It's been a year since we lost Samuel, and we were expecting to have a new little one this December; but she went home to be with the Lord after only being in my womb for five months. 

For some reason many people think if you have a large family, somehow these lost babies aren't as significant because you're already so blessed. But I want to tell you, your child, each child, is different, is unique, had its purpose and place in everyones heart  no matter how short the time. This is also a good time to dispel the idea that they are just globs of tissue... and don't really count. We lost Samuel at 16 weeks. Perfectly formed. Amelia just shy of 20 weeks.  Perfect. Fingers toes, a body that looked just like their daddy's and sister Bella. These babies are just that. Babies. Magnificently made. Family. Yours. Ours.

When someone asks me how many children I have I hesitate. Of course they see six, but I see 12. How do you answer such a question? For me I want to say I am the mother of 12, and proudly so.  But I know how awkward it is for others, and out of consideration for them I reply "6". 

From conception I have prayed for my children to be happy, healthy, and beautiful. to know the Lord, to love him and serve him all their days, and I pray for the Lord to bring them and bless them with a godly spouse who will always be a blessing to them.

Someday,I will stand in heaven with 12 beautiful children.

Until then, I want to take today to honor the life of my daughter Amelia Jane Lyles.