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Aug. 5, 2008
They say...
...that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I think I was insane.
There! I said it, I was insane.
Relief comes when you admit something that is hard to admit. Like insanity.
I admit that over the course of my life I have been spiritual and religious and not so religious and not so spiritual -okay so that's not repeating things over - insanity comes next. When all of those fail to bring what I seek (mostly peace of mind and soul), I start that cycle over - that's where MY insanity comes to light. But now, finally (I think), I am starting to do it differently. I have been reading Neale Donald Walsh and Eckart Tolle (thought I do find him a hard read) and lately Tom Harpur. I am finding out what I knew all along, deep down in the bottom of my soul, my heart, and my mind...and I am finding out the power of societal beliefs. I have found comfort in Walsh's assertions that in God's eyes I am indeed perfect, and that God isn't a big meanie and isn't holding out a big axe or hammer over my head ready to whoop me over to hell if I don't do as I am told he wants me to do (told by society, religion etc). I am finding out, or remembering that whatever I do is perfect in the eyes of God - and THAT, for me completes the teachings that God created me with free will.
I am sure a lot of people do not "believe" in God because of the free will thing. Really, has there ever been a religious person who has never questioned the free will thingie? I know I have. Only to be told that yes, God gave me free will - hence I can choose hell or heaven. And, little goodie two shoes me went on thinking that it was the way it was and I better be good because I sure didn't want to be in hell forever. BUT...
...As my son would say, what kind of choice is that? "I give you free will" says God, "but if you don't choose my way ROT IN HELL FOOOOORRREEEVERRRRRRRRRRRRR" (feel free to add the cavernous laughter here)- That's really not free will is it? That's coercion at it's best. And...
...we all know that God is love. Love, I know that, does not coerce. It simply does not. Love is kind, love is beautiful but love doe not coerce. Hence if you believe on one hand that God is love, how can you on the other hand believe the "heaven if you are good and hell if you are not" thing and the God given free will.
I did...
...and now...
...I don't.
I believe that God is love. I believe He gave me free will...and I believe I will go to heaven...Regardless of what I do on earth.
Yep...regardless of what I do on earth...regardless of what I do to others....or myself...and regardless of whether or not I believe in God (but I do choose to believe in God)...
...and when I get to heaven, I will reflect on my time on Earth, and live with what I did on earth...and that will be my heaven or my hell...and I know I will be okay with that...
...because my heaven or my hell begins here on Earth, I live my heaven day by day. I live it when I smile to another, when I hold the door for that old man, when I speak kindly of others and lead them to speak kindly to and of others, I live it when I love another...and I also live my hell day by day, when I fail to do things out of love and compassion. I live my hell when I don't act act God ...who lives in me. For if we are one body in Christ, and Christ is God, then we are one God...all of us together....Like Walsh says, it's not God against us. It's God in us, with us, part of us. We ARE ONE..
...now that makes sense to me.
And the ramblings go onto another day....
Dominique
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Aug. 5, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Just trying to understand. I know God is love and mercy and just and ....
But, why was the rich man in hell?
Or John 3:36 - He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.