Mar. 5, 2006

To blog or not to blog?

Well I haven't written in a while.  I think in a way I let myself get intimidated by my thoughts that I didn't want my blog to be a place of depressing rambles.  And it has kept me away.  Then reading an article at Choosing Home's blog  about an article addressing the horrid Good Morning America spot about stay at home mom's,.  Read the article Here.  But the quote that got me was
"I would like to see a description of their daily lives that substantiates that position,” she said. “One of the things I’ve done working on my book is to read a lot of the diaries online, and their description of their lives does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person.” "
That has me thinking about this blog.  People are watching.  They are watching us, looking for signs of joy, of peace in this role.  And people are reading.  They are reading blogs looking for guidance, looking for the same signs of fulfillment in our roles as wives and mothers.  So where does that leave me and this blog?  I am not in a place where I feel I have joy in my life.  I am struggling with the children, with school, with the house.  What purpose should this blog serve? 

I just am not sure.  Many times I blog for me.  I blog because I need to sort out some things, some plans for the day, some struggles and if I didn't have it I wouldn't do it.  Is that enough?  Is it helpful to anyone to read through my hard times?  Or is it detrimental as I am currently a poor witness to our Lord?  I really am not sure.  And there are times that I think about the fact that I am not the only one that feels like things are out of control.  Ever read blogs and think everyone is perfect and you are a collosal failure?  I do all the time.  Though I find the blogs of these women beyond inspiring, I feel unable to ever get there.  Is there value in blogs that show young mothers and wives struggling and working through those struggles?  Is the problem just blogs that are pity parties?  There are times I feel that way for sure. 

For now I am going to continue blogging.  Many times it will show the struggles, and pain in my life.  But I have faith that my Jesus is working in me and I pray that in the midst of these struggles recorded here will come victories and revelation.  I pray that someone will find inspiration somewhere in the future in this journey of mine, in this journey that seems so hard right now. 


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Mar. 5, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Proverbsch22v6Homeschool
I too have been through this same thought process many times. I have come to the conclusion that, for me, to my blog is a place for me to be me - as real and as open as I get. It may help someone else, it may cause someone else to reach out and offer help to me. I don't know and I can't know unless I write. So I write.
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Mar. 5, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by CreativeHomeschooling
I sometimes feel that same way in relation to homeschooling others do. I have found that i am much more lax than probably the average hs mom and sometimes feel like I might be shortchanging my dc. I don't think that I am though as one ds is working completely in 6th grade curriculum (when he should be in the 4th) and the other is a year ahead. Much of their learning is on their own as far as History, science goes as they can't seem to get enough of those books at the library. I wonder if I were to force those subjects on them (like I do with the three Rs), how much would they retain.

I hope you share your TRUE feelings as that I am sure will bless others.

Jennie von Eggers
www.TimesTales.com
www.CreativeHomeschooling.com
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Mar. 9, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by ChathamMommy
Hit your blog on random... was very intrigued by the article, but just as much by your reaction to it.

When I worked in the "real world," I had twice as much to vent about as I do here. My boss didn't like me (or other women in general). I couldn't keep things organized because people were always making a mess of things. I was underpaid, overworked, and rarely thanked.

Er... that almost sounds like homeschooling. *laugh* But with homeschooling, you get the joy of seeing the lightbulb come on occasionally. You get a little hand creeping into yours just because your child loves you. You get a snow day when there is just enough snow on the ground to pull the sled around the yard, but not enough to declare a real snow day.

Show your real self, bad days and all. I assure you, all those feminists have days just as bad as your worst day, but rarely do they get a day as full and fulfilling as your best. :)
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A walk. Not always an easy one. Not always a fun one. But one guided by my Jesus. One filled with littles, smiles, learning, struggles, pain and joy. A walk. My walk. His walk.

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