Homeschooling from the Heart

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

April 17, 2008 - I'm Coming Back....

I have been away from my blog for awhile, but I'm hoping to be a more frequent poster now that I seem to be on an upswing in my life. You see, lately I've been battling the terrible illness called depression. I've known people, in my own family even, that have experienced this condition but I never before understood why it was such a terrible thing and I never thought it would affect me personally. I can't exactly pinpoint when it all started. I can think of a couple of semi-traumatic events in the past couple of years that might have triggered it but it was really a gradual thing that took hold of me and at first I could not recognize it for what it really was. I thought I was just tired and lazy, and possibly a little hormonal with a bad case of PMS each month. (I tend to blame myself for everything whether it's my fault or not anyway, not good for someone in my situation.) But I truly saw it for what it was in the last month or two. I would be trying to go to sleep at night while thoughts and emotions would be wreaking havoc with my mind. Little things would make me cry. Things that would be no big deal to a healthy person. People were starting to notice and someone even commented to me that I looked sad. That was when I decided I needed to take action. So me, Erika , who keeps everything to herself, finally let her husband know what was going on. (But only after researching herbal antidepressants and making a trip to the health food store!) I haven't yet seen a doctor. I'm not sure that I will for this, but I'm not opposed to it if what I'm doing now isn't successful. I am due to go in for my yearly physical soon, so I'll talk about it with her then. I am just not wanting to take any of the stronger drugs and I don't want a doctor telling me that I need to when I can take something natural and with less side effects that will do the same job. So now I am allowing myself a recovery period. I'm letting the St Johns Positive Thoughts take effect and allowing myself to take baby steps in putting my house back in order without getting overwhelmed and giving my children the attention they need and that I've neglected to give them lately. That in itself is a challenge for me, but the Lord has been faithful to help me though this already. This morning He got me up early and I read a powerful devotion that is speaking to my situation. He is putting people in my path that can impart wisdom to me and help erase those unhealthy thoughts about myself. He's even helping me to open up a little by sharing my experiences in this blog. (You just can't know how hard it was at first to type this entry!) He's also bringing spring and warmer weather and more sunshine which is something I've been longing for since early March! I can hear birds outside singing and it is so uplifting. God is so Good! I am also hoping that by sharing this here I might hear from others with similar experiences so we can hold each other accountable to take positive steps toward recovery (feel free to send me a private message).

I would like to close by sharing the scripture that the Lord led me to this morning.

James 1:2-8 (Good News Translation) **emphasis mine**

My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeeds in facing such trials, the result is the ability to endure. Make sure that your endurance carries you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all. But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is driven and blown about by the wind. If you are like that, unable to make up your mind and undecided in all you do, you must not think that you will receive anything from the Lord.

Now I must go, because I want to get breakfast started so that my husband can have a morning off.

April 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Oh Erika, thank you for sharing. I'm sure it can't be easy sharing such difficult things on your blog, but that truly is part of recovering. I will pray for you. Sometimes I've wondered if I've dealt with depression and even took St. John's Wort for a time. I pray that the natural items help you rather than you needing stronger medicine- I was opposed to it too but also willing to take it if I absolutely needed it. Glad to see you are back to blogging!
Jamie

Permanent Link

<- Last Page :: Next Page ->

About Me

I am a Christian wife and mother of 3 in Michigan. This is where I will be sharing our experiences in homeschooling our children. I welcome comments and look forward to hearing from my readers!