, but now that payment, plus the same payment for a second month and a payment y. It was quickly becoming a desperate situation which led me to doubt, which led to mental and emotional breakdown.
I sat on the sofa that evening after my husband put the babies to bed and continued to cry...sob. I refused to be put in a situation in which would put my children in jeopardy. We dug a debt hole and we were only burying ourselves in it. My husband returned from the bed-tucking, and sat next to me on the couch. He spoke into my life something I thought was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard...my initial thought, in fact, was that it bordered stupidity.
As he began to share with me how the Lord spoke to him to give a "Faith Pledge" in the offering on Sunday, and how much, I gasped and at that point, was my breaking point. I told him I thought it was stupid, because how could God...?
We continued to discuss this with much tension. Suddenly, my mouth opened and I said, "I can't convince you of logical thinking, and therefore, if you plan on putting in this check, I will put it in for you."
At that instant of faith in God and trust in my husband, as the overseer of our household, I felt an unexplainable peace. It was in that, I had completely relenquished all control. All control given over to the trust of my husband, that he was hearing the Word of God, and I received a peace I couldn't possibly comprehend. A peace that I didn't deserve, nor did I know where it came from. All I DID know, was that I had finally given up trying to control our situation, and I had peace. I didn't say I had joy, for that would come in time, but I did have peace.
I received a variety of answers, not one more prevalent than another. I've since written and deleted this entry.
Two weeks ago, I wrote a very humble blog about where in life I was at that point that got me from breakdown to peace. I swung open a door that enabled any reader who was able to grasp that briefly available blog, to every cranny of my house. It was a door I chose to open as I allowed fresh air to come in for recirculation and a new wave hover in our house. However, I also chose to quickly shut the door as to not let many more gnats come infiltrate us. So for those who were unable to read that pre-mentioned blog, let me share with you, an overall picture of what happened. Following that, I will in turn dive into the other topics I had discussed writing about in entries to come.
My family and I hit a very difficult time financially. It wasn't just a difficult time, however, it was an impossible time. When we walk by faith, sometimes the numbers just don't add up. In our case, they weren't only adding up, but they were quickly doing negative multiplication. (A negative times a negative in our case, equaled a double negative, and not a positive.) For example, if one month we were behind on payment x, the next month we were not only behind on that payment, but now that payment, plus the same payment for a second month and a payment y. It was quickly becoming a desperate situation which led me to doubt, which led to mental and emotional breakdown.
I sat on the sofa that evening after my husband put the babies to bed and continued to cry...sob. I refused to be put in a situation in which would put my children in jeopardy. We dug a debt hole and we were only burying ourselves in it. My husband returned from the bed-tucking, and sat next to me on the couch. He spoke into my life something I thought was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard...my initial thought, in fact, was that it bordered stupidity.
As he began to share with me how the Lord spoke to him to give a "Faith Pledge" in the offering on Sunday, and how much, I gasped and at that point, was my breaking point. I told him I thought it was stupid, because how could God...?
We continued to discuss this with much tension. Suddenly, my mouth opened and I said, "I can't convince you of logical thinking, and therefore, if you plan on putting in this check, I will put it in for you."
At that instant of faith in God and trust in my husband, as the overseer of our household, I felt an unexplainable peace. It was in that, I had completely relenquished all control. All control given over to the trust of my husband, that he was hearing the Word of God, and I received a peace I couldn't possibly comprehend. A peace that I didn't deserve, nor did I know where it came from. All I DID know, was that I had finally given up trying to control our situation, and I had peace. I didn't say I had joy, for that would come in time, but I did have peace.