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Isaiah 5:3-5 "And now, O inhabitants of Jerusalem and men of Judah, Judge, please, between Me and My vineyard. What more could have been done to My vineyard that I have not done in it? Why when I expected it to bring forth good grapes, did it bring forth wild grapes? And now, please let Me tell you what I will do to My vineyard: I will take away its hedge, and it shall be burned; and break down its wall, and it shall be trampled down." Lord, I praise You that You love each one of us soooo much that You have done every thing You could to bring us to Yourself! Thank You for the walls and boundaries You have put up around me! May I never become a wild grape! Help me to always be a good grape for You!! Amen!

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"Modern inventions have provided a way for a woman to stay at home and still not be a keeper at home. We can sit at home in body while traveling in spirit by means of the telephone and the computer...
'Keeping the home' is more than staying at home; it is having a heart that is fixed on the home. A help meet will be in engaged in creative enterprises that challenge and inspire the children. She will guard the home against outside influences, and she will always be on the watch to protect the children from their own inventions of evil. She will not be idle and neither will her children. She will ease her husband's load by painting the hall and cutting the grass. She will be frugal in all her endeavors, and she will teach the children to love serving Daddy. She will keep the home so that when Daddy comes home, it is to a sanctuary of peace, love, and order.
A real help meet will make herself useful to her man instead of wasting her time."

I had to take a step back and look at how I have been spending my time. I have two friends whom I love to chat with via IM. One of these friends moved out of state a few years ago so this is the easiest way to stay in touch with her. That wouldn't be a problem if I didn't spend so much time also going between e-mail, face book and my blog. I end up spending the greater part of the afternoon on my laptop most days. I justify this by telling myself that I'm still watching my kids, (but am I? I mean REALLY?). Also only the most basic of housework gets done. I don't seem to "find" the time to spend in God's Word, unless I do it right before I go to bed at night.

This has not been fun seeing all this in myself, but I am sooooo thankful that my God loves me enough to call me on the carpet for this! In the future I will be spending far less time on the computer during the day! Oh, btw, when I shared with my husband how God is dealing with me on this, he told me that my computer usage time has been bothering him for some time now. He wasn't sure how to bring it up to me without me getting upset and defensive. It is so wonderful that God can/will step in and take over where my husband fears to tread!

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I am in Leviticus. You know the book that talks about all the regulations for the Israelites sacrifices, celebrations, etc. Today I read about how Peace Offerings were to be presented. These kind of passages are difficult for me to find application for my life today in. Toward the end of the chapter, I read, "Remember, all the fat belongs to the Lord. You must never eat any fat or blood." I couldn't wonder what the spiritual application of this is. So I started asking the Lord.

I wondered, what can Fat represent? For instance, Oil represents the Holy Spirit in the scriptures. Does anyone know what Fat represents in the scriptures? In the meantime, the thought that came to me is that fat could represent plenty. So the application would be that God wants us in our times of plenty as well as in our times of need.

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I was doing my devotions this morning and my book lead me to read Psalm 131. I read the New King James Version. It reads like this:    "1. Lord, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty, Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me. 2. Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me.  3. O Israel, hope in the Lord From this time forth and forever."

What jumped out at me from this text is where in verse 2 it doesn't say "You have calmed and quieted my soul." It says, "I have calmed and quieted my soul." That means that it is my responsibility to calm my own soul.

I love the word picture David uses to show how we calm our souls. As mothers we can most of us totally relate to this picture. The rest of us can look back to when we were children to get our minds around this concept.

So how does one actually calm their soul in the midst of the chaos of homeschooling?? I can tell you it is not easy! Even since I read this verse this morning and as I was writing this blog, my son (who has asperger's and ADHD) was having a meltdown. If you have never seen an aspie child have a meltdown just know that it is more than just a simple tantrum. In my home what it looks like is an inconsolable child screaming for a minimum of 5 minutes at the top of their lungs. Efforts to try to help this child get control are in vain. You can threaten and even spank, (this only makes matters worse), you can hold and try to comfort them, you can ignore them; nothing seems to work until somehow the child suddenly is over it. Add to this picture my older son having an attitude this morning and taking that attitude out on his brother and sister.

It would be easy for me to conclude that it is impossible for me to "calm my soul" in the midst of all this. This was all just during breakfast! However, God's Word says that nothing is impossible with Him. So I make the effort toward keeping my soul calm and He does the rest! When I feel my ire starting to rise, I need to take a deep breath and remember this verse.

We somehow got through breakfast, well the kids have eaten I have yet to. My older son just cleaned off and washed the table without even being asked to. I think he is planning to host a Bible study for his brother and sister. Hmmm, I hope his attitude has changed for the better! I am not all uptight and upset even after the big scene during breakfast. Praise God! This is huge progress for me!!!

Lord, please help me to apply this verse throughout my day and from now on! Thank you for showing me that I need to calm my soul. I pray that this posting will be an encouragement to others who struggle with this as well. Amen

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So I was doing my devotions this morning. I was reading in 1 Chronicles 29. This is King David's last public prayer. Read what he said, "Blessed are You, Lord God of Israel, our Father, forever and ever. Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, And You are exalted as head over all. Both riches and honor come from You, And You reign over all. In Your hand is power and might; In Your hand it is to make great And to give strength to all. Now therefore, our God, We thank You And praise Your glorious name. But who am I, and who are my people, That we should be able to offer so willingly as this? For all things come from You, And of Your own we have given You. For we are aliens and pilgrims before You, As were all our fathers; Our days on earth are as a shadow, And without hope. O Lord our God, all this abundance that we have prepared to build You a house for Your holy name is from Your hand, and is all Your own." 1 Chronicles 29:10-16.

Did you notice how many times David says things like, " Both riches and honor come from You, And You reign over all." and "of Your own we have given You"? So I couldn't help wondering in my spirit, if everything belongs to God, then why does He allow us to deal so much with money issues? Why doesn't He just give us all we need without all the struggle? The next verse made clear at least part of the reason, "I know also, my God, that You test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness." 1 Chronicles 29:17.

Then the Lord brought to mind something that our Pastor pointed out a few Sundays ago. After the 'Fall' God cursed the earth for our sake. Read, Genesis 3:17, "Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life". Our minds at first take have a hard time understanding how this could be a blessing to us. That is until we remember that as children of God, this world is not our home. If it wasn't for the curse, we would not be looking so forward to our permanent home in heaven!

So God wants to test our hearts, not so He can find out what is there, He already knows! But so that He can show us what is there! He also wants us to not become comfortable here in this world but to be looking forward to eternity with Him! With this in mind we can say, "Thank you, God for all the financial struggles and for the curse on this world!" Amen???

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I found a couple of devotionals at Sam's Club this past weekend. The first is "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer and the other is "Managing Your Moods" and is part of the Women of Faith Study Guide Series. I decided to dive in to the Battlefield one first.

Wow! I have a feeling that if I am able to put into practice what she is saying, this will be life changing for me! The edition I got is a 3-in-1 collection and includes excerpts from her book, devotions and a study guide.

Her premise based on scripture is that our enemy defeats us by putting deceptive thoughts into our minds. He is sneaky and clever about this. Usually we don't even realize that these thoughts are lies. He bombards us with these thoughts until he has set up a stronghold in our minds. According to Joyce, "A stronghold is an area in which we are held in bondage (in prison) due to a certain way of thinking."

She tells a parable about a couple who have a marriage in crisis to illustrate her point. One quote that jumped off the page at me was, "Mary can't control her actions because she doesn't control her thoughts." Oh, ouch!!! That really hits home!!!! It goes on to say, "She doesn't control her thoughts because there are strongholds in her mind that the devil set up early in her life."

I have long known that I have a problem with habitually responding to my children's disobedience with yelling and anger. I am now convinced that this is a result of a stronghold in my mind. The great news is that I don't have to continue with this stronghold! I can tear it down with God's help!

My weapons are God's Word, true heart Praise to God and prayer. You need to get this book and read it to see how to wield these weapons!

1 Corinthians 10:13 promises that God will always provide a way of escape from our temptations. After doing this study and reading the devotion this morning I was asking God to show me the way of escape when I am tempted to respond in anger when my children disobey. The answer came back almost immediately! My way of escape in that situation is the "spanky", (aka loving Biblical discipline)!!!

I felt like smacking my forehead! I know this, but I so often fail to do it! I must also share here that part of the pattern of thinking which has lead to this stronghold in my mind has to do with J's ADHD and Aspergers. I try not to let that be an excuse not to spank him when it is necessary, but I think I have let myself believe lies such as, "He can't help his behavior." and "He needs understanding." While it is true to a certain extent that J needs understanding and struggles with his behavior, what he really needs is a mother who is consistent with administering Godly discipline!

Other lies I have believed are "I am just to busy to break away and deal with this right now." and "I will just deal with this attitude later." Goodness! I sure have been duped! I pray that now that I recognize these lies, I will no longer fall for them!

I will leave you with these words of wisdom from 7 year old B to 6 year old J. "When you are starting to get angry, just be confident and calm down and do what the person is telling you to do. Unless it is a stranger telling you to jump off a cliff or go all the way to China!"

I have a couple of things I want to share this morning. The first is something I was thinking about the other night. I was rehearsing and bemoaning all the things that I have had to deal with all my life, such as allergies, insomnia, etc. Boohoo! Poor me!!!  Then the thought occured to me that probably everyone has at least something that they have had to put up with all their lives! Some more than others! If it is not a health issue then it is probably something else. That put a quick stop to my little pitty party!

The other thing I wanted to share is what I was learning during my quiet time this morning. This morning I switched back to using "The Heart of Anger ~ Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children" by Lou Priolo. I also use the workbook that goes with it, by Lou Priolo and Amy Baker.  One of the things that keeps hitting me as I do this study is that one of the major contributors to anger in children is their parents lack of control!! OUCH!

This morning I was reading the section titled: "Scolding". Priolo quotes Ephesians 4:29 "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such (a word) as is good for edification according to the need (of the moment), that it may give grace to those who hear." and also, Mark 14:3-5, which I will not type out here. You can look it up.

Priolo give us the Greek background for the term scolding. It means "to snort with anger". They used it to describe the snorting of horses!

Then he cites H. Clay Trumbull, whom many call the founder of Sunday School, from his book "Hints on Child Training". Here is the part that really spoke to me, "Scolding is always an expression of a bad spirit and of a loss of temper...the essence of the scolding is in the multiplication of hot words in expression of strong feelings that, while eminently natural, ought to be held in better control.

If a child has done wrong, a child needs talking to; but no parent ought to talk to a child while that parent is unable to talk in a natural tone of voice, and with carefully measured words. If the parent is tempted to speak rapidly, or to multiply words without stopping to weigh them, or to show an excited state of feeling, the parent's first duty is to gain entire self-control. Until that control is secured, there is no use of the parent's trying to attempt any measure of child training.The loss of self-control is for the time being an utter loss of power for the control of others.

In giving commands or in giving censure to a child, the fewer and the more calmly spoken words the better." (imphasis mine)

Talk about a 2 X 2 to my head!!! Ouch! Rubbing the lump on my head!It sometimes seems that "loss of self-control" has become my natural tone.

Lord, help me!!! I have got to break out of that habit of scolding my children! Holy Spirit, please show me when I am doing this and give me supernatural strength to stop it in its tracks! Please prepare my heart for tomorrow's lesson which deals with "Being Inconsistent with Discipline"! I know this is another biggie for me! Lord, I want to raise these children Your way! Please help me to get over myself so I can do that. In Jesus' name, Amen!

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I just finished having to deal with my youngest son, J. Yesterday, daddy bought M, my little artist, a new set of colored pencils. The reason that M was allowed to have new pencils is because his younger brother (and probably sister too), had lost almost all of his other ones. M has been showing himself to be responsible in a number of areas, so we decided to grant his request for a new set of pencils.

The problem came when, this morning J decided that he should be allowed to use M's new pencils. I told him, "No" and tried to explain to him the reasons why I as denying him. He didn't even want to understand. He tried his 'whining and fussing to bully mommy' tactic. I finally had to take him in and spank his bottom. After that, I told him, again, that when he is able to show me that he can take care of the crayons and pencils that he does have available to him, then I will consider getting him a new set of his own. I realized as I was explaining this to him that this is an entirely Biblical precept based on Luke 16:10. (Which I just had to look up!) "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

It is true that as a child with ADHD, J has a very difficult time with organizational skills such as keeping things together and not loosing them. However, I am through with allowing his disability to make excuses for him. No matter what his disability, he still needs to learn these skills even though it may be more difficult for him. Beyond that, he must be held to Biblical standards.

The other issue at hand here, which I had to deal with again even as I was attempting to write this post, is his refusal to submit to mommy's authority. His brother was playing a game on the Wii and J decided that he wanted to play it instead. I told him, "No, your brother is playing it at this time, you may play it later." He started up the whining and fussing all over again, so we ended up marching back in for another spanking.

I sure wish there was an easier way to deal with this child, but this seems to be the only way to get through to him.   I am seeing a much more obedient and submissive child right now. And I might add a happier child!

I have finally realized something that everyone else who knows my family, especially my husband, has probably seen for years and maybe even tried to tell me in one way or another. My youngest son has severe ADHD. Dealing with him has been one of the major struggles in my life.

What I am finally realizing, is that he has been using tantrums and screaming fits to bully me for years now. I told myself that I didn't make excuses for his ADHD, but in reality I was letting him use it against me. I feel like an area of my life that I have been blind to has suddenly been illuminated. I am asking God to continue to reveal to me when J is using this tactic against me.

While he does have issues with being able to focus on the task at hand and is extremly impulsive, that does not give him excuse to disobey or to refuse do what he is told. I have always known that he has a rebellious streak. However, I always believed that this rebellion was connected somehow to his disorder.

Now I am seeing that it is indeed part of his disorder, but not the ADHD! It is part of his human disorder which we all have as a result of the fall! It is a manipulation tactic that he has been using with great success up till now to bully me. Praise God for showing this to me!

I feel certain that this new insight is directly connected to my willingness to obey the Lord in getting up earlier to spend time with Him. If you are unsure of what I am referring to please read my earlier post about "A very convicting message". Because I myself was not being obedient to the Lord, He was unable until now, to reveal this truth to my heart. I am so thankful that I finally submitted in this even though it takes a painful "dieing to self". I look forward to what other truths God is going to reveal to me as I continue to submit to Him and His ways.

Please pray for J and me as we adjust to the new hierarchy of mommy truely being in control! I am already beginning to see a child who is less aggitated and seems more relaxed and happy. Even more, I am seeing a mommy who is less stressed and less likely to raise my voice in anger. Praise God!!!!!

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Please forgive the crazy colors in this post. I can't seem to get them all to change to the color I want.

Our pastor preached this weekend from the book of Malichi. It was a very convicting message which is great! At the end of the message he gave an invitation to all believers who felt that the Lord was speaking to them about any particular sin, to come forward and confess it to a prayer counselor. I was sitting there praying and asking the Lord if I should go up and speak to a prayer counselor. I knew in my heart that I have been giving God the left-overs of my time, if I even manage to give Him any! Not that I haven't been in the Word, but it hasn't been true fellowship. So I asked God to let me know if I should go up or not. Next thing I knew, our pastor said almost “word-for-word” what I had prayed about. I thought to myself, “Well, I guess that is a pretty clear confirmation!” 

I have not always struggled with spending time with God. It seems that I tend to go in cycles with this. Of course, daylight savings hasn’t helped at all either! My struggle has been and continues to be dragging myself out of bed. You can read about that in my blog titled, "Why is it so hard to get up in the morning?"

Another struggle has been that it never seems to fail that when I finally do manage to get up for quiet time, my kids hear that I am up and want my attention.

While I was in the church bookstore after service this weekend, I saw a booklet our pastor wrote called, “Spending Time with God”. I felt the Spirit telling me that I could use a refresher on this, so I bought it. As I was reading it, I came up to a section in which he was discussing the importance of keeping other things from crowding out our time with God.

The Lord really spoke to my heart when I read, "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon, and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: 'Everyone is looking for you!'" Mark 1:35-37. Here are some of the things He said to me:

·        My husband, children and home are my “ministry”, with other areas of ministry He has given me added on.

·        Jesus had to get up very early in the morning, while it was still dark in order to avoid being bombarded by the masses while having His time alone with His Father. (Ouch!!! “Lord, do I really have to????”)

·        When they did come and interrupt Him, He did not complain or get angry or even frustrated with them. He simply said, “Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth.” Mark 1:38. In other words He got right to the business of ministry.

So, I guess, based on those things that He told me:

1.  I need to start getting up earlier so that my kids don’t bombard me.
2. I also need to give them a set time when they are allowed to get up and enforce it.
3. However, if my time should run long and they do need to interrupt me, I need to be like Jesus and jump right into the business of ministering to my children without my usual frustration.

There just is no easy way to die to self is there??? I did manage to get up this morning very early, while it was still dark. Please pray that I will be able to stay consistent in doing this.

My husband and I did some house cleaning last night after the kids were in bed. Not the usual kind of house cleaning though. The Lord had brought it to our attention that we had allowed some things into our home that were not honoring to Him.

I had been feeling uncomfortable about several things for a while now. One of them being our little corner neighbor girl, who our kids have made friends with. She is a bit older than our kids and as far as I can tell is not being raised in a Christian home. My children often go out to the corner of our back fence to visit with her. I have not been thrilled with the influence that she has been having on them. I was praying about it the other day and found myself asking God to, "Please protect my children from any unGodly influence." The answer that was shot right back at me was, "No, that is YOUR job." OUCH!

In the meantime, the Lord had been speaking to my hubby about his video game habits. Now these particular games are not necessarily evil. There are those who would probably have no problem with them in the least. However, we were not comfortable with the spiritual conotations contained in them. My hubby had been struggling with knowing that he needed to deal with this and his desire to continue to enjoy them. After all, sin is fun for a season! But the end result is ALWAYS death!!!

My hubby is not the only one who had a struggle with sin. I was having my own struggle. I share this because maybe it can be a help to some other woman out there who struggles with the thought life. My struggle centers around an old boyfriend who I was madly in love with, before I ever met my husband. In fact, I idolized him! It took my Godly Aunt to point this out to me. I have told my hubby about him and the struggles that I have had to get him out of my thoughts. The problem is that my past sin of idolizing this person opened up a foothold for the enemy to use against me. Even though I have confessed this sin and repented of it, both to my husband and most importantly to the Lord, this man keeps popping up in my dreams at night. Then in the morning when I wake up it is very difficult to purge those thoughts from my mind again. I hesitated to share this again with my husband fearing that he would be hurt by it or think that it means that I don't love him. That couldn't be further from the truth. I finally got up the nerve to share this with him last night and it turned out to be fine. I feel that if you struggle with this sort of sin, it is emparitive that you not only confess it to God but also confess it to your husband! I tried for years in our early marriage to hold this in, fearing to hurt my husband's feelings. It ate at me. It wasn't until I finally shared it with my husband that I was finally able to start getting some victory over this sin.
   
    I had been listening to tapes of my Pastor's wife teaching on the book of Ezekiel. She is a very gifted teacher. We were studying that one of the things that God had to really come down hard on the Israelites for, was their practice of sacrificing their own children to false gods (they literally had them burned to death!) and then, the very same day, going to worship the only true God in His sanctuary!!! This was brought to my mind Sunday morning while I was in worship! I was forced to ask myself, "What ugliness am I bringing into the sanctuary with me???" It was very humbling!!!

Another thing that the Lord had spoken to us about is what we have been allowing in through the TV. We had a while back gotten a Family Package through Dish TV. It has opened up all sorts of new viewing choices for my children and made it more difficult for us to keep a handle on what they are watching. As a result compromises have been made.

At one of our church's Christmas Services, Sunday morning, there were several people who got up and gave short testamonies of how Salvation through Jesus Christ has been the greatest gift they ever received. One of those people was a young woman who shared that she had been raised in a Christain home. She told how TV and other things had influenced her to sinful attitudes. What she said really impacted me!

Then a little later that day, my kids were watching "The Smurfs", one of the compromises we had made. I have not been comfortable with this show at all! However, when I saw the villan draw a circle of fire around himself and his captives and then start to say an incantation, I told my kids that it was to be turned off immediately!!! There are so many of these shows that are nothing more than pure evil disguised as innocence!

So, my hubby and I talked all these things over last night. We made some decisions to "pluck some eyes out," and "cut some hands off!" My hubby is going to discontinue the Dish TV. He also gathered up the "offensive" video games and the books that go with them. He was going to sell them but felt the Lord leading him to throw them out instead. So he took them to work to dispose of them in the dumpster there. We also spent time in prayer together confessing our sin of allowing this stuff in and asking the Lord's forgiveness. We asked God to continue to show us if there is anything else in our home and lives that is not honoring to Him.

We also asked for guidance concerning the kid's little corner friend. We are not at all sure how to handle this one. We talked about simply limiting the access our children have to her. But then we also talked about allowing her into our home so that we can monitor what happens between her and our children. Hopefully, we can also have a Godly influence on her as well. We are awaiting God's leading on this one.

In the meantime, please pray for us! The enemy is not at all happy with these developments! I am certain that we are going to be under attack as a result! My hubby and I are in complete agreement that we want nothing to be ashamed of before God when we some day meet Him face to face! We also want to be sure that we are being the example that we need to be to our children. We so desire for them to grow up in God's love and in service to Him!

I was laying in bed this morning, knowing that I needed to get up. If I didn't get up soon, my chance to have quiet time with the Lord would be lost in the chaos of homeschooling 2 children while dealing with a severly ADHD 5 year old! Yet, I was so very comfortable. You know, the kind of comfortable that only comes first thing in the morning when you know you have to get up. Once again, the oft asked question sprang to my mind, "Why is it so hard to get up in the morning?" All of a sudden the answer came to me. It is a daily test from the Lord. In essence, He is asking the believer, "Are you willing today, to deny yourself and choose Me??" God, in His grace and mercy, knowing our nature and propensity to fail, asks us this question fresh every morning. Did you fail yesterday? This is a new day. Will you deny yourself today? Was yesterday a wonderful day, in which you were obedient to the Lord's every command? This is a new day. Will you deny yourself today? Thank you, Lord!