Ponderings from my Heart

It's the last week and the last day of the challenge! Wow, the time really flew by didn't it? Who knew a month of Bible Reading could go by so quickly.

Thank you all for doing this challenge with me and sticking it out! It was a lot of work but I think it was worth it for me. I know I have developed a mental habit where, at the end of the day if I have not read my Bible, I begin to feel guilty. But I think this is a healthy kind of guilt. I think it is the Holy Spirit telling me that I still have something to do before I slip into bed! I've learned that it is so important to feed the Spirit daily. Just like our bodies need daily food to survive, so do our spirits!

Okay, I am so excited to reveal the winners! My little guy drew three random names from the all ladies that signed up on the Mr. Linky but before I announnce them I wanted to share these verses.

Philippians 3:14 says, "I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Hebrews 11:6 says, "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Earthly prizes cannot compare to the heavenly reward we will receive if we continue to seek Him diligently and press on in our walk! Be encouraged to stay in the Word daily to receive the heavenly prizes that are so much more precious than anything we receive on earth.

Congatulations! Please email me your name and address so that I can mail off your gifts this weekend!

Yes! We are on week four! We are almost there! I'm so excited! Weekends still prove to be difficult for me but reading the Bible daily is becoming more of a habit as each day goes by.

Last week life was just crazy and I was not feeling inspired so there was no "challenge week three" post, I'm sorry to say. But from that week, I think God revealed something to me that goes along with being in the Word daily.

I was reading in James and James is just full of good stuff but it was chapter 5:7-11 that I liked.

"7 Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.
8 You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.
9 Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned.Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!
10 My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience.
11 Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful."

It says to "establish your hearts". In what? In God's Word. The only way to do this is by reading His Word daily and by being rooted up in it. We need to value God's Word and prefer it to tv, movies, other books, entertainment, wordly pleasures, and selfish desires. When God's Word is first place in our life then our hearst will be established, unmoved, firm, and steadfast. It says in Psalm 112:6-8 that when our hearts are established we will not not be shaken, not be afraid of evil tidings, steadfast and trusting in the Lord.

There's also picture of an established heart in Psalm 1:2-3, "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper. " When your heart is established, nothing can move you! You are like a tree deeply rooted into the ground. You will not wither when trials come your way. Instead, you will prosper and bear much fruit!

When you are deeply rooted in God's Word, you can endure all the trials that come your way because God is your strength and you have His law and His promises deep within your heart. You know what you know is true and nothing can shake you. Then, like it says in James, you will be blessed because you endured and persevered faithfully. And the key, I think for me, is to be deeply rooted in the spiritual truth set in James 5:11. To know absolutely, always, without a shadow of a doubt in your mind, that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful. He has a soft , tender, generous, sympathizing, forgiving, and kind heart. (Psalm 86:5,15) He has your best interests at heart and loves you unconditionally.

Last week, I doubted His love to me. I turned my back on Him and my thoughts entertained ideas that were not true. Because my heart was not established and rooted I kept listening to the devil's deceit. I became afraid, I was angry at God, and as a result my faith swayed with my circumstances. As I repented, though, and realized what a wretched sinner I am, God showed me how merciful and compassionate He is. He took me back with open arms and loves me unconditionally. He is so faithful and true. Steadfast and never changing. That is how I want to be. Like a tree so deeply rooted in His Word that the devil's darts will never shake me. I have to be faithful in establishing my heart "for the coming of the Lord is at hand." I want to be ready.

My Review:
I love books that are based on a historical time period or on an individual in history. The main character of this book, Emma Giesy, a German-American woman, is a true and very real woman. She was the only woman who was sent off to the Oregon Territory in the 1850's. She had a very hard life. She experiences very trying circumstances and emotional times and the reader can identify with those struggles and sympathize with her. Jane Kirkpatrick's writing is very enjoyable as well. Very descriptive and full of details! I was given the opportunity to read all 3 of her books in this series and I really recommend buying the first two before reading the third in the series.

Spirited young Emma Wagner chafes at the constraints of her 1850s religious community, which values conformity over independent thought, especially in women. Skeptical of the colony’s growing emphasis on preparing for “the last days,” Emma clashes with their increasingly autocratic leader—and faces the unexpected consequences of pursuing independence.

This lyrical novel, based on an historical figure of the 1800s, follows the spirited and intelligent Emma Giesy, who achieves her goal of separating her family from the repressive religious community in which she grew up. But unexpected and dire consequences leave her family—and her faith—struggling to survive.

This richly textured novel, the third in the acclaimed Change and Cherish series, follows the historical figure of Emma Wagner Giesy, who chafes under the restrictions of her 1860s religious colony. When her bid to belong in her unique way unravels her most precious relationships, she seeks new ways to stitch meaning into her life.

Author Bio: Jane Kirkpatrick is the best-selling author of two nonfiction books and fourteen historical novels, including the popular Kinship and Courage series. Her award-winning writing has appeared in more than fifty publications, including Sports Afield and Decision. She’s won the coveted Western Heritage Wrangler Award, an honor shared by such writers as Larry McMurtry and Barbara Kingsolver. Jane is a licensed clinical social worker as well as an internationally recognized speaker. She and her husband, Jerry, ranch 160 acres in eastern Oregon.

I have two extra copies of A Mending Edge! For those interested, please leave me a comment naming a favorite book of yours and why you might like this one! Two entries will be drawn and the winners will be emailed. Drawing will be held this Friday night!

Review by Seth, age 15:
Do Hard Things is an inspiring book by twin brothers, Alex and Brett Harris, who understand the struggles teens face and how to overcome these struggles. This book focuses on the potential that teenagers have to make a difference in today’s society. The authors teach from personal experiences on how to remain focused on God during times of hardship and how to use those challenges for good. Each page is uplifting, instructional, and most of all, challenging. This book has helped me to realize that even though I am young, I can still be a leader. Even though people may not expect much of me, I can go above and beyond their expectations with the right attitude and God’s help. If all teens read this book and take its advice, there will be a “rebelution” in our society.

Summary:
With over 10 million hits to their website TheRebelution.com, Alex and Brett Harris are leading the charge in a growing movement of Christian young people who are rebelling against the low expectations of their culture by choosing to “do hard things” for the glory of God.
Written when they were 18 years old, Do Hard Things is the Harris twins’ revolutionary message in its purest and most compelling form, giving readers a tangible glimpse of what is possible for teens who actively resist cultural lies that limit their potential. Combating the idea of adolescence as a vacation from responsibility, the authors weave together biblical insights, history, and modern examples to redefine the teen years as the launching pad of life and map a clear trajectory for long-term fulfillment and eternal impact.
Written by teens for teens, Do Hard Things is packed with humorous personal anecdotes, practical examples, and stories of real-life rebelutionaries in action. This rallying cry from the heart of revolution already in progress challenges the next generation to lay claim to a brighter future, starting today.

Author Bio:
Alex and Brett Harris founded TheRebelution.com in August 2005 and today at age 19 are the most popular Christian teen writers on the Web. The twins are frequent contributors to Focus on the Family’s Boundless webzine, serve as the main speakers for the Rebelution Tour conferences, and have been featured in WORLD magazine, Breakaway, The Old Schoolhouse, and the New York Daily News. Sons of homeschool pioneer Gregg Harris and younger brothers of best-selling author Joshua Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye), Alex and Brett live near Portland, Oregon.

I have one beautiful hardback copy of this book to give away! If you have a teen at home and would like the chance to win, please leave me a comment and tell me how your teen has been growing in the Lord and desiring to live for Him. Entries must be in by Friday April 18th and the winner will be emailed.

It's only week two and I already got off track on my reading, almost. For me, I've found I can usually read my Bible in the morning when my little guy is eating breakfast. If I don't finish, I can do more reading during naptime. But over the weekend I never have a schedule. I remembered Saturday afternoon that I had not read my Bible yet and got after it, but then yesterday I remembered just before bed. So, I'm still on track, but just barely! I know I would not have gone to all the work of getting out of bed to go read, if it were not for all of you ladies keeping me accountable. In fact, this whole week I've been reading about how important it is to God that I remain accountable or "faithful" to Him. That word "faithful" stood out to me many times this week so I know God is trying to get my attention. Earlier this week I read these verses on faithfulness.

I have a book giveaway at my other blog. I'm giving away 2 copies of the book, Family Squeeze by Phil Callaway. If you are interested…leave me a comment HERE. I’ll be emailing the winners!

You can check back at that blog if you want more giveaways because I have another one coming up in late April.

Book: The Next Level
Author: David Gregory

Summary: Business degree in hand, Logan enters the immense Universal Systems building and is hired as an organizational analyst – a trouble-shooter. His job: evaluate the company’s five divisions, each on a separate level and each operating on startlingly unique principles. Which set of principles is successful? Why is most of the company’s profit generated by one tiny division? What is real profit, anyway? And who is the enigmatic executive that Logan ends up reporting to?
Logan engages in a life-changing pursuit for The Next Level—a fascinating parable that will help readers answer some of life’s most perplexing, vital questions. Joining Logan in evaluating each level’s approach, readers will be inspired to consider the big picture of their own life from an entirely different perspective – one that holds the key to life’s ultimate purpose. No matter where you are now, get ready to embark on your own passionate pursuit of The Next Level.

Author Bio: David Gregory is the author of the best-selling books Dinner with a Perfect Stranger and A Day with a Perfect Stranger, and coauthor of two nonfiction books. After a ten-year business career, he returned to school to study religion and communications, earning graduate degrees from The University of North Texas and Dallas Theological Seminary. A native Texan, David now lives in Oregon devotes himself to writing full time.

My Thoughts: The Next Level is a book about a unique computer software corporation. In the story, we follow the experience of Logan, who is hired as an organizational analyst to evaluate each of the company’s five divisions, and identify what they’re doing well and what they’re doing poorly. Even though he’s a new hire fresh out of college, Logan reports directly to the director of the company on Level 5. Through his evaluation process, Logan makes some very interesting and unusual discoveries about the company….

When I heard about this book, I was really looking forward to reading it. I’ve worked for two large companies since graduating from college, so a modern-day parable of a large corporation that would help me understand my purpose in life certainly sounded fascinating! However, I was a bit disappointed when the parable didn’t make sense at face value.

…In Logan’s analysis of Levels 1 through 4, he discovers that all except for one of the divisions on those levels is losing money. And the one that is making a profit, isn’t making much. Considering that the first four levels consist of thousands of employees, you would think that the company would have to be losing money. However, through the efforts of Level 5 (made up of a few tens of employees), the overall company somehow makes a good profit. As I was reading, I was excited to find out what really great product Level 5 created that brought in so much profit! When I discovered that their “product” wasn’t a product at all, well...I just wasn’t able to relate.

Not that this book doesn’t make you think about your relationship to God and your purpose in life. It does do a good job of revealing the futility of living for yourself or living for anything besides God. And it makes you wonder why God puts up with us when we ignore what he asks us to do and go our own way. Unfortunately, it also makes you question the necessity of studying God’s “manual” by implying that if you have a close personal relationship with God, studying his Word is really only necessary to keep less godly Christians from looking down you.

The beauty of the parables Jesus told his followers was that his stories were a simple description of everyday life, and for those whose ears were open those stories revealed a deeper spiritual truth.

I have 2 copies of this book to giveaway.

Leave me a comment if you'd like a copy!

Check out my friend Heidi's blog for your chance to win a great assortment of goodies! Books, a magazine subscription, and a puzzle to help wait for Spring to arrive. FUN! I personally have my eye on the Yada Yada Prayer Group book. I've seen and heard a lot about it and it just looks like a fun book.

It is March FIRST, time for the FIRST Day Blog Tour! (Join our alliance! Click the button!) The FIRST day of every month we will feature an author and his/her latest book's FIRST chapter!

This month's feature is:

Sharon Hinck

and her book:

The Restorer's Journey

Navpress Publishing Group (February 7, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Sharon Hinck holds a BA in education, and she earned an MA in communication from Regent University in 1986. She spent ten years as the artistic director of a Christian performing arts group, CrossCurrent. That ministry included three short-term mission trips to Hong Kong. She has been a church youth worker, a choreographer and ballet teacher, a homeschool mom, a church organist, and a bookstore clerk. One day she’ll figure out what to be when she grows up, but in the meantime, she’s pouring her imagination into writing. Her stories focus on characters who confront the challenges of a life of faith. She’s published dozens of articles in magazines and book compilations, and released her first novel, The Secret Life of Becky Miller (Bethany House), in 2006. In April 2007, she was named “Writer of the Year” at the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. When she isn’t wrestling with words, Sharon enjoys speaking at conferences and retreats. She and her family make their home in Minnesota. She loves to hear from readers, so send a message through the portal into her writing attic on the “Contact Sharon” page of her website, http://www.sharonhinck.com/. She is also an avid blogger...visit Stories for the Hero in All of Us. The first and second books in The Sword of Lyric series are The Restorer and The Restorer’s Son. The FIRST chapter shown here is from the third book, The Restorer's Journey. Enjoy!

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Chapter One - JAKE

My mom was freaking out.

She stared out the dining room window as if major-league monsters were hiding in the darkness beyond the glass. Give me a break. Our neighborhood was as boring as they came. Ridgeview Drive’s square lawns and generic houses held nothing more menacing than basketball hoops and tire swings. Still, Mom’s back was tight, and in the shadowed reflection on the pane, I could see her biting her lip. I didn’t know what to say to make her feel better.

I ducked back into the kitchen and used a wet rag to wipe off the counters. Clumps of flour turned to paste and smeared in gunky white arcs across the surface. I shook the rag over the garbage can, the mess raining down on the other debris we’d swept up. Broken jars of pasta and rice filled the bag. I stomped it down, twist-tied the bag and jogged it out to the trashcan by the garage. Usually, I hated the chore of taking out the trash. Not tonight. Maybe if I erased the signs of our intruders, Mom would relax a little.

So Cameron and Medea dropped a few things when they were looking for supplies. No biggie. Why did my folks have such a problem with those two anyway? They’d been great to me. I trudged back into the house, rubbing my forehead. Wait. That wasn’t right. A shiver snaked through my spine. Never mind. They were probably long gone by now.

“Kitchen’s done.” I carried the broom into the dining room, hoping Mom had finished in there. But she was still hugging her arms and staring out the window.

She turned and looked at the china cabinet, then squeezed her eyes shut as if they were hurting. “Why?” she whispered.

Glass shards jutted from one cabinet door, and the other hung crooked with wood splinters poking out. Broken china covered the floor. Mom and Dad had been collecting those goofy teacups ever since they got married.

I pushed the broom against the edge of the fragments, but the *****ing sound made her wince, so I stopped.

Dad strode past with an empty garbage bag from the hall closet and stopped to give my mom a squeeze. He nodded toward me. “Honey, Jake’s alive. Nothing else matters. We all got back safe.” He leaned his head against hers, and I edged toward the kitchen in case they started kissing. For an old married couple, they were a little too free with their public displays of affection. No guy wants to watch his parents act mushy.

But my mom didn’t look like she was in a kissing mood. She pressed her lips together. I had a sneaking suspicion that she was more freaked out about what had happened to my hand than our house. Like when I had cancer as a kid. She’d gotten really stressed about the details of a church fundraiser and cranky about everything that went wrong—stuff that wasn’t even important. It gave her a place to be angry when she was trying to be brave about a bigger problem.

“It’s only a piece of furniture.” Dad was doing his soothing voice. When would he catch on that only made things worse?

“Only a piece of furniture we bought as a wedding gift to each other.” She swiped at some wet spots on her face. “Only twenty years’ worth of poking around garage sales and thrift stores together. Don’t tell me what it’s only! Okay?”

“Okay.” Dad backed away from her prickles.

I made another ineffectual push with the broom. My folks didn’t argue much, but when they did, it grated like a clutch struggling to find third gear. Typical over-responsible firstborn, I wanted to fix it but didn’t know how.

Mom picked up a Delft saucer, smashed beyond repair, and laid the pieces gently into the garbage bag. Dad folded his arms and leaned against the high back of one of the chairs. “I can fix the cabinet. That splintered door will need to be replaced, but the other one just needs new hinges. I can put in new glass.” His eyes always lit up when he talked about a woodworking project. The man loved his tools.

Mom smiled at him. Her tension faded, and she got all moony-eyed, so I ducked into the kitchen just as the doorbell rang. Thank heaven. “Pizza’s here!” I yelled.

Dad paid the delivery guy, and I carried the cartons into the living room. Flopping onto one end of the couch, I pried open the lid. “Hey, who ordered green peppers? Mom, you’ve gotta quit ruining good pizza with veggies.”

That made her laugh. “We’d better save a few pieces for the other kids.” She cleared the Legos off the coffee table and handed me a napkin.

I gladly surrendered the top pizza box, along with its green pepper, and dove into the pepperoni below. “Where is everyone?”

“Karen’s spending the night at Amanda’s—trying out her new driver’s license. Jon and Anne are at Grandma’s. But if they see the pizza boxes when they get home tomorrow . . . ”

I nodded. “Yep. Pure outrage. I can hear it now. ‘It’s not fair. Jake always gets to have extra fun.’” I did a pretty good impression of the rug rats. What would the kids think if they found out what else they had missed? This had been the strangest Saturday the Mitchell family had ever seen.

I popped open a can of Dr. Pepper. My third. Hey, I’d earned some extra caffeine. “So, what do we tell the kids?”

Mom smiled and looked me up and down, probably thinking I was one of the kids. When would it sink in that I was an adult now? I guzzled a third of my pop and set it down with a thump. “We could tell them there was a burglar, but then they’d want to help the police solve the case, and they’d never stop asking questions.”

“Good point.” Mom licked sauce from her finger. “Jon and Anne would break out the detective kit you gave them for Christmas.”

Dad tore a piece of crust from his slice of pepperoni. “If we finish cleaning everything, I don’t think they’ll pay much attention. The cabinet is the only obvious damage. If they ask, we’ll just say it got bumped and fell.”

Dad wanted us to lie? So not like him. Then again, when Kieran told me Dad wasn’t originally from our world, I realized there were a lot of things he’d never been honest about. Now I was part of the family secret, too.

He rested his piece of pizza on the cardboard box and looked at Mom. “Do we need to warn them?”

“Warn them?” She mumbled around a mouth full of melted cheese.

“In case Cameron and Medea come back.” His voice was calm, but I suddenly had a hard time swallowing. Something cold twisted in me when he said their names. The same cold that had numbed my bones when I’d woken up in the attic. Why? They’d taken care of me. No, they’d threatened me. Confusing images warred inside my brain.

“You think they’ll come back?” My baritone went up in pitch, and I quickly took another sip of pop.

Dad didn’t answer for a moment. “It depends on why they came. If they plan to stay in our world, we need to find them—stop them. But my guess is that Cameron wants to return to Lyric with something from our world that he can use there. That means they’ll be back to go through the portal.”

Mom sank deeper into the couch and looked out the living room windows. At the curb, our family van shimmered beneath a streetlight.

They might be out there, too. They could be watching us right this second.

“Maybe we should call the police.” Mom’s voice sounded thin. I’d suggested that earlier. After all, someone had broken in—well, broken out.

Dad snorted. “And tell them what?”

He had a point, but it’s not like there was a rulebook for dealing with visitors from other universes. Unless you attended Star Trek conventions. “So what’s your plan?” I asked.

“I’ll get extra locks tomorrow. Maybe look into an alarm system.” Dad believed every problem could be solved with his Home Depot credit card. He turned to me. “Can you remember more about your conversations with Cameron? What did he ask you about? What did he seem interested in?”

A shudder moved through me, and pain began pulsing behind my eyes.

Mom gave Dad a worried glance, then rested a hand on my arm. “It’s okay, honey. We don’t have to talk about it right now.” She smoothed my hair back from my face.

“No problem.” I brushed her hand away, sprawled back on the couch, and studied the ceiling. “It just seems like it was all a dream.”

“What’s the last thing you remember clearly?” Dad pulled his chair closer and watched me.

“Braide Wood.” I closed my eyes and smiled. “It reminded me of summer camp. And I was so tired of running and hiding in caves. I finally felt safe. Tara fussed over me, and I taught Dustin and Aubrey how to play soccer. It felt like home.”

I struggled to remember the rest. For some reason my memories were tangled up, like the time I had a major fever and took too much Nyquil. Mom and Dad waited.

“I went to see Morsal Plains with Tara. Brutal. The grain was all black and it smelled weird. Tara told me about the attack. How Hazor poisoned it on purpose and how Susan the Restorer led the army to protect Braide Wood.” I squinted my eyes open and looked sideways at my mom. They’d told me she had ridden into battle with a sword. “Unbelievable.”

Even though she was watching me with a worried pinch to her eyes, she smiled. “I know. I lived it, and it’s hard for me to believe.”

“Anyway, I hiked back to Tara’s house, and some guys came to take me to Cameron. He made a big fuss over me. Said it was his job to welcome guests to the clans. Said I’d run into bad company but he’d make it up to me. He gave me something to drink, and there was this lady. She was amazing.” No matter how fuzzy my memories were, Medea was easy to remember. The long curly hair, the sparkling eyes, the dress that clung to all the right places. My cheeks heated. “I can’t remember everything we talked about. She made me feel important, like I wasn’t just some teenage kid. It was . . . ” I sat taller and angled away from my parents, my jaw tightening. “She helped me realize that no one else had ever really understood me. I wanted to become a guardian. I had an important job to do.”

“Jake.” Dad’s voice was sharp, and I flinched. “The woman you met was a Rhusican. They poison minds. Don’t trust everything you’re feeling right now.”

A pulsing ache grabbed the base of my neck. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes. Mom’s hand settled on my shoulder, and I stiffened. Weird static was messing with my head.

“Jake, they used you to find the portal. She doesn’t really understand you.” Mom’s voice was quiet and sounded far away. I felt like I was falling away inside myself. She squeezed my shoulder. “Remember my favorite psalm?”

I managed a tight smile. “How could I forget? You made us learn the whole thing one summer. ‘O Lord, you have searched me and you know me…’ blah, blah, blah.”

Despite my smart aleck tone, the words took hold and some of the static in my brain quieted.

“What’s the rest?” Dad pressed me.

What was he trying to prove? That I couldn’t think straight? I could have told him that. I struggled to form the words.

“‘You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.’” Once I got started, I rattled off the verses by rote. In some strange way, the words actually stopped the sensation of falling away inside myself.

“Sounds like there’s someone who understands you a lot better than Cameron and Medea. Remember that.” Dad stood up and tousled my hair. Then he yawned. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Mom didn’t move. She was still watching me. “How’s the hand?”

I rubbed my palm. “Still fine. Weird, huh?” I held it out.

A scar, faint as a white thread, marked the skin where broken glass had cut a deep gash an hour earlier. My lungs tightened. What did it mean?

Dad shook his head. “Come on. Bedtime.”

Mom hesitated, but then stood and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. “Good night, Jake. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

Oh, great. She sure loved talking. I looked at Dad. His mouth twitched. “I’ll get us signed up for some practice space at the fencing club.”

Good. He hadn’t forgotten his promise. I couldn’t make sense of my trip through the portal, or the sudden-healing thing, but I knew I wanted to learn to use a sword.

My parents gathered up the pizza stuff and carried it to the kitchen, out of sight, but not out of earshot.

“If we hide the portal stones Cameron and Medea won’t be able to go back,” Dad said over the crinkling of a sheet of aluminum foil.

Someone slammed the fridge door shut hard enough to make the salad dressing bottles rattle. “We don’t want them running around our world. They don’t belong here.” Mom sounded tense.

“I know. We have to send them back. But on our terms. Without anything that would hurt the People of the Verses. And what about Jake?”

Silence crackled, and I leaned forward from my spot on the couch.

When Mom refused to answer, Dad spoke again, so quiet I almost couldn’t hear. “We need to keep the portal available in case he’s needed there. But how will we know?”

Needed there? Did he really think . . .?

I waited for them to head back to their bedroom, then slipped down the steps from the kitchen to the basement. Most of the basement was still unfinished – except for my corner bedroom and Dad’s workbench.

I hurried into my room and shut out the world behind me. Tonight everything looked different. The movie posters, the bookshelves, the soccer team trophy. Smaller, foreign, unfamiliar.

I pulled a thumbtack from my bulletin board and scratched it across my thumb. A line of blood appeared, but in a microsecond the tiny scrape healed completely. I had assumed the healing power was some heebie-jeebie thing that Medea had given me, or that had transferred over from my interactions with Kieran.

But now that my head had stopped throbbing, I could put the pieces together. Excitement stronger than caffeine zipped around my nerve endings. My folks thought this was more than a weird effect left over from my travels through the portal. They thought I might be the next Restorer

Before I was a Mom--
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom --
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom--
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom--
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom--
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom--
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

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