|
Feb. 8, 2006
Blog, journal or..?
Well after my last entry I think I have really been intimidated to post again. Ha! To think that encouraging myself to keep my blog entries from being depressing would keep me from blogging all together is pretty silly. I sat here earlier and thought about the things going through my mind tonight and it truly was so depressing. So I have to evaluate what the purpose of this blog is. There are so many blogs whose purpose seems to be to encourage other women as well as journal the everyday goings on of their lives. And I truly wish that my blog was that kind of blog. I do. But I am not sure I am at a place that I have anything to give. I don't know that the things going on in my life are encouraging at all, they are in fact.... dare I say it? Depressing.
Now I understand in theory that I shouldn't let things be depressing. And that I need to work on making the words I type here not turn into big one woman pity parties. I understand. Really. So what is the purpose of MY blog? I started it to be a journal. But I guess that I could have written it in Word or something if it were to just be a journal. So where does accountability lie when you cross over from journal to blog? Do I have a responsibilty to people who might read this to stay uplifting, to stay spiritual, to be the best I can be despite the truths of what might be happening in my life, or simply in the room I am typing in? I am not sure to be honest.
What I am thinking is that for now I want to start moving my blog into more of a journal area. On one hand I think that it might end up being something that helps me to accomplish since boy you are all going to see my dirty laundry if I don't. Wait until you read the entry I will do after this about what all happened today.
So in the end this is how I think about it all. For now anyways, considering that I have been pretty darn fickle about things lately. Argh I hate that about me. But... I will try not to have pity parties and will try to come up with game plans and prayers to help deal with the issues I face, but in the end, things are hard right now and I am having a hard time smiling even once a day. I am having a hard time faking it til I make it. I am not putting on a happy face. I am struggling. But I have faith.
I have faith that God is working in me and that this will pass and that maybe one day it will serve as some sort of encouragement to someone. So I am going to journal everyday if I can. It will not always be happy and will often be depressing. Sorry. You don't have to read it if it is. But I hope to pray and find answers to the problems and in amidst the depressing posts will be God working in me. I hope.
|
| • Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
