7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Psalm 139:7-14
Six years ago today around this time, Me & six other co-workers sat, huddled together in our 51st floor office. Around us pitch blackness due to the residue of the
collapsed first tower. We were beyond fear.Bewilderment, anxiety, questions swirled through our minds.
It began as any other work day for me. I was living back home with my Mom in
Rockaway, Queens NY., because I was getting re-married in October and was saving money for the wedding. After getting my daughter ready for school. I left the house for my 2 1/2 block walk to the A-train. It was an
unusually warm day. The sun was shining like it was the middle of the summer instead of early September. I must have left earlier than usual because I saw the train coming and I still had about 1/4 of a block to go. I ran for it. Thinking back, that must have been God , because I never run for the train. I mean running 1/4 of a block, then up 4 - yes four flights of stairs! But I made it just as the doors were closing.
When I got to the Chambers Street stop (it is the train stop that leaves you under the World Trade Center), I walked
thru the underground mall stopping
occasionally to browse in the myriad of stores there since I was early. It was Tuesday, so that meant that the "Green Market" vendors would be outside in
the Plaza selling all of their delicious & organic foods. I picked up the usual "
bow tie" cookies and fresh apple cider for the office - a treat everyone looked forward to on Tuesdays.
I got into the office at around 8:30 - no one else was there, so I proceeded to set up the "snack" and start my daily routine. A few minutes later the Sales manager arrived and went back to his desk. about 15 minutes later, I turned to get up from my desk and noticed that there was a flurry of paper in the sky. I immediately thought that maybe something happened on one of the upper floors of our building so I went around the corner to where the Sales managers desk was. There he sat looking out of the window at the Twin Towers where there were flames shooting out of the upper floors. I said "Whats going on?" He replied that there seemed to have been some kind of explosion at the tower. We just sat there staring at the burning building. Little by little, more of the staff came in wondering what was going on
because there seemed to be ensuing
pandemonium on the streets below.
I went back to my desk as my good friend, who had been in Israel for two weeks, came in. We shared a hug and tried to make sense of what was happening. Some of us turned on the T.V. in the conference room to see if maybe the news media had gotten a hold of anything. Our V.P. was in from Mass with a couple of other visiting employees some of whom this was their very first visit to NYC. I couldn't exactly tell you how long it was, but a few minutes later the sales manager, two sales reps and my friend were standing in front of my desk with their computer bags, purses etc. They calmly said to me: "We just saw a plane hit the second tower. We're leaving the building right now. You should leave too." I was in total shock! What do you mean a plane hit the second tower?!!! They repeated it again - as monotoned as they did the first time - too much in shock to fathom what they just witnessed. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I
hurriedly gathered my things and went to the elevator with them. When we got down to the street level It looked like a war zone. People running & screaming
through the streets, heading down to the Canal Street water front hoping to hop one of the
ferry's across to New Jersey.
My co-workers encouraged me to leave with them offering their apartments to me to stay overnight. As I looked around a still small voice said to me "stay here and wait". I knew it was God. I thanked them and said I was going to stay until things calmed down a bit.
Six of us stayed at the office. We attempted to call loved ones and family to let them know that we were okay. The phone lines were a mess since everyone was trying to do the same thing. Eventually we didn't have any
land line or cell phone access at all. The only person we could communicate with was a former employee who was living in Atlanta and could communicate with us via
IM.
After awhile, I felt the need to just get away. I walked out of our office and on to the stone terrace/
fire escape. I could hear the
sirens screaming below. I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the heavens.
"God, I said, I don't know what will become of me this day, but I ask your forgiveness for any and all sins that I have committed. In to Your hands I com mitt my spirit. Please be with my Mom and daughter . Comfort & soothe them should anything happen to me this day. Comfort my fiance & strengthen him. I thank you Lord for who you are, and that you love me and will take me up this day. Amen."
I walked off that terrace and back in to the office with such a peace, such relief. When I got back in, the remaining co-workers were at the back of the office looking over at the burning towers. We just stood there incredulous. How could this be happening? No sooner than those word were uttered, there was a rumble as the first tower crumbled (literally) before our eyes. The shattered glass shimmered in the sunlight reflecting like millions of diamonds. We all began to scream as a huge white cloud came morphing toward us. All I could say was Oh my God over and over again. The V.P. shouted for us to get down and within a few minutes, our building was engulfed in that white mass. The building
tremored and outside went from white to pitch blackness. We could see absolutely nothing. We could hear the aftershock rumbling from the fallen tower. We had no T.V. reception and would hear later that it was because the giant antenna on top of the first tower had fallen through the roof of the
AMEX (American Stock Exchange).
There was
absolutely nothing we could do but sit there and wait. I comforted a fellow co-worker and prayed over her. We must have been sitting there like that for about an hour when we heard and felt another loud rumble. It was the second tower falling. It was at that point we heard the
evacuation announcement. We walked down the stairs from the 51st floor. In the lobby, we were handed bottles of water and masks. Outside looked like the aftermath of a nuclear war. White ash fell from the sky like snow. Small groups of people emerged suddenly from the "mist" like they were stepping out from behind a veil. It was at this point the group separated. Four of my coworkers headed toward Grand Central Station where they could possibly catch trains back to Mass & to
Westchester. The three of us headed toward the Brooklyn Bridge, since some of us lived in Queens. I was able to call a good friend in Brooklyn before the phones went down and made arrangements to stay with her overnight if necessary. Little did I know at the time I would have to take her up on her offer. At one point I looked down Trinity Place and all I could see was blackness. Not even the steeple of Trinity Church could be seen. It was like hell on earth.
I will never forget the throngs of people merging from across lower Manhattan and marching
across that bridge that day. Everyone looked as if they were in a trance; all of us covered in this 'soot'. A combination of broken glass, burnt paper, burned up other things too hideous for our minds to conceive or mouths to mention.
When we got to the other side we were met by firemen, police & media, anxious to know what awaited them on the other side. The somber faces of the fireman spoke volumes; this was like nothing they had ever seen and probably have prayed would never see again. We did our best to explain what it was like but there were simply no words.
I continued to just walk. My feet hurt, my body hurt, my mind screamed. But I just kept walking. I walked until I reached my friends house. When she opened the door, she just stared at me. I must have looked a sight. I walked in to her outstretched arms and sobbed. Her daughters wanted to hug me too, but I was covered from head to toe in God knows what, so her husband sweetly ushered them into their bedroom to watch t.v.
My friend helped me get out of my clothes and put me in the shower. I just stood under the hot water letting it wash all the debris - mental, emotional and physical away. but it didn't. It just got rid of the dust, but not the memory. I was so tired. I
collapsed on her bed curled up in a ball. Eventually I got up, we went and got something to eat came back and I went to sleep again.
The next morning she walked me to the A train station in downtown Brooklyn. She was going to give blood. There was a huge line that wrapped around almost the whole block where people were waiting to give blood. We hugged and I headed down in to the station. On train, there was no chatter. It was eerily quiet. The mood somber, morose. People stared straight head without really looking at anything. Some read the paper, shaking their heads in disbelief at what we had all just experienced.
I got home safely to the waiting arms of my Mom and daughter, just grateful and happy to have survived such tragedy. Others that I knew were not so fortunate. Many co-workers from a firm that worked closely with ours perished that day. Our firm eventually closed as did many located in that area. I moved back to New Jersey and rarely went in to the city after that. Funny thing is, I was born and raised in NY but after that day, it was just never the same for me.
I know that this post was a long one. But it was necessary for me. I have never written about that day. Never put down in
writing what it was like for me. Many Americans experienced 9/11 at a distance - via television. But I was there, in living
technicolor. Surviving 9/11 has made me more aware that it is
truly God that has numbered our days. It has made me more appreciative, more grateful for each and every day that I am given. My days are gifts, gifts that I am learning to appreciate and share.
Thank you Lord that I have lived another year. That another year has passed and you have kept us safe from all hurt harm and danger.
Psalm 138
A Psalm of David.
1 I will praise You with my whole heart;
Before the gods I will sing praises to You.
2 I will worship toward Your holy temple,
And praise Your name
For Your lovingkindness and Your truth;
For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.
3 In the day when I cried out, You answered me,
And made me bold with strength in my soul.
Chondra 