Many years ago, my marriage was in a tough place.  There were many tears shed over my feelings of failure over my marriage.  My husband and I seemed like two ships passing through the night.  I was then given an amazing gift - a word from the Lord. 

For your Maker is you husband - the Lord Almighty is his name-    Isaiah 54:5

I was able at that point to turn to the Lord for all the things I thought my husband should be doing for me.  I recieved intimacy, love, affection, afirmation - all from the Lord!  What an amazing place that was to finally be sitting in.  I released my husband from any and all expectations I had put on him to be the intimate lover of my soul.   I freed him to love me the way he could and whatever he could do was more than enough because my "love bucket" had been filled to overflowing by Christ. 

Since those years of struggle, God has restored my marriage to a place of true healing and closeness.  But, there are still days that I go back to that passage of scripture to remind myself who my husband truly is.

Recently, I have been faced with a different struggle - this time with friendships.  Almost all my closest friends within the last few years have moved away.  Some made large moves, some made moves in thier schooling that caused natural distances.  I thought I was OK with this - and for a year I have been marching ahead with my life - until it hit me how lonely I was a few weeks ago.  I longed for that tight fellowship with my girlfriends.  I yearned for a long cup of coffee, laughter and meaningful conversation.  I just wasn't getting what I needed.

So, I have had a pity party for myself.  I have been moping around the house - poor me, I have no one to really talk to, no one who really knows me.  I finally broke down and cried to my best freind (over the phone) how hard it has been for me that she has moved out of my life.  Through our conversation I was able to admit that I had made the Lord my husband, but I had failed to make Him my best friend.

Praise God, that my friend, my sister was able to point me to the truest friend I will ever know - Jesus.  She led me to Song Of Solomon - chapter 5:16.  She taught me about how these chapters are describing the love relationship between the bridegroom (Jesus) and the bride (me).  In this verse, the bride is actively searching out her bridegroom, desperate to be in his presence again.  She describes him with these words, "This is my lover, this is my friend..."

What power these words spoke to my heart!  It was just what God had revealed to me that I had failed to do - I had failed to let God be my friend. 

So, today, I am grateful that His mercies are renewed daily and I have the chance to come to the throne of God searching for my best friend.  

Posted by cstett

Your blog popped up as I was "Random Blogging," and I enjoyed looking through a few entries. You had several things to say that I needed to read. Thank you for taking the time to blog, and I hope to be able to read more from you later.

Posted by Liberty

What a powerful and timely post for me to read.

Thanks you for sharing your heart and your revelation.

Blessings,
Theresa

Posted by Anonymous

Why is this Blog never updated anymore.

Posted by OreoSouza

What a neat blog! More specifically, what good insights and good writing! Thank you.

Posted by momofsix

I really like this blog. I appreciate your transparency. I think it is wonderful you are willing to be vulnerable in order to share and help other wives who might be struggling in this way. God bless you.