Dec. 17, 2007 A Camouflage Heart
I've had a couple of people ask if we're a military family, so I thought I'd give you the full story. You may want to grab some popcorn.
I grew up in an Army family. My dad was in Vietnam before I was born. I stopped counting how many times we moved, but I know I went to at least 13 different schools, five of them in high school. My dad has since retired from the Army.
I met and married my husband when he and my dad were both stationed in Germany. I was about a year out of high school and was visiting my parents...three years later I came back to the states with a husband and baby. My husband had picked up a little combat experience that last year in Desert Storm. He's been out of the Army since '92.
A few years later we're all in the States and my sister marries a soldier, they go to Germany, take a side trip to Turkey, back to Germany and finally back to the States. Like me, she had her oldest in Germany. They're now out of the Army as well.
September 11...
My brother joins the Air Force. He's almost halfway through his tour in Korea. His wife and sons are waiting for him in the States.
So, the answer is no, we're not a military family. But, we're not exactly civilians either. Having grown up in the military, well, that's my family you're watching on the news every night and even though I know it isn't rational, I feel guilty because I'm here and not there. I'm safe at home in my civilian life instead of helping.
Military kids grow up to be very idealistic. Every time we had to move or our parent was away or we missed our grandparents we were told we were doing it because the Army needed us to. And we were in the Army because America needed us. So, every sacrifice we made was "for America" at least in our young minds. Growing up that way you can tend to expect a lot out of yourself. Even now I have trouble doing something if I don't know the big reason why. What's it all for? Who does it benefit? I need an overriding sense of purpose. I don't usually get one. All I know is, there is a 'mission' to be carried out and I'm not doing my part.
My brother-in-law once made a comment to my husband about his being a civilian now that he was out of the Army. At the same time we both replied, "not a civilian, a veteran". There is something about being in the military that forever ties you to that life, at least for most of us.
But, what if I didn't come from a military family? Should I give any less support to our troops? I know the military isn't perfect, nor are the individuals serving there (I know this because I did grow up with them, lol). But, anyone who is willing to stand between me and the bad guys is getting my full cooperation and support and so are their families. My having been raised in a military family should really have nothing to do with it. I find it sad that my support for the troops made people think we are military. Shouldn't everyone be supporting the troops? The suicide rates in the Army are currently the highest they've been since the Army started keeping records. I don't think a blog button and a 'thank you' are too much to ask.
So, the answer is no, we're not a military family. On the other hand, there's a reason you see a camouflage heart in my sidebar. It looks a lot like my own.
Thank you to Free To Fly for the gift of the flag.
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I came across this post at One Mom's View and was wondering if anyone here had a comment to add. In the years since we left the military I have had opportunity to help in practical ways the families of deployed service members, especially before we moved and were still living in a military town. Without fail my offers of help were met with a "no thank you". We offered to mow yards, babysit, buy dinner, etc. The only offers of help that were accepted were ones for my mechanic husband to work on their car. I don't have to tell you how hard it is to find a good mechanic, so this one I understood.
I also understand that everyone handles the deployment and stress in their own way. Some want company and some don't . Some become much more independent when their husband is gone and would rather do things themselves. Sometimes the offer of help just doesn't come at a good time. Some would rather have help from family. And then there's the point that we're not military. Many would rather have help from someone who understands what they're going through.
But, some of this , I suspect, is just moms wanting to take care of everyone else, as we always do, and not want anyone to take care of them. We often find it hard to ask for or accept help even when we need it. When you know your husband is in constant danger and you are the one holding the family together you just don't feel like you can let yourself get needy. You learn to do things yourself because you don't know when the next offer of help will come and you can't afford to become dependent on others. OK, so I'm analyzing now, I really don't know. I do know that my friends welcomed my offers to send things to thier spouses overseas, but did not accept my offers to help them here at home.
So, all of you who are in military families, what kind of help would you like? Who do you like to receive help from? When is the best time to offer help? When would you rather be given some space and not be treated differently just because your spouse is away? Have I way overstepped my bounds by even writing this post? Help us out, we want to hear from you. And we want to help. |
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Sep. 10, 2007 To A Soldier
| Someday I will point to pictures in yellowed newspapers and tell my grandchildren where I was. A small tear will fall and they will become concerned. And I will tell them the story again. Three planes. Two towers. One friend at the Pentagon.
Someday they will show an anniversary memorial and more tears will fall. Because I cannot stop them. And I won’t have to tell the story because my face will tell it for me.
Someday there will be a documentary on television and I will tell again the story of newscasts and turning them off and then on again and then off; not knowing who to believe and not wanting to believe. And I will tell the story of real people behind those newscasts.
Someday I will pull out a notebook with prayers inside. And another tear will fall, but a smile will escape as well. And I’ll tell the story again of early morning prayers and church prayers and middle of the night prayers.
Someday I will pull out cards and letters and I will tell the story of heroes. I will tell of red, white and blue stickers placed on Christmas cards in October so they would get there in time. And I will tell the story of thank you notes that made us feel ashamed that we couldn’t do more.
Someday I will tell the story of scrapbook pages full of Army green and Air Force Blue. But, they won’t understand that story, not all of it, because you have to be Green or Blue to understand. But they will still be proud.
Someday they will read history books, but I won’t be able to because it will be too painful to see the story reduced to a chapter in a textbook. I will tell them the story myself.
Someday they will run off and play, my grandchildren, after I have finished my story. And they will not have a care in the world because you made sure the story had a happy ending.
Someday I will point to pictures in yellowed newspapers and tell them where I was. And I will tell them where you were. And a tear will fall. |
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Aug. 5, 2007 Support The Troops
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!
–Benjamin Franklin
Happy 4th everybody...and a special thanks to those who keep us "well armed"...
ht:BraveWriter |
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