Dec. 28, 2006 - Me With A Quiver Full?
I admire families that let their size grow naturally. I would love more children, but always have conditions with that statement: when we have more money, when we have a larger vehicle, when all our house repairs are done, when we have a totally peaceful household... I am also fearful of having a child past age 30 (I'm 29) due to the increase in birth defects and the fact that my mother passed away at age 40. I have always wanted to adopt, but am afraid a home study would find us not quite up to par, due to our not always tidy home and not always perfectly functioning family. What if, as our household grows, we cannot afford for each child to have extracurricular instruction, like my current dancer and soccer players? How can I look at my kids knowing I made what seems like a selfish decision to have another baby, rather than pay for those field trips and other activities? Does God really want me to throw caution to the wind and forgo the control in this current world? I am torn between the longing to hold another child to my breast and common sense saying we just cannot afford this.
Comments
Dec. 30, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Oregon
I am the same age as you, and those thoughts you have are normal. Here is what I have come to think about it all. Having children, is an honor. I don't think that it is selfish at all to have and want more children. God created us women to have children. Extra curricular activities are nice, but building God's kingdom is more important. As for the money part, God provides continuously. We lived off of 7.00 an hour when we had our first child, and as our family increased God's provision increased. Children are a hertitage from the Lord. Bringing life into the world, and raising them to know God has to be one of the most important, and rewarding things a mother can do. There are and will always be doubts, and obstacles. But we cannot loose our faith in God. I have been giving this very situation alot of thought and prayer lately. My husband had a vasectomy 3 years ago, and now we are seriously regretting it. It was easy for us to give into the worldly mindset about children, and we became selfish. We are now going in for a reversal this month, and we are looking forward to trusting in God when it comes to our family. I hope that didn't sound preachy at all... the subject of your post has weighed heavy on my heart for a while now. And we have personally struggeld with it.
I pray that you and your husband have alot of quality prayer time and discussion about it. Trust in God together! Put God first, and everything else will fall into place.
Ali
Jan. 1, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Tracy
This is such a personal decision between a Husband and Wife, but I'll cautiously put my opinion you can take it or leave it. I have had 6 children sometimes I have been over joyed to be pregnant and a couple of times it has been, no, not now Lord this is such a bad time. Through each of my pregnacies the Lord has used these times to strengthen me and draw me closer to him. The babies have all been such a huge blessing to this house, and at times our lives have been in turmoil but through these babies the Lord has given us a hope to keep going forward. From your point of view with health I completely understand I have struggled with the same thing, our fear is irrational without any valid health concerns, to me it would be foolish to have a baby if I'd been told I am risking mine or the baby's life if I was to have more, I don't see it as a lack of faith to say no more, God has given us a brain also and we have a responsibility with the children we already have. That being said I have realy had to walk through some dark days of fear, and constantly pushing forward into God, trusting Him with all areas of my life, which is a daily walk for us all.
When it comes to having the children in activities, you know this is another personal choice and for our family we aren't big on this and our children have not suffered at all from it and if they were asked would you rather be in some activity or have our 18 month old, I tell you now this little boy is the center of our home and brings more joy to each of us then any outside activity, they actually would be overjoyed for me to have more children.
I also dislike being pregnant but LOVE have babies and for now choose to have no more. The Bible isn't completely clear on it, and the full truth of it we won't know until we're in Heaven but I stress again it is such a personal choice between your family and God. I think what is clear is we shouldn't be walking in fear of our health and finances. I have written so much sorry, but I hope my thoughts have helped you in some way.
