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Have you ever felt something wet on your face and realized it was tears? Or wanted desperately to cry and couldn't? I've had BOTH things happen and neither is fun. A dear friend once told me to crawl in the shower, turn the water on and bawl my eyes out. She said the water in the shower helps to hide that you've been crying. I must be doing something wrong, because my family can all tell when I've been crying. Hmmm............maybe I'm too transparent. Now, you may be sitting there, reading along, thinking.......what on earth is she doing, blogging about crying!?! NOONE CARES! Ahh, and that's where you'd be wrong! People cry. Women cry. Men cry. Children cry. We've got a built in pressure relief valve (crying) that allows the pressure of every day life and stresses to be released every so often. Regardless of what you think.............people cry. So what's the big deal? Why is it the topic of a blog? Well, I'm glad you asked! lol (ok, so ya didn't ask, but you're going to get MY story anyway!) I've been battling with every day issues. The rainy weather, snow then rain, then sleet...............back to snow..........ok, so you get the idea...........dealing with disappointments and things I thought **should** have been or **could** have been. I could have been a contenda! No, seriously............. It seems as though the small things in life piled into one BIG thing and hit me full force between the eyes. My children are not perfect...........they're cute, but not perfect............my husband, God bless him, he's not perfect either. (did I mention that I wasn't either??) Ok, all of these things have just overwhelmed my soul and I've found myself dealing with things from the past...........(I prefer to sweep things under the rug and forget it-------thinking I've forgiven and forgotten and then realized I hadn't) Does any of this sound familiar? If it does, I am not alone. PRAISE GOD!!! Not shouting, just joyful that I'm not alone!!! Sometimes...........I just want to bawl and not have to explain to anyone WHY. I want to sit next to the kleenex box and really let a good gully-washer rip. I don't want to have to explain that I'm hormonal, not hormonal, tired of being responsible, tired of paying bills, airing out my differences with someone through 1-800-KLEENEX, or just feeling like being in a snit and throwing a temper tantrum. Sometimes, I JUST WANT TO CRY..............in peace, please! Is that too much to ask? Obviously it is. People tiptoe around me. The kids ask questions and poke fingers at my eyes and say things like, "why are you crying, Mommy?" or "It's okay, Mommy!" I love my kids......please understand that..............but sometimes, I don't want to here that it's okay. Sometimes, I just want to cry and get it out! And to every female who has had a man ask, "Honey, is it.......um...........that time? you know?" I say........wad up your kleenex (not still in the box) and throw it at them! Ugh! I suppose this is my summation on crying. |
Tears are His way of helping us get through life! |
We've got rain and snow! Yes, both! Earlier today I went to our office. The rain was coming down in large drops. The swish-swish motion of the windshield wipers just about put me to sleep. I pulled up outside the office and went inside. It was nice and warm. The cold wind had chilled me to the bones and the warmth of the building welcomed me like an old friend. I settled into my chair and prepared to get started on the mountains of paperwork before me. My cell phone rang and I knew, before looking at the screen, that my children were calling. I answered it and they, of course, needed my immediate attention and my presence at home. A bag of lima beans had gone missing and needed to be found quickly. My daughter needed them for a science project. I collected my things, knowing that I would have no peace til I drove home and found them. I went back outside and the large rain drops had turned to beautiful giant white snowflakes. How pretty! I drove home and watched as they hit the windshield and then melted away like butter. Upon my arrival home, I determined to find the missing lima beans and head back to the office. Due to my quick thinking, I hid the lima beans so they would not get cooked in a meal. I did such a wonderful job that none of us can find them now. I will have to look again later, but we are wondering just WHERE I put them. Where in the world are the lima beans!?! Hm...........that is the million dollar question.
After stepping into mud numerous times, I finally decided that I needed to get things in motion to put gravel in our driveway. It is so awful to step down in mud with heels on. There's just something about that squishing feeling that makes you want to pull your foot back immediately..............whether it's YOUR foot in the mud or you're just reading about it. The boys and I took our truck to the dump today to empty it of scraps and messes from my husband's jobsites. We emptied it and brought it back home. It's ready to be filled with gravel for the driveway as soon as the rain and snow stop. We plan on getting the driveway done before spring hits and the rains come! And just imagine! No squishing feeling! lol
The kids finished their homeschooling today and we got a lot accomplished. Tomorrow will be the day I grade papers, work on lesson plans and indulge myself in coffee with creamy chocolate creamer. Yum! I treat myself when I have to do homeschooling paperwork.
Well, I'm off to bed. I had planned on being in bed by 10:00 tonight, but that didn't happen. lol I'm going to be getting up early tomorrow and I want to be rested and refreshed for all that paperwork tomorrow. Hope everyone is staying safe and warm. Goodnight! |
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What joy to shop for gifts for people! I love buying things I know people will like, wrapping them up in beautiful wrapping paper, putting bows on them and then watching their faces light up as they open them. I believe gift-giving is one of my love languages. Who doesn't like gifts!?! I've been down for the count for several weeks. The kids and I got a virus that just wiped us out. We were all pretty tired and feeling awful. Needless to say, the house suffered from it and needed major attention. I was able to get a lot done on Monday. The kids and I worked hard on the house and got it all nice and cleaned up. The kitchen, however, needed some serious help. I was finally able to get the kitchen put back into somewhat of a workable semblance today. I worked hard at cleaning counters and the stove. It really needed a good old-fashioned scrubbing and it got it. This evening we went shopping for gifts and candy-making supplies. I was so glad to get things purchased so I can get started on making candy. As a matter of fact, I already started! lol I came home this evening and started dipping cookies. I'm going to give them away as gifts. I love to cook and bake and tomorrow I will be baking several batches of cookies and making several batches of candy! I'm looking forward to it. We watched Paula Deen on the food network the other day and saw her make the most scrumptious-looking pork loin roast. As a matter of fact, you can find it on www.foodnetwork.com under Paula Deen's name and under the recipe name of Apple Stuffed Pork Loin Roast. I am going to make it for our Christmas eve dinner. We're supposed to have a few relatives over for dinner and I am hoping my husband and I can fix it together. I'm also going to ask my daughter if she will fix a salad or something for us. My boys will fix something yummy, too. They love to cook as well. I'm trying to decide what to fix to go along with it. Any suggestions? I'm hoping I can pop up out of bed in the morning and get started on making candy and cookies. I need to get this stuff done and the holidays are creeping up on me. I also need to finish wrapping gifts. I keep saying I'm going to get it done, but I haven't yet. I'm always on the lookout for easy candy or cookie recipes. I'm hoping I can make some good stuff to carry to the neighbors. (Us southerners "carry" things to neighbors!) lol We're supposed to get another cold front moving in this weekend. I hope it's not too terribly bad. If it is, we might have to cancel out church again. I'm hoping we don't have to do that. We all need to be in church worshipping Christ, our Lord. Well, it's very late and my husband is falling asleep on the couch. I need to wake him and help him get to bed. He's just exhausted from working today. I pray everyone has a blessed rest this evening. |
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Today has been such a wild day. It started last night. I took a shower and noticed the water wasn't very warm. I slowly shut the cold water completely off and let the hot water run. It wasn't hot at all. I finally rinsed off and got out and dried off. This morning I woke up to my oldest son telling me that I can go back to sleep. The hot water heater won't be delivered til the afternoon. I did double time in getting dressed and calling my husband. Evidently, he went to take a shower and there was no hot water at all. He went downstairs and the tank on the hot water heater was leaking. There was a puddle of water on the floor beside it. Fortunately, my husband is a contractor so he was able to put a hot water heater on his tab at a local supplier. I'm relieved to have a new hot water heater, but concerned with how we'll pay for it. I'm praying hard now and wondering how the Lord will work this all out. Even before the hot water tank incident, I've been struggling with my faith. I see the Lord blessing the lives of others and I am not envious of the blessings they have received.........just wondering when I will hear His Voice again. Sometimes He is very silent with me. He says very little and I know that all is well and He is pleased OR I've stumbled away somehow or been so preoccupied with things that I haven't taken the time I need to take with Him. The silence I hear now is definitely due to the latter. Life itself consumes my energy and thoughts. There are bills to pay, chores to be done, children to tend. It seems as though life is a myriad of "musts" and "need to do's". Somehow, in the midst of the musts, I MUST sit quietly before Him and draw strength. I find myself operating on little to no strength, but running in my own steam and failing miserably. Everyone needs something from me and I haven't been to Him to get what they need or what I need. I think putting my Bible on the coffee table and setting out my journal and pen might be a good way to get started again. One area that seems to grate on my nerves more than others is our home. Our home is a very small home. I've often teasingly referred to it as a sardine can. At times, it does feel like one. I've prayed and asked Him for a new (to us) home. I've asked that it be bigger and more spacious for the kids to really spread out in. I would love to see them all lounging on the floor, sprawled out and coloring or playing video games and just enjoying the space. I've prayed many times for a new home. Many times I've heard Him tell me He would provide. I am still waiting and still very cramped. Our home is so small, it is considered a "starter home". I'm honestly trying hard not to be discontent. I want to be content. I want to be joyful. It's just hard to do when the whole family has trouble sitting down to a meal together because there is no room. Tonight was our girls' night out. We went out to dinner and then went shopping. My daughter and I love to get out and go shopping together. We usually get something inexpensive and just enjoy the majority of our time window-shopping. We looked at lots of Christmas items tonight. I was amazed at how articulate my daughter is. She is very artistic and that seems to flow over in her speech and how she conveys her thoughts in words. She loved the Christmas displays and we both found several things that we liked. We are hoping to recreate some of them at home. They had a lot of ornaments but none that we really cared enough about to actually purchase. So we'll make some! I'm hoping to buy a wreath and make a Christmas wreath for our door. I told my husband that I am not spending $20 for a wreath that looks awful. If I spend anything, I'll make my own and decorate it up to suit MY tastes. I was able to finish shopping for the kids. They are all taken care of. However, there is my husband to think about. I am stumped on what to buy the man! He gave me a list, but half the things on it are tools and whoozits and thingamabobs that I have no clue where they are. I will find some of them and he will have a nice Christmas. It's just going to be tricky trying to find everything! I'm still praying for a stand mixer. I'm not sure I'll get one, but it would be so awesome if I did. No more hurting my wrists to make chocolate chip cookies. No more pain and I'm sure they would get mixed more quickly, which the kids would love! lol Well, it's very late and my husband is in bed. I keep saying that I will not stay up late and that I will get up early. So far, I seem to be having quite the battle doing that. One night of staying up waay too late and it set a pattern of it happening several nights! I prefer to get up early in the morning and get things done! I surely won't get up early in the morning if I don't get myself tucked in. Blessings to all! |
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So much has happened lately that it may take awhile to get it all typed out. lol We've all been battling the virus that seems to be going around. We thought we were going to miss it, but one of the neighborkids gave it to my daughter, who promptly shared with the rest of us. Dh seems to have been affected the least by it. We're praying hard that he doesn't get it real bad. He seems to just have a "touch" of it. I'm hoping he will be healed from it soon. We've decided to rest through the month of December. We're going to work on healing and getting over this junk. I also want to work on baking and candy-making and hopefully cookie-making as well. The kids love it when we cook and bake. They enjoy helping me and they're quite profficient in the kitchen. December is also our concentrated month of RAK. (Random Acts of Kindness) We're going to do several nice things for other people. The trick is not getting "caught" at it. We have to do something kind without being discovered! Do you realize how hard that is!?! The kids are excited about that aspect of it and as I told them about that particular "rule", I could see their minds swirling and whirling. It will be interesting to see what they come up with! Tonight is Bible study at church. I haven't studied for it and I don't even know where my Bible study is. I am hoping I can get it dug out and can go through the lesson. I think I worked on it some last week. I'll have to find it in a bit. My kitchen finally got clean! It's hard to believe, but after a week of being sick, (dh didn't do the dishes as often as I would have liked), I finally got up last night and worked on the kitchen. It was almost sparkling when I got done. It felt good to get up to a clean kitchen this morning. Wish it had been done sooner, but I'm just thankful it's clean now. I had 2 recipes and I've lost them! I had a recipe for regular fudge and one for peanut butter fudge that didn't require a candy thermometer. They weren't for the microwave either. I was soo hoping I could make fudge for the Christmas season. I love fudge and peanut butter fudge is my favorite. I hope to find the recipes this year. I miss having them! Well, I suppose I should rest so I can go tonight. My husband isn't feeling well, so I want to be able to help with the Bible study and setting things up at church, if I'm needed. Merry Christmas, everyone!
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It is officially Thanksgiving here. It's actually a bit past midnight. Our Wednesday was filled with cooking and baking and mixing. The kids love to help me in the kitchen. My oldest made a dish completely on his own. I gave him the recipe and let him do it. I usually hover over him to make sure he measures everything out. He has a bit of a "slop it together" attitude at times. LOL My daughter helped me make "fluffy salad", as one friend calls it. It's the jello/cottage cheese/cool whip salad. I love that stuff! My sweet daughter put it all together and really enjoyed doing it. My youngest son helped me make the pumpkin pie and he loved taking the finished product out of the oven. I am blessed with good kids. They help out quite a bit. We occasionally bump heads, but they are really good kids. Everything is ready to go for tomorrow............except the mashed potatoes and the turkey. I *do* have to cook them yet. It's nice to get so much accomplished the day before. I've had some major issues dealing with my mom. I love her and want to see her do well. I just do not understand her "moods" and the things she says. This was a really rough week for dealing with her. Why do I always feel guilty for getting upset when she goads me into it? I love her, but I can't handle dealing with her attitudes. After several days of crying and being very upset, I let it go. I honestly believe the Lord knew I couldn't handle it, so He helped me and lifted it off of me. He has been speaking so clearly to my heart. I've prayed and asked Him for help. He's spoken things to my heart and it has helped me tremendously. There is nothing in the world like knowing He loves you. It's incredible. When He whispers His Love into your heart, it's breath-taking! I suppose I should get to sleep. Tomorrow will come very early and I have to go shopping with dh in the morning. We're going to get donuts or something yummy for breakfast! I can't wait to go out with him and be alone with him for a little bit. I pray everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving!
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His face lit up as he placed them on the stovetop and he beamed with pride in his accomplishment. |
Hm........okay, here's 7 random things abt. me: 1. I love to swim. I wish I could swim everyday! 2. I used to play the flute. 3. I love woodworking and my father was a cabinet-maker. 4. I used to play basketball on a team. 5. I have always loved frogs. I have a special place in my heart for them. 6. I LOVE Christmas and I LOVE snow! A snowy Christmas is the absolute best! lol 7. I love to walk for hours in the woods, meandering along a creek and talking to the Lord. Ok, here are the rules and the people I've "tagged" below it. Rules: *Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog. *Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself. *Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. *Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/acceptableuntothee/430286
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/jenicarmichael/ http://homeschoolblogger.com/thehsmomof2/ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/SmallGreenRiver/ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AnnikaElizabeth/ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Academy252/ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/AussieinAmerica/ http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/johnightthirtytwo
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What do I do now? |
What a day! I started off my morning with a cup of coffee and all my teacher's manuals. I was determined to get a large portion of the grading done this morning. I did my eldest son's grading and had to stop. My husband had other plans for me. We were able to go to the eye dr. and pay for my glasses. They had to special order them so it will take about a week before I get them. I'm excited though. I won't have to squint to read and they said they would even help my eyes not to get tired from being on the computer. I hope they help me to see alot better. I miss being able to work on embroidery and close work. We were also able to get my husband a new cordless drill for work. His old one is shot and he had to have a new one. The Lord has really touched our finances and blessed us. It's been enough to get us necessary things like a pr. of glasses for me and a much-needed drill for my husband. We were also able to pay off our dryer this week. It's now ours! I am so thrilled! That payment being off of our shoulders is such a blessing! It was a long day and, while I *did* accomplish alot, I am very tired. I have hopes that I can take a nice long warm shower before bed tonight. I'm not sure that I'll be able to, but it would be nice. lol Yesterday was a busy day as well. I managed to make 2 pans of dressing, a green bean casserole and a jello salad for our carry-in dinner at church tomorrow. I have to cook the turkey early in the wee morning hours and then get everything warmed up and ready to take to church in the morning. There is always so much going on. I have trouble keeping up with everything. I had intended to blog more often, but with all the added responsibilities I have, I haven't been able to. I'm helping out alot at church and I've added a few more weekly appts. into my schedule. I told my husband I just seem to meet myself coming and going. There's a weather change coming and my muscles sure can tell it. I love the cooler weather for baking, but it sure does hurt me physically. After everything I've done the last couple of days, I've decided to just rest tomorrow. I'm going to go to church, going to fix the food for the dinner, but I'm going to let everyone else worry about setting up and tearing down. I need to take care of myself and rest. If I push myself, I will wind up hurting a lot worse than I already do. lol The thought of crawling into a nice soft bed with warm covers and a soft cool pillow sounds heavenly! My husband however, just informed me that I forgot to make the candied yams for the dinner. Will everyone really die off if I don't serve the yams? Will the world *truly* end? Hmmm............I don't think it will. I am headed off for a nice soft cool pillow and my nice warm blanket. I hope everyone has a restful evening.
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What a busy morning! I got up early this morning, got dressed and started in on bills. I detest running errands, but it's a necessary part of life if you want water, electricity and a phone. I managed to pay bills and run all the errands this morning and make a quick trip to walmart. I had to pick up a few things there that we forgot on our Friday night shopping trip. I'm more determined than ever to teach my kids at home. We've had some rough times in the last 2 months, but I'm determined to overcome. I have positively stumped on my oldest, but the younger ones I have a pretty good handle on. Schooling the oldest has been quite a challenge. This weekend was wonderful. We managed to clean up the church property and get the driveway of our home cleaned out. My children had multiple bike parts everywhere and my husband had a few cans of paint and some old rotten boards. They all went! I also managed to get the leaves raked up out of the driveway and, hopefully, we'll be able to get gravel put in before long. That would be so nice! This afternoon I'm going to work on grading the kids' work and on my pillowcases that I'm embroidering. I need some down time. I feel like I've been on overload with everything we have going on. I long to just sit quietly and sew. It will be soo relaxing. Hopefully, I can find some pie pumpkins this week and work them up for pies for Thanksgiving. I love pumpkin pie.............especially made from fresh pumpkin! YUM! Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful fall weather. |
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A soft breeze is blowing the trees around and the leaves are falling gently to the ground. The sky is a picture perfect baby blue and the warm sun is shining down on our home, almost smiling on us. It's a beautiful day. I was able to get up early this morning. I have been having trouble getting up early and had determined to get up early today. I know the Lord helped me. I was up half the night, tossing and turning. I haven't felt well and this morning seems to be the worst of it. It seems to be a mild flu bug. My dd woke up this morning and said her tummy hurt her. Shortly afterward, she was sick. We've got her on the loveseat, laying down and watching cartoons. She said her tummy still hurts, but not as bad. Hopefully, she's gone through the worst of it. It looks like we will not be doing school today. We will probably read more in our book, Prince Caspian. I've been reading to the kids and we chose the Chronicles of Narnia as our read-aloud book for now. I love reading to them and they sit quietly listening and absorbing our latest selection. It's peaceful when we read aloud. Somewhere along the line, in our society, we have lost the art of stillness. We have lost the ability to be still and quiet before the Lord. We have almost lost the ability to soak up the quiet and let the Lord replenish our spirits as He gently speaks His Peace into us. It's a shame. I am anxious to start back on my embroidery. Since I am not feeling up to par today and my little one is not feeling the best, perhaps I'll embroidery a bit this afternoon. I love working with the floss and making something beautiful. It is my goal to finish my dd's pillowcases before Christmas. I hope to get it done quickly so she can use them before the holidays. There is much to be done before I can start working on the pillowcases though. I need to get going on laundry and the kitchen needs my attention. I want to get several things done today and I'm hoping my strength will hold out to do them. Well, I suppose things will not get done if I am online. I'm off to get laundry done and my kitchen cleaned a bit. I hope everyone has a good day!
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What a beautiful day! The sun is out and shining. The breeze is carrying all sorts of gorgeous leaves to the ground for a beautiful tapestry to walk on and the sky is a beautiful blue with hardly a cloud in sight. Today has been a bit of a challenge. To be honest, the last several days have been quite a challenge. I have been struggling with homeschooling and struggling with depression. Several have told us to be more "relaxed" in our homeschooling. I'm still trying to figure out what that means. We have to do "x" amount of pages per day with the curriculum we've chosen or we won't finish it in this school year. I cannot afford to purchase more curriculum. We simply do not have the money. Others have said we need to do unit studies and those DO look interesting to me. However, I do not have the finances to purchase them. So there again that is out. I've been praying hard and waiting for His answer. So far, I've heard nothing. I'm anxious, uptight and waiting for the Lord to speak. All I hear is silence. I am still praying though. I trust Him not to let us down. I believe He will speak, but in His time. It is difficult to wait upon the Lord, but it's my only hope.
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Today is a beautiful day. There are soft billowy clouds painted against a beautiful baby blue sky. It's not too hot, not too cold. Just picture perfect. It's a wonderful day to go to the park. Did I mention that today is our park day!?! We LOVE park day! We go to the local park and the kids play and I go for my walk. I enjoy getting out in the sunshine and just walking and enjoying the beautiful scenery. The trees and the birds chirping are such a delight. I enjoy going for a long walk while we're at the park. It's refreshing and invigorating. I also find that I can talk to the Lord during my walk and enjoy His Presence while I'm exercising. What an awesome way to spend time with Him...........right in the midst of His creation. Recently I was on the phone, trying to take care of some business. I waited patiently through a list of option from an automated answering service. I carefully chose the correct selection and entered my selection by pressing a button on the phone. Suddenly a voice came on the line..........another automated voice..........."Thank you for calling. We appreciate your business!" and then a sudden click. I was disconnected! How rude! Now, I can certainly understand how a company would want to save money by using automated systems. I truly do understand the need to save money. However, I do NOT understand why this particular company did not have the automated system set up to catch any answers that "fell through the crack", so to speak. They just simply disconnected you. That, to me, is unacceptable and highly offensive. I suppose as a single customer, they will not listen to my reasoning or complaint. This is yet another way our society has declined. We've gone from talking to people to talking to machines. Praise God for His provisions! I was able to go to the eye dr. and get my eyes examined yesterday. I've put this off for a couple of years. You must understand my reasoning in this. My glasses generally run around $350-$450 dollars. I generally do not buy name brand frames, but this time I have opted to. I rarely indulge this way, but the name brand frames do last longer and seem to need fewer repairs. My new glasses should be here in a week or so. I'm anxious to get them as I will be able to do my fine needlework without having to take my glasses off. I will also be able to read and focus on the computer screen, without squinting. How wonderful that will be!?! Tonight is my date night! My husband and I go out on a date on Friday nights. We have such a wonderful time, visiting over steaming cups of coffee and a meal prepared by someone other than us! lol My husband is an excellent cook and we both cook meals at our home, but it is oh so wonderful to have someone else cook a meal for us. I enjoy that immensely! While I was out and about yesterday, I happened to stop at a wonderful Christian bookstore. I stepped in and the aromas and sights were so welcoming. The smell of seasonal candles burning beckoned me to come in a little further and explore the wonderful books and knick-knacks carefully displayed throughout the store. Oh, the aroma was so scrumptious! I could almost eat the candles. YUM! The smell of pumpkin, apple and spices filled the air. You could almost smell pumpkin pie baking in an oven. I weaved my way through the beautiful displays and found my purchases: a Bible study on pleasing the Lord and a crisp new journal, just waiting for me to fill its' pages with tales of His goodness and grace and mercy. I long to spend time filling the pages with my thoughts and my journey to the center of His Heart. I love journaling. It allows me the ability to put all of my thoughts on paper, seeing where I struggle and excel................where I need help and where I'm doing great. It allows me to evaluate my life and see where I need to make changes. I received in the mail today a correspondence Bible study. A sweet lady from church offered to let me "in" on her study. She receives these studies and then sends them in or answers them online. As she answers them, they send her more studies. Since I've had such a rough time with keeping up my Bible time (which I consider completely different than my quiet time with the Lord), I thought perhaps studying the Word this way would help me to stay accountable in studying His Word. It's a simple study and does not require a large block of time. I appreciate that, as my time is often eaten up by other things. Have you ever noticed that when you're trying to prioritize your life, the enemy comes up with any and all distractions to draw you away? I've noticed as I attempt to put my life in proper perspective that the enemy is constantly putting good, not necessarily the right, things in my path. If the Lord wants me to put homeschooling first, the enemy will show me a beautiful cross-stitch pattern to work on. If I am trying to concentrate on cleaning my home, he will remind me of a website I was recommended for homeschooling. He is very slick in the way he does things. I know that it is him when the Lord has impressed on me to be doing something else. My husband calls these "dangerous distractions". They are dangerous because they lead us down a road other than what He would have us to be on. I am learning not to go down as many of these roads as I trust in Him and heed His Voice. Well, I've come to the close of yet another incredibly wonderful blog. The Lord has blessed me with the ability to write and type and hopefully, to encourage others. I love it when He writes through me. I hope this blog is a blessing to you. I hope, more importantly, that He is glorified through it. My prayers for you are peace and His Spirit to rest upon you. |
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Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. The cool crisp breezes and the harvest always brings to mind baking! I love baking up scrumptious desserts and mouth-watering breads. The kids love it when I bake and have their favorites on hand. A fresh-baked apple pie, apple dumplings or a batch of homemade cookies always meets with their approval. lol The weather has turned cooler and today was a perfect day to go outside and play. I took the kids to a local park and just let them run and jump and play. They enjoyed their time out of the house and I enjoyed being able to go for my weekly prayer walk. Once a week, we all load up and go to the park and I get to walk and pray. It's nice to be able to get exercise and spend time in the Lord's Presence. I went today and the Lord really swatted me good. Wednesday evening my husband and I got into a bit of a tiff. To make a long story short, I held it in and never apologized to him. We had a misunderstanding, but I took that to another level when I raised my voice to him and refused to submit. Ouch! This is really embarrassing to admit to, but do you ever just *not* feel like agreeing to disagree? I was in the right and I knew it and I went out of my way to prove my point. I became angry and the angrier I became, the louder I became. Needless to say, he was not amused and let me know so. I was so upset, but I was not willing to back down. He had to leave and as he left, I found myself wanting to "show him" and "teach him a lesson". Now, for those of you wondering, all of these wonderful "red flags" did not phase me one bit. I kept on going. I was determined that I was right. I continued to hold this grudge in my heart and to stay in rebellion until today. I went for my weekly prayer walk. The Lord had whispered into my spirit on Wed. night that, until I repented, He would not answer my prayers. If you crave His Presence and His conversation like I do, you would consider this a grave warning. In my desire to be "right", I completely ignored it. Oh yeah, He might ignore me, but I could pray and ask for forgiveness and all would be right again, right? Wrong! During my prayer walk, the Lord revealed to me that I had to ask my husband's forgiveness, not just His. I called my husband on his cell phone and asked him to forgive me. It was like eating humble pie! I told him, that while I believed I was right in my thinking, the way I had attempted to "convince" him of my rightness was directly against the Lord and was not in any way respectful. OUCH! Why is it that in our attempts to prove ourselves or be "right", we cross over that fine line between being humble and being prideful? I learned an important lesson. It's never okay to hurt someone in an effort to prove you are right........even if they are obnoxiously catty in their responses. Let me just say here, that my husband did not act this way. I have known people that *were* and it was very difficult to admit wrong to them. They perceived that as a weakness and a character flaw rather than a strength and a sign of Godly character. This was not what I was dealing with. After calling my dh, I had to face yet another question. Did I apologize to my husband for my behaviour because I knew I was wrong or did I apologize just so the Lord would speak to my heart again? Being real with the Lord requires more than a surface nod at our flesh. We have to really dig to the root of the problem so we can be in harmony with Him. I am still praying about my motive. I think I had a hidden agenda and have been asking Him to root out that part of my flesh and to help me to conquer my flesh to live for Him. I had *no* clue that I was going to share that, so it is my prayer and hope that someone will be able to benefit from my admission of guilt. There is so much more to write, but I must close as my husband will be home soon to pick me up for our "date". Our kids are older so they get to stay home and watch movies and snack on pizza and soda while we go out. Until next time! |
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Have you ever had writer's block? I've found that most of the times I sit to blog, I have it. I think it's not so much a block as it is just getting the first sentence down. Once I get the first sentence written, I'm fine. Hmmm........interesting. This weekend we went to Hannibal, Mo. for a day of playing and learning about Sam Clemens and other area attractions. It was wonderful. We went to the Mark Twain Cave and enjoyed the cool 50* atmosphere as we were told about different things that had happened in the cave, ranging from the infamous Jesse James hideout to the wild tales that Mark Twain told about 'Injun Joe'. The kids really enjoyed seeing different parts of the cave and learning about the limestone and how the cave was formed. Of course the tour guide's version was that ice caps melted and flooded the ground with water. The cave was supposedly formed this way. However, we know it was the flood that Noah and his family survived that created it. After we went through the cave, we went to the river. We had already decided to ride the riverboat, but my husband surprised us all by having us go on a "dinner cruise". It was costly, but it was a once in a lifetime treasure. I'm sure the kids will remember it for years and years. We brought home lots of souvenirs as well. After our vacation and our long drive home, I was ready to rest. Yesterday I spent most of the day just lounging on the couch and trying to recooperate from the trip. I had fully intended to get back to homeschooling on Monday. By mid-morning, I realized it was a lost cause. I was too tired. I guess this is a good place to interject that I have been diagnosed with Epstein-Barr Virus, most commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I was diagnosed when I was 14 and have battled the enemy of my soul off and on since the diagnosis. I fully believe that the Lord is able to heal me of this and I'm praying and waiting for Him to heal me. With CFS, I am occasionally incapacitated from sheer fatigue. Yesterday I experienced a slight relapse and was unable to do much of anything. I felt pretty awful, but I try to keep a positive attitude. I *know* He is able to heal me. I *know* He will heal me eventually. I *know* this is just for a season. As I tick off the good things and concentrate on them, the bad things are far outweighed and the burden of it lifts. As one of my good friends says, The devil is a liar. I'm still feeling a little sluggish today. I woke up earlier than normal this morning and attempted to get my day underway. I have to admit that the computer is a big hindrance to my time and ability to accomplish things in my home. I *did* get my "junk" drawer cleaned out earlier today though. It's much nicer and even closes like it should. lol I'm currently working on laundry and cleaning the house. We've got so much to get done. I'm going to have to get the house cleaned up and ready for school tomorrow. I have so much to get done before we school tomorrow. I'll probably finish up my paperwork jobs tonight and finish folding laundry and such. I'm so anxious to get this house cleaned and ready though. Well, I believe I'm going to go rest a bit. I'm feeling overwhelmed and run down again. I'm really tired today. I hope everyone is having a good day. |
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We went on a field trip today to a pumpkin farm. It was a warm day, but the breezes made it tolerable. There were pumpkins, rabbits, donkeys, goats and puppies. They even had several patches of sunflowers growing here and there. After feeding the various farm animals, we made our way back to the starting point and waited quietly for the tractor to bring the wagon up. We waited and waited and waited some more. Finally we were told the tour would begin after we went to the wagon and climbed aboard. Up the hill and down the hill, turning sharp corners and finally coming full circle, we passed the pond, a huge patch of pumpkins, the farm animals and a large array of gourds. The scenery did not change much as it was a small area and we had mostly walked through it when we were feeding the animals. It was fun though. The kids noticed that the wagon was filled with strewn straw. With no bales of hay to sit on, we had to sit flat on our behinds. The loose straw was scratchy and "itchy" and the kids thanked me for making them wear jeans in the hot weather. I had a feeling we would encounter hay and stubble. We talked to several of the women there, but they did not respond. There were 2 ladies that did speak to us. They seemed very sweet, but were swallowed up in a small tight-knit group of women. We got the feeling that we were interrupting when we tried to interact with the other ladies. We were disappointed in the lack of fellowship, but realized that the Lord was closing the door to us being more involved in this group. I've prayed and asked the Lord to show us what He wants us to do regarding a homeschool group. In the meantime, I am doing my best to wait upon Him. I had joined this email group and today was one of the first field trips they held. I've been asked to start a group, but I'm a little leery. I am waiting for Him to show me what He wants. We have attempted several times to get involved in area groups. The group that held the field trip today is comprised of mainly younger kids. The kids at their group are all under the age of 8. We just seemed very out of place today. My kids enjoy new experiences, but even they were begging me to go home. After listening to my children and my common sense and realizing we had stayed an appropriate amount of time, we left. I felt resigned to the fact that yet another group (this makes 2) did not work for us. I felt like I had failed somehow in my endeavors to find a good homeschool group. Both groups were not a good fit, but each for different reasons. The original group we belonged to was not a good fit because they started doing a hs coop. (focusing on teaching classes and not on fellowship) The group we attended today is for moms with younger kids. It was a bit discouraging, to say the least. The kids and I *did* enjoy the farm animals and everything else. We are trying to focus on the positive things that happened. It's not really that difficult to do as we were able to pet rabbits. When you pet a soft fluffy rabbit, how on earth can you be sad!?! |
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The wreath on my front door has started looking a little lackluster. Since we planned a trip to walmart for necessities, I thought we'd at least look at what they have set out for fall. We found a beautiful wreath that was fairly inexpensive. It's so pretty. I brought it home and immediately hung it up. It really sets off our front door. While we were shopping, I found a full-length mirror for my daughter's room. She is constantly using mine as she loves to dress up and wants to make sure she gets her accessories "just right". Her efforts to take extra care to look nice remind me to take extra care myself. It seems quite easy to overlook my own appearance when I'm busy with the hustle and bustle of everyday life. We also found some wonderful vanilla-scented candles at walmart. I love the way they make the house smell. I'd also like to find some that are different scents. I haven't settled on a new scent yet and I'm anxious to see what some of the nicer candle stores offer. We had a Yankee candle store, but it's gone out of business. A fresh load of laundry came up from the basement. The new towels look so nice and fluffy. I can hardly wait to use them. I love wrapping up in a nice soft towel after a long bubble bath. It's so warm and inviting. These new towels are also long enough for my tall strong guys to wrap up in. Later this week we're taking a trip to a local farm. There's supposed to be a hayride, petting zoo, straw maze.......and all sorts of other wonderful activities. The kids also get to each bring a pumpkin home. I'm really looking forward to going. I'd like to get some pictures of the kids enjoying their first field trip of the year. Speaking of field trips, we'd like to make a trip to Springfield, Illinios to see Abraham Lincoln's home. I'd love to go through it and spend a weekend in Springfield, just enjoying the sights and taking in the scenery. I love travelling and this would combine travelling and a field trip. How fun! I *have* to get this place cleaned up before my husband gets home. I love it when it's all nice and clean and smells fantastic. Hopefully, I'll be able to get things put away before he gets home. Hope everyone has a wonderful evening. |
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There is something so relaxing about listening to water. I am sitting here, listening to the sounds of water bubbling and gurgling. After the day I've had, the comforting sounds of water are very welcoming. It's not the same as a jacuzzi, but my water "machine" is very soothing to my occasional jangled nerves. Today was just a very rushed, hurried day. I felt very pushed most of the day and was glad to be home and to rest. We started out by taking care of the van. We needed to pick up a headlight and get the oil changed. It was nice to be alone with my husband and to be able to enjoy silence. We finished taking care of the van and went to pick the kids up. We drove to a nearby town and shopped in some specialty shops. My son was able to get some new wheels for his skateboard. He was thrilled to be able to find some decent wheels. We haven't been able to afford much in the way of extras for the kids. I was glad we were able to get the kids one thing a piece. It was nice to surprise them with a gift. We went out to eat and I evidently ate something I shouldn't have. I had an allergic reaction and started rashing out. We drove to a gas station, but couldn't get dye free benadryl there. I was trying to rash out really bad and my throat was itching. Not a good sign. We then drove to walmart and my husband went to the pharmacy and talked with the pharmacist. Would you believe they had to call several pharmacies to find dye free benadryl? There was only one pharmacy in town that had it. I was told they consider it a "seasonal" item. When we got home, I came inside and just walked through the house leaving behind my shoes, socks, purse and shopping bags. I made my way to my bed and crawled in it. I was so tired from the medicine that I crashed! I was simply exhausted! I woke up and felt much better, although still somewhat groggy. I am hoping tomorrow will be a much nicer day! On a brighter note.............we have a wonderful field trip coming up this week and the kids and I are very excited. We're looking forward to the pumpkins and being out on a farm. I've been told it's really a wonderful farm to tour. I'm hoping we can go and just enjoy the day. No phone ringing, noone banging on our front door................ahhhhh, blessed peace! lol Well, the master of the house goeth to sleepeth. I suppose I should be in bed myself. I am hoping tomorrow will be much more pleasant for me. lol Hopefully, no more hives and a lot more peace. |
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This week has been something else. I woke up Monday morning with a terrific headache. I had stayed up too late the night before, woke up too early and suffered greatly from it. Someone should have reminded me that staying up late is not smart! I made it through Monday, but we declared it a non-school day due to my terrific headache. This reminds me of why I'm to be careful with what I do. It might *seem* like an innocent activity but if it throws my family out of kilter, it's not. I had been up way too late with a book that I "couldn't put down". It was an excellent book, but not worth what follows. Tuesday (yesterday) we *all* woke up late. The rains came through and it was so dark outide and quiet............we all slept soundly. I woke up and realized that my headache was a full blown migraine. I managed to sit up most of the morning. My head continued to throb and I decided to go ahead and take some medicine. I waited til dh got home for lunch and ate a bit, then slipped into bed and stayed there for 4 solid hours. The medicine I took caused me to sleep soundly for that long. I woke up and moved around cautiously. My mind and body had trouble working together. I was literally swaying while I was walking and my children were trying to help me get seated. This morning I awoke late..........still with a headache, though decidedly not as bad as the one I had yesterday. I got up and managed to make it through the day without feeling too terribly bad. I am still a bit woozy from the medicine. I'm learning as I go. Sometimes I seemingly innocent thing can cause much havoc. It's wise to use restraint and to lean towards moderation. Had I done that, my week might very well have turned out differently. I am so thankful for His mercy and forgiveness. I do not want to be one of His children that has to learn "the hard way". |
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What was I thinking!?! Several days ago, my sweet daughter asked if she could have a sleepover. We set a date and agreed that she could indeed have some friends over to spend the night. Yesterday was the day. Her little friends came armed with sleeping bags, packs of clothes and silly grins, giggles and whispers about what a wonderful evening they were going to have. I wasn't at all sure I shared their enthusiasm, but had already agreed to the sleepover. I did my best to act thrilled that they were here and to be hospitable. I questioned myself and my lack of enthusiasm at their presence. Was I just tired? Partially. The week was filled with several ups and down. Normal life, but wearing nonetheless. I longed for solitude. Yes, that was the cause of my hesitancy. I longed for peace and simple solitude. The girls continued their sleepover with numerous rounds of giggles, a movie, pizza and of course more giggles to top the evening off. Just when I thought they would never settle down, they collapsed on their pillows and talked in muted whispers. I could finally settle into bed. I promptly went to bed after tucking everyone in and was awakened a short time later by my husband's rustling in the sheets. He had just returned from the "girl zone" where he'd had to get after them for all their giggling and sleeplessness. It seems while I was resting, they were happily playing and laughing. This would have been an expected thing.........had it not been at 1 a.m.! My husband assured me that he had quitened them down and we all went to sleep. I awoke late and attempted to lift my aching head off of the pillow. No. It would not budge. It was too heavy. The need to use the restroom won out and I had to get up and pray the pounding would stop. My throat was tight and ached from sleeping so hard. As I made my way to the restroom, I carefully stepped over the debris from the sleepover...............sleeping bags strewn throughout the living room...........a pair of pillows that had been unknowingly been walked on by giggling girls............and a small quilt I had made for my daughter to use to cover her beloved stuffed animals. After walking back through the sleepover debris, I found my way to the coffee. Ahhhhhhhhh...........coffee! Hot and steamy, it would definitely help ease the achiness in my throat. The warm liquid slid gently and effortlessly down my throat, soothing the sore spots and comforting my headache. Somehow I managed to wake up and get the living room back into some sort of semblance. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the living room come back to life as they filed into it after eating their breakfasts. The girls collected their sleeping bags, pillows and things and managed not to giggle hysterically while doing it. I was amazed. As the girls left, carrying their things home, my husband realized that I needed a time of peace. He put my eldest son in charge of the house, told me to get dressed and ready to go and went to start the van and get it cooled down for me. I quickly dressed and my youngest son brought me my tennis shoes and socks. I thanked him and proceeded to finish dressing by putting on my tennis shoes. He wandered off to his room and I picked up my cell phone and headed out the door, telling the kids as I went to be sure to call my cell phone or their dad's, if they needed us. We wouldn't be gone too long. As I swung the door open and crawled into the cool van seat, my husband informed me that he had to check on a job he was doing and then we would go for a drive. We went to the jobsite and he got out and talked to the homeowner. While they talked, I dug through a backpack I had brought. It was loaded with books I wanted to finish reading and a word puzzle book. I occasionally work on them to relax. I quickly pulled it out and opened it to a puzzle that was just waiting for me to start on it. Soon my husband returned and was ready to go. As I set my puzzle book aside, I mentally tried to figure out where he was taking me. I knew we were going to the bank, but what other adventures lay ahead for me? I was anxious to find out. I wouldn't have to wait long to discover His plan. As we drove towards the bank, we both noticed a small bright orange sign in front of a house. Garage Sale! As my husband quickly circled the block, my mind started whirling. What wonderful treasures would we find? We parked the van and walked toward the house. I had just mentioned to my husband the church's need for a baby's changing table. Lo and behold, there was one in front of me. A solid wood changing table with a sticker price of five dollars. Hm...what's wrong with it, I wondered. I reached out and gave it a little shake. Nope, no movement, no wobbling. I asked the young man sitting outside of his home, what was wrong with it. He smiled and said, "I was blessed with it. It was given to me for nothing and I felt like I should bless someone else with it as cheap as I could." My jaw fell. I had certainly not anticipated that answer. My face grew flush with embarrassment. I had learned to keep my guard up and to expect others to take advantage of me. Someone actually trying to bless his fellow man had not even crossed my mind. Once again the Lord had to remind me that He was in control and He was providing for us. He also reminded me that He has people all over the world who are truly good people that would not take advantage of others. After paying for my newfound treasures, I loaded them quickly into the van and we headed off to the bank. My husband went in while I sat contentedly in the van, working on my puzzle book and whiling away my time as I searched for what appeared to be a growing number of words. Suddenly he appeared and we were off again. After several more stops, we headed home with quite a few new goodies to decorate our home and bless our family with. As we pulled into the driveway, we saw our little girl with her friend swinging on the swing. They were giggling and talking. I realized I was ready to be home. I was ready to enjoy them and their laughter and silly antics. I also was ready to rest from my morning's activities. Inside the kids tore through their goodies and I sorted through things we'd found for our home. As I sorted and washed and put away, I realized the importance of resting. Sometimes He just longs for us to rest in Him. I am always so busy with the daily activities that I forget to rest. There is laundry to do, dishes to wash, clothes to hang, floors to scrub and our spirits that need to rest and refresh themselves in Him. In our busy world of running and going and doing, we often overlook one of the most important things. That's our need to rest in the Father and to refresh ourselves in Him. As I stood there and watched the girls from the front door, they were lost in play in the yard. They did not notice my presence at the door. I watched them as they played and giggled and sat on the swing talking, oblivious to problems and to-do lists. Their swinging and laughter reminded me that I, too, need to just relax and play sometimes. I suppose you could say that my daughter and I were both blessed this weekend by her overnight company. Whatever you do this weekend (or don't do), remember to rest and refresh yourself in Christ. |
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Have you ever noticed when you aren't feeling well, you seem to succumb more easily to things thrown at you by the enemy? Today was a do-nothing day at our house. I was feeling a bit under the weather and decided to just rest today. After spending our morning trying to decide whether or not to take the day off, I took the plunge and gave them the day off. I really wanted to tear into homeschool, but my mind simply would not cooperate. The kids were very sweet and gave me permission to have a sick day. I kept trying to push through, but hit a stone wall. Finally, I caved. They went and played video games and I laid on the couch and played online a bit. I finally sank back into the couch and just vegged. By now you might be wondering about the question I posed at the beginning of this blog. I'm getting to that. A dear friend of mine came online and asked me to celebrate with her. A serious need of theirs was being met by a close church friend. She was so thrilled and I honestly thought I was rejoicing with her. However.........a small nagging thought kept creeping into my mind. We have needs, too. Had He forgotten us? Trying to shove the thoughts aside, I listened intently as she continued to gush about the wonderful ways the Lord was providing for them. The list grew and grew and finally, I succumbed and did the unthinkable. I complained to the Lord. I listed off a few of the things we needed and even added in some wants. After realizing what I was doing, I stopped and repented. It was hard to catch myself and stop. I wanted to complain. I was no different than she was. Why did she get all the blessings while I had to wait? Ouch! Comparing my thoughts to the fruit of the Spirit sure put a damper on my pity party. I had to repent and realize that I had allowed myself to walk into a huge trap set by the enemy. While I was truly thrilled for my friend, I was having a head-on collision between my flesh and His Spirit within me. Had my friend come to me yesterday with her wonderful news, would I have rejoiced? Would I have battled the green-eyed monster of jealousy? Interesting questions that I cannot answer. It didn't happen yesterday, it happened today. However, I dare say that feeling poorly certainly seemed to have weakened my ability to fight off the enemy's attack. The pastor preached an incredible message yesterday. Part of his sermon was about bearing fruit. What kind of fruit are you bearing? Is it good fruit or is it bad fruit? His sermon really touched my spirit and made me look at some of the "good works" I do. If it's a good work, but not what He wants you to do.........is it *really* a good work? Mulling over the sermon caused me to think about my reaction to my friend. Was I truly rejoicing with her? I am still pondering this question in my heart. I haven't honestly been able to answer it yet. I have prayed and repented and just consider this to be a slight detour on my journey to the Heart of the Father. I am so thankful for His forgiveness and that His mercies are new every morning. |