Aug. 24, 2008 - Are there chickens in Wyoming? (or " I don't think I can take much more)

Painting with a very broad brush, I contend that there are three types of people: 

Those who want to hide from the World

Those who want to join the World   and

Those who want to change the World

Have you ever thought about which one you are?   I would say the second is never an appealing option to me.  I vacilate between the first and the third.  Some seasons of life, you wake up each day ready to tackle it all.  You have the energy and the drive to feel passionately, act decisively, and live victoriously.  As a mother, you vow to instill in your children, by God's grace, all of the positive, much needed character traits that society is lacking.  You're going to change the world one nose wipe at a time!!

Then there are the seasons when you want to move to Wyoming and raise chickens.

You just feel tired. Weary. Like a dog that just doesn't have the fight in him anymore.  Like taking on City Hall. Like going after a grizzly bear with a butterfly net.  You just don't want to put forth the effort anymore to try and make a difference.  Who cares anyway?  Then you join Elijah under his juniper tree and lament.

But God still sends ravens doesn't He?  And there's water. And rest.  And you find out you're not alone.  Slowly, strength returns, the brook dries up and you find yourself heading back into the fray to try again.  Knowing ,again, that you're not without an External Power source. 

Aren't you thankful that God's mercies are new every morning?  Isn't it encouraging to have God pick you up, dust you off and say - OK, get in there. 

Whether it's battling a severe medical issue with a family member or friend, facing unbelievably hard financial times, or homeschooling your brood another day, God has the strength that we need. 

He was truly serious when He said "Be not weary in well doing..." 

**This post brought to you by a mother who was feeling totally overwhelmed, tired, agitated, irritated, and above all very pregnant, before she sat down to write.  Thank you.  :)

(and no, I do not want to do a unit study on raising chickens, in Wyoming or anywhere else. I appreciate the eggs, but don't feel compelled to have backyard access to them)

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Aug. 19, 2008 - Quick update, again

In keeping with our family's summer theme of "God is totally in control and we are thoroughly aware of it"  we were told yesterday that our new little one may be making his appearance sooner than expected.  I will be 35 weeks tomorrow and I am measuring 39 weeks, so he's still growing well :)  He's also at -2 and I am 3cm and 50%. So I am going to take it easy for the next two weeks (until I hit 37 weeks) and then I can go jogging :) 

We are praying that he will stay put until then so his lungs can mature fully and since I have dear friends who are giving me baby showers the end of next week. I'd like to be there :)  God's timing is not ours, so I will take what He gives.

We "officially" started school yesterday, more for my oldest son's benefit than anything.  It went fairly well, although the younger ones are only doing a few things.  And I am Commanding from the couch :) 

We talked this morning at devotions about the Season's of life and how we don't need to wish away the one we are in because it's chaotic or difficult.  We need to enjoy the times we have because they will pass away quickly and another will come to take it's place.  The times of trying are the times when we learn and grow the most.   Ecclesiates 7:3 says " Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better."  

We don't have to spend our lives looking sour to be holy, but we don't have to hate the tough times that come either.

Until later (maybe with new baby at home?)
~Cindy

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Jul. 30, 2008 - What a wonderful world???

It's almost the perfect writing day - a little rainy, no outside time commitments, kids are playing somewhat happily;  Only thing off is I just ran out of coffee.  Can't have it all can we?

I read through alot of different devotions.  Sometimes Spurgeon, sometimes another book/bible study.  Right now I'm reading Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Highest  (again!)  You know how you can read through things multiple times and each time different things will make an impression.  If you're reading MUFHH  right now, you know today was about Disillusionment.  I have always looked at it as a 'bad' thing.  But my thinking was set quite straight this morning. 

In John 2:24-25  it says , " But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man."  (in the context of the people asking for a sign from him as to why he came crashing into the temple and driving out the profiteers)

Chambers says this," Disillusionment means having no more misconceptions, false impressions, and false judgements in life; it means being free from these deceptions.  "  He goes on to say that our usual experience of disillusionment leaves us cynical and overly critical of others.  "But the disillusionment that comes from God brings us to the point where we see people as they really are, yet without any cynicism or any stinging and bitter criticism."  Read that again. 

If we all saw it that way can you even imagine what life would be like?  I have "suffered" from bad cases of disillusionment and seen those who have suffered - sometimes greatly.  Christ didn't have that problem.  He KNEW what was in man on the front end, yet he was not suspicious or bitter.  Truthful, honest and direct about the condition of humanity, but not bitter.  His confidence was in God - not things or people. 

I think it's probably obvious why that strikes a chord with me as of late.  Things will let you down. (multiple times!!!)   No joy to be found there.  People are not perfect and will not provide all the peace, joy and love we want either.  Nor will an environment, a vacation, a church; you can make your own list. 

In that constant Tetris game going on in my head, (you know where try to make all the pieces fit with as few holes as possible), two things today have confirmed these thoughts.  #1  -  At  7:00AM my dh called to say, Hi, I'm down the road - my car bit the dust.  If you've been reading, you know we've tried.  We let it sit and we tried to fix it.  It is out of our hands :)  Always was, but it's nice when you REALLY know it.  So I smiled and said, I'll come take you to work - wonder what the Lord's going to do?  Praise the Lord I do not have to trust in my 1991 Dodge Caravan with about 240,000 miles on it.  Now we only have one car left to let us down :)  Oops, that's probably too cynical isn't it?   #2 - I read an article on some policies that it seems Univ. of California schools have adopted concerning the courses that Christian students take prior to admission to UC schools.  Apparently if the courses are from a biblical worldview perspective they deem them as not being challenging enough to make it at UC, b/c they don't teach evoution.  There are disputes on both sides as to what the policies actually say, but it seems that they are being interpreted that way by the schools, according to several parents.  You can read it here  .        

Some people are disillusioned by what they see in society - bias against things of God, cruelty, injustice;  But being the mother of almost seven and having brought several children through their toddler years, I ask WHY???  WHY are you so surprised and affronted?  You expected differently?  Sin nature is alive and kicking folks.  No matter how God-ordained your country's Founding Documents may be.  You can't rule men's hearts with a piece of paper.  Only if the men believe in what's on the piece of paper.  That requires a different heart up front.  I don't expect my two year old to naturally want to obey me and stop drawing on the walls any more than I expect a Secular institution to naturally desire to tolerate Christians and their beliefs. 

So do we just get mad? Cynical? Critical?  I don't think so. Let's just understand what we're dealing with and then gird oursleves and our children up for the fight.  Because it is a fight.  That's why we homeschool.  Not so that we can be "relaxed".  Not to stay in our jammies until noon.  It's because we take seriously the idea that we have to equip our children the best that we can to live in this world.  Confident communicators for Christ.  Biblical world-view minded scientists.  Principled, trustworthy business owners or employees.  Pastors, teachers....

So as I drove back from Carbs R Us (aka: Krispy Kreme) this morning  (we decided to have a mourning party for Dad's car)   listening to James Taylor, yes I am a closet James Taylor fan, I felt good.  Not because the world is such a great place, but because we have such a great God - no matter how rotten things seem sometimes.

~Cindy

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Jul. 19, 2008 - Be fruitful...

Our pastor sends all the expectant moms in our congregation, as well as others in his aquaintance, encouragements throughout our pregnancies.  I thought the one we received today was wonderful and wanted to share it.

"Dear Fruitful Vines,

 One never knows in God’s mercy and kindness what a simple appeal to a Biblical passage can produce. As I was pondering my last encouragement to you all, I pondered Psalm 128. Verse 3 says, “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house.”  I thought, “You know, instead of saying, ‘Dear pregnant moms,’ maybe, ‘Fruitful Vines,’ instead.” Now “pregnant moms” is a lovely term to me. Nevertheless, from the encouraging replies I received regarding the term Fruitful Vines, it will now be the address of choice!

 This also pointed out to me again the importance of words and, especially in our society, of image. You dear sisters have to stand in the checkout lines of Wal-Mart and other stores all the time. Glaring at you are rows of magazines that virtually shout at you, “The Hollywood Harlots are the standard of beauty. You have to look like this, and display that, or you are not beautiful.”

 Don’t listen to this. Reject it. Replace this lie with God’s truth.

 Some of you mentioned waddling. Some of you mentioned that vines are thin. I was amused. Yet, I was also pierced to my very soul. Our society has made body-sculpting surgeons rich and constantly shoves its artificial, nip-and-tuck, silicone and Botox standard of beauty in your face. Let me tell you something: waddling, as your body bears the children God gave you, is holy. The changes, the aches, the pains, the swelling, the stretch marks, and all the rest—these are all beautiful in the eyes of the Lord and to any man who has his biblical wits about him. It is stunning beauty to see women submitting to the often painful changes that bearing the Lord’s children brings. Being fruitful and multiplying brings glory to the Lord Jesus Christ and is the holy act of bringing God’s elect into this world. Through virgin’s womb, our beloved Savior entered this world. Mary did the most holy waddling that has ever graced the planet. It was not the sultry, sensual sashay of seduction. It was the humble, load-bearing, groaning, aching waddle of the salvation of all God’s elect for all eternity. Waddle on, groan on, swell up to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ: you are displaying a true and holy beauty to your God and to anyone who has eyes to see.

 My beloved wife used to say in her last trimester, “I feel like a beached whale.” I wish I had told her a million times and more, “But you are beautiful to me and to the Lord.” She was then and she is now the delight of my eyes. Dear Vines, there is a beauty in your fulfilling the eternal purpose of God to which all the airbrushed, surgically enhanced bodies on this planet will never compare. Your self-effacing sacrifice displays the glory of your Lord.

Waddle, swell, and groan to the glory of your Savior. He knows true beauty when he sees it."

I don't think I could have said it any better!
~Cindy

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Jul. 16, 2008 - The Conclusion of it all

I knew a joke awhile back where the punchline basically said,  If you play a country song backwards the wife comes home, you stop drinking, your car starts and the dog comes home.  

If you could play my last post backwards, that would be about the same idea.  Well, God has blessed even as he continues to stretch. Update:

We got our car back.  It's running!  We just don't know how fast we're going or how far since the odometer and spedometer are not working.  :-O  Good thing my dh has always been a speed limit guy.  He just goes slower than everyone else and figures he's ok.  Yes, we're in the market for good, dependable wheels that get great gas mileage - Dh's work is only 5 miles away sooo, I think it will be a green Diamondback mountain bike for awhile.

All appliances are working!!  Yes, the stove light keeps clicking off and on for no apparent reason, but food can be cooked.  And this time of year who wants to use a an oven?

I found my debit card!!  But not before I had concelled it and ordered a new one.  At least it wasn't "out there" floating around.  Oh, it was in 9yo son's drawer.  The one we call the 'trash man'.  We had to take him off trash duty because his drawer was so full of 'treasures' he 'found'.  He claims he was set-up, but we're still investigating.

My curriculum seems to all be on the way!!  There was a one week hold-up with Rainbow b/c of backorders but UPS should be bringing a whole truckload of boxes my way the end of this week-yippee.  I'm also selling very well on www.homeschoolclassifieds.com  all things that I didn't sell at the used curriculum sale here.

I have found a  fantastic Secretarial service for homemakers and home educators.  And it's FREE!  The catch is, everyone has their own, generally speaking.  They may or may not be local for you and experience differs greatly from office to office.      MOM  :)   She is a typing whiz, is great with Excel and her brain came hard-wired for organization.  She has been wonderfully desiging and re-doing forms and papers that I really need.  THANKS!!  (Hope it's still free after I embarrass you  :)  )

The kids are helping out by doing "Summer chores" each day.  They get tasks done that I would have trouble with right now and I make sure they don't kill themselves or each other in the process.  Yesterday for example was trash can and high chair scrubbing day.  Things were going pretty well until I went inside to a do a few things....  Just so you know, sidewalk chalk is not deadly, but it is pretty hard to swallow.  almost 2yo son ate a chunk of red chalk and my calm 14yos ran in shrieking - HE"S EATING CHALK!!  I was on the phone with "my secretary" and had to very quickly go in a panic - not a good idea when it's grandma too - assessed he was not dying, scooped and rinsed until little guy was not coughing then out he went to suck on all the sponges they were using to scrub out trash cans.  Isn't it amazing how resilient they are?

So, If I can keep the children well and uninjured for the next three weeks or so, we may start school slightly into August, the house may be relatively clean and organized, and at least DH will be getting great exercise.

Thank you Lord.

~Cindy

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Jun. 27, 2008 - Whose flow is this anyway?

!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!! Had to get that in first

There are things we look forward to.  Springtime. A break from routine (and school).  The first peaches of the year.  Hydrangea blooms. 

There are things we expect.  The next day to come.  Kids to interrupt when we get on the phone. Our car to start when we jump in.

What do we do when few things happen that we expect and most things go in a completely unexpected direction?

Back in May I carefully crafted a beautiful calendar for June and July with all of the things that needed to be done fit in nicely.  I felt so assured that all would be done in a timely manner and I would coast into August ready for school before the baby in September.  You're laughing aren't you?  or maybe not.

I'm sure that the folks in Iowa and Missouri did not wake up one morning in June and say " You know , today seems like a great day to have the house flood and lose everything.  I'll put that on my to do list."   My unexpected's are no where near that magnitude, nor the other situations that I've witnessed over the last month.  But they have wreaked there own level of havoc on what I had planned.  God has a "heavenly shredder" - it has been doing overtime in our lives this month.  (I'm following this post with a song we sing out of the Trinity Hymnal)

Brief synopsis:  (I'm not going to apologize anymore for long-posts.  I'm an  ardent blogging basics rule breaker)

Haven't gotten curriculum ordered.  We just had a used currciculum sale within our support league and I sold some and bought some.  Saved $ - that's good  Still have enormous Rainbow order to put in along within a few others and I'm sweating getting everything back in time to get organized enough to start school when I think I need too.  But that is just the thing.  Maybe I don't need to when I think I do?

Had unexpected family visits, not unpleasant :), just not planned.  Then we went and helped them move.  I'm glad we got to see them and the Lord threw in a washer and dryer that we couldn't afford, but someone else could.  We didn't think we needed it yet, even though ours are aging.  But would you believe this Sat. the washer just flat died? (of course, our sheets were in there b/c I wanted to sleep on clean sheets after the hectic Sat. we had!)  After all the other things this month that have broken down, I just looked at my husband and said, well at least the dryer works. And praise the Lord He knew we needed a new washer and dryer before we did.  Now we just need to get a trailer hitch put on the only working car and drive up to AL to get it  :)  which will be Thursday - that's at least 2-3 loads p/day x 4 days, I'm sure we'll out be out of underwear by then but if I catch up on ironing at least we'll have outerwear

The cars - Our ancient but faithful mini-van, which we outgrew 2 years ago, has been in sick bay in the driveway since end of May.  We were deciding whether or not to fix it or get a 'new-to-us' car.  After driving the 12 passenger gas guzzler exclusively this past month - yup, cost us $102 dollars to fill it up yesterday, we have decided to fix old faithful and keep saving for a good second car.  (incidentally, we can be conditioned so easily - my son yells out - look! gas is only $3.91 over there!  That's cheap someone exclaims.  I shook my head as I pulled in and said to dh - do you hear what you're saying?  Have we lost all perspective?  $3.91 is NOT cheap for gas!!!  Amazing)

I came home Fri. evening and we discovered that our 22 month old can, with ease, climb in and out of his crib and that he can now climb up to the top bunk even though we took out the two bottom rungs.  OK, planned on moving him to the toddler bed in August.  Last night we began the time-honored tradtion of training  a child to stay in bed.  Some of our children were a breeze, a few were tough.  This kid - uugghh.  But, bright spot - we have an alarm system built in the room.  4yo brother yells at the top of his lungs everytime little guy climbs out - He's climbing out of his bed!!!!  So after the 10th trip into the room, our youngest got weary of the game and went to sleep.  Oh, we took the ladder totally off the bunk bed and just boost our 8yo son up when it's time for bed.

Lastly, a little word about summer activities.  I do not like them.  I want my children to get bored.  I thought I had scaled back enough, but apparently not b/c I still feel like a crazy person.  I want to be home, planning, organizing, cleaning and then just playing with my kids, reading a little - you know, relaxing?? So after a month I'm ready to nix art classes, which we usually do during the summer, we haven't gone to any park days yet, and no one is allowed to have any more birthday parties or baby showers. except tomorrow is 8yo son's b'day. 

We got one of those big above ground "bag pools" ,I call them, and the kids are enjoying that.  I like it too, but going up the ladder is um, well unflattering at this point.  Yes, I'm large.  I've got 12 weeks 2 days to go and I'm already ready.  Oh yes, we do have a baby coming soon too. Now that I'm planning on, expecting, and looking forward to, but after all the lessons that God has been teaching us about going with His flow, not ours, I'm not going to assume that everything will go as it always has. 

The last day of June - I can hear the shredder revving up for July :)

~CIndy

( I started this post three days ago...)

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Jun. 6, 2008 - "Wolid Wocks"

We're having an 'at home' vacation this week since my dh is off work.  So far we've been to the beach, dismantled the swing set area to put up a pool and the trampoline and had a day of berry picking, shopping and eating at a super-fun restaraunt.  Today we have a birthday party and who knows what else will come up, but we are all enjoying not being on regular schedule.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I'm going through the small-but-wieghty book "Won't Let Go Unless You Bless Me" by WORLD Magazine columnist Andree Seu. She is a phenomenal writer and I highly recommend the book.  (It's a compilation of columns from several years) 

This morning I read the article entitled House of Unraveling. It really got me thinking.

One of my 4 yo sons favorite songs to sing, because he has the chorus memorized, is "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand" .  He has had a speech impediment since he started to talk that renders all s's, th's, sh's,  f's and any other unpronouncable letters as W. So the chorus sings thus:

                            On Cwist the wolid wock I 'tand; All other gwound is winking wand.

I love singing that song wth him!  Sadly he is learning the right pronunciation and we graduated to F sounds and now at last S's and Sh's are understandable :(

But this morning's read compared the writer's life to Shylock in Shakespear's Merchant of Venice.  He goes from wealth to woe in 24 hours.  He loses "his ducats and his daugther" . Everything goes down from there, ending quite unhappily. Love that Shakespeare.  What was he standing on?

I immediately thought about Job, Paul and the rich young ruler.  Two of them lost it all.  Paul probably multiple times. One wouldn't let go.      What were they standing on?

Mrs. Seu says, "God is in the business of bringing one's trust to light, of pulling rugs of our own making from under our feet."  

We don't like to think about losing anything.  'Stuff' most of us can get over.  Alot of of it can be replaced.  People - that's tougher.  I've watched family members over the last several years struggle with that loss. It becomes apparent very quickly where you are standing when the rug comes out and you come down.  A  mother, a grandmother, a 100 year old aunt, a pre-term baby, and very soon another grandmother. The responses to grief are varied - and telling. Some still have not recovered- probably never will.  Others have a Hope.

                    My Hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness;
                    I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly trust on Jesus' name.

                    When darkness veils his lovely face, I rest upon unchanging grace;
                    In every rough and stormy gale My anchor holds within the veil.

                    His oath , his covenant, his blood support me in the whelming flood;
                    When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my Hope and Stay.

                    When I shall launch in world's unseen, O may I then be found in him;
                    Dressed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.

                    On Christ the solid Rock I stand; All other ground is sinking sand.

I see a homeschool parallel too.  Are my curriculum choices my Solid Rocks? Will I really ruin child A if I choose curriculum B? Will their character be marred if I don't study History chronologically this year?  Good thing my oldest won't have to decline any Latin nouns at Heaven's gates for entry; I don't think he'll remember alot of his Vocabulary from this year. ~you get the idea.

Am I on wolid wocks or winking wand today? 
I don't relish the thought of being 'proven' to find out, but I'm pretty sure I know where I stand.

~Cindy

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May. 7, 2008 - Thought for the Morning

I really appreciated the Homeschool Minute this morning.  Esp. the first comments.

  "Instead of focusing on your weaknesses as a mom, focus on His strength. He has a purpose and a plan for your family and He obviously thinks you're the World's Best Mom for your children! 

Without a doubt that is my number one cause of depression and frustration.  When my failures seem bigger than my God.  And it is so self-centered!  I try to explain that to my children quite often; putting yourself down, moping about a defeat - it's all about self.  Not because we don't love ourselves enough, but because we love ourselves too much.  We can't stand for "us" to fail.

2 Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

If I insist on being so strong, then when would anyone ever see Christ's strength?  There are multiple opportunities in a day for God's grace and strength to shine- if I would quit agonizing about how weak I am and see that's just where He wants me.

 

With a blog called "Walking In Grace Daily"  you'd think that I would stop living on yesterday's grace.  I need today's!

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Apr. 11, 2008 - Coffee anyone?

I was all set to blog about my misfortune today.  I dumped 14 oz. of coffee all over myself in the middle of a math lesson, wearing the dress that I had ironed that morning - and I loathe ironing.  Don't you feel pity?

 

Well, as the Lord would have it, some people hear his still small voice.  Others of us have to be sucked up in the whirlwind.  This evening at my Mom's Homeschool Meeting a mother was sharing about their homeschool journey and this precious woman kept using the word 'minister.'  As in to serve.  Others.  Not me.  The great woe and overwhelming sense of personal struggle I have been lugging around these last few moths came sharply into focus and immediately became roughly the size of a cheerio.  Why?  Because I have been throwing one colossal pity party, and I was the only there.

 

"For even the Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."  Mark 10:45   Does it get much clearer?  I am called to serve.  Serve who?  Well, most obviously those closest to me and then work out from there.  I have been feeling weary and beaten because....I chucked the joy of serving out the window and replaced it with a whiny, "haven't I done/suffered enough already?" attitude.  "So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do."  Luke 17:10

This has translated into my homeschool day in the form of distraction and preoccupation with things other than teaching and training;  an irritated, frustrated countenance towards my children when they don't get with my program; and a discouragement with homeschooling in general including the ever haunting spectre of "wouldn't they be better off in school?" 

 

I'm so thankful that the Lord uses whatever means necessary to get our attention.  Some people get a douse of cold water; others hot coffee ;) 

 

~Cindy

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Apr. 6, 2008 - To obey or not to obey- Is that even a question?

"Whether men understand us or not, we are bound to obey God in everything. No command which He has given can be so unimportant that we are at liberty to disobey it at our pleasure. When the finger of God points out the way, no place is left to us for human preference. And when we know the will of God, we are not only bound to obey for ourselves, but also to teach others to obey, so far as they are brought under the influence of our instruction . . . .The man who can disobey God, because the thing commanded is of minor importance, has not the spirit of obedience in his heart; and the man who, knowing the will of God, forbears to declare it, because the weight of human authority is against him, fears men more than God."
JOHN L. DAGG
Pages 299-300
A Treatise on Church Order
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