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May. 17, 2008

The First Part of Chapter 1

**Note: As my story is still in the making, all names, places and events may be subject to change.**

**Another Note: The prelude to my story is below, if you haven't read it yet.**

 

Chapter 1 - Part 1

“Cressida, can you open the shutters?  I can’t see anything in this darkness,” Faeryn told her maidservant as she tried to dress in the early morning.  Cressida pulled the shutters back, revealing the prairie below the southeast tower bathed in a golden-warm glow.  Faeryn paused in what she was doing and walked over to the window, gazing out at the beautiful sight. 

            Cressida observed her new mistress with interest.  She had been serving Faeryn for almost three months, but the princess still surprised her.  If one observed her when she appeared at court, one would think that she was already a woman.  Faeryn dealt with her father’s councilors with such a noble bearing that people often mistook her for the queen.  But in private she was still a girl.  Here she was now, standing at the south window in her white under-dress, her long, wavy light-brown hair falling free, craning her head to try to get a glimpse of the western mountains.  At a moment like this the princess did not seem to be all of her sixteen years. 

            “My mistress, the view of the mountains would be better from the northwest tower,” Cressida suggested meekly.  She couldn’t quite understand the princess’s longing for the mountains, but then, she still could remember trying to get a view of the castle whenever her family went to town when she was little.  Perhaps it was the same sort of thing with the princess.  After all, it hadn’t been so long ago that she herself had been a young girl, and she still remembered what it felt like.  “We could go there as soon as you are dressed.”

            Faeryn turned and smiled at Cressida, but the smile was immediately followed by a sigh, and the regal princess that she was returned to her face a little as she spoke: 

            “I wish I could, Cressida, I wish I could, but I have a meeting with the chancellor today, and my father has made it plain that I must attend.  But perhaps another day.”  She sighed again, and the girl was back.  “You know, Cressida, I want to visit the mountains someday.  I want to see what lies beyond the first peaks.  I am tired of only looking at them.  But my father will not let me leave his court long enough to go anywhere near them.”

            “That may change soon,” Cressida said.  “You know that your Womanhood Ceremony is not that far away.  Perhaps your father will change his mind when that happens.”

            “I can only hope.”  Faeryn paused for a moment.  “Father wants me to learn more about managing a kingdom and stepping into the affairs of the outside world, but how can I do that if I am not in the outside world?”

            Cressida thought about that for a moment.  “Pardon my objection, my mistress, but perhaps it is better that you learn these things before you are introduced to the outside world, so that you will be ready.  My mother never let me go ten miles from my home while I was growing up, but in that time I learned how to serve, and that has brought me here, farther from home than I could have imagined at first.  I may not know much, my mistress, but I have learned that you don’t learn how to swim by jumping into deep water the first time, if you know what I mean.  Your time will come.”

            Faeryn looked out the window, her head resting on her closed fist, her eyes focused on the courtyard below.  She did not speak for a few moments.  “I suppose you are right,” she said at last.  “My governess did not teach me to embroider by starting me off on one of those large tapestries that hang in the Hall.  I suppose I shall have to be content with the small square of cloth I am given at the moment.”  She lifted her eyes as she saw a falcon that had been resting on the castle wall take off and fly far to the west.  She watched it ‘till it was out of sight. 

            “I still long to see the mountains, though,” she added quietly.  “I don’t think I could live my life and die never having seen them.”

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Comments

May. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by BookLover
*sighs* Oh if only it was a published book in my hands and I could finish it!!! I like how the princess acts towards her maid. It seems like in most books the maids have to be careful or they will get yelled at... This was very good!
Amy
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May. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by QueenFlora
oh wow!!!! It's so well written! When I was reading it, I was thinking of how I need to work on describing things better in my writings. You seemed to have nailed it in this part (and the last). I really like how you describe the character herself, not just her looks, but everything. It's very very very good. I felt like you were miles a head of me in writing when I read that part. Keep up that very good work, and don't stop. I know how it feels when an author feels herself distressed and discouraged. I was dealing with that today, it's like sometimes when I look at my writings, I seem to only see the bad things and things that I could somehow make better. And then I get discouraged. But I realized that if an author feels that way, then they already are a great author, always improving the writings. It was just today that I found out that Charles Dickens edited Oliver Twist himself. A few years later he edited it again, and published the newly edited version. He then did it again, always improving. He must have sometimes felt discouraged, but we know that he was great writer. So keep up your great work! And thanks for the encouraging comments about FAD. Thanks again! my your pen never be idle!
~Queen Flora
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May. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by VintageAuthoress

Ooh, I like it! I love Faeryn's character. And I love the way you use the tapestrie thing, it's really cool!


~ Katie

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May. 18, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by AuthorElf
That is really beautiful. I can understand the princess's longing for the mountains. I live near the Rocky Mountains, and whenever I go and visit the flatlands, I feel an intense longing for the Rockies.
~AuthorElf
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May. 19, 2008 - Hi!

Posted by Ness
I like your story! I love fantasy!
I also llike the Fantasy Directory you made, That is so cool.
writer4him wants me to post some of my stories on my blog so I might get to that some time or other. I'm going to go finish reading your story now.
Can I put you on my friend's list?
~ Ness
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May. 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by QueenFlora
As soon as you write more, please post it! I really want to see what happens next! You're doing a great job! So I guess that's all, just wanted to make sure you knew that it was very well written. So please don't stop!
Farewell!
~Queen Flora of Hanaskea
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Jul. 2, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by chezdak
Is it based in an imagenary country? It must be, because they don't have praries where there are castles as far as I know, well, they aren't called praries anyway, sounds rather like America - only with castles!
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Sep. 18, 2008 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>

Posted by flarter
I agree with booklover. Great story!

Edited by flarter on Sep. 18, 2008 at 7:27 PM
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Jan. 21, 2009 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous
This part is very descriptive, though not to much. I know for a fact that too much description is boring, and too little leaves a story bland. It's just like any other spice!

~A very good friend
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My pen pours forth like a fountain, and this is the place where you can read some of what I have written.


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The Prophet of Einehrowaye is a fantasy novel-in-progress, which is currently 66,125 words long. Here is a list of links to all the bits of it I have posted so far.


Prelude


Chapter 1


Chapter 1, Part 1


Chapter 1, Part 2


Chapter 1, Part 3


Chapter 1, Part 4


Chapter 1, Part 5


Chapter 2


Chapter 2, Part 1


Chapter 2, Part 2


Chapter 2, Part 3


Chapter 2, Part 4


Chapter 2, Part 5


Chapter 2, Part 6


Tears for the Silent Lands is my NaNoWriMo 2008 fantasy novel, which made it to 68,000 words during November, and the first draft of which is now finished with 118,576 words. I will not be posting all of this, however, I will post a few excerpts:


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Beth and Kale is a side story that I'm working on, currently 17,317 words long. It is sadly in need of a new title, so if you have any suggestions, please tell me! Here is what I have posted of it so far:


Part 1


The Heart of the Wyrkind is another fantasy novel, currently at 4,395 words. I have posted the first two chapters:


Chapter 1


Chapter 2


Enchantress is a fantasy novel that takes place in the modern world, currently 75,000 words long.


Prologue


Chapter 1


Reach for the Stars Writing Workshop is an online writing workshop for young writers who wish to sharpen their skills, taught by the fabulous Mrs. Marlow. Here are the links to the lessons I have done:


Lesson 1


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