Happy Thanksgiving to all. Again, it's been a month since I've sent an update. I am a bad blogger! LOL
An update:
I have been extraordinarily tired for almost three weeks now. After about two hours of sitting up and trying to do something, anything, I run (as well as I can) back to bed, hardly able to hold my eyelids in the open position. I am also experiencing the type of headaches I was having when I was diagnosed, but they are centered behind my left ear. It goes away when I lay down or if I take some Tylenol. So, is this good or bad news? I don't know. I have another MRI scheduled for December 16th. I hope to get a better picture then.
It's been four months since this challenge began. It feels like a long time to me but, when put in perspective, it isn't all that long when you look at it with eternity in view.
Dh and I are at a crossorads as we look to the future. I need Dh home with me just about all the time to help look after our children. And since my prognosis is nothing if not unpredictable, we need flexibility in his job. I feel God's hand in this situation and I know that He will lead us to the right place. I would like to know right now what is coming down the pike but I have to keep reminding myself that He will open the door for us. I am praying that God will give us the grace to walk through that open door at the right time.
We are homeschooling in fits and starts. I have been sleeping much of my days these past three weeks. My two older children have taken to bringing their books to the bedroom and doing their learning on my bed. I feel as if we aren't doing enough and, like many moms, I fret about their success in the future.
I feel my biggest battle right now is psychological. I am tired of dealing with this tumor problem. It shackles my energy and keeps me tied to my house and even my bedroom. I am one who loves surprises but I can't wait to find out what they are. I would love to know where this is going so I can plan my part. But God doesn't reveal anything until we are ready to accept it, and when it is time. It just isn't time. So, I'll continue to fight against my frustration and look for ways to be about my Father's business in my home.
I am not feeling profound so I will sign off here. I am planning another update after my next MRI reading on December 19th.
Joyfully,
Elyse | 
Posted by 
Nov. 29, 2005 - nothing really
i read your blog and wanted to reply before next week as we go away for a month to visit with my mom and won't be back until january 3rd.
my heart ached when i read your passage. to be strong all of the time is just not possible, but to be faith-full is, and you have faith to spare :-)
your honesty is wonderful and refreshing in a cynical and often fake world, but i know you must be scared by what is happening; why the headaches and the tirednes again.
one thing that helps me sometimes is to write a list of truths........i know you are tired, so if you don't mind i will write one for you (the best i can)
- the truth is that you are near your family and they will always help you when you need it as best they can. pride may have to take a back seat at the moment as you accept every ounce of help that you are offered.
- the truth is that this is a tremendous test of your marriage and to expect it to go smoothly is not realistic.
- the truth is you have always embraced your children with honesty, imagination and creativity and strength - by including them in this journey you are helping each other to cope. a child is a powerful medicine.
- the truth is your children and husband are probably scared to death of what is happening to you.
- the truth is you are doing everything you can for you and your family at the moment. to continue trying to maintain a household and homeschool your children thoughout this is more than admirable!!
- the truth is you have been through a lot; maybe your body needs to heal, and sleep is the best way it knows.
- the truth is its ok to be scared.
- the truth is your last test came back with good results. it is possible that the tumor is shrinking but may take a while to show up.
- the truth is you are so loved. you are in our hearts (and god's heart) constantly - every minute of every day.
i will be thinking of you on december 16th.
with love
wendy