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Apr. 25, 2006
The Abundance of My Heart, The Evidence of His Grace
Taken from my journal dating March 1999:
Tia Noel
born March 5th, a Friday, 1999 at 7:08 am.
weighing 7lbs. 9oz. and 18 inches long.
Thank you Lord for the gift of my new daughter.
The pregnancy wasn't
easy; morning sickness throughout the day, up until my fourth month. A
weight gain of sixty pounds and anxiety about our future.
But I give thanks to my
Creator and Sustainer for the blessing of being able to concieve, carry
and deliver five healthy children into this world.
The four other
kids showed longsuffering and patience to me during this time, and even
now with the bussiness and time consuming task of caring for an infant.
I love them so much.
So many times I've thought if I could only
make time stand still, to cherish those special moments that I've had
with my children a little while longer.Theres so many things; wonderful
things, that I want to remember about them.
My heart is a treasure box continuously being filled with memories of them.
That first touch of their warm wet slippery bodies when placed into my
arms. The heat their bodies gave off from the warmth they recieved
while in my womb, under my heart.
I breathe deeply their newborn
smell, am awed at the unmeasureable amount of love and tenderness that
flows from my heart and soul with every look, every touch, and every
smell.
My eyes see the miracle that you are. Branded in my memory
is your eyes and how bright they are. The rasberry color of your sweet
little lips. The rise and fall of your tiny chest.
In all of my senses are countless memories of each one of you.
May 1st, 1999
It's a quiet morning, Tia is still sleeping. The other kids are with their dad for the weekend.
I'm thinking about each one of the kids and how I want to so much give
them a good and happy home. I worry alot about being able to give them
that. Mostly it's just when I'm tired or anxious about finances.
Other times I'm optimistic and hopeful about our future. I try to stay
focused on the truth: I have a heavenly father who loves me and wants
the best for me and my children.
Since we've been in Texas my
prayer is asking for God's best for us. In that lies my hope. I want to
be a better witness to those around me by the way I live my life.
I'm beginning to live by the convictions of my own heart and conscience
according to the Word of God.. It is hard for me to stay focused on
this because it seems right now I am so easily distracted by others and
circumstances. My prayer is for my heart and mind to be filled with
only God's intent, and to stand firm.
Tia is evidence of grace and mercy. God loves me, and reminds me of that, everytime I look at her.
With her arrival, all that I feel as a mother has surfaced anew. The
joy I feel has been stirred up inside me. This is who I am. The essence
of who I am is wrapped up within each of my children.
Birthing them, loving them, is a piece of heaven on earth for me.
Gifts that are such miracles. Thats what they are. I cherish each and every one of them.
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Apr. 26, 2006 - Beautiful mom and daughter