Husband and Family Guy

Have you ever watched a favorite movie, or TV show, or read a favorite book, time and time again, and gotten completely immersed in the suspense and drama? Even though we know how the story will turn out, we still get caught up in the plot complication: will the good guy win over the bad guy? How will the hero escape this situation?

To me, Easter is like that. We know how the story ends - Jesus is risen! Yet, as we navigate through Thursday, and Friday, and Saturday, and wait for Sunday, we feel the passion, the agony, and the sadness that is the crucifixion. Part of it out of the story itself, part of it coming to grips with our own sinfulness, both personally and corporately, that moved Jesus to choose the cross for us. We wonder - will the good guy win over the bad guy? How will the hero escape this situation?

The good guy wins! The hero arose from the situation! Death is conquered, sin is forgiven! We celebrate - He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Maybe God created a sense of drama, suspense, and anticipation within us so that we would always re-live the sorrow of Good Friday and the joy of Easter.

I know I did this year. And will again.

And I wait until Jesus comes again, even though I've read ahead and know how the story will turn out.

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Mar. 27, 2009
~ God's Protection Over Me ~

This week I've chosen to see God's hand of protection over me instead of being unhappy that He hasn't blessed me more.

Compare the photo of me uploaded with this post to the photo with my profile. Same person, same time of the year, different cameras with different lenses. One photo is a blessing, one is a curse. Just goes to show that how we see life depends upon the lens and perspective we have.

One way among many that God is protecting me that was always there, but I've been reminded of:

Word came this week that another marriage in my extended family is failing in a big way. The lens and perspective I have at the moment allows me to see God's protection over me, my own marriage, and my own family life.

God's grace, God's word and my application of it to my life, allowing His influence, and Scripture influenced decision making have made the difference. My own marriage and family are vibrant and growing because of the saving and keeping work of Jesus Christ. I have a relationships with my kids. I'm connected in my local church, including a small group that provided interdependence. Even as I struggle with synergizing the need to earn a living and the need to be home with my family, we are working together to keep it in line. And we're waiting for the end of tax season, then a big family celebration.

The "world" would predict that failure is my destiny. Jesus Christ says that being like Him is my destiny. When Jesus comes and transforms, He doesn't usually do it with flash and dance, shock and awe. Instead, it is a quiet, behind the scenes work built around who He is, what He as done, and what He is doing, and using truth to influence decision making.

Usually, I struggle because I don't feel as blessed as I ought to be. True, He throws financial trials my way to make sure He has my attention. That manifiests itself in my having to be intentional about counting my blessings. This week counting my blessings got a whole lot easier when I noticed that I've been protected from problems that others I care about have.

Now the call is to find out how to come alongside my struggling comrades...

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Mar. 20, 2009
~ Reinventing myself, again. ~

At age 43, I am still re-inventing myself. The photo is of someone re-inventing the wheel on a napkin. Get it? :-) I'm finding myself having to be more of a risk taker than I'm used to.

One recent example is in my moonlighting job, a Tax Professional at H & R Block. One would think of a tax preparer who reads questions from a computer, waits for a customer's response, then keystrokes the data. Not so. Today's successful Tax Professional is a dynamic, thoughtful combination of tax knowledge and interpersonal communicator. Additionally, we have the responsibility to build value for everybody by winning and retaining clients, finding added value services, and marketing ourselves and our brand. I'm not one to ask others to do something (ask my Darling Bride who asked who to get married). But after the agony of plucking up courage of asking clients to take advantage of opportunities we present, some say yes. It is exciting to be influential in a good way. So I have to take the risk of asking others to do things, even when those things would benefit them.

Continuing, thinking through my leadership role at my local church. What if I start pursuing an M.B.A. and have to make priority choices? I think I might need and M.B.A. to be qualified for my next job, and a job allows me to proivde for my family, etc...Taking risks of what to say "yes" to and what to say "no" to.

At home. I've been struggling with finding quantitiy time for family, as tax season is in full swing. I will be re-inventing myself again starting April 16th. Finally, I will be with my family again. I miss them. That's another consideration. The family photo I keep on my desk is not just decoration, it is my motivation to keep going, and to keep re-inventing myself. The risk of balancing the need of having to go earn grocery money and the need of being home with my family.

Isn't "re-inventing oneself" another name for being conformed to the image of Christ if you are a follower of Him? Whatever it is, call it a work in progress.

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Mar. 16, 2009
~ If it is a holiday, and you have to work, is it still a holiday? ~

DISCLAIMER: This is a light hearted look at work and holidays. Don't be offended.

Recently one of my Sunday School classmembers mentioned the holiday of St. Patrick's Day.

Now I know that I may offend someone if I say that St. Patrick's Day is not a holiday.

But it's not. Here's how I know: I still have to go to work. If I go to work, holiday - no. If I get a day off, holiday - yes. Simple.

Of course, what may be a holiday for my may not be for you. And what may be a holiday for you may not be for me.

President's Day? Guess it depends on if you are a banker or not. Valentine's Day? I still went to work and the trash collectors still picked up my trash. Arbor Day? When is Arbor Day, anyway?

Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day? Yes, I know some people still have to work, but I don't get much time off work, so I'll take 'em. They make summer a little extra special.

How about the big majors, like Christmas, and Thanksgiving? I know that public servants, like Police, Fire, soldiers, Marines, and such, have to work those days, because safety never takes a holiday. So I don't know what to say about that yet. I do know, though, that I am thankful for those who put themselves on the line for us every day. But those are real holidays - put away the cares of the world for a day, play, eat, be with family, think of God, and have 24 hours of peace.

If you like to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, go right ahead! It may be a holiday for you, and that's OK! Good for you! Drink something green for me. I will be wearing something green at work.

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Mar. 12, 2009
~ Ministry is Messier than Tax Advice ~

I have an opportunity to take an intensive Biblical Counseling course this summer.

To give counsel, not necessarily to receive counsel. But I'm noticing something.

I was thinking / hoping that being a Bible counselor would be like being a Master Tax Advisor: Someone asks me a question, I look up the applicable tax code, give an answer, the person says thank you, and on to the next question. For example: My uncle asked me how to report the sale of some collectable coins on his tax form. I told him where to put the purchase date, sale date, sale price, purchase price, etc. So I was hoping that someone would ask me a life question, I would look up the applicable Bible verse, dispense an answer, the person says thank you, and on to the next crisis.

Not so. Ministry is messy. Our family has been called to come alongside another family and do life with them. A lot more than life Q and A. We share our struggles, setbacks, clutter, and get outside of our comfort zone. That's what Bible counseling is all about really. Knowing that the Bible, and the God who authored it, has the answers to life's toughest struggles, is only the start. The Bible as a handy "reference guide" is only part of the reality of walking with Jesus. It means walking with those whom He sends to us, not just looking up an answer to a question.

So life is counseling me. I am learning what it is really like to counsel someone. It is not just learning the answers, it is about living the answers. Outside of my comfort zone in a big way, but that's what God is intending, I am sure.

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Mar. 4, 2009
~ Different Kind of Help Wanted ~

This week we find ourselves in a position to minister to some others who are in challenging circumstances and ensnared by sin.

Not a comfortable position to be in.

Helping someone and counseling them in truth and love sounds good, until a live person shows up in life.

Getting up from the La-Z-Boy of life to walk with someone through the valley doesn't sound like a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Isn't Sunday afternoon supposed to be family time, anyway? A day of rest?

Yet, when it is time to sit down and think about it, the decision is clear. The way I see it, anybody can fall into a hole without anybody's help, but few people climb out on their own. So, we are called to come along side.

Later, I'll be glad I did.

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Feb. 27, 2009
~ School Dances and Life Skills ~

Did you ever go to one of those school dances in Junior High or High School? Another reason to wonder about Public School, but I digress. School dances were awkward. We go, but we don't really want to, we don't really feel comfortable. The cool kids are hanging out having a good time, the extroverts are somehow talking to everyone else, making friends and having a good time, and wall flowers like us wonder about what we could have been thinking by going to this thing. I'd like to hide in the bathroom the rest of the night.

I have news: That feeling never goes away. I had those same awkward feelings just this week, and there are opportunities for grown ups to do the same things as at school dances.

This week I has hand picked (let's send Jeff, he'll do anything!) to represent H & R Block at the Indianapolis Chamber of Commerce's "Business After Hours" Networking Social. It works like a school dance. There is a big room, with a DJ playing music. There is food. The theme is sports, so they have hot dogs, chips, fries, that sort of thing. Bartenders are serving drinks, both hard and soft. I hang around for a minute or two so I can find out if the food and drink are free or if I have to pay. I have $1.00 in my wallet. It's all free. A dollar saved is a dollar earned. I have a hot dog, fries, and diet coke.

The cool people of the business world are gathered in small groups, talking business I suppose. I don't know for sure because I am not part of any group. Other movers and shakers are introducing themselves to others, swapping business cards, and who knows what else because I'm an aloof observer.

Fortunately, wallflower Jeff has an opportunity to do something without looking too out of place. Because the theme is sports, there are some sport type games setup. I choose the basketball game, the kind where you have mini basketballs that you try to shoot into mini basketball hoops. It is electronic so bells and whistles and lights go off each time I make a shot.

An older man who already knows that he can drink as much beer as he likes for free comes over and says something. Despite my difficulty in understanding his slurred speech, I was happy because I was now networking.

It does get better! I find out about a "speed networking" session. There is a round table with up to 10 seats. A facilitator gives each person sitting around the table 1 minute to talk about who we are, about our business, and what we'd like others to know about us. Then another minute to answer questions. I sign up, and get to meet 7 others in a controlled, structured environment. This actually isn't too bad. A print shop owner is looking for clients. A retired Chief Financial Officer is looking to provide accounting services to start up business ventures. An officer of a local credit union is talking about how they have money to lend. Then again, someone is looking for clients to help us balance our physical and spiritual inner something or others. But the point is that I have success! I have a collection of other people's business cards, and I can prove to the H & R Block people that I did something.

After the networking session, I go back to the dance, I mean After Hours event, and lots of people are there talking to each other. I know nobody, except the people I just met, and so I get another hot dog and diet coke. Fortunately, this is a multi purpose facility with swimming pool, exercise rooms, etc., and they are giving tours. I go on the tour so that I don't have to mingle. Nice place. I bet I could afford to be a member if I grew my client base more. I could grow my client base more if I did some networking. Maybe I'll go again next time.

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Feb. 23, 2009
~ I got one right this weekend! ~

I got one right this weekend: I sat down to play a board game with my daughter on Sunday night.

She'd been asking all weekend. I'd been holding off, hoping to compromise by getting her to agree to some Wii Sports.

My oldest son did agree to some Wii Sports. I beat him in tennis and baseball. I feel badly about that, but probably more badly than he felt (or didn't feel) when he destroyed me in tennis and baseball in earlier times. But I digress.

The point is that I HAD to get a game in with Darling Daughter before the weekend disappeared forever. We played "Life," the old, old version before credit cards and other bizarre stuff ruined it forever. Great game. She showed her true calling when she came to a fork in the road and passed up a chance to collect $240,000 and instead added a daughter. What a girl! I HAD to get this game played because otherwise, a chance to lead in my household would have come and gone. Maybe later she would choose the cash over the family. Maybe later, in real life, she would. But for today, at age 9, she did not.

As a CPA, time with family comes few and far between until April 15 passes. I could have refused a chance to bond with my daughter and the rest of the family, but I did not. But I almost did. That scares me a little bit.

Hopefully you will choose the same.

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Feb. 20, 2009
~ Hi Ho, Hi Ho, off to work I go ~

This is busy season for me as work is concerned. I have a full time job as an accounting and information administrator for our bakery, www.crawfordsbakery.com; then during tax season a tax professional at www.hrblock.com. This week I put in 64 hours, last week 68.

I am not a workaholic. I'd rather stay home and play. And teach homeschool lessons. But we as a family agree to do this because we've committed to being a one wage earner family, and this provides a chance for Darling Bride to be home and do what she's called to do, be "busy at home" (her blog title, too - www.homeschoolblogger.com/jenn4him.)

By the way, what does Darling Bride say about being home and not out in the world striking it rich?

"This career thing is so overrated."

So we have our roles. Sometimes they are easy, sometimes they are hard. Come April 16, I'm back to a regular life. We'll go camping, play in the back yard, and play some more.

Sometimes it takes a little extra to make life work out. And, I'm thankful for two jobs when some dads I know have zero.

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Just call me Jeff
(Jeffrey if I'm in trouble)

Hopefully writing about my (mis)adventures will encourage you along your journey! I'm a 43 year old, Husband, Homeschooling Father of 3, Businessman, Christian, etc., trying to apply 1 Thessaolians 5:11, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." (and maybe a few laughs along the way...)

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Quality and Quantity Time
Easter 2009, some thoughts
God's Protection Over Me
Reinventing myself, again.
If it is a holiday, and you have to work, is it still a holiday?

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