Did  you ever have one of those days when you didn't have a specific thing to blog about? Well I call those days my "Brain Cramp Days"

I have a few things floating around in my lil' head tonight..
(So I hope you all don't mind if I do ramble on about them)

One of my happier, less rant like thoughts is.......
I am OHHHHH SOOO anxious & excited about homeschooling our kids!
I know I got alot of planning to do as far as cirriculum  & learning the ropes...
However, Thank God I got my sis n law & all of you Great people to help me out if I need advice or have questions with stuff.
EVERYONE  here is GRRREEEAAAATTTT!!! Supportive & Energizing!!! Like a breath of fresh spring air!!!!
Also,..... We have big plans on making an actual teaching/fun room/art room for the kids. (but won't get into detail until we can actually start the project this spring!)  But God willing if all goes according to plan.. It will be awsome!

However, I am occasionally a bit nervous at the same time about the homeschooling thing..   for some reason I have always lacked self esteem/confidence in myself. WHY??!!!  I don't quite know??.
Probably just the stinky, crusty ol' devil trying to bring me down. But I am a bullhead & not gonna listen to his lies.. We know this is what God is leading us to do..Sooooo we are going to remain focused & lean on God & friends for encouragement & strive for the goal ahead of us .

I am also looking forward to being a good MOM & a good Wife again!
I'm excited about the opportunity to bringing the girls up in a God centered schooling atmosphere, also teaching the girls  things that will instill morals, character & make them Godly women & great wives someday! I also miss having a hot meal on the table for the hubby & kids, & actually being there to enjoy it with them!
(I never thought I'd say this..) but... I actually miss trying to keep up with the house work & trying to make things look neat & tidy! (I must be ill?!!!! LOL!), I also miss gardening &  keeping up with yard work so hubby can come home & relax & not do MORE work.  The list can go on & on & on... But I'm sure most of you can relate
I know this may sound bad of me.. But I CAN NOT wait to tell my boss that I am pretty much done with work by the end of March!
I know at first I was thinking  May.  & planning on working 1 or 2 days a week after May. But I am starting to think twice about all that.
I have been taking a GOOD HARD  look at all the stuff I let go undone over the last year & a half  & Also all the planning I have to do for homeschooling.
I have definatly decided that I better not push my luck! Because I tend to do that alot! 
For me, the one really bothersom problem I have with where I work is: the lack of compassion, understanding  & respect a few managers have for ALOT of the hard working employees & for us working moms!  The employees who actually care about their work they do!  It really burns me up how they take advantage of all us! 
It is like they don't really care what we feel or think no matter how nice we put it or how justified our reasons!
Just to fill all you in....I started there because I had an interest in that field & also because we needed the 2nd income just to keep up with the usual bills at the time. (Also, since my husband gets laid off every winter.)
When hired they knew that I only wanted to work about 4 days a week tops  & during the afternoons while the kids were in school & the hubby was at work.
Well that didn't last long.... instead of being in the afternoon.. it turned into ALL evenings! So now I am at work when the kids & husband are home!  DO NOT GET ME WRONG....I don't mind helping out & being a good worker. But now it has gotten to the point that I see my girls & the husband in the mornings for about 1/2 hour & if I get home in time I see the girls before they go to bed! It is not fair to them & my husband & very, very, depressing to me! . 
  I promised myself when starting this job, that I would NOT let work take priority over my family or interfere with my family life... Well it has! 
I have done ALOT of serious thinking & come to the realization that I probably will not be working my 1 or 2 days a week as I was planning to.
WHY??  Well #1.. I need to get my priorities straight again.
  God & Family come FIRST!!! (I have ALWAYS known this.. somehow I lost my path & I put them on the back burner.  ) Its way past due for that ALL to change.
Also I am DETERMINED to be a SUCCESSFUL Homeschooling Mom!
The final reason is..( I know that this will happen.) My work will say,
" Well we need someone to cover this shift  or can you work only these few hours or can you come in & work just this day..."  Then it becomes a habit & then they "assume" I don't mind!!!! The one thing about me I am sort of a sucker & feel obligated & want to help out. Which in turn gets me in a bind & messes up my priorities!

Soo... It looks like my "Brain Cramp" actually turned into an actual blog after all!! WoW I can't believe how much I just wrote! Sorry for ANOTHER LONG blog entry & RANT

Thanks for reading & listening to my "babbelings"

God Bless,
Shannon