I had a wonderful day yesterday.  It was bill-paying day and, as things turned out, I was able to pay the bills without any fellow travelers.  That does not happen very often.  My Beloved  offered to stay home with the kids  while  I satisfied the telephone and power company.  I was able to also make this trip  into a Christmas shopping trip.   Wahoo!   I hadn't even started my Christmas shopping  so I was happy to be able to get a jump on things.

     As it turned out,  I was able to get  a few things for the kids.  I have to say that I am totally disgusted with WalMart.  This week is the first week of Dec. and they do not have their  shelves stocked at all!   I have been there a few times in Nov. and empty shelves  stared back at me.  I thought maybe they were just being slow  but,  after seeing the same emptinees yesterday,  i guess this is just how it is going to be for this Christmas.  This makes it a bit tense as this is the only store in town  that  stocks  lots of Christmas toys.  The other stores has a smattering of product but  not enough  to satisfy all of your shopping.   So I guess  I am buying from  the Sears catalogue this year.

     One thing  that WalMart did have a great supply of  were Christmas DVDs.  There  was an aisle unit  chock full of  DVDs  of Christmas past.   The price was very good, too.   I was able to buy  The Christmas Carol,  LIttle Women,  I'll Be Home for Christmas  and  The Miracle on 34th St.   I have been wanting to buy more Christmas DVDs  for us  but have never saw any really good ones.  Voila!  I have found them now.

      So  here are my plans for the week:  watch Christmas DVDs  and add in  some Christmas read alouds.   That sounds so inviting.  I am also hoping to do some  Christmas crafts and baking  with the kids.   I have a kit  to make  a gingerbread sleigh  but I would like to make  gingerbread houses  with  graham crackers  this year.  I just have to find the directions.  I could probably  figure out how to do it myself on a good year, but I am still feeling the effects of  cancer brain  and my thoughts are still pretty murky so directions would be a good thing.

      I am looking forward to a nice, relaxing week  as this will probably be the only one until Christmas. Hmmm,  I am getting the warm fuzzies  as I type.

     Chasing  Vermeer  was published  in 2004  but it has only been this past year  that I have been hearing  its buzz.   I had not heard of it  before  but now,  it's  everywhere.   I found out yesterday  that there are two more books in this series.  Where have I been  in the last five years?  

     If you have been like me and have never heard of it before,  Chasing Vermeer is a chldren's  book written by  Blue Balliett.  The book centers on two characters,  Calder and Petra,  who soon become good friends.   Mystery and puzzles bring them together.   The mystery  revolves around  a Jan Vermeer painting.  Calder and Petra  use  pentomionoes  and  good old-fashioned  thinking  to try to solve the  mystery  of a missing Vermeer painting.

     This book  is reminiscent  of  The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.    In this book  the mystery revolves around  a sculpture of  Michelangelo's.    I love these kinds of books.   Especially because  there are many rabbit trails  one  could go hopping down.

      It is because  of these rabbit trails  that  the kids and I have decided that we are going to use  Chasing Vermeer  as our next unit study.   Forget history,  science,  latin and  any other  subject that we haven't gotten to in the last three months,   we are going to have some fun  and do  a literature unit study.   This is the kind of teaching that excites me  and  goodness knows  I need some excitement in my life right now.

     I have been thinking about this  since I started reading the book and have  come up with quite a few topics that we could explore:  pentominos,  the paintings and life of Jan Vermeer,  cartography,  real- life mysteries  in the areas of history, science  and art,   and  examining  historic letters.  There is more that we could tackle with this book but I think the above topics are good to start with now.   We are going to finish  our chemistry unit  then we will tackle  Calder and Petra.

     Did I already mention  that I am looking forward to this?   It is like  an oasis  after  a   few months of  living in the desert.  

     I was surprised  to find out  that  David Galloway,  the author of  The Cellist of Sarajevo,  is a Canadian.   This book does not read like a Canadian book.    After reeling from my surprise,  I opened the book  and  stepped into the land of  Sarajevo  during the  90's  seige.   The starkness of this  world  ascended on me very quickly.   I was quickly reminded of  The Kite Runner  and  The Thousand  Splendid Suns,  while  reading this book.   The writing style is different but the dark and depressing tone is similar. 

     A shell as kills  22 people  waiting in line for bread.  A renowned cellist looks on in horror.  He vows to bear  witness  by sitting  where the mortar hit and play Albinoni's  Adagio once a day  for 22 days for each of the victims.  Unbenownst to the cellist,  a young female sniper is chosen to protect him.  His  music  moves her, as it does all who comes to listen.  This song  brings  a tiny ray of hope into  the lives of these war-torn people.   This book says a great deal about survival  and hope.

     I have said before that  we have been simplifying  things in the last little while.  This simplifying  is encompassing  our  school subjects as well.   I have always been a big planner  with the content subjects.  I spend alot of time  finding various ideas  and books that all fall under the umbrella of the topic that we are learning.  Now, my plans don't always materialize  but  I have fun doing all of the planning.

     Those days are long gone.   The thought of spending all of my time in planning mode  makes me hyperventilate.    I am no longer a planning girl,  at least not for now.  I thought that if I ever stopped planning  that there would be a big hole in my day (life;  you can substitute the word of your choice, depending on how dramatic you are .)  I have been mistaken.  There is no hole,  just relief.  The simple life  is giving me much relief.  

      This simplicity  is alive and well in how we are doing history and science.  I haven't  had much energy in the last few months to do any fancy curriculum  so we have just been going to the library  and looking up books  on the topics that interest the children.  Science  has been very fun this way.  A few weeks ago  I found some Janice VanCleave experiment books.  These experiments/projects  span the four areas of science.  Mia decided that she would like to focus on the chemistry experiments.  For the last two weeks,  we have been going through the book finding the experiments  that we have the supplies for and have been  trying them out.  This has been alot of fun.   The experiments haven't always worked, but the enjoyment  has been in the doing.

       We have been also  perusing  our  Usborne  books on Chemistry, as well,  to flesh out  our topic.  Earlier this week, when we were at the library,  I found some books on atoms and molecules.  I am having  Mia  read through the books and  writing an outline  of the book.  This seems to be working out very well.   In fact, our whole science time is working out well.  The kids are really enjoying  our time of discovery.

       In the early part of our school year,  I had a few history units planned.  I had attempted to carry these out in the last few months but  it just isn't working.   Our heads just aren't in the game yet.    So simple is being applied to history as well.   We have been reading  Sword in the Circle by Rosemary Sutcliff  for our unit  on Knights and Castles.  The kids and I are enjoying  just reading  this book.  We are learning alot just from the reading.   I have decided that this is what we are going to do for History--just read.  If something else pops up as a result of the reading,  then great,  but  if not, we will be happy with just the reading.   I have been thinking  that we will  read  books from various  time eras  and cover History in this way.   After  read the  Sutcliff book,  we will move on  to   Carry On,  Mr.  Bowditch.  I have been wanting to read this book to the kids for awhile but just couldn't fit it in anywhere.  We now have that time.

      For the first time in a very long time  I am feeling   calm about our history and science plans.  I am discovering  that  calmness usually is found in simple.   For this season of our lives,  simple is our life-saver.

     You have heard the expression  "I would love to be a fly on the wall in that house,"  well,  this is your chance.   I am inviting you to be that famous fly  and come into our home  to see its glorious state  ysterday afternoon.

      Are you ready?  All flies  enter  through  the back door, so as you come up through the back foyer and into the laundry room,  you immediately see green.  The tile floor has been stained green.  It is obvious (even to a fly)  that someone has tried to wipe up this green  but was unsuccessful.  This green has been wiped up on the cupboard doors as well  and it has spread on the counter.  There you see  a 6 yr. old girl  in her pyjaamas (it is 5:00 in the afternoon  and she is still in her pyjamas?  Silly humans!)  trying to wash the green off of her hands.  This girl  has green on her feet  and,  as she turns around,  you notice that she has green smudges on her face as well.

     The green-covered girl  turns off the water and  goes into the kitchen.  You follow her.  This room is full of turmoil  and action.  There is so much to see  you don't think you can do it all justice in a short period of time.  You start with the kitchen table.  One end of it  has strewn word tiles.  An older girl  is sitting before these word tiles  making words for her spelling program.  Next to her,  there is a discarded math book and a pile of papers.  In the middle of the  table there is a bowl covered with a paper towl.  Emanating from that bowl  is a foul odor.  Ewww!  What have they been doing here?  Next to the bowl is a dish with  a vinegar soaked  paper towel  (even a fly  can tell what vinegar  smells like)  with 4 pennies lying  on it.  The pennies have a greenish tinge to it.

     On the other end of the kitchen table,  you can see many painted pictures waiting to dry.  Some are so laden with paint  that they are sticking to the table.  Ahh!   That must be what that green stuff is in the laundry room.   Oh, there is that 6 yr. old girl again.  What does she have?   It is beads.  She has a pile of beads on the corner of the table  and she is stringing them  on a  plastic cord.  She must be making a necklace.  

      You turn  your attention to the kitchen island.   This is the site  of much activity  gone by.  There is an unopened bottle of vinegar, a jar of yeast  and a table salt box.   You can also see  some  spoons and measuring cup.  Next to this paraphernalia  is a black piece of construction  paper  with a messge written on it.  The message is a bit strange as it is written in   salt crystals.  You wonder how they did that?    On the kitchen counter are several  pieces of green-soaked  paper towels.  The pieces are slowly moving into place.

      As you start considering  moving to another room,  you hear  the sound of something scattering all over the floor.   There is that 6 yr. old girl again  (she does get around,  doesn't she?)  bemoaning the fact that her  necklace beads have scattered all over the floor.   The older girl  and the mom  assist her  with the mom  lamenting the fact that the floor was covered in salt, paint and now  beads.

      You want to get out of that room fast so you travel to the living room.  Chaos has lived in this room as well.  You see discarded paper plates on the coffee table.  These plates  have been coloured  different colours  to show  various fractions.  You deduce these are for fractions as you see a book with said  word on the cover.   Next to the fractons  is a compass set.   A jar  of crayons  and a colouring book complete the coffee table ensemble.

      The floor is in similar disarray.  Lying there is a pile of books.  You get closer  to see the titles as you are a literary fly.  This is what is on the floor;  Wizard of Oz,  A Christmas Carol,  Sword in the Circle, Among the Forest People,  Jesus Freaks  and  a book of poetry.  That is alot of books, even for a fly.  On the other side of the couch,  action figures  are laying every which way.  Someone had a good  play time  here,  you deduce.

      As you get ready to travel to the other rooms, you hear the sound of beads  scattering again.  sigh  That 6 yr. old girl is a busy one,  isn't she?   You travel down a long hall  but you don't see much action  until you get to the end of the hall, where there is a light  in one of the rooms.  You zoom in and see a boy sitting at the computer playing Solitaire.  He  is totally engrossed in his game  that he doesn't even notice you.   I mean, it is  the end of November.  You don't see many flies  at this time of the year.

      You look around the rrom  and  see  piles of dress-up clothes  laying on the floor.  It is chaos in this room   as well  but you notice  something  that you have noticed in the other rooms as well.  Every room is untidy,  yes,  even to the point of being messy  but,  in the midst of the chaos,  there is a feeling of happiness,  of contentedness.  Everyone is  doing their own thing  and they are content  in doing it.  There is a sense of joy  as they are learning  or in following their passion.  You like this feeling.

      You look at the clock  and realize that you have been here  way too long.   You have so much more to do today that it is time  to vacate  for  other frontiers.  As you zip out the door,  you have an acute feeling of relief  that you are not the mother of this house and that you do not have to clean up this mess.

     We went for our H1Ni vaccines  yesterday.   It was a long and torturous road  to get there.  That sounds so dramatic, doesn't it?   It  is the truth, though.   I vascillated back and forth about whether we should get these vaccines  or not.   If the last few months  had not existed for us,  this wouldn't even be an issue.  I do not see the purpose of getting  vaccines for every sickness or medical concern.  I give my children  their baby vaccines but that is as far as I go.   Due to our lifestyle,  I didn't see the purpose of getting the vaccine.

      Then  cancer came into our lives  and  everything changed.  I still didn't think there was a reason to get the vaccines  but  I was reading  someone's  blog  and read their account of their experience with H1N1.  I realized  that if my kids  contacted this flu,  I wouldn't have the emotional strength to deal with it. I was pretty weary  in dealing with the last few months,  I didn't have the fortitude to deal with even more sickness,  especially  if the ones being sick were my kids. Also,  I didn't want to put my kids through anymore drama.  We have been through enough this year.    So we decided to get the vaccine.

      The  flu clinic came to our  small town  yesterday.  I had told the kids the day before  what would be happening. Missy immediately stiffened with fear  and started to do her little cricket imitation (it's a long story but she does this when she is scared.)    I gave her all of the platitudes one gives when they want  to stop  fear  ( or, in our case,  the cricket thing.)   It wasn't working.   I then remembered  that our dear friend,   Mrs  E.  was doing the flu clinics this year.  The problem  was, though,  that there were two vaccine teams  going out  to two different towns each day,  so  the chances of Mrs  E  being in our town  was 50/50.   I asked Missy if she would like Mrs E  to give her  the needle.  I could see the fear start to dissolve from her face.   I then told her that we would have to pray  for this  as  Mrs  E was one of many nurses who would be at the clinic  and we might not get her,  but we would give this to prayer.   So we prayed.   

       We stepped into the hall, yesterday, where the clinic  was taking place.   Oh. my. word!   The people!  You would have thought it was Bingo day.   There were about  60 people ahead of us.  As we were waiting for our number,  Rocky spied Mrs E  at the back.  Praise God!   But she was one of 4 nurses  giving the needles.  The chances of her giving us our needles were slim,  so I prayed again. 

       Finally our number came up and we all herded (there were 5 of us,  it did feel like a herd) to the  place where they were dispensing the needles.  We waited for an opening of one of the stations.  Mrs.  E's  station was open,  she happened to look up  and saw us standing there.   Bless that woman!  She raised her hands  and yelled out  "Hi, ___________ family (you can insert our last name in that blank if you know it) ! "    She then  waved to the number lady,  "I can take all of that family."    Whew!    I have to say  that I was relieved to see Mrs  E  as well.   We all  unceremoniously  received our needles.  Mrs E  could tell that Missy was a little stressed and   she  'booped'  (the sound she made when the needle was over.  For some reason  that 'boop'  comforted the kids.  Oh, heck, it comforted me as well.)  the stress away.  

       On the way home,  we talked about how God  had answered our prayers.  It was a great life lesson for my kids.  We have seen how God  has taken care of us in the big  life issues  and it was equally comforting  to see that God is in the little things as well.

     Reading aloud to my kids  is one of the joys  I have from homeschooling them.  I love  reading to my kids  and  exposing them to wonderful words and thoughts.  Read alouds  are the anchor  to our day.  If we miss reading,  then our day  sits  a bit lopsided.

     It has amused me, of late,  to recognize  that these  read alouds  have not only  entertained my children  but they have given me  much food for thought  for my own life.  Who knew  that The Little House books  could teach you how  to live your life  in a way  that inspires joy?

     We have recently finiished  These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  This is the book where Almanzo  courts  Laura.  I have learned  a few things from reading this book.  Laura  is 16 yrs. old  and is old enough  to teach school now.  Her first  school  is 12 miles away from home.  In those days  that is quite a distance  so she needed to stay  with  another family during the week.  She stayed at the Brewster's  home.  This family was quite an eye-opener  for Laura, who was used to a quiet, happy and joyful family life.   Mrs.  Brewster  was the  complete opposite of Ma Ingalls.  I found this  very interesting.  Ma did not like  going off to parts unknown.  I don't think she really wanted to leave her family, initially,  but she agreed to it  because her husband had a yearning desire  to see what was further west.  Every time  her husband  decided to root up their family and move farther west,  Ma  quietly agreed.  She may have voiced her opinion  but she went along with her husband.  She did this  with  a happy  and quiet spirit.  She did not  conitnually  rail at Pa  that  she did not like  the uprooting.    Many people  would see Ma  as a doormat.  I don't.  I see her as a woman of strength.  She  was able to trust that her husband  knew what was best for her  and her family.  She trusted.  What is even more important,  she was able to extend that trust  into  joy  and happiness.  Quite simply,  Ma made the best out of a bad situation.  Wherever she was,  Ma made a home environment  that was full of peace and quiet.  But  Ma did have her limits.   In These Happy Golden Years,  Pa starts to get itchy feet to get travelling again and Ma very quietly but  strongly  says  that she will not move anymore.  Due to her  lack of nagging spirit,  Pa knows  tjhat Ma  means business so he drops the subject.   Ma's quietness  speaks volumes for her.  There is much strength  in her quietness.

       As I said before,  Mrs.  Brewster is the complete opposite.  She does share her dislike for moving with  Ma, but there the similarity ends.  Mrs.  Brewster  is what I call a fishwife.  She is a nagging,  bitter hearted  woman.   She hates  her life  and she is bound and determined  to make everyone hate their's  as well.   She is a sullen, angry woman  that takes every opportunity  to rail against her husband  and the mistakes he has made in brringing them to that God-forsaken land.  Her  bitterness travels on to her child, who is always  crying and screaming.  Mrs  Brewster's  husband  stays away in the barn  as much as he can  to get away  from  her berating  nature.  Mrs  Brewster has created an unhappy  family life  and it all stemmed from her.   Mrs Brewster  didn't have the inner strength  to turn things around for her.  She didn't try  to make her life better.  It was easier  to just  rant and rave.   I felt very sad  for her.  So did my kids.   Even  Mia could recognize  that  Mrs  Brewster's  husband  wanted to be anywhere else  but with her.

      I thought this portrayal of both Ma and Mrs.  Brewster  was  a powerful example of how we should handle  misfortune  and life bumps.   Life does not always   happen in the way that we would like  but  it is in how we handle those bumps  that is telling of our  character.  In dealing with them  in a Ma Ingalls  way,  those life bumps  don't seem as bad  and they have a tendency to work themselves out.  But when we handle life  from a Mrs. Brewster  point of view,  problems  and crisis'  multiply  and everyone becomes miserable.    This was a good lesson for my kids.  We had a few discussions  at Mrs.  Brewster's expense. 

      Another lesson we learned  was from  The Wizard of Oz.   We are reading that book now.  Yesterday,  we got to the part where the Tinman  and the Scarecrow were deciding what would be more valuable to have:  a heart or a brain.   I asked my kids what they would rather have.   I thought for sure that they would say  a brain  as we have had  conversations, of late,  as to how well a good brain  can serve us.   All of my kids said that they would rather have a heart, over a brain.   In Missy's  words, "You need a heart  to love others.  If you doh't have that, then you have nothing."   I thought that was pretty good for a 6 yr. old. 

     I have always  been a girl who likes structure.  I like  knowing  what is going to happen and when it will be happening.   I have previously been of the thought  that I was a flexible  person.  I mean,  my goodness,  I used to be a pre-school teacher,  you need to be flexible  in that line of work.   Something happened, though,  from that life  to the life  that I am inhabiting now.  I think maybe  it is  old age  or,  gasp!  peri-menopausal related.   Whatever the reason,  I do not like going with the flow  anymore.  I am just not good with it.   Surprises  are not my best friend.

     This love of structure  carries over into our learning time.   Now,  when I say structure  I do not  mean every subject has its own handy-dandy  time slot  (I am not that far into OCD land,  not yet anyway.)   My version of structure  comes in the form  of rhythm.  Our  learning time has a flow to it minus the timetable.  Our days start with  Morning Time,  math, reading  and writing,  lunch,  a big break then more learning time.   This was our day  BC  (Before Cancer.)

     Since our little life bump,  I am not finding  comfort  in structure.   Structure is no longer my friend.  Structure  is stifling to me now.  Structure has become  synonomous  with suffocation.   I don't want structure anymore.   I want freedom.   I think that just might be my word  for 2010:   freedom.

     I want the freedom  to start my day off with doing yoga  without those niggling little voices  whispering that this is really the time  for Morning Time, not Mommy Time.   I want the freedom  to be able  to play a game with my kids in the middle of the morning  without  those blasted voices  reminding me that we should be really doing  reading right  now,  not playing around.    

     I have been thinking about this for awhile.  Two weeks ago when I was told that the drama was all over,  I mistakenly  thought  "Yay,  we can go back to the way  life used to be."   That week we went back to our structured days  of learning  and I thought  my head was going to explode.  It all seemed so foreign to me.  By the time  lunch time arrived,  my head was pounding  and I was knee-deep in frustration.  

     i attempted to  do this again the following week  but I bailed after the second day.  I knew  that I could not do school like this  anymore,  well,  not for awhile anyway.   I spent the rest of that week  figuring out  how I was going to manage this.  I mean,  the kids had to learn.  I was definitely not going to send them to public school,  so I needed to come with a plan  on how  to loosen up our days.

     I think  we may have figured it out.   I told the kids  that  each day  they can decide when they want to do school.  If they want to do it in the morning,  then we will do it then.  If something pressing  pops up in the morning, then we can have our learning time  in the afternoon.   We can even do it in the evening if that would float their boat.  Our new  motto  is that learning has to be done every day  ( that will never change)  but  when they do that learning,  that  is up to them.

     Now,  we are fresh into this new motto  but, so far,  it is working out very well.   It has finally dawned on me that we are not morning people.   I have tried so hard to be a morning person  but it just isn't flying.  The kids  do not do well in the morning either.  They need some time  to ease into their day.  So the last few days  have seen them  starting  out with playing  (both inside and outside)  and then  we  spend a bit of time  with our Morning Time.   Mia has been starting  math  just before lunch and then the learning has been continuing after lunch.   

     The neat thing  about this  is that  our days  will not always  look like that.  Everyday  will be different.  Every day  will be fresh!  new!  alive!   I will never know  what to expect  from one day to the next.   You would think  after our rollercoaster ride of the past four months,  that  this kind of life  would scare the liver out of  me.  Quite the opposite.  I find it very refreshing.   I am looking forward  to this coming week  and to all of the surprises  that await us.   I am looking forward  to  next  week's  freedom. 

     I was talking to a friend on the weekend  about  how my life  now seemed like an emotional rollercoaster ride.   She  suggested  that I start 'drawing my prayers."   She said that she had begun to do this  and it  had added depth to her prayer life.

     This concept  comes from a  book,  Praying in Colour.   I looked at the website and was immediately intrigued.  Drawing your prayers  just makes them more visual and is a creative way  to pray for those that are important to me.In the simplest form.  This could just be doodling  or,  for those who are creatively hinged, they could be masterpieces.

     You can use this concept  to pray for one person  and include all of your concerns  on that one drawing,  or you can  bring all of your prayer needs  to that one creation.  It can also be used in helping you to memorize Scripture,  as a visual aid.

     As always,  I am drawn  to the  'next new thing.'   I know,  I am fickle.   But  this idea  intrigues my creative side.  Right now,  that side of me  is aching to break out and I think  praying in colour might help, at least for now.