Growing up I thought that the only reason my parents had me was so I could clean and work for them. Free labor - that’s me! Now as a parent I notice some of the same events happening all over again. My kids hate to clean or pick up anything. All my notions that making cleaning fun would somehow make them magically want to help were so far off the charts. So thus began the I-will-spank-you-until-you-are-finished series. Well that, for obvious reasons, did not work.

I have three children, ages seven, five, and three. I’m not going to try to convince you that I have it all figured out, I doubt I ever will, but thought I would share some things I have learned along the way with little ones.

Teamwork. Siblings are not the always the best "team." Granted this is what I envision: my lovely children help and protect each other and become a dynamite team. But reality soon hits as the first toy of the day is chunked across the room. Teamwork is still my goal and the best way I have learned to teach this is by my chipping in with the "team." I started out thinking that while the kids were doing chores, I could get some of my chores out of the way. With little ones, this rarely happens. If I play as part of the "Clean-Up Crew" such as showing them "secrets" on how to do a better job, being willing to pick up a few items with them, or race them to see who can finish first, they really seem to enjoy their job. The "game mode" really only works with the really young ones. And if I am doing my own chore then stay within eyesight so that they can see me working too.

Consistency. This part is crucial. Have a plan and stick to it. I’ve made all kinds of charts to use with the kids and sometimes they worked, but the thing that worked the best was holding them accountable. As an example I will share with you our morning routine. Breakfast is not a big deal at my house, so as the children wake up they eat a little something. As they finish they are sent to fix beds, then brush teeth and put clothes on. As soon as all three of my little "angels" are finished with these tasks we have quiet Bible time for 15 minutes. After Bible time, they are released to go play outside for a little while. Monday through Saturday this is expected of them. We don’t always get this done in a timely fashion, but it is always done in that order. They know what is expected of them and I hold them accountable to complete their tasks.

A Plan. This way you always have a plan on what they need to be doing. For younger ones, scheduling chores in increments seems to work better. Notice in the morning routine that it ends with outside time. Outside time ends at snack time, which is a very convincing way to encourage them to come back inside. After snack, school is started. My kids love school time and hate to take vacations, so this is also an easy transition. And because they worked so hard at school they are rewarded with another free time while I go fix lunch. (Key here is that it is the same everyday - no surprises). After lunch is afternoon chores.

My kids love to work in the kitchen, so to make this easier on me I assigned them each their day to be "Kitchen Helper". So three days a week I have one child helping me with meals, but this also includes clean-up duties. During afternoon chores, the "Kitchen Helper" does lunch clean-up. The other two also have one assigned chore to do during this time. Once finished . . . yep, you guessed it . . . free time.

Know your kids. We all know our own kids better than anyone else, right? Use this knowledge with chore time and things will go much smoother. Make a list of jobs each child is capable of. My youngest, 3, is in charge of trash duty. This means she has to gather all the small trash cans around the house and dump them into the big trash can. She can handle this job easily so she does it cheerfully. Other things she can do is pick-up her toys, separate dirty laundry, clean off the table with a washcloth, and hold the dustpan for the sweeper.

My middle child is a 5-yr-old boy. He doesn’t have half the fine motor skills of my girls so I have to change my expectations of his chores. He sweeps, cleans the bathroom, fixes his own bed, folds laundry, separates dirty laundry, picks-up toys, yard clean-up, and vacuuming. He is also in charge of any bugs the girls find.

The oldest, 7, is very resourceful. She is a typical older child with a few exceptions. One in particular being that she is deaf and relies on her schedule wholeheartedly. She knows her jobs and sticks to them. And she gets very upset when the other two don’t do their jobs correctly. Her jobs include cleaning her rabbit’s cage, feeding and caring for her rabbit, cleaning the bathroom, fold laundry, fix her bed, pick-up toys, sweep and vacuum, organize movie and book shelves, separate dirty laundry, and match socks.

Those were some ideas of what they can do. Remember that was all on top of their "Kitchen Helper" duties. Even though the two older ones have some of the same jobs, I expect different results from them. My son is still learning fine motor skills and attention to details, so I spend more time with him during chore time than I do with my oldest.

My children are not my "free labor", but I wish to teach them life skills to become well-adjusted adults that are not dependent on anyone else. And most important that we all learn to work together as a family and learn to respect each other.

Felicia Johnson

Wife to Jeremiah Johnson

mother to Shelby, Colby Dean, and Tobie Johnson