A couple of days ago (remember way back when it was beautiful outside instead of rainy and cold?) my husband and I went for a walk. He wanted to show me what he had been working on. We walked toward the field where the goat is and down around the rail fence to a stand of cedars. Well, there used to be a stand of cedars...I guess there still is, but lots of them are down.

Bless his heart, he showed me every single tree that he cut. He talked about the plans he has for the logs (hopefully part of them will be walls for our home). He talked about some having more red than others, and on and on...

Then he took me toward the barn where he proceeded to show me more cedar logs that he had drug out, and more stumps where he had cut trees.

I think I married a lumberjack at heart.

At one time in our marriage I would have seriously made fun of him. I'm not talking about the poking fun, like the comment about him being a lumberjack, he is good hearted and likes to tease so that would not bother him. I mean *serious* degrading comments. I would have made him feel stupid...and I am not sure why, though doesn't that usually stem from a need to feel superior??

At one time in our marriage I would have simply told him I didn't care, and that he could *do his thing while I do mine*. Wow...how many women say that and then are left sitting back not knowing why their men are not spending time with them or the children? Sometimes we need to fake it...and as one friend would suggest, wait for the feelings of interest to come. Be a good faker...

There are events in the past that would have played out differently had I let my husband lead, or at least supported him in his ideas. I know of many times that he mentioned a desire for something, or a thought to change something and I *shot him down*. Trying to please me, he listened to me...and I was too stupid to shut my mouth.

 We are very different creatures, and only God in heaven would have paired us up. We looked doomed from the start. Maybe at one point we would have been, but God is good, and He can help a heart to change and grow. *He* is the tie that binds us...Now we have a wonderful relationship, and not just one that appears to be so due to a domineering wife and a submissive/passive husband who loves her.

Wow, that went on a trip that I hadn't planned to trek...oh well, I will leave it as is. It was what was in my heart, and someday I am sure I will enjoy rereading it.