A few weeks ago a family in out church found out their 13 month old daughter had a brain tumor. We know the family fairly well since we've been in the same small group for almost a year. The tumor was a quarter of the size of her brain. They operated on it and removed all of it. But, she has been in a coma since the operation and there is no medical reason the doctors can see that she is in the coma. She looks like she is just sleeping, like you could shake her and she would open her eyes and smile and all would be right with the world. That hasn't happened yet and she has been dealing with infections from the surgery and the toll the tumor has taken on her. She is deep in the woods still.

A normal first reaction is to get angry. Why this little girl? She hasn't lived long enough to make any mistakes. She hasn't eaten a poor diet. She hasn't experienced so many things. Why her? It just isn't fair, is it. Why does her mother have to sit by her hospital bed day in and day out and wonder if she's going to come home. If she does come home will she be bedridden until her death? Will she be brain damaged? How long? How can God let this happen?

I don't know the answer. The question is inevitable because God is supposed to be in control of everything. If He's a loving God, how can He allow such misery, such sadness, such loss? I don't know how He does it. The only answer I have is that He is a loving God even when we can't see that love. Little Cali's life rests in the palm of His hand whether I agree with what He is doing or not. My life rests in the same loving palm. I have to remind myself that He sees the picture of this life in the biggest possible terms. He sees all sorts of things that I could never see. He has a reason. And it might make me mad, pound my fists into my pillow before I go to sleep. But, in the end I know that He will work all things together for the good to those who are the called, to those who love Him. That doesn't mean that everything that happens will be good. It means that He weaves the good and bad into something that He calls good.

What is happening with my dear friends, the Moody family, is not good. It isn't good no matter how you twist and turn it and try to make it shine. That dog won't hunt. I am praying that God will take this awful thing and work it out so that He can call it good. And I know He will.

I know that because He has never failed me yet, and there have been lots of times when He could have walked away from me. Things happen to me every day that are not good but I want Him to have so much influence in my life that those things that are bad, awful, embarassing can be made good in His eyes.

I pray that God would be glorified through Cali's illness. If I didn't know that God is still in control, there would be no reason for hope in this situation. But He is and He will move. I don't know how He will heal Cali. He may choose to heal her completely and in a few years this will only be a very bad memory. He may choose to heal her ultimately and bring her home to Himself. He may do something in between those two choices. He loves us more than we can understand.

So, please pray for a miracle for Cali and her mom and dad, Chad and Sarah, and big sister Bella. If you think God is capricious, a big, bad boogey man who moves us around like pieces on a chess board, I challenge you to test Him. Ask him for a miracle and see what He does. He's a big God and He can handle doubts and skepticism. I can't wait to share what He's done, to praise the work of His hands.

The chorus of one of my favorite songs I sang at Grace the Church on the Mount in NJ is this:

Praise God, on high, all that's wrong will be made right. How we long for the day every wounded soul would be made whole. So let's worship Him with a mighty voice. Like we're already with Him in paradise. Praise God on high. praise God.

I hope to write again soon.

Joyfully,

Elyse