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I'm down to 183!! Praise God!! My starting weight was 190. It is sooo exciting to see this working!! It's totally God! I'm also loving the fasting in spite of the suffering it entails. Or is it because of the suffering? It has brought a whole new dimension to my relationship with Jesus! I plan to continue regular fasting even after I finish this program.

Friends tell me that they find it hard to believe that I'm obese. But according to the charts and my height I am. I am praising God for showing me this program at the perfect time in my life to be able to accept the truths it is teaching me.

In The Lord's Table the lessons have been about repentance and what exactly that means. I can't believe I actually responded this way to one of the questions:

6. Are you escaping the trap? If so, do you see that God has granted you repentance? Explain a little about this repentance. Do you have it? If so, are you enjoying it? If not, will you seek God for it?
I haven't felt that mornful repentence for the way I've sinned with food yet. I will pray for it. I guess I'm feeling like I'm already experiencing victory over this. And to be bluntly honest, I don't feel that what I've dealt with was as bad as all that. I mean I didn't do many of the things described here. Didn't go from pizza place to icecream place to mexican place looking for comfort. Didn't plan my days around food. Yes there were many times when I wanted chocolate in the evening after the kids were in bed and I'd had a difficult day. Yes, I would continue to eat food I was enjoying long after I was already full. I'm not trying to minimize my sin, just saying that I don't think I was as devoted to food as all that. I do have the desire to turn completely away from the sin of overeating. And also not saying that I don't appreciate the lessons here. They have been sooo very encouraging to me!

I now realize that I was comparing myself to others rather than using God's standard as my guide. This is what I wrote the next day:

7. What are some ways you have minimized the sin of overeating in the past? Are you seeing the habit of overeating in a different light now?
I've read those passages on gluttony and knew that it is a sin. I was reluctant to call myself a glutton though. It is easy to compare my sin to that of others and say, "But I'm not as bad as that person". I did that just the other day in fact in one of my posts. I'm seeing again though that I need to be comparing myself to God's standard. Based on that, I'm just as bad as the worst glutton or worst murderer who ever lived. Ouch! That is a painful thing to admit!

I'm so glad that God didn't let me say in that place of Pharasaical self-righteousness!! What a dangerous place to be!

Here are my verses for today, I pray that they bless you as they did me!

Isaiah 33:² O LORD, be gracious to us;
       we long for you.
       Be our strength every morning,
       our salvation in time of distress.

    ³ At the thunder of your voice, the peoples flee;
       when you rise up, the nations scatter.

    ⁴ Your plunder, O nations, is harvested as by young locusts;
       like a swarm of locusts men pounce on it.

    ⁵ The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high;
       he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness.

    ⁶ He will be the sure foundation for your times,
       a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge;
       the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.