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Have you ever noticed when you aren't feeling well, you seem to succumb more easily to things thrown at you by the enemy? Today was a do-nothing day at our house. I was feeling a bit under the weather and decided to just rest today. After spending our morning trying to decide whether or not to take the day off, I took the plunge and gave them the day off. I really wanted to tear into homeschool, but my mind simply would not cooperate. The kids were very sweet and gave me permission to have a sick day. I kept trying to push through, but hit a stone wall. Finally, I caved. They went and played video games and I laid on the couch and played online a bit. I finally sank back into the couch and just vegged. By now you might be wondering about the question I posed at the beginning of this blog. I'm getting to that. A dear friend of mine came online and asked me to celebrate with her. A serious need of theirs was being met by a close church friend. She was so thrilled and I honestly thought I was rejoicing with her. However.........a small nagging thought kept creeping into my mind. We have needs, too. Had He forgotten us? Trying to shove the thoughts aside, I listened intently as she continued to gush about the wonderful ways the Lord was providing for them. The list grew and grew and finally, I succumbed and did the unthinkable. I complained to the Lord. I listed off a few of the things we needed and even added in some wants. After realizing what I was doing, I stopped and repented. It was hard to catch myself and stop. I wanted to complain. I was no different than she was. Why did she get all the blessings while I had to wait? Ouch! Comparing my thoughts to the fruit of the Spirit sure put a damper on my pity party. I had to repent and realize that I had allowed myself to walk into a huge trap set by the enemy. While I was truly thrilled for my friend, I was having a head-on collision between my flesh and His Spirit within me. Had my friend come to me yesterday with her wonderful news, would I have rejoiced? Would I have battled the green-eyed monster of jealousy? Interesting questions that I cannot answer. It didn't happen yesterday, it happened today. However, I dare say that feeling poorly certainly seemed to have weakened my ability to fight off the enemy's attack. The pastor preached an incredible message yesterday. Part of his sermon was about bearing fruit. What kind of fruit are you bearing? Is it good fruit or is it bad fruit? His sermon really touched my spirit and made me look at some of the "good works" I do. If it's a good work, but not what He wants you to do.........is it *really* a good work? Mulling over the sermon caused me to think about my reaction to my friend. Was I truly rejoicing with her? I am still pondering this question in my heart. I haven't honestly been able to answer it yet. I have prayed and repented and just consider this to be a slight detour on my journey to the Heart of the Father. I am so thankful for His forgiveness and that His mercies are new every morning. |
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