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Jan. 29, 2009
On Line for the Roller Coaster
| Hi,
I was going to title my entry "On the Great Roller Coaster Ride" but then I thought it overkill. Too melodramatic. So, I am just waiting to see if there is a seat waiting for me on the roller coaster.
I went to the tumor center yesterday for an appointment with the neurologist. I have a preliminary report on the unwanted brain-guest but he was going to delve a bit further with me. Dr. V. said the tumor is stable. It has not grown. It has not shrunk. He noticed some swelling and maybe some flares which indicate cell activity. But, he said he was looking hard for it since I was having symptoms (headaches that won't go away), he thinks something is happening that is too small to see on the MRI. He compared the most recent scan with one over two years ago and said there is marked improvement. He called the 2006 scan "really ugly".
He suggested I start chemotherapy. He said it might keep the tumor from growing but it is only a small chance. It's not certain that the tumor is becoming active. Dr. V. says my symptoms will announce future activity but it isn't definite that the tumor is planning on growing because my headaches are increasing.
I have opted not to start chemo yet. I am saving that as the "Hail Mary" pass when we have exhausted all other options. Now, I am on a stronger pain medication. If that doesn't take care of the headaches, I will start steroids (yuck) and if that doesn't help, then I will go to chemotherapy. I am praying that the pain will just go away. Come to think of it, I am praying the same fate for the tumor!
The headaches are not incapacitating. My head feels like a big bruise (opening for a joke here). It fades and returns on and off but it never really goes away. This is where the concern comes into play.
So, the outcome of all of this is that we really don't know what is coming next. I am asking for more time with my wonderful children, my loving husband, my other supportive family members. But even more than that, I am asking that God would accomplish His will in me and through me. Use me, Lord, in all my fears and failings.You are worthy, Father. Please show Yourself powerful in my life.
I'll update as the news comes in.
Love,
Elyse |
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Posted by 
Posted by Jayme 
Jan. 31, 2009 - hi
i checked this again today, not sure why, but there you were with another update.
i hope for you that you continue to have the strength and the love to continue through this really uncertain time. i know the burden on your family and children must be indescribable, and to try and stay "normal" is impossible as who would even know what normal is anymore.
i pray you are getting the emotional and physical support that you need and please just know you are always in my heart.......
love
wendy