I have found myself so unmotivated for the last few weeks. We worked very hard to redo the kitchen and living room several weeks ago...and I had hopes that the redo would motivate us all to keep it picked up and clean, but I was wrong. It stayed nice for a while but now it's just ick.

I'm gone from home quite a bit right now, 6-7 hours on days that I have to take FIL for his treatments, and with the farm related work that we *have to do* it seems that I just cannot find time to do what I need/want to do inside. It's to the point of needing more than just maintenance, and I can't even seem to make myself start on the days that I am able to stay home.

I checked out Flylady's book, Sink Reflections, from the library  hoping that would motivate me...but I haven't even been able to force myself to dig into it.

A few years ago I used my timer daily. I would set the timer for 30-45 minutes and work diligently during that time..then I would set it for another 15-30 minutes to take a break (most of the time online). That worked really well for me, maybe because I knew that there would be an end and a *reward*. Kind of like a child, huh?

Along with the timer, I developed a system of cleaning...starting at one end and working to the other, doing things in each room. Most of the time it would take around an hour of  working to be completely done with the indoor things (minus laundry..). I don't expect that to be the case while I'm trying to recover the house though.

So, I've decided that I'm going to dig out the timer...tomorrow.  My husband will be taking FIL for his treatment tomorrow and Friday(I've been doing it even when he could to *bless* him...but right now I just need to be home  ), so I will have Thursday-Saturday to accomplish what needs to be done. He will leave at 6:30am each morning, and be home between 12:30 and 1:30. I will need to work diligently during that time because he will have things that he needs our help with when he gets home.

I'm thinking that I need to stay offline some...I've been using it, along with movies, as an escape lately. I am not going to punish myself though...don't really feel like I've been naughty or negligent..just going through some tough things right now and it's effecting different areas of my life which, in turn, has pushed me to seek escapes. Not saying it's healthy...but it is what it is.

I sat down earlier to make a list of things that need to be done, but I didn't get very far. I think it might be better if I just pick a room to start in, and work through it. None of them are horrible, but look a bit neglected.

I'm also not sure about enlisting the help of the boys. Sometimes that works out great, but sometimes it's just better if I do the work myself...and when I am done I can show them the results, explain their responsibility and walk away. Now is probably one of those times...I'm thinking that I may have them do certain jobs before I send them out, and then I will *do my thing* afterward.

Maybe I will update later, or tomorrow, with a list of things to do...for today, laundry needs to be caught up so that won't be part of the list.

seems there was some kind of misunderstanding and my father in law actually has 8 more treatments...a whole week more than we had thought.

Also, he's having headaches again...horrible, painful headaches...and dizziness, along with nausea and vomiting. This isn't good. They put him back on the steroids which have their own side effects.

We spoke with the oncology radiologist's nurse about a follow up scan, and she said that they are so *confident* in the effectiveness of the treatments that they do not do that. He is over halfway through the treatments and having headaches and dizziness...but even if they did a scan I'm not sure there is anything that they could do.

We ask for continued prayers for him, and my mother in law. Her health isn't good either.

Clementine is the name of my Alpine doe, and, yes, I do sing this song to her when I go to milk her. We bought her a couple of weeks ago so that we could have goat milk. She's 3-4 yo (I cannot remember now), was living on the farm where she was born, had two babies still nursing, and had never been milked before when we bought her. The first few days were rough...

She's calmed down quite a bit. She doesn't kick the milk bucket now. She had been eating from my hand the latter part of last week, but she is moody and when she gets mad at me she won't come near me. Right now she is mad at me...

Getting her on the milk stand is sooo much fun....NOT. Generally we have to run her into her stall, and then she will allow us to put her on the leash.

We are getting around a quart from her (more or less), and I am satisfied with that considering the situation. We will breed her this fall...

We also purchased a Nubian doe, and buckling (unrelated to each other). I named the doe Agatha, calling her Aggie. She's not overly friendly, and she had not been milked when we bought her. She has learned that milkstand=food though, and jumps up readily. She also isn't as skittish, and stands pretty still during the whole thing. Yesterday I milked Clemmy second, and she jumped up on the stand behind Clem *waiting in line* for her turn at the food.

The buckling is 3months old and his name is "Billy Boy" ...I had been calling him Cracker Jack, but he's the only buck we have and Lander named him after *Billy Boy* in the cartoon....remember, "Ole Billy Boy's back, back, back..."
The plan is to breed the Alpine and the Nubian with this buck this fall. Looking at him now I cannot imagine him breeding anything...he's just a wee little baby that likes to snuggle with *mama*.

None of these animals were expensive, and none of them are registered or show quality. We had discussed having goats to clear off the land, and I had wanted dairy goats. We made the decision to purchase these goats to try it out...and knew that it wouldn't really be a waste if they didn't work out because they would still clear the land. I have found that I do enjoy milking them, and hopefully next year I can start building a herd of registered goats...either Alpine, Nubian, or LaMancha.

My husband wants to buy Boer goats...they are popular in our area, much more so than dairy breeds for some reason.

We also have a pygmy doe named Nancy...and we are going to borrow a buck to breed her with this fall. Pygmy's are another popular breed in this area.

So, now you know the truth...I've become a goatie addict.

He has 5 treatments left, the rest of this week and then two days of next week. They immediately began to help with the headaches, balance issues, and dizziness.

 He started losing his hair after the second week of treatments, so I took him to his daughter's house to have it shaved off. He's bought a few hats for sun protection.

His health is not good. He cannot walk around at the hospital, and we have to push him in a wheelchair. He tires easily. I know that he fears death approaching, not what comes after, but leaving. He worries about his wife, and what will happen to her in the future. She is in poor health as well, and does not drive. He knows that we will make sure she is cared for...but you know how it would be, nobody can care for her the way that he does.

Only God knows what is to come, and we try to rest in that knowledge and trust in Him. Sometimes it's hard not to let worry overwhelm you...

I wish it were a good one, but we have gotten some bad news. He now has more *nodules* in his lungs, a lesion on his liver (which is presumed to be cancer), and a tumor in his brain. He starts radiation for the brain cancer tomorrow...

Please pray for him, and all of us, if God brings it to your mind.

I'm such a computer dunce that I had to stop blogging because I couldn't figure out how to delete my cookies in order to reset my password.  Thankfully a dear sister helped me out with that one...

I have much to update on, most of it boring though, and I hope to make time to do that later today or in the morning.

Nice to be back to bloggin...

A couple of days ago (remember way back when it was beautiful outside instead of rainy and cold?) my husband and I went for a walk. He wanted to show me what he had been working on. We walked toward the field where the goat is and down around the rail fence to a stand of cedars. Well, there used to be a stand of cedars...I guess there still is, but lots of them are down.

Bless his heart, he showed me every single tree that he cut. He talked about the plans he has for the logs (hopefully part of them will be walls for our home). He talked about some having more red than others, and on and on...

Then he took me toward the barn where he proceeded to show me more cedar logs that he had drug out, and more stumps where he had cut trees.

I think I married a lumberjack at heart.

At one time in our marriage I would have seriously made fun of him. I'm not talking about the poking fun, like the comment about him being a lumberjack, he is good hearted and likes to tease so that would not bother him. I mean *serious* degrading comments. I would have made him feel stupid...and I am not sure why, though doesn't that usually stem from a need to feel superior??

At one time in our marriage I would have simply told him I didn't care, and that he could *do his thing while I do mine*. Wow...how many women say that and then are left sitting back not knowing why their men are not spending time with them or the children? Sometimes we need to fake it...and as one friend would suggest, wait for the feelings of interest to come. Be a good faker...

There are events in the past that would have played out differently had I let my husband lead, or at least supported him in his ideas. I know of many times that he mentioned a desire for something, or a thought to change something and I *shot him down*. Trying to please me, he listened to me...and I was too stupid to shut my mouth.

 We are very different creatures, and only God in heaven would have paired us up. We looked doomed from the start. Maybe at one point we would have been, but God is good, and He can help a heart to change and grow. *He* is the tie that binds us...Now we have a wonderful relationship, and not just one that appears to be so due to a domineering wife and a submissive/passive husband who loves her.

Wow, that went on a trip that I hadn't planned to trek...oh well, I will leave it as is. It was what was in my heart, and someday I am sure I will enjoy rereading it.

When we woke up this morning it was cloudy and gray. We expected rain, and it came...so no farm work. Lander and I both needed haircuts, so we decided we would just have a day out, get the haircuts and do some shopping.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, the weather cleared up shortly after we got to town. The boys and I went to the used bookstore while Lander was getting his haircut. I found some more Childhood of Famous Americans books, which I was thrilled about, plus some more great history books, and some books just for fun.

After we were finished there they guys dropped me off to get my hair cut and went shopping. That didn't take very long...

We decided that we would go on a picnic and to the museum since the day was so beautiful. I wish I had taken my camera, maybe some day I will learn to carry it all the time. I seem to miss a lot of good stuff because I only take it with me for really special things.

We grabbed a bucket of chicken from KFC and went to the park. They have a beautiful shaded area with picnic tables. It was really just a beautiful day to be out and enjoy nature. While we were eating, a squirrel sat on his tree watching us...waiting for a bite of biscuit. He was so cute, and again, I wish I had my camera with me. We would throw him a bite and he would come within a few feet of us to get it.

When we finished eating we walked down to the edge of the stream, looked at the little fishies, skipped rocks, jumped over the stream in spots...just had fun.

Then we went on to the museum. There isn't a lot to see there. They have been remodeling, and...well...there just isn't a lot to see there. We watched a little movie about the nearby cave (which has a really cool story behind it). They also have a great movie about Daniel Boone, but two of the boys didn't want to sit through it because we have seen it before.

The younger two boys wanted whistles, one a penny whistle, the other a signal whistle, so daddy kindly bought those for them and then we headed outside.

They have a small *model* cabin and stocks on the grounds, so we isnpected them. The guys began talking about building stocks here at home, and we already have a small cabin (log chicken house that is unused by the chickens who seem to prefer the Virginia rail fence and trees to roost in) that they have been given permission to convert into a *play cabin*. I love that they are able to *play out* history. It really cements it in their minds.

After we finished there we headed toward home. We talked about making this a history summer, and trying to visit all the nearby historical parks/museums on day trips. I am thinking that we will make scrapbooks...doesn't that sound like FUN?

I think our next trip will be to the cave, if weather is nice next Saturday, and if it's not we are going to visit the Abraham Lincoln Library and Museum.

Last week we went for a walk down into the woods behind our barn. My *men* are handling me with kid-gloves lately because of my *illness*, so my oldest held my hand all the way, making sure to take me on the easiest travelled path. I love the attention, and I am so proud of how we have raised them, to care for others...their wives will be very blessed indeed.

My husband wanted to show me the spring. It had almost dried up, but he's cleaned it out, and with lots of wet weather it is now flowing. He's so proud of this place, and so thankful. It just makes me happy to listen to him ramble about what he is doing and what he plans to do.

Here's a pic...

Apparently the weather effects me much more than I ever realized, or it is affecting me more now than it used to, because I find myself feeling *full* inside when we have these beautiful DRY spring days. I feel renewed and energized...and hopeful.

Snow is beautiful, but after snow comes mud...at least here on the farm anyway. The snow only lasts a day or two, and then we have a week or more of nasty mud. My mood matches, disgusting, depressed, and ugly.

School is going well, but it seems that each time I make a decision something happens to change it. So goes life though, huh?

We've been making frequent visits to the library lately, reading lots of books about lots of different things. Somehow it all ends up connecting in the end so I am not doing a lot of directing. So funny to be *studying* Egypt, but have children who are reading books on knights, the civil war, spies, and Don Quixote. That's the way it goes though.

My oldest and I made a trip out a few days ago. I love going out with my children alone. The conversation is very different one on one than it is if there are brothers tagging along OR if dad is with us.

We went to the library and browsed their movies, picked up some holds (very much loving our library system and *FREE* interlibrary loans right now), and looked through the books. This library is not the one we usually go to, so it was fun to see what they had, and with it being so small it didn't take us long to browse.

Today we went to the hospital for my abdominal ultrasound. The lady who took my info complimented me on my boys. She said that most children wouldn't stand quietly and wait.  Well, it made me feel good anyway.

After the ultrasound we went by the library, but it was packed. We didn't know that they had storytime during that time, and we couldn't even find a parking place...so we decided to go have lunch. I was realllly hungry because I wasn't allowed to eat after midnight. The boys picked Long John Silver's...yummm...GREASEY deep fried fish!!

Then after lunch we tried the library again. Thankfully there was at least a place to park this time, but the library was full of 1-3yo's. It looked like the party was breaking up, so we decided to wait around. Now, I will say, I have nothing against a bunch of 1-3yo's...but, our libraries are generally empty and quiet, so it was different. Plus, the place that my children generally use was occupied and they were kind of at a loss and stuck to my shirt-tail.

We hit the jackpot though, lots of books on all the things that we are interested in. I had to limit them...we have been going every week so it isn't like they can't pick up more the next time.

Oldest is very into the Civil War right now. He's very intrigued at the inaccuracies of most stories about Abraham Lincoln and the causes of the war. He's writing a *historical fiction* novel about a 14-15yo boy who lied about his age in order to join in the battle. Our house is full of all sorts of books on the subject, some we own, and some we have borrowed from our library. I'm anxious to see where this leads.

And now I am here, wasting time. My tummy is sore from all the mashing that the tech did, and I'm being a big baby. I don't even have a supper plan for today...not even an inkling of what I might fix.

Lander is off tomorrow, and my plan is to go get my hair cut. It's getting so long that the flip won't stay in it...aggravating. I'm not taking a before pic, but maybe I'll post an after one.

The boys want to go with me so they can visit the used book store again. Not sure what Lander's plans are...he's still cutting down trees and plowing up dirt.

Went to have my abdominal ultrasound done today, and the tech saw a stone...a large stone, he said. I told him that I had not been having attacks, though I do have times when I am in pain and know it's my gall bladder. He says it's because the larger stones are *stuck* and the smaller stones are the ones that cause the pain because they are trying to get through the tube. Makes sense to me...

I go to see my doctor on Friday, and I'm sure that she is going to tell me that the gall bladder needs to come out. She tried to get me to have it taken out before, and I didn't. I have lots of questions to ask her, and she will have to convince me of it being a necessity before I will agree.

I go to see the cardiologist on March 8. I've had two more episodes since the visit for the echo.

Sometimes I feel silly for being so concerned when others have so much more on their plates, but...I am concerned.

So, if you think of me, please say a prayer. Thanks!

The group that my husband and my oldest son play in is going to be on the radio today. I just thought that was cool...

They have been together for a few years...started as one group, grew, split...now parts of that group are back together. They play bluegrass gospel strictly...in public anyway. My husband has been known to cut down on Foggy Mountain Breakdown...umm...pretty frequently.

My husband plays the banjo, Andy plays the bass, Allen plays mandolin, and Junior plays guitar. They all sing...and they all have written songs...even Andy (my eldest son).

They will be making their first CD in a few weeks.

I'm proud that they have a way to minister, and spread the gospel...and that they are willing to do it.

Just sharing...

Little Candace needs our prayers.

You can find more information at Janne's Blog.

I don't know how!  

I do have a few ways to be more frugal with my purchases. I buy used books. I use resources from the library and the internet. I try not to buy totally unnecessary things. (I should be selling things I am not and will not use, also.)

Other than that I'm at a loss. I'm not a frugal person, not really, and I AM a book addict. A curriculum junkie...a bookaholic...with bookaholic, craftaholic children.

There are certain things that I feel are *needs* (of course that is subjective). These are the things that I think almost every homeschooling family should have. We can't buy everything at once, and those *needs* change with the season, year, and age. Nonetheless, these are *needs* and I buy them.

Then there are the *raves*, and of course we feel we have to have those. *Everybody* uses them...what would our lives be like without them. They eventually come to feel necessary. I fall prey to them...and buy them. Sometimes we like them, and sometimes we don't.

Then there are the things that we just want to try out thinking we will love (sometimes yes, and sometimes no). So I buy those things too. Granted, I will try to find them used, but if I can't I will just buy them anyway. They are to benefit our children, you know? So, I feel the purchase justified.

So you can begin to see through this picture I have painted that I spend a goodly amount on *school* things. (though a lot of these things are not really *school* things in the eyes of some...maybe I should come up with a different term for them...life enrichers ??) To think of *not* spending money for school...well...I just...

I know that I have learned enough in the last five years to be able to *make do* if we had to. I'm not sure how much I could make do though. I would still have to spend some money I think.

I feel like I'm having to make do this year, but in reality I'm not...we will be using everything that we wanted to use, I just cannot order it all new and at one time. That's not really making do...that's just doing better.

So if I know enough to make do, to school my children without spending money...homeschool on the cheap...then why do I not do that? Other than I don't wanna...? Well, that and I am lazy...?? It would be more work without all these resources.

These thoughts stem from a conversation I had earlier with another hs'er (with only young children, and only one *formal* schooling). Her and I do things very differently...and I told her so.

So, I'm wondering...do any of you try to *homeschool on the cheap*? How do you? What led you to do that? Was it just a financial decision or the thought of unnecessarily spending money on resources that could otherwise be had for free/minimal cost?

Yesterday I read a tip from someone, when asked how to cut homeschool costs. She said to make your decisions, then make your purchases, and STOP LOOKING!! Now that makes really good sense to me!

I guess Lander is getting tired of all the books laying around in stacks everywhere. A stack on the ottoman, a stack on the end table, a stack by the chair, stacks upon stacks in our bedroom, and stacks in the boys rooms. He's building a bookshelf for our living room.

I have purchased shelving units (cheap) before, but the shelves always sag. That annoyed me so badly that I just boxed up all the books and put them in storage.  

Sometimes when I am looking at bookstores, or even online, I have to ask myself "Do I already have that? I seem to remember having that at some point." I'll be so glad to be able to look through my shelves and see if I do have a certain book so I won't make duplicate purchases.

I'm not sure that the shelf will hold all of my books, but it's going to be a lot better than the few that I have on the one small, sagging bookshelf I am tolerating at this point.

Maybe I'll post pictures in the next few days. Not sure how long this project is going to take...but I feel very loved, I'll say. He is doing this instead of plowing or sawing down trees, and moving them with his tractor (did I mention he bought a chainsaw and now he's sawing down all our trees AND plowing up all our land? I love my husband!!  )

A few months ago I saw an ad for a used bookstore in a town near us, but I hadn't had time to check it out. We were out today running errands so we ran by to see what they had.

Of course, being very rural means that her selection was not great. Lander said it was a *wharehouse of Harlequin romance novels*. That wasn't quite true, but not far from it.

She had one side of one aisle with children's books. Of course, lots of those were *Babysitter's Club* and the like. I did manage to find several Childhood of Famous American's books for .95  These are the hardback editions so I was extra pleased with that. I also found several history related books and snatched them up. I'm sure that we will read them at some point. I also found one Sonlight book for the coming year, and two for the following year...very happy about that. I think the trip was worth it. I plan to go back as often as I can with a list in hand. She keeps record of her things on her computer so she could actually tell me whether or not she has a certain book. I don't want to overwhelm her though.

Her policy is to allow you to *trade* the books you buy from her in on different books. She gives you a credit for your full purchase price.

I never saw a store like this that gave FULL purchase price credit. Anyway, it works on a 75/25 deal. For instance, the book you bought was $1...so she will give you $1 credit, but when you pick another book for $1 you only get to use .75 credit and pay .25 cash (so she can pay the electric bill and rent on the place). Sounds good to me. Also she will credit you for books you bring in.

I'm planning to go through our books and see if I have any that I really do not want. I didn't notice any hs books, but she did tell me that she has several hs families that frequent the store. So maybe in the future there will be more hs books. I have some Little Golden Books that I know I don't want any longer...and some Disney stuff. I'm sure I would be better off to trade those in.

My poor husband, I had stacks of books on the floor while I was sorting through the shelves. He asked me at one point if I was REALLY going to buy them all. "Well, ummm....yeah...."

He is not a book-lover, and he really does NOT get it at all. Oh well, at least he loves me enough to *fund* my addiction...that I have passed on (thankfully) to my children.

I have a chunk of money, from our income tax refund, to spend for school books/supplies for next year. I'll be able to buy things as needed throughout the year, but this is the BIG chunk to buy the more expensive things and the bulk of our material. I've spent the last couple of weeks trying to make some decisions.

I'm having a hard time deciding what we *need* (not just want), though I am thankful that we now have a few things that we really like and are not going to change. We've (I've) been so wishy washy with our curriculum in the past. It feels good to be able to say "yeah, we are going to use that AGAIN next year" sometimes.

Everything is so tempting, but I need to be realistic. We now have a farm, and that means lots of work. Lander is home a lot now, that means that there will probably not be time for lots of extras. They are going to be learning lots of things while working with their dad. Some new things..and some not, but taken to a new, higher level. Those things are important. They are REAL things that will be useful to life. Still, as Lander and I agree on, certain things need to be covered in a *schoolish* manner.

I have seen over the last year that my children learn more through real books than they do textbooks...and given the option of "covering history quickly to be done with it" or taking lots of time reading living books, my oldest quickly said that he would rather take the time to read the *good books*.

My lazy side wants to just use something where we could *check off the boxes* and be done for the day. It's easier to keep up with, and easier to let them do alone. In my heart I know that I don't want them to do everything alone though. I love the interaction that I have with my children now, and that they have with each other. The older one is studying a different time period in history than the other two...but they share what they have learned each day with each other. Today they went out to play *Civil War*...and in the past they have played *Joseph*. I don't want that to stop happening. They never did that when we were using the *workbooks* from a certain curriculum.

I don't want them to have nothing to discuss with me at the end of their school day because it was all so boring that they don't feel it merits discussion...or repeating even. I may not remember all that they tell me, but I do try to act interested. LOL I want them to continue to be fascinated by things they *never knew before*. I don't want school to be a bunch of blanks waiting for an answer that is written on the page before.

Having school this way takes more time (for me/from me). I can't just work for x-amount of hours and know that we are done because we've checked off all the boxes. So I'm wondering how it will work out next year when life is busier. It really doesn't seem to take us that long now (in the actual doing of it)...but we haven't added all the extra farm work yet either.

I'm just going to continue to pray. As I've typed out this entry I have realized just how passionately I feel that we are on the right track (though we have definitely not arrived). I really think the problem with the way we are doing things is *me*. I've not been setting any guidelines for us. I have a plan in my mind, I follow it sometimes, but it falls to the wayside often. I'm motivated and inspired by others...but not diligent in doing. I'm not diligent in seeing that things are done...daily. I'm too quick to say "let's just do XXX today since (plug in any excuse for slacking)." I think we could accomplish more...not just more as in *amount*, but more as in *retention and content*.

Off to give this some more thought...

My husband's tractor was delivered today.

He's been so excited since he started shopping, and was even more excited after he picked it out. He's waited a long time to get one. We are trying to be debt free, and were waiting to have *cash in hand* before we bought one...of course it is used, but it's paid for.

He bought a plow to go with it, and he's been out driving, and plowing, and swapping out equipment (we did have a few things) since it got here. He'll run in every little bit to ask me to come look at what he's done, or what he put on it, or what he's going to do next. He's just like a little boy...I'm having so much fun seeing him so excited.

He says that now we are a *real* farm....guess the 22 acres is just land, but the tractor makes it a farm.

He's already let the older two boys drive it, and they're excited to. This means we'll get to work all spring and summer on a garden...and they like the thoughts of that, because that means fresh veggies!! Have I ever mentioned that my children like to eat??

Sometimes it's hard for my husband to see all that others have, and seem to attain so easily, when it seems that we struggle for what little we do have. We're always reminding each other though, when old *envy* starts to try to wriggle in, that they may have those things...but most of the time they owe for them...and we do NOT want to owe for what we have if we can avoid it.

So, it makes me especially happy to see him get something that he needs and wants AND that we don't owe for it. 

I hear him and the oldest outside now, I hope he doesn't plow up everything... 

So here goes...

7 awesome movies

1. Season's of the Heart
2.  Yours Mine and Ours (old)
3. Cheaper by the Dozen (old)
4. Cheaper by the Dozen (new)
5. Daddy Daycare
6. LOTR trilogy

7. Chronicles of Narnia


7 Great Music People

1. ummm...Pap L
2. Daddy L
3. A
4. Older J
5. Younger J
6. Rich Mullins
7. George Strait


7 people I talk to almost every day

1. Daddy L
2. My mommy
3. A
4. older J
5. younger J
6. My dog, Timmy
7. Pap L and Granny

7 things I love

1. books
2. movies
3. almond joy candy bars
4. CLOTHES!!
5. SHOES!!
6. BAGS!!
7. animals...


7 things you could call me

1. a mother
2. a wife
3. a friend
4. lazy...LOL
5. easily distractable
6. punctuality challenged
7. forgetful


7 states I love

1. VA
2. TN
3. IN
4. KY
5. WA (though I have never been there...it just looks lovely)
6. NC
7. TX

We are SO stuck!! Not just with one student, but with TWO!! I'm ready to yank my hair out...

First of all...A is planning to attend college, so this is what makes this a BIG issue. He doesn't want to just ditch it...he wants to do it, and move on to the next book.

A is doing Saxon Alg. 1/2 this year. He is *technically* in the 9th grade. I'm really not sure what the problem is. We noticed a few weeks ago that he was *failing* (I do not USE this word in my home...you do not *understand* something, you do not *get* something, but you are not FAILING). So, we decided that he would take a few days to look over his work and decide where he wanted to start reviewing. And so we did, we went over every lesson and all the ones that he missed...and some were common errors and he corrected them, some were misunderstandings that he fixed, but then we came to those that he just did NOT GET.

We tried to go back and find out where the problem was, review the lesson with the Dive CD, sit down and figure it out. The issue with that is *I* don't know how to do it to help him...and the DIVE discs are ONLY for the practice set (which is simple...and silly, says A). The practice set has the simple problems, and therefore he doesn't GET how to do the harder ones.

Ok, so we ditch it...and try to figure out what to do.

I asked A what he thought of Saxon (which he has used for years and always LOVED...til now), and he said, "I think it's for the Saxons...and the Anglos...and not for me) Har Dee Har Har...

I'm looking at Video Text Algebra, but I am not seeing GREAT reviews of it. A lot to invest in a *guess it might work*.

I'm looking at Math U See...but again, I'm not seeing great reviews of the upper grade math.

We do know of a few certain concepts that he is not getting, and have considered buying the *Key to.....* for those...but I'm not sure that it will help completely.

I thought of just buying the Saxon alg 1/2 solutions manual and trying to work through those problems that he doesn't understand...and I guess that will be our first step. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what we will do...

Now on to Older J...

He is in 5th *technically* and at the end of a third grade math text. *sigh*

He just does NOT get math at all. He has not been able, thus far, to memorize facts (addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division). He can do the problems, but it takes him tremendous amounts of time to do small amounts of work AND in the end, he still just DOES NOT GET IT. *sigh* (can you tell we had a bad day yesterday?)

Anyway...I have been pushing forward (pressing is not a strong enough word) with his math at the request of Daddy L. He is not happy that older J is still doing 3rd math, and feels he must just move forward.

Umm...I am trying, but...does anyone else see a catostrophic math train crash in the not so near future??

I am considering starting over with him. Ordering Math U See (he is very much a *wiggly willy*) and having him and younger J do the same stuff. I'm not sure how this would make him feel, though we have basically no discussion of *grade levels* in our home and I'm not sure he wouldn't just see it as fun...with his brother...like history and science are.

I'm just really at a loss. I'm open to any and all suggestions...because I sure don't have any of it figured out. I'd just like for math lessons to stop ending in my being sweaty, exhausted, and hoarse.

A sidenote...most subjects do not stress me, but math does. I'm all for relaxed learning, except when it comes to math...I will admit it is probably just a hangup of mine, but Daddy L also does not want me to *relax* math.

I don't share a lot about our school days, so I thought I would start sharing about them. The good, the bad, and the ugly...and the neglected.

We started out with Bible Study Guide For All Ages. We do this daily, during the school week, and my boys enjoy it. I'm aware that I am not using it to it's fullest, but the way I'm using it works for us. We only started the study recently, so we are still studying Joseph...

After we finished, A went off to his room to do his work, and the younger two and I moved to the kitchen table.

We've been studying Egypt in Sonlight, but I haven't really been following the IG strictly. The Sonlight IG is my crutch...if I don't *feel* like digging deeper then I don't, and at least I know that we are still getting something done. We do our reading and move on. I do like to do some hands on stuff though...the boys really enjoy it.

So, yesterday we did not do any reading from books for history. I had purchased a kit from Hands and Hearts and an accompanying  History Pockets book on Ancient Egypt and we started working on the first pocket from that, Introduction to Ancient Egypt.

This is the first *pocket* book that we have ever done, and I'm thinking, now that I have seen them, that I could easily do them on my own with stuff printed from the internet...or some variation of them.

Anyway, the boys are enjoying doing this because it's not just reading. We made the pocket and labeled it, made our bookmark of info, read the background information, looked over the map and colored it. Cut, paste, and color...always lots of fun for my boys.

Then we did our science. We are using Apologia's elementary Botany study. I realized that I had not been doing enough each day that we had been doing it, so some things had been forgotten when I asked the questions. It's all done orally, so no biggie...we just reviewed. Maybe it will stick, and maybe it won't. I think it will be more fun as we get farther into it...but I'm honestly hoping that Daddy L will do all these projects. The thought of making some of this stuff just makes my head hurt. *sigh* (so much for FUN mom)

Next we moved onto our Sonlight reading...

Leading Little One's To God (mostly enjoyed, but WAY below my boys' age level)

Missionary Stories with the Millers (still one of their favorites)

and

Understood Betsy (which they are still amazed at loving...they were quite sure this was going to be some boring *girl story* about a pitiful little girl who was whiny)

Young J did math (fact families), handwriting, and read to me (from a SSRW book).

Older J did math (polygons), handwriting, Daily Grams (which has really helped with his retention...but we are still struggling), and LLATL. I can't remember now whether he did his handwriting or not, but I think he did.

When we were finished with our lessons, A came from his room to tell me "I still do NOT get this math!" *Sigh*

He's using Saxon, with the Dive CD's, but some of the things are not sinking in. He will do the ones that he can do...but what do we do about the ones that he can't do. (there will be a WHOLE blog on math later)

So, after telling him that there is NO WAY that I can help him, we decided to just ditch it until I can figure out what to do. (Which I will be discussing in that other blog entry later)

A is doing really well using Easy Grammar Plus, and Writing with the Best. He loves to write, writes all the time, has 200 pages written of his *novel*...but detests the subject of writing. In my mind, I have figured that it is the *chance of failure* and the *not knowing what to do* that paralyze him with fear (learning some things from Cathy Duffy's 100 Top Picks book. Honestly, if a child can write a 200 page novel with PASSION, then he could write a 2 page paper on John Deere without saying "I don't know what to doooo"?? He seems to like Writing with the Best, so we'll see how it goes.

He also did a lesson in art and listened to a lesson in spanish.

Later we read another chapter in The Magician's Nephew...

and that was pretty much all of our *formal* learning from yesterday.

I still have a hard time figuring out just what kind of *schoolers* we are. Probably pointless to even try to figure it out really. I know that I am not nearly as pushy as some would think I should be...and time may tell the tale on us for that. Sometimes that thought brings fear into me, but I know that fear is not from God..so I try to push it aside. Yet, I wonder if it might not be fear, but a warning nudge to do a little more...especially for one that might want to go to college. I am praying about it...sometimes I forget that, even for school issues, I should be doing that.