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Aug. 31, 2009 - Long Goodbyes stink

I don't think I've been getting the full 60 seconds out of each minute. If I had, surely it would feel like it had been a month since I was on last.  I know I get up each day and I go to bed each night and in between is a flurry of activity.  It's mostly been trying to get ready for school and trying to jump back into life which has apparently been going on without me for the last year.  How right is that?

I know my last "medical post" was a real cliff hanger, so I'll just end the suspense.  I almost passed out at a friend's house in the middle of the night the first weekend of Dec. and after that had two months of anxiety/panic attacks, terrible insomnia, migraines, heart palpitations, severe light and sound sensitivity and constant neck and back pain.  I had everything from A to Z checked out.  Then I had some female issues in March and they put me on Progesterone cream. That ended some of the symptoms, but then I crashed and had no energy, depression, weight gain in the mid section, muscle aches, completely foggy head.  So then I went on Armour thyroid tablets which helped a good bit plus a very large array of other supplements, including Vitamin D which I was very deficient in.  All of things had me feeling better, but still not normal. I was constanly at some Dr. appt. or getting labs done.  Interpreting lab data and knowing the difference between T4, T3, rT3, TSH etc. etc. has been very enlightening.  I feel I know more than anyone should have to about hormones, thyroid, the endocrine system and fibromyalgia.

My mother has has fibromyalgia for years.  I won't go into it all here, you can look it up.  We both think I am in the beginnings of it, but hopefully with all that I am doing now I can control it well.  About mid-July I found about another supplement that a Dr. in NC uses for patients that have bouts of Thyroiditis, so I started on that and it has made drastic changes. It's called Resveratrol.  I am now off my Thyroid tablets, still on other supplements, but feeling more normal than I have in a year.  I sometimes think I am swinging to the over-active thyroid side , but still watching it.  We'll be monitoring my levels for a while.  I still have kind of crazy swings during monthly cycles that have just started back up, but I'm so much improved since Dec. that I can't complain.

This is one of those paths that you wish with all y our heart you didn't have to walk, but in some strange ways it has been very good, well bad, in a good sort of way.

That is the two cent version of the whole thing.  There has been so much that I just can't get at it all. I really want to move on and start getting it together again.  I am doing that slowly, trying to change habits and behaviors along the way.  I'm purging wherever possible, streamlining what I can and trying to make life more simple.  That is one huge lesson that God has taught me throughout this. When you have nothing to give and can do so little, it's amazing what your priorities become. 

I love to write.  I've been doing it since I could hold a pencil.  But having a blog has become an invisible albatross for me.  I know I don't have to write, but knowing that it's here hanging in Cyber space - mocking me like all my other undone tasks - has made it not enjoyable.  And when you write so infrequently, as I have, you don't have the interaction that is part of what makes blogging a good time.  So I think that I am going to hang up my keyboard for awhile, get back into the swim of my life, and get some more good material for when I decide to start up another blog.  I'm already thinking up a new name. :)

Catch ya' on the flip side jack-

Cindy

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Jul. 28, 2009 - No Hedgehogs!

My two year old (almost 3) was playing with the big container of Duplos we have and said, " I don't want to pway wid the hedgehogs!"  

Um...ok ?

Apparently to exaggerate his point, he threw a handful of LINCOLN LOGS across his room.

If only everything they said was so darn cute.

~Cindy

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Jul. 27, 2009 - More than you really want to know about...

A little background info...

I had never heard of Thyroiditis, postpartum or otherwise, before all this.  I have had a very thorough unit study on the thyroid and hormones in general over the last eight months. More than I need to know. Ever.

Thyroiditis, according to Wikipedia.."

Thyroiditis is the inflammation of the thyroid gland. The thyroid gland is located on the front of the neck below the laryngeal prominence, and makes hormones that control metabolism.

There are many different types of thyroiditis, with the most common being Hashimoto's thyroiditis. Other forms of the disease are postpartum thyroiditis, subacute thyroiditis, silent thyroiditis, drug-induced thyroiditis, radiation-induced thyroiditis, and acute thyroiditis.[1]

Each different type of this disease has its own causes, clinical features, diagnoses, durations, resolutions, conditions and risks.

There are many different symptoms for thyroiditis, none of which are exclusively limited to this disease. Many of the signs imitate symptoms of other diseases, so thyroiditis can sometimes be difficult to diagnose. Common symptoms may include fatigue, weight gain, feeling "fuzzy headed," depression and constipation. Other, rarer symptoms include swelling of the legs, vague aches and pains, decreased concentration and so on. When conditions become more severe, depending on the type of thyroiditis, one may start to see puffiness around the eyes, slowing of the heart rate, a drop in body temperature, or even future heart failure.[2]

Thyroiditis is generally caused by an attack on the thyroid, resulting in inflammation and damage to the thyroid cells. This disease is often considered a malfunction of the immune system. Antibodies that attack the thyroid are what causes most types of thyroiditis. It can also be caused by an infection, like a virus or bacteria, which works in the same way as antibodies to cause inflammation in the glands.[3] Certain people make thyroid antibodies, and thyroiditis can be considered an autoimmune disease, because the body acts as if the thyroid gland is foreign tissue.[4] Some drugs, such as interferon and amiodarone, can also cause thyroiditis because they have a tendency to damage thyroid cells.

Postpartum thyroiditis is a phenomenon observed following pregnancy[1] and may

involve hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism or the two sequentially. It affects about 5% of all women within a year after giving birth. The first phase is typically hyperthyroidism. Then, the thyroid either returns to normal or a woman develops hypothyroidism. Of those women who experience hypothyroidism associated with postpartum thyroiditis, one in five will develop permanent hypothyroidism requiring life-long treatment.

Postpartum thyroiditis is believed to result from the modifications to the immune system necessary in pregnancy, and histologically is a lymphocytic thyroiditis. The process is normally self-limiting, but when conventional antibodies are found there is a high chance of this proceeding to permanent hypothyroidism. Postpartum thyroiditis is a member of the group of thyroiditis conditions known as resolving thyroiditis.

That's it in a nut shell.  Of course, I couldn't just have a mild bout with it.  Nope, I went for the full deal.  Looking back it appears that I was having problems starting around my 7th month of pregnancy, but obviously had no idea at the time what was wrong. Symptoms were : debilitating morning tiredness after breakfast, great difficulty breathing for a few hours in the morning - not like the usual "baby pushing on the lungs and I feel winded" , severe pain and achiness in the hips, knees and ankles, also in the hands and lower arms, heart palpitations, unable to relax.  Being a 7th pregnancy and being so busy I really wrote alot off as "par for the course".  I did keep saying to my Midwife, I feel further along, why do I feel so bad?  She also thought it was just "normal".

The morning I was heading to the hospital for the IV antibiotics (I tested Group B Strep positive - first time- that may be a piece to the puzzle) I sat staring at the empty cradle and I was just praying, "Lord, I don't know what is wrong.  Everyone tells me everything is fine, but I don't feel like everything is fine.  I don't know why I feel so scared and have this sense that something isn't going to go right.  Please just let everything be alright." 

Everything went fairly well at the hospital.  I could not relax though and ended up having an epidural.  Keller was healthy and big and I seemed to be fine, but I was very anxious to get home.  Every little thing seemed like a hurtle to get over to get home.   After that all was pretty normal postpartum stuff - except I was totally unwilling to re-engage at home.  All I wanted to do was sit in the baby room with him or outside by the pond. By one month I was doing better, but still very foggy headed.  Again, I thought well, this is just life with a family of 9!

When Keller was 8 weeks old, about mid Nov. , we all went to the Pedatrician to get flu mist/shots.  Normally we do not, but we were going to be travelling and staying with multiple families and having a new baby and two other children with asthma, we thought it best to take precautions.  That may have been my undoing. 

If you're still awake and not drooling on the keyboard from boredom, I'll say at this point that just as much as this has been a physical journey it has been a very difficult spiritual journey as well. Physical ailments can either bring out the saint , or the wretched sinner.  Unfortunately, in this case, I have not been a saint.  Far from it.  But seeing ourselves for who and what we are, does us good.  When the refiner's fire brings more and more impurities to the surface it can be painful to see and deal with. It is easy to get discouraged.  But , like Peter, when I stop every once in awhile and look at Christ instead of the waves, I stop drowning in all that despair.

~Cindy

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Jul. 22, 2009 - To the Edge and Back :A Story in Parts

A casual glance at the calendar will reveal that it's been exactly five months (yesterday) since I last blogged.  I called a friend the other day and her first comment was, "So you didn't fall off the egde of the world?"     I came mighty close.

 

Picture yourself running through a maze.  You don't know how you got there or how to get out.  But you're not seeing things from a first person perspective.  It's almost like you're hovering over yourself but you still can't see anymore than the You that you're watching.  Like a video game.  That's a little how I've felt these last eight months.  I've been watching this person go through the motions of "life" not sure if she's really me and if she is, I've been in trouble. 

 

I "came down" with post-partum Thyroiditis.  It hit hard the first part of December but I didn't know until Feb. or so what it really was.  After they scanned, poked and examined every other thing imaginable.  I haven't been able to write mostly because until about two months ago I wasn't putting thoughts together very well and I couldn't look at the computer screen without getting a horrendous headache.  I also have been unable to process everything that has taken place physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  I will be chewing on this for a very long time.

 

I've wanted to write so many times, if  for no other reason than to communicate with friends that check on me occasionally and let them know what's going on.  But starting anything has been too overwhelming.  I decided today that I have to start things eventually or they just don't get finished.  And I might not ever understand everything that's gone on, (like why I found an old trampoline spring hooked on a can of green chilies sitting on the sprinkler in the back yard tonight???)   but maybe that's just the way it is.

 

In addition to my journey, we've had all the usual, and unusual, things that life brings.  Birthday parties, schooling, chores, a foray into organized sports, learner's permits, new teeth, little crawlers, potty training... I just can't believe so much time has gone by.  My little guy is already 10 1/2 months old.  I almost have two teenagers in the house.  For those who have been praying for me, whether you knew what was going on or not, thank you.  Without that our family would have struggled so much more.

 

I'm going to keep it short tonight, but I am planning on writing a little each day (or so) until I get through things. 

 

~Cindy

 

 

 

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Feb. 21, 2009 - Testing

This is a test of the EBS - (That ' s the Emergency Blogging System)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEE    EEEE  EEEEEE

If this had been an actual Blogging Emergency - or a Post - The sound you just heard would have been followed by about 100 paragraphs explaining where I've been and why I haven't been blogging.  You'd hear all about the baby, my health issues, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Inauguration Day, Ground Hog Day, Valentine's Day and  President's Day.  You'd hear about how not busy I've been because I've had to completely tone things down around here.  You might even see a picture.

 

But since this is only a test to see if anyone out there even noticed I wasn't around for a while, or maybe still has me on an RSS feed :)  all you get today is a "Hi, I'm hanging in there.  We've had quite a winter, but God has taken us through it.  I've missed doing alot of things these past few months and blogging and reading blogs are two of them.  I hope everyone is doing great and I am looking forward to catching up with people very soon.  Still waiting on some tests results, but Lord willing, I'll be on the mend shortly."

This was only a test :)

~Cindy

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Oct. 23, 2008 - Power Blogging

Power Blogging - Blogging as fast as you can to get several weeks worth of thoughts down before pandamonium breaks out in the living room   

"Georgie Porgie"  will have been with us for six whole weeks tomorrow.  Unbelievable.  Life since then has been..........if my organizer is any indication, it's been absolute chaos.  In a good way most days, but chaos nonetheless.  If you're looking for a poster child of seamless transitioning from New Baby to Homeschool Year you're at the wrong blog.  I fall into the "If anyone has any idea how I am supposed to being doing all this I'll give you a million dollars and my organizer". 

He is definately the Most Popular Guy in our school right now.  Especially with the Toddler and Pre-school class.  There, they learn the finer points of eye-poking, arm shaking, and sock pulling.  Both our students are excelling in all areas.  The older classes really seem to like him until he spits up.  The All-Girl's class has made him their mascot and looks for every opportunity to hold him, pick him up, put the pacifier in his mouth, kiss his head and in general - love him!

I do need to check the ingredients on my Pre-Natal vitamins because apparently they have been laced with some kind of Growth Fertilizer.  PeeWee here, who was about 11 lbs. at his 2 week check up,  is now pushing 15lbs at six weeks.  Think I am kidding?  I just bought him new onesies Tues. night, washed them in cold water, dried on delicate low heat and put one on him last night.  It just barely fit. 
Size : 6 to 9 months  The weight chart for them is 12.5 to 16.5 lbs. and the length is 25-27 inches.  Yikes.  It's a good thing he isn't a turkey, because he'd be about ready for Thanksgiving dinner.  That's Butterball with a Big B. 

Want to see him??  You and everyone else.  About  the pictures...I am hereby stopping the practice of saying that I will post pictures.  When I do, you can all be surprised.  (Sorry mom)  The problem is that my camera is FULL and to download them I really need to put them in somewhat organized files, at least by month taken.  This requires some time that I really truly seriously  (all one word) have not had.  As someone told me recently, if you put all seven kids to bed at night - you've had a good day :)  So far I haven't lost any of them.  And we are making progress. Everyone tells me this is building character too - I'll let you know if I see any.

OK, I've just been informed of a jail break - The Toddler/Pre-schooler class just ran down the hall...

Until later,

Cindy

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Sep. 24, 2008 - Took long enough!!

I can't believe it's taken me so long to get a post up - well, yeah I guess I can.  We have had a lot going on

Friday, September 12, 2008 at 5:37 pm  our newest little flake arrived!  He "floated" in at 10 lbs. 1.6 oz and 21 1/14 inches.  All went well and we are both doing great.  I don't usually use our children's names, but by way of introduction (which I'll probably delete in a few days) his name is Keller Micaiah B-- .

Yes, pictures are forthcoming.  We have some great ones so I'll pick some favorites and get them up this weekend.

Thank you so much to those of you that were praying for us.  The Lord was so faithful and merciful to us, and we are all so very thankful for this new little life.

Until later,
Cindy

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Aug. 24, 2008 - Are there chickens in Wyoming? (or " I don't think I can take much more)

Painting with a very broad brush, I contend that there are three types of people: 

Those who want to hide from the World

Those who want to join the World   and

Those who want to change the World

Have you ever thought about which one you are?   I would say the second is never an appealing option to me.  I vacilate between the first and the third.  Some seasons of life, you wake up each day ready to tackle it all.  You have the energy and the drive to feel passionately, act decisively, and live victoriously.  As a mother, you vow to instill in your children, by God's grace, all of the positive, much needed character traits that society is lacking.  You're going to change the world one nose wipe at a time!!

Then there are the seasons when you want to move to Wyoming and raise chickens.

You just feel tired. Weary. Like a dog that just doesn't have the fight in him anymore.  Like taking on City Hall. Like going after a grizzly bear with a butterfly net.  You just don't want to put forth the effort anymore to try and make a difference.  Who cares anyway?  Then you join Elijah under his juniper tree and lament.

But God still sends ravens doesn't He?  And there's water. And rest.  And you find out you're not alone.  Slowly, strength returns, the brook dries up and you find yourself heading back into the fray to try again.  Knowing ,again, that you're not without an External Power source. 

Aren't you thankful that God's mercies are new every morning?  Isn't it encouraging to have God pick you up, dust you off and say - OK, get in there. 

Whether it's battling a severe medical issue with a family member or friend, facing unbelievably hard financial times, or homeschooling your brood another day, God has the strength that we need. 

He was truly serious when He said "Be not weary in well doing..." 

**This post brought to you by a mother who was feeling totally overwhelmed, tired, agitated, irritated, and above all very pregnant, before she sat down to write.  Thank you.  :)

(and no, I do not want to do a unit study on raising chickens, in Wyoming or anywhere else. I appreciate the eggs, but don't feel compelled to have backyard access to them)

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Aug. 19, 2008 - Quick update, again

In keeping with our family's summer theme of "God is totally in control and we are thoroughly aware of it"  we were told yesterday that our new little one may be making his appearance sooner than expected.  I will be 35 weeks tomorrow and I am measuring 39 weeks, so he's still growing well :)  He's also at -2 and I am 3cm and 50%. So I am going to take it easy for the next two weeks (until I hit 37 weeks) and then I can go jogging :) 

We are praying that he will stay put until then so his lungs can mature fully and since I have dear friends who are giving me baby showers the end of next week. I'd like to be there :)  God's timing is not ours, so I will take what He gives.

We "officially" started school yesterday, more for my oldest son's benefit than anything.  It went fairly well, although the younger ones are only doing a few things.  And I am Commanding from the couch :) 

We talked this morning at devotions about the Season's of life and how we don't need to wish away the one we are in because it's chaotic or difficult.  We need to enjoy the times we have because they will pass away quickly and another will come to take it's place.  The times of trying are the times when we learn and grow the most.   Ecclesiates 7:3 says " Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better."  

We don't have to spend our lives looking sour to be holy, but we don't have to hate the tough times that come either.

Until later (maybe with new baby at home?)
~Cindy

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Aug. 7, 2008 - Big babies, big plans

Just an update...

I didn't  post Mon. after my OB appt., but after consistently measuring 4 weeks bigger than I should, my mid-wife wanted an ultrasound to rule out extra fluid, funny positioning, etc.  Went to day and we have a nice fat 33 week old boy in there.  His little legs measured about 33 weeks but his belly is almost 38 weeks :)  Everything averaged together, he's about 3 weeks large - about 6 1/2 pounds right now.  If I go full term, he'll be another whopper like his siblings have been -  around 10 lbs. maybe more if he doesn't slow down his weight gaining.  So far we've had weigh ins at  (in lbs. and oz.) 7-12  (three weeks early) 8-12, 8-13, 8-15, 9-13, and 10-7.  We don't exactly have teenie weenie newborns around here.  Skip the newborn daipers and 5-8 lb. clothes.  We go straight to size 1 and I have fold the tops or cut a notch for the cord.  But I like it!  I get scared holding tiny babies - they seem so much more fragile.  Mine you can toss a football :)

And since we're talking about growing, I'm trying to decide if  we should have a ceremony for my 14yo when he offcially hits 6 ft. tall.  He is 5'11 as of last night and has grown 3 inches since Feb.!!  Being a little over 5'8'' I don't look up at many children or ladies - I'm not liking this.  Not too mention the skis 'aka' as his shoes laying around the house.  And now my almost 12 yo is only 2 1/2 inches away from looking me in the eye.  What's a mom to do?  Keep having "little babies" I guess :)

On the planning front, I'm glad all is well and that I may have seven weeks to keep preparing.  I need it!  I bounce between house organizing, baby preparations and school planning.  I wanted to start this week, but just no way!  I finally got my 9th grader taken care of, since his was the most time consuming. Hopefully the rest will be a breeze.  His line up looks like this:

Semester one:

Bible - The Kingdom of God, Francis Breisch (an OT survey)
History - BJU World Geography
Economics - Uncle Eric Series (the first 2 books) Instead of one year of Economics tacked on in 11th we're learning some each year.  I think there is just so much to learn.
Literature - Teaching the Classics (IEW) , Andrew Adams - after we go through this we'll read several books and plays
Compostion - Classical Rhetoric through Structure and Style: Writing Lessons based on the Progymnasmata (IEW)
Logic - Intermediate Logic, Jim Nance
Greek - A Greek Alphabetarion/A Greek Hupogrammon, Harvey Bluedorn - depending on how fast we work through this he'll move into Homeschool Greek 1
English Grammar/Mechanics - (last year!! yippee)  Jensen's Grammar and Punctuation (2 books)
Math - Algebra 2, Saxon
Science - Biology, Apologia

Semester two looks the same except we'll be done with Intermediate Logic and doing an Intro. to Speech and Debate working through Christy Shipe's (Michael Farris's daughter)  book - An Introduction to Argumentation and Debate. We are using a guide by Deanna Stollar of Antithesis Debate Publications.

I've spent much time on the phone with my "Secretary" and on www.donnayoung.org  getting forms together and folders and files made.  I feel somewhat ready...

I also tackled the bi-annual chore-redistribution - that is sooo much fun.  Everyone is figuring out their new jobs and the house is staying very tidy.  But we haven't started school yet!  All in all, though I don't see the progress daily, when I look back over the last month I have accomplished quite a bit.  More to go, but hey, I've got seven weeks to get it all together, right?  hahahaha   I've had too crazy a summer to think I'm coasting until Sep. 

We'll see...

~Cindy

 

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