The boys have been getting on each others nerves a lot lately. It has gotten so bad that they continue to get grounded for the same offenses. Just when I think they are learning to turn the other cheek they offend the other person and here we go again with another lecture or another apology. Today I was helping Braylin vacuum his room. Ethan walked in the door from taking the trash out to the curb. I had walked by Ethan and said, "Never mind." He asked why I said that and I had told him it was nothing and that I meant it for Braylin. Well, Ethan still wanted to know why I said it and asked Brae. Long story short as they passed each other Brae pushed Ethan into the wall. Why he would  do anything physical to Ethan is beyond me. Not that there is ever a good reason for physical violence, but this was just dumb. And of course, they had 2 completely different stories. Braylin says Ethan provoked him & grabbed his arm and Ethan claims to be innocently walking by him.

I sat them down to get to the bottom of why this had to happen. I mean seriously, this has to be the dumbest reason to offend one another. There is NO reason this had to happen. After realizing that both were sticking to their own stories I knew that we weren't gonna get to the bottom of it. After a lecture of, "You both know what you did to offend each other.... and even if you don't admit it to me God knows...you'll live with what you did...this shows me your characters are weak...he's the only brother you have...take care of each other...be nice even if he doesn't deserve it....."....I could see it on there faces that what they were hearing was....blah, blah, blah, blah.

One of my biggest fears is that they will not be close when they're older. I want them to be best friends. Go to their homes and have cook-outs, go to each others kids' events, their wives to be close friends, their kids to be inseparable.  Be there for each other and help each other out without even thinking twice about it. To be able to tell their deepest secrets to and help them through hard times. I don't have that with my siblings. Now, don't get me wrong, I love and respect them, but weren't not very close. We don't know personal things about each other. Our kids don't really know each other. And now that I live in Georgia, I rarely talk to them. Not b/c we don't want to but b/c were not close enough to make the time and effort. I don't want that for my kids. I realize how this may sound, but its the truth. I want better for my kids. Adam and I are always focusing on strengthening their relationship. Adam is closer to his bothers than I am to my siblings but he's still not as close as he'd like.

So I decided that instead of me passionately expressing to them how they should act toward each other that I would MAKE them do it. I told them that they each had to go do a deed that was EXTREMELY nice for the other person. They couldn't ask the other person what they wanted them to do for them. Couldn't ask if this was nice enough, as a matter of fact, I told them to not even talk to each other, but to just go think of something that the other person would be VERY APPRECIATIVE about and do it.

Braylin cleaned Ethan's room. Plus he took an extension cord out of his own room and used it for Ethan's radio. Ethan hasn't been able to listen to his radio b/c of the location he wants it at, the cord doesn't reach to an outlet. (I keep forgeting to buy him an extension cord.) Ethan, almost professionaly, made Braylin's bed. Now, this may not sound extremely nice like I wanted, but it is. Braylin has a very awkward bed. It's about 3 feet off the ground and is very hard to make in the morning. It's a daily frustration for him and he's always complaining about making his bed. It's hard to make b/c if he stands on the ground he can't reach the top and if he gets on the bed to make it...well, he's on the sheets. He can't tuck the sheets in b/c the bottom of the mattress is covered by a metal bar. The size of the bed isn't a regualr size. The bedding is larger than the actual mattress so its too big and hangs over and looks sloppy and the fitted sheets and sheet come off the mattress every night. Very frustrating. When we move he'll be getting a "normal bed". So, for Ethan to get in there and make the bed the way he did was so nice. Not hard for him b/c he's taller than the bed so he has the leverage needed to make this bed.

After they showed the other person what nice thing they did for them, I had them do another thing. They each asked what they other person wanted to eat for lunch and had to cook and serve it to them. The mood between them has changed- for now. But this is something I'm going to have them do everyday. They both were beaming when they saw what nice deed was done for them. Their attitude changed and now they're eating peacefully and I'm able to hear my thoughts instead of yelling in the next room. I know siblings argue and fight but too much of that can harm their relationship. I do not want anything to damage their relationship so much so that it harms them as adults. Now, although I'm sure there will be many more arguements and fights, it is our job as their parents to help nurture their realationship so as they mature THEY can be responsible for it- not us.