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Jul. 22, 2009 - To the Edge and Back :A Story in Parts

A casual glance at the calendar will reveal that it's been exactly five months (yesterday) since I last blogged.  I called a friend the other day and her first comment was, "So you didn't fall off the egde of the world?"     I came mighty close.

 

Picture yourself running through a maze.  You don't know how you got there or how to get out.  But you're not seeing things from a first person perspective.  It's almost like you're hovering over yourself but you still can't see anymore than the You that you're watching.  Like a video game.  That's a little how I've felt these last eight months.  I've been watching this person go through the motions of "life" not sure if she's really me and if she is, I've been in trouble. 

 

I "came down" with post-partum Thyroiditis.  It hit hard the first part of December but I didn't know until Feb. or so what it really was.  After they scanned, poked and examined every other thing imaginable.  I haven't been able to write mostly because until about two months ago I wasn't putting thoughts together very well and I couldn't look at the computer screen without getting a horrendous headache.  I also have been unable to process everything that has taken place physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  I will be chewing on this for a very long time.

 

I've wanted to write so many times, if  for no other reason than to communicate with friends that check on me occasionally and let them know what's going on.  But starting anything has been too overwhelming.  I decided today that I have to start things eventually or they just don't get finished.  And I might not ever understand everything that's gone on, (like why I found an old trampoline spring hooked on a can of green chilies sitting on the sprinkler in the back yard tonight???)   but maybe that's just the way it is.

 

In addition to my journey, we've had all the usual, and unusual, things that life brings.  Birthday parties, schooling, chores, a foray into organized sports, learner's permits, new teeth, little crawlers, potty training... I just can't believe so much time has gone by.  My little guy is already 10 1/2 months old.  I almost have two teenagers in the house.  For those who have been praying for me, whether you knew what was going on or not, thank you.  Without that our family would have struggled so much more.

 

I'm going to keep it short tonight, but I am planning on writing a little each day (or so) until I get through things. 

 

~Cindy

 

 

 

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