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Feb. 8, 2006
Oy. Tuesday goings ons
So here is the first entry of the more journal and day to day life recording of my life. Be prepared. You may think of me as a bad mother and wife after this. So be it. It is what it is.
So once again told myself that I was going to get up early and start the day before the children all woke up. Well.... so Frankie got up and I made him come in the bedroom and turn on the tv. It was pretty early for me, say 8:00 and figured hey one show and I'll be up by 8:30 and that will be a great start at trying to get up at a normal time. Well before long Adric and Cassie were in there watching and I found myself making my bed at 10:10. Went in, fed the children cereal and toast. Told myself I was just going to check my email why they ate. Told the children that today was the day we were going to Tomato Stake completely, no tv watching for them in the other room, and that as soon as they were done we were doing our chores and then school. Long story short about the computer...... Got started into websurfing, none of my great Christian boards except a quick WS or HK check here and there. Mostly scrapping stuff. And got into work. I have been blessed by this great home based business where I can do what I love, be creative and earn pretty good money and I work during the DAY? I take this blessing and am turning it into a curse for my family. ARGH I hate it. Anyways so I get caught in the trap and literally sat there until 4:45. 6-7 hours. I could cry to think about it. Got no laundry done. No dishes done. No rooms cleaned. Okay about 4:45 I had the children clean the Living Room, Dining Room and Computer Room. So those were okay, not perfect but acceptable. Mom went to Bible Study and Clay was going to be home late so gave the children sandwiches for dinner (oh I did throw together some lunch around 1:30 in there somewhere). So mom came home at 8 or so and the house was still a disaster. I figured that since Clay was at Pat's he would have eaten before 8 at night. But no he walks in and has no dinner to be found. Whipped him out a leftover steak sandwich on ww sourdough bread and it was great, so disaster avoided. Did decide when Clay came in to the computer to go into the bedroom and read some blogs on the laptop and it really has been a blessing. Ironed a shirt for Clay, set up his coffee and am sitting here now. Did I mention I had the tv on ALL day while I was on the computer ICK. Now the children today. If I were to give them all grades for their behavior today it would all be Fs. It's all my fault. Today I screamed and yelled at them. And then did it again and again. Exploded and made Frankie scared of me. This needs to change. A year ago this was the farthest thing from what seemed even possible coming from me. I need to pray about where this anger is coming from really. Is it deep inside me? Is it anger at me for letting things get so bad? Whatever it is needs to stop this minute. Right this minute. I am changing who my children ARE. When they see their Mommy yelling at them so mad it forever changes them.
The plan for tomorrow.
-I need to check my email for work. I am not opening Mozilla. That's the plan for stopping my problem before it starts. Really I need to make a rule that I cannot open Photoshop until after the children are in bed. PS is my downfall. Once Photoshop is open everything just goes downhill. So NO Mozilla and NO Photoshop.
-I really need to get this house in order somehow. And being that I need to get the children in order, we will do both at the same time. I need to clean/straighten every single room in the house. So first things first the kitchen needs tackling right off the bat. Hmm I dunno though since the children tend to get out of hand after breakfast so maybe we will start working our way through all the NON kitchen rooms and get the house looking great right after breakfast. Then do the kitchen while the children have some quiet activity time at the table and counter so they are right there with me.
-Oh need to figure out what we are having for dinner. AAh I have the country style ribs Mom bought so I will make sweet ribs and brown rice. Yum. Okay I need to think right now about breakfast and lunch for tomorrow. For breakfast we will have ohh... I know! So today I set up yogurt draining to make whey to make gingerale tomorrow night. So I will use the cream cheese left over to make some dip or spread for some apples. Yummy yogurt cheese with honey and vanilla on golden delicious apples. Now.. lunch. If the beans in the outside fridge are still good the children will have bowls of beans with butter. If they are still hungry they can have some hardboiled eggs I will make during breakfast time. Alright I need to make sure I eat all those things too. Health is on this plan too.
-Exercise. Now I am not going to get in over my head here since I tend to want to do TONS when I start exercising again. All I care about is that I do 10 minutes of some sort of exercise. Doesn't need to be cardio can be Pilates, can be anything. Easy enough goal.
- Okay so the basics.. no computer, clean the house so it's presentable, make 3 planned meals, and 10 minutes of exercise.
Okay stayed up way too late tonight with all this blogging. Oh on my list... get up before 10. *sigh*
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Feb. 8, 2006 - Untitled Comment