Can you believe it's JUNE!?!?!  I can't!  I am amazed!  I'm glad summer is here, don't get me wrong! BUT JUNE!?!?! Already!?!?!  I must be getting older.   The seasons seem to pass more quickly.

So many different things have happened. I'm not even sure where to start!  I suppose at the beginning. lol  For the last several yrs, I've been working flylady's system as closely as possible. I've been doing my best to keep up with it, but there have been times when I've slipped. I'm still a work in progress, but I *am* seeing remarkable improvements! Insomuch that I have hired someone to come in and help me clean so I can declutter more. I've drawn a lot of criticism over that choice, but I'm of the mindset that it really isn't anyone's business but my own. Dh doesn't have a problem with it..........therefore, it's all good!

I've been through enough things in the last several months to choke a horse. I've gone through my mother's hospitalization and the possibility of losing her to heaven to realizing that family members and friends that I thought loved me and wanted my best...........in actuality did not. I've grown up in innumerable ways and had to face some cold hard facts of life. Amazingly, but in the process, I've found myself. I've found what I can tolerate and will tolerate and what I won't tolerate. I've found that sometimes it's better to walk away from someone than to sit there and put myself through a mess because they don't know how to interact decently with people.

I've also found that, while there are some people that I would LOVE to be kind to and be friends with..........at this point in my life, I'm not able to deal with them. I'm not strong enough to handle loving them unconditionally. Or maybe it's that I'm not weak enough to allow Christ to shine through me towards them. I'm learning and if that offends people, it's THEIR problem. 

One of the most important things I've learned is to be nice to myself and to realize my limitations. I'm learning. I think that's one of the key things with Flylady's system...............loving yourself.  You can't reach out to others and help them without taking care of yourself first and having something to offer them. I thought you were supposed to give and give and give so more. That's a lie straight from the pits of hell. You cannot give until you receive.

The Lord showed me something so awesome.  I was going through a situation and I was having a hard time with it. I have always had issues with one particular person. I used to think it was me, until others spoke up and I realized it wasn't me. It was this difficult person in my life. Anyway, I was praying because I was going to be spending time with this person. I needed His Guidance and Comfort to get through it. So I said, Well, I have to do this!  I have to be around this person. I can't get out of it. It was then that it hit me like a lightning bolt.  If I am around someone that I walk away from and sin because they upset me and I get so aggravated about their presence, that does NOT honor God. I cannot be honoring Him when I'm in sin. 

Until I am strong enough to be around certain people, I have to love them from a distance. I can pray for them, (and should)  think about them in a positive way and wish the best of God's provisions for them. That does NOT mean I have to be around them and put myself in a situation where I am allowing the enemy to beat me up through them!  I'm really learning to respect myself and not allow others to disrespect me. I am not a punching bag for rude people that have nothing better to do than verbally or emotionally abuse another person.

If you're reading this and thinking seriously about pointing out any flaws in this blog, please don't. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I felt like I could stand up for myself and your experience is, I'm sure, different than mine. Did Jesus put up with all kinds of junk? Yes, He did.  However, just because Jesus did it does not mean I have attained heavenly perfection yet as He had. It does not mean that I am totally perfected in Him and able to withstand all that He did. I have not reached that point and neither have you. If you had, you would be in heaven...............where all the perfected saints are.

I am simply doing what works for ME.   

Well, it's a wonderful day and I'm off to find out the hours for the pool we occasionally go to. I'm hoping to take the kids and get them out of the house. I want to go swimming so bad! I love the water and enjoy just floating and relaxing in the water. I'd rather swim than eat. LOL  

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