That sweet little boy Parker died last night.  It made me so sad to think about his sisters and parents and the loss that they're going through.  My little Giggles is just a few months younger than Parker was, and the hole that would be left in our family without him is unthinkable.  Only with God could I go through something like that.  It makes me hurt for those who don't know Christ and think about how they might deal with such a loss without relying on Him. 

I'm trying to look for God's hand in my day more.  I know He's there, but I'm not very careful at seeing his handiwork in my life, especially during a regular busy day.  So today I saw Him:

I've been using a daily prayer chart for the kids for years -- some times better than others.  Today I prayed for generosity for the boys, which was timely because DH mentioned to me on his way out the door, "Hugs needs to work on not being selfish today."  Tonight, as I was putting Giggles down, he wanted a puppy dog to cuddle.  He doesn't have one.  I started to tell him that we could as Smiley for one, when Hugs runs in with one of his puppies.  Right there!  He just gave one to Giggles.  When I talked with Giggles later on and that I'd prayed for him to be generous, he said, "Hmm, I guess I was twice today.  Once with the puppy, once with Smiley when he wanted to play with one  of my planes."

Life is all about baby steps and I'm thankful for God's presence in this little movement forward. 

     DH and I had a wonderful talk on Sunday, and the results of the talk have transformed our homeschool, so I thought I'd better write about it before I forget.

     I really, really love homeschooling.  However, there are some days that I feel like I'm just not connecting with Hugs -- like all I'm doing is barking orders to do this assignment or do that one.  This is not the vision I have for our homeschool.  We seem to have gotten into a rut, and I could sense we needed a change in something, or else I risked ruining the relationship with my 8 year old.

     So, with DH's approval, I decided to focus on what Hugs loves about school -- reading together on the couch cuddled under a blanket (which we do even in the summer unless it is extremely humid).  Our general routine had been to start the independent assignments first thing after breakfast and do our read alouds (science, history, literature, Bible) mostly after lunch.  For the past three days, we've started our school day with a pile of books, a warm blanket and friendly banter about who gets to sit where on the couch for our reading time.   Right now, we're reading Red Sails to Capri, which is a great, witty boy book full of adventure and mystery.  We are reading some poems (which don't get nearly the loud groans that they used to get -- a positive development, for sure) and some Aesop's Fables ("I really like these, Mom").  Oh, and the Kids Day-by-Day Bible, too. 

     There are two cool effects from this change: (1) I get to start off the day cuddling at least 1 of my boys.  The other two usually play around us, and occasionally Hugs and I get sat upon by one of the others for a few minutes (2) The rest of our schooling for the day has been met with minimal grumbling and complaining.

     I'm filing this under "God Spotting" because this change in the aroma of our homeschool can only come from Him.

I've only known one soldier who has been to Iraq and back -- the son of a friend at church.  Since summer, I've been trying to make it a point to thank every soldier that I see.   I am just so grateful for their service and the sacrifice they make.   I found this great slide show at Operation Shoebox about what it is like for a returning soldier.  Please take a moment and view it.  Then, next time you see a soldier at the mall or crossing the street, please take a moment and thank them.

When a Soldier Comes Home From War

     I was sweeping the kitchen/ dining room floor this Saturday for the millionth time, and thinking to myself, "I hate having a dirty floor."  I'm one of those walk-around-the-house barefoot (or socked in the cooler weather, which in New England is most of the time) sorts of people, but I hate the "crunch!"  from stepping on a Cheerio, cracker, or grape (they don't crunch, but you know what I mean) as well as the other remnants of my family's life that are stuck on the floor.   

    In our house, the chore chart says that Hugs sweeps after breakfast, Smiley after lunch, and I sweep up after dinner -- but let's be honest:  there are days I do all the sweeping, and days none of us does it.  We even have a variety of tools to complete this job (why do I buy so many tools for a job I hate?):  a Quicksweep stick vacuum, good old fashion Valeda broom, and the new full-power-but-featherweight-light-and-dressed-in-oh-so-sweet-retro-lime-green vacuum.  Even with all these options, it still is an icky job.

    So, back to sweeping on Saturday.  I was thinking that I'd just post a rant about sweeping, because I know I can't be the only person in American who hates sweeping.  Then, I tried to think about it from God's perspective and WHAM! I realized that all this sweeping that I am constantly doing is just like what God does to me everytime I come to him saying, "Lord, I screwed up."  And when days go by and I haven't come to him with all the messed up crumbs of my life which are now scattered over the floor of my heart, He is so gracious and doesn't leave it til tomorrow.  He grabs his broom of grace and mercy, and cleans out my heart on the spot.  And, I'm so thankful for that.

     So, then I get to the application of this little Life Lesson that God had shared with me (I just realized it now, as I am re-processing my Saturday):  "Do a better job with your kids.   Forgive them more gently, more mercifully, more gracefully when they make childish mistakes." 

     I admit, sometimes I get too wrapped up in the "doing" of homeschooling, that I forget to take those opportunities for teaching The Important Things.  I don't want my boys to remember these days with me yelling, directing, and commanding.  I want them to remember the fun we had building castles and catapults, and other crazy stuff I can't even imagine right now.  I want them to remember that we cuddled under blankets in our pjs on cool mornings and read great books with great lessons for their lives.  I want them to be able to ask me questions about the important stuff and have us discover the answers together.  I want them to remember that I took ttttiiiiimmmmmeeeee to patiently teach them their math facts, their phonics rules, and their grammar rules.

     Dear Lord, thank you for always being their;  for answering my calls for help to clean out the mess I've made of my heart when I've tried to do life without You.  I don't ever want to take advantage of your mercy and grace.  Help me, Lord, to not take advantage of the gift you've given me to be able to stay home with these precious children you created.  I'm awed that you entrusted them to me.  I can't do this homeschooling thing without you (let alone the childraising part).   Lord, let them see You through me as I teach them, train them and correct them.   Amen.

I think I'll go check on that dining room floor now.  I suspect it needs a gentle sweep.

     Oh, our God is good, all the time!

     Giggles had his sleep-deprived EEG today;  while we don't know the results for a week or so, at least he successfully slept for the procedure.  Something that I was thoroughly dreading (depriving him of sleep) went really, really well, thanks to God's answering of prayers.

    [Giggles had an EEG because of two supposed breath holding spells in the past four months.   He cries a couple short cries, then stops breathing, his lips get cyanotic, he stares through you and gets rigid, then his eyes roll back into his head before he finally gets a breath.  It is the scariest thing I've ever yet seen in my life. So, we're ruling out seizures vs breath holding spells.]

   So this was the plan:   a pajama party of movies for all three boys (how could I make Hugs and Smiley go to sleep while their baby brother was jumping around at midnight???) unitl Midnight.  Yes, midnight; a 22 month old had to stay up to midnight!  They set up their sleeping bags on the floor, we made kettle corn (sugar was the theme of the night) mixed in some baby M & Ms (see what I mean?) and turned on Curious George and The Ant Bully.    Here's a couple pictures of my baby around 9:30 or 10 pm last night.  Note the bowl of M&Ms:  

    DH was at a meeting, then did a short run, but returned for the 10 to 12 am shift so I could get some extra sleep.   Then I woke up at 4 am and put on Curious George again (I am not shy to admit that I used a monkey to babysit my baby from 4 am to 5:30 while I lightly dozed on the couch and we cuddled.  It's 4am -- I use all resources at my fingertips to survive).  He was really a good boy for the entire morning.

     I forgot that Giggles need to stay awake for the drive, so it wasn't until 5 min. or so into our drive that i caught a glimpse of him sleeping in the back seat.  "Hugs!!!!!!  You've got to keep him awake!!! Wake him up!!" I yelled at the 8-year-old.   We made enough noise to rouse Giggles, then fed him chocolate chip pieces (yes, more sugar) for the rest of the way to the hospital.  "Mom,"  Hugs asks, "Can I have some chips, too?"   "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  I yell frantically.  "Those have to last the whole drive to the hospital!!"  They did, too, and it was funny to watch Giggles shovel piece after piece into his mouth!

     Giggles was amazingly cooperative as the electrodes were applied to his head; and even though he started to fuss during the last three, he wasn't horridly thrashing about.  He enjoyed all the songs I sang to him.  The minute it was all done and I cuddled him into the crook of my arm, his eyelids got very heavy and he dozed off.   He only needed about 23 minutes of sleep, so I woke him and it was all over. 

    Thanks for all your prayers!

     We have been reading about George Muller , a missionary in Bristol, England in the 1800s.  He was such a godly man of prayer, coming before God for everything he and his family needed.  Such a man of faith!  To be humble and trusting in God to meet every need -- and to be joyful and thankful for all he provides.  Reading this book is a good reminder to me to find more thankfulness in my heart and to come to God with all my wants and needs.  I need that reminder often.

     Well, this year marks Hugs' first year in Cal Ripkin baseball.  For the last 3 years, he's played TBall, missing the age cut off for Rookie level ball by a few months.   Being in a new town with a different baseball league, we weren't quite sure what level to sign Hugs up for.   So, with dh's blessing that I would make the right choice, I signed him up for Minor A.  This is the first level of kid-pitch ball.  He's at the youngest age bracket for this level, and we both agreed that this was a good place to park him for the next couple years.

     The team has had 4 games:  they lost their first 3 and just one their first game on Monday.  Hugs has had a hard time connecting with the ball;   he is afraid he's going to get a baseball in the face.  More specifically, he's afraid a ball is going to thunk him on his nose, which he broke about this time last year in a bike accident (ran into a metal gate -- ouch!).

     Before he left for his game tonight, I prayed with Hugs that God would keep him safe and injury free; that God would help take fear away from him and help him to hit the ball.  Praise God, he cares about our prayers!  Hugs was up to bat twice, got TWO hits and even made a run for his team!  I'm so excited for him, but more so that God showed himself to this little boy, and showed that we can come to him for anything -- and everything.

     We didn't have a chance to read any of our book tonight after the game (Hugs' team standings should now be 2-3), so I'm excited to help Hugs see the that the same God who filled George's orphanages with coal, food, clothing and furniture is the same God who answered our prayer for a hit tonight.   God is good, all the time!