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Apr. 19, 2006
Finding Sweet Gems on a Wednesday
Today was a fun day.
I enjoyed
the sweet baby girl I care for a few days a week, she just rolled over
today! The kids are on spring break and took the day to play with the
neighbor kids, and I let them go swimming! Brrr... Too cold for me
still, but they spent all day in it.
This afternoon while the
baby was sleeping and the kids were swimming, I had a few quiet,
blissful moments, listening too and singing along with:
Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard, "One Day At a Time"
Loretta Lynn and Patsy Kline, " How Great Though Art"
Charlie Pride "On the Wings of A Dove" (I love this song)
The Carter Family " The Church in The Wildwood"
Johnny Cash and June Carter " Peace In The Valley"
I've said before one of my favorite and prominent childhood memories
was of my dads voice singing or whistling hymns as he worked inside or
outside the house.
So naturally hymns are a favorite of mine. I
learned to play the piano by learning those hymns as some kids learn to
read by reading the bible.
My dad always had a rope swing for
me in a tree somewhere, no matter where we lived. There was always
plenty of trees and plenty of grass growing up.
I'd go out and
swing in those big old trees, so at peace, and humming my own little
songs, and dreaming whistfully of the days I'd be grown, and have a
family of my own.
I was born to be a wife and mother, and nurture a family. It comes as naturally for me as breathing.
I wonder if my husband realizes what a simple country girl he married
:). Pleasures for me, is good food on the table, big warm hearts,
strong hands, and together enjoying the beauty and handiwork of God
that surrounds us.
Paradise this side of heaven as far as I'm concerned.
My husband and I had this ongoing challenge of who was more country.
Here my city slicker Los Angeles born and raised husband would
challenge me, on who was more country as his family was from the back
roads of Louisianna. But I would boast I grew up on farms and was
raised in the country, so of course I was more country!
Well one day he finally got the best of me... The question was what do
you do with left over dried out corn husk? I was clueless, but the
realization of the answer struck me once I read the expression on his
face:) He had me. So my city slicker won the admiration of a simple
country girl, for a man who knows a thing or two about back woods livin
;)
I've thought about pursuing homesteading here in the city.
An urban homesteader. You can create what ever kind of life you want
for yourselves and your family behind your own doors right? I can make
soap, grow vegetables in containers. It's possible.
But don't know how country my husband REALLY
is ;) Not sure how'd he'd feel about having a worm bin under the
kitchen sink, and pole beans canvassing the in ground pool that takes
up the whole back yard :), so I am not too ambitious in pursing those
dreams here in the city, I just strive to bring some of the simple day
to day things that are reminders of my upbringing, and the inheritance
of my youth into everyday living.
I could just do what I
wanted, but though he's not here, he is in my heart, so I go on living
and making decisions that honor him as best I can.
I get up when he
gets up, it make me feel closer to him. Thats not a small matter
considering he gets up at 4am everyday! But I look forward to it, as I
know when his eyes open, so are mine. My last thought before I sleep is
with him, and the first thought when I awake is of him, and the first
words spoken each day is for
him. Lifting him in prayer, asking the Lord to watch over him, and to
bless him. To hold him close in the shelter of His wings, to guide, and
lead, protect and strengthen, no matter where the road may take
him that day.
Before, I did things for him, though not
enough. But I did love him the best I new how at the time. I have
to admit though... some of my doing was to get something. Love. Recognition. Need.
Now I've realized my doing for him is doing it as doing it unto the
Lord.. It makes my loving him and helping him, and honoring him so much
more meaningful, and important.
I dont want it to be because of getting something back, but fulfilling a calling, a love, a purpose.
I messed up the other day. I served, and loved, but became hurt and
wounded because I wasn't loved back, recognized or wanted. I let it
steal my joy. I believed a lie, that I must be loved back, in order to
have joy in loving and serving.
The song Peace In The Valley talks
about when night can shine like day. That is what I'm striving
for. Though it is night, in the chambers of my heart, it is like
day. Thats the promise I am embracing and pursuing.
I
know he's not here to see the efforts, or to appreciate these little
things, maybe he never will, and thats ok. But God knows, and I
know he is pleased that I love and care for one of his sons. The one he
gave me to love.
He gave this simple, overly
sensitive, plain country girl, a reserved, controlled, city slicker
boy, to honor, to cherish, to be a helpmeet to and companion. How in
the world our worlds collided is amazing in itself. But I stand amazed,
and honored and oh so blessed to be called to love this man. May
God continue to teach, enable, and make me a worthy, and perfect
helpmeet for him. No matter where he is.
Today was a good day. A fine day:)
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Apr. 20, 2006 - Open my Eyes Lord, Open my Heart