I *think* that I am officially moving my blog to blogger. I have had one over there off and on for a while now and, although I love the HSB community, I'm a bit tired of all the glitches. Please check out that blog -- Free Heart Reflections
A couple of weeks ago during our Tuesday night prayer meeting at church we had a small group there and we took communion, but before that we had to talk about something that was a trial in the past year that we are thankful for (Pastor said 1 year, but I would have to make it 2). I wasn't actually in there -- DH told me about it -- I was taking care of the kids. I thought about what I would have said had I been in there and this is what I would have said:
Almost 2 years ago we became pregnant and were so thrilled after many months of trying to conceive and praying and disappointment. But then we lost the baby. It was very hard for me, obviously. The strangest things would trigger my emotions. A very dear friend lost her baby about 2 weeks before we did and so we were able to go through that together and that was a blessing. But still, it was very difficult, to say the least.
During that time we were in transition between a church that we had been in and the church that we were led to start a few months later, so we were visiting Free Chapel. I have to say that at a time like that it was nice, for me personally, to be "anonymous" and able to grieve and worship among many people whom I didn't know and who didn't know me. One Sunday we sang:
Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name
That was a big day for me ... I cried and cried all during that song. And I wanted to sing it over and over. It was the first time I was able to truly say to the Lord "Blessed be Your name regardless of what I am going through ... regardless of the fact that I just lost a precious gift of life..." Since then I have truly been able to sing these words and mean them with all my heart.
At that same time that we lost the baby the Lord was teaching me a lot about worship and about His love for me. And I came across this poem:
HEAVEN'S NURSERY
In Heaven there must surely be
A special place, a nursery
Where 'little spirits' not fully grown
Go to live in their Heavenly home.
The angels must attend with love
Tiny spirits on wings of doves,
The choir of angels must sing lullabies
Maybe quieten their tiny cries.
The Father must come by each day
To cuddle and play in a special way
These tiny spirits left earth too soon
Little ones called Home from the womb.
These sparks of life did not perish
But came to the Father's love to cherish,
To grow and be taught in His own arms
Safely away from all earthly harm.
The comforter was sent to earth at once
To the parents who lost their little one
Their hearts so ache, their arms feel empty
The question 'why' seems so tempting.
Then all at once in the midst of tears
There comes a peace that stills the fears
The parents share the Father's own need
To hold their tiny spirit being.
They relinquish their own desperate hold
And release their baby to the Father's fold,
Then comes an angel to whisper the truth
Of a nursery in Heaven bearing rich fruit
Of tiny spirits chosen to worship the Father
A place that couldn't be filled by another,
Called to be spared from the struggles of earth,
Chosen to be one of Heaven's births.
So Father, whisper words of love from me
To our unborn 'life' in your nursery.
The Lord blessed me that day when I read that ... how that tiny life's soul is now in heaven with Him worshiping the Father, spared from this earth's struggles and life.
Then ... I got pregnant in March (we lost the baby at the and of January). But that month I had "given up". I was tired of thinking about getting pregnant. I was tired of not being content with the blessing of my daughter, little Buttercup, that I already had. And guess what? The Lord blessed me greatly that month by beginning a new life within (both spiritually and physically) and 9 months later our precious Grace was born. You can read her birth story below!
Grace Evelyn was born on Thursday, December 15th, 2005 at 4:20 p.m. Here is the birth story ...
The birth was amazing and I would have done it in a heartbeat again if I could! I seriously mean that!!
We went in Wednesday night (Dec. 14) to begin the process. They put in the Cervidil and then I tried to get some rest, but I didn't get much. At 6 a.m. Thursday they woke me up to take out the Cervidil and let me shower and get ready for the big day ahead. They started the pitocin at 7 a.m. and the contractions began right away.
I got my epidural at about 10 a.m. and that was great ... it was just the right amount of medicine because I felt no pain, but wasn't completely numb. My midwife came in and out to check on me and visit with us and our family. Later in the afternoon the real fun began ...
At 4:00 p.m. Diane, my midwife, checked me and I was only at 6 cm. Diane was not pleased with that ... she didn't like how slowly she thought that I was progressing. We talked about how Little Buttercup's birth went the same way ... seemingly slow progression and then all of a sudden she was there. I told her that I didn't like the look on her face and asked her if she was concerned. She said no (after the birth she told us that the look on her face was because she was praying as we were talking!!). She asked me to bear down with my next contraction to see what that did to my cervix. She was pleased with that...
So she sat down and chatted with a friend of ours that had just arrived (Diane delivered her as well). Then I began to feel pain ... I said that I felt a contraction and felt like something was "between my legs". There were 2 nurses trying to find the baby's heartbeat with the monitor and neither could find it. They kept looking at each other wondering what to do, but little did they know that the baby was no longer where they thought she was ...
Again, I felt the next contraction hard, so Diane checked me and ... she announced that we were ready to have the baby! It was 4:10 p.m. and I went from 6 cm and 90% effaced to complete and the baby already coming down in about 10 minutes. They got everything ready and I pushed 3 times and Grace was here! We laughed and cried and laughed some more during the pushing ... it was truly a glorious experience!
Then everyone asked her name (we had kept it a surprise) and we announced "Grace Evelyn" ... Grace because the Lord gave us that name ... He taught us so much about His grace over those past 9+ months ... and Evelyn after my mom (who will never get over that!).
So ... I have been thinking about our next year of homeschooling - 2nd Grade - next year... almost a year away. But I don't want to do what I did last year and wait until the last minute to make my final decisions. So ......
I've been thinking ("a dangerous pastime" "I know" - Disney's Beauty and the Beast)
Another moral threshold was crossed when a tiny baby boy, at the specific request of his parents and with the sanction of the Supreme Court of Indiana, was starved to death in a hospital. "Infant Doe" (he was not allowed the usual recognition of being human by being named), born with Down's syndrome and a malfunctioning esophagus (the latter could have been corrected with surgery), died, as the Washington Post (April 18) stated, "not because he couldn't sustain life without a million dollars worth of medical machinery, but because no one fed him." For six days the nurses in that Bloomington hospital went about their usual routines of bathing and changing and feeding all the newborns except one. They bathed and changed Baby Doe but they never gave him a bottle. Over his crib was a notice, DO NOT FEED. Several couples came forward, begging to be allowed to adopt him. They were turned down.
What went on in that little box during those six terrible days and nights? We turn our imagination away. It's unthinkable. But if I were to think about it, and put down on paper what my mind saw, I would be accused of playing on people's feelings, and of making infanticide (yes, infanticide--call it what it is) an "emotional issue." Let me suppose at least that the baby cried--quite loudly (at first). One report says that he was placed in a room alone, lest his crying disturb others (others, perhaps, who were capable of helping him).
Joseph Sobran, in his column in the Los Angeles Times Syndicate, suggested that "opposition to infanticide will soon be deplored as the dogma of a few religious sects who want to impose their views on everyone else." The language sounds sickeningly familiar.
There has been a conspicuous silence from those who usually raise shrill protest when other human rights are violated--the rights of smokers, homosexuals, and criminals are often as loudly insisted upon as those of children, women, and the handicapped.
The handicapped? What on earth is happening when a society is so careful to provide premium parking spaces to make things easier for them, but sees no smallest inconsistency when one of them who happens to be too young to scream, "For God's sake, feed me!" is quietly murdered? It is in the name of humanity, humaneness, compassion, and freedom that these things occur, but never is it acknowledged that the real reasons are comfort and convenience, that is, simple selfishness. "Abortion not only prefers comfort, convenience, or advantage of the pregnant woman to the very life of her unborn child, a fundamentally good thing, but seeks to deny that the life ever existed. In this sense it is a radical denial not only of the worth of a specific life but of the essential goodness of life itself and the Providential ordering of its procreation" (R.V. Young, "Taking Choice Seriously," The Human Life Review, Vol. VIII, no. 3.)
But weren't we talking about infanticide and haven't we now switched to abortion? The premises on which abortion is justified are fundamentally the same on which infanticide is seen as civilized and acceptable. What Hitler used to call eugenics is now called "quality of life," never mind whether the life in question happens to be the mother's or the child's. Death, according to three doctors who put the issue out into the open in the New England Journal of Medicine in 1973, is now considered an option in the "treatment" of infants; in other words, a mortuary may now replace the nursery. One cannot help thinking of the antiseptic "shower rooms" of the Third Reich, where the unwanted were "treated" to death. Nor can one forget the words of Jesus, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" (Matthew 25:40, KJV).
Can any Christian argue that the smallest and most defenseless are, by virtue merely of being too small and too defenseless, not His brethren?
Those of you with Husbands and sons who hunt will appreciate this ...
Little Buttercup looking for deer ...
Little Buttercup enjoying her evening with her daddy ...
Isn't she cute? She was so excited about going hunting for the first time with her daddy. And they shot a deer and she watched him gut it ... she didn't flinch. The funny thing is that she can be such a girly girl and she is quite the drama queen. She is multifaceted and I love that about her (it's one of the ways that she is like her mama!)
It's been a while ... I have just been so busy!! Here' what has been going on ...
First, I am our Pastor's administrative assistant, which I do from home and so that takes time.
Second, I am our church's webmaster and I have been revamping our site and adding new features. One thing that I just added was our Pastor's sermons online & a podcast - check it out!!
Third, obviously we've been doing school :-)
Fourth, my almost-11-month-old is the biggest handful ever!
Fifth, I made a new blog - free heart - on Blogger... it's a personal blog about the nuggets the Lord is giving me daily since my fast - He won't stop talking to me - LOL - and I love it!!!
Okay, so that's the brief update on me ... it's all good!
The word humdudgeon is a new one to me and I like the sound of it. It means "a loud complaint about a trifle." Heard any of those lately around your house? One mother thought of an excellent antidote: all humdudgeons must be presented not orally but in writing, "of two hundred words or more." There was a sudden marked reduction in whining and complaining.
Parents, by example, teach their children to whine. No wonder it is so difficult to teach them not to! Listen to conversations in the elevator, at the hairdresser's, at the next table in the restaurant. Everybody's whining about everything--weather, health, the president, the IRS, the insurance mess, traffic, the kids.
Oooooo ... that would be me .... I am sure that I am a great role model of how to complain !!! I thought about this devotional when Little Buttercup began complaining about school. I told her that she may not complain with her mouth and that if she felt the need to complain, she must write it down using at least 29 words. You know what she did? She wrote "poowee" 20 times ... it just made me laugh ...
So ... I've made a commitment ... NO MORE complaining out loud with my mouth to anyone. If I feel the need to complain then I will just take it to the Lord. I've no idea how well I will do at keeping this commitment, but I'm going to try ....
People are always asking me this. What is this business of "submission" you're always talking about? We're not really very comfortable with this. Seems kinds of negative. Sounds as though women are not worth as much as men. Aren't women supposed to exercise their gifts? Can't they ever open their mouths?
I wouldn't be very comfortable with that kind of submission either. As a matter of fact, I'm not particularly comfortable with any kind, but since it was God's idea and not mine, I had better come to terms with what the Bible says about it and stop rejecting the whole thing just because it is so often misunderstood and wrongly defined. I came across a lucid example of what it means in 1 Chronicles 11:10, NEB: "Of David's heroes these were the chief, men who lent their full strength to his government and, with all Israel, joined in making him king." There it is. The recognition, first of all, of God-given authority. Recognizing it, accepting it, they then lent their full strength to it, and did everything in their power to make him--not them--king.
Christians--both men and women--recognize first the authority of Christ. They pray "Thy will be done." They set about making an honest effort to cooperate with what He is doing, straightening out the kinks in their own lives according to His wishes. A Christian woman, then, in submission to God, recognizes the divinely assigned authority of her husband (he didn't earn it, remember, he received it by appointment!. She then sets about lending her full strength to helping him do what he's supposed to do, be what he's supposed to be--her head. She's not always trying to get her own way. She's trying to make it easier for him to do his job. She seeks to contribute to his purpose, not to scheme how to accomplish her own.
If this sounds suspiciously like some worn-out traditionalist view, or (worse) like a typical Elisabeth Elliot opinion, test it with the straightedge of Scripture. What does submission to Christ mean? "Wives, submit yourself to your husbands, as to the Lord." Compare and connect.
I want to share with you a challenging ministry opportunity God has presented to my husband and me. During November, we have the opportunity to travel to a city in Africa in order to bring the light of Jesus to a dark world. For the purposes of protecting the work that God is doing in that area, we are not permitted to share the name of the city, or the country, to which we will be going.But we can tell you that the people group we will be visiting is a resistant Muslim un-reached people group.
The purpose of our trip is fourfold:
First, we will be allowing God to work in our lives through the personal enrichment that comes from this type of a mission trip. We are excited about how He is going to grow us and change us through this trip.
Second, this prayer journey will help us focus our individual prayers by traveling to a foreign land and praying 'on-site with insight.We will be walking around the city and diligently praying for the people that God may open their eyes and hearts to the message of Jesus and the One True God.
Third, we will be visiting an un-reached people group of which there are only 4 known believers in the entire world.It is imperative that they be shown the light of Jesus and His love, that they may in turn go and share Jesus with their own friends and family.
Fourth, because of the nature of their work, the missionaries to this particular people group are not able to communicate with one another, so our presence will bolster the spirits and support the work of missionaries in the area. They are living in a dark area among many deceived people that simply need to know the love that Jesus has for them.
Were excited about the opportunity and experience that lies ahead. We hope you see the value in what we will accomplish.
This trip will give us a better understanding of their culture.This trip will also help us get a clearer view for the religion & for these precious people that God loves (John 3:16).We can then bring home what we have learned and God can use that to enable us to minister to the same people group living right here in our own city.We pray that the Lord will use us to open their hearts to Truth.
Please pray for us that God would provide the funds needed and that His work will be accomplished. If you feel led of the Lord to contribute to our fund for the trip (you would not be sending the money to us, but to our church & it's tax deductable) you can email me - my email is on the right under "The Spider Web"
Our church is just finishing up our Global Impact Celebration. If you've never been to one you have missed out! If you have the means and opportunity to potentially organize or inform your church about one, contact Global Focus for more info.
It was not a boring week of listening to people asking for your money, it was a week of getting engaged with missionaries from all over the world ... personalizing global missions.
I have been burdened for a particular people group that is unreached and resistant to the Gospel in Africa. That is all I can say so as to not put the work that the Lord is doing in jeopardy. But the Lord has put them in my heart and on my heart.
Last night we watched a video with quotes from well-known missionaries. The following quote really jumped out & spoke to me:
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell."C.T. Studd
A you might have realized if you read my last post I have been fasting. I will share more about that at a later time because it's a long story. But the Lord has shown me many glorious things over this past 7 days and I will break the fast today. I can't believe this is the first time I have really fasted. I will do it again.
I wanted to share one thing in particular that the Lord spoke to me yesterday that is related to our homeschool ...
We were doing art and right now we are using Drawing with Children by Mona Brooks. We're doing warm-up exercises in which Little Buttercup is learning to observe and really look at things. In one of the lessons she is to draw mirror images (by the way, I found great drawing exercises on Donna Young's Young Minds CD ... found on her website!!)
She was having a hard time and I tried to explain to her that her little 6-year-old hands don't quite have the ability yet in their muscles to do such precise work. I then realized that I had been looking over her shoulder the entire time. She doesn't need that from me. I don't do well when I am learning something and I have someone looking over my shoulder, watching every move I make. I've had her under a microscope! I look over her shoulder as she writes, as she does math worksheets, as she draws. She does not need that and it is not good for her.
I might share more personal things the Lord has shown me later .....
6 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? ...
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
DCI Founder and Chairman, John Hendricks said, "Steve was a larger than life force. He brought joy and learning about the natural world to millions and millions of people across the globe..." DCI CEO and President, Judith McHale said, "I don't think we will ever get over the loss of Steve Irwin, a human being of enormous heart, irrepressible enthusiasm and dedication to everything he touched."
We love the Crocodile Hunter here ... he cracks us all up and, as someone stated on their blog (sorry I cannot remember right now who said it - it wasn't me, but I agree) he was much smarter than people give him credit for. He was an animated, exciting and devoted man who loved his family ... his passion will be missed.
Father God, please bless his sweet family and draw them to you in this time of great need.
Having worked with youth over the years I can tell you that young girls (women even) are searching for significance. Our enemies tell us, as females, that our significance lies in how we look and the attention that we command from others. Unfortunately we have fallen for the lie and this has led to increasingly immodest clothing and the s*xu*lizing of our entire culture. It has also led to our seeking our esteem in ourselves and others rather than in who we are in Christ. Ashamedly, I must honestly admit that I have fallen prey to this lie, and you can read about that and what I want to teach m daughters here.
I have bit of free time this a.m.until she wakes up, so I thought I would write about a acouple of things ...
1) I bought a *great* CD online a couple of weeks ago and it is AWESOME!! Are you looking for a really good worshipful CD that you can play during personal prayer/praise/worship time? Or one to play throughout the day in your home? I "met" Steve Sensenig through blogging & commenting on Spunky's site. He and his wife homeschool and a few weeks ago they were featured bloggers here at HSB. He plays the piano (very well!) and has 3 CDs ... who knew?
Anyway, it came in the mail while we were on vacation and was waiting for us when we got home. I promptly put it in the CD player and we have been listening to it ever since. Farm Boy likes to have it playing when he comes home in the evenings. Oh, I didn't mention the one we have is "To Worship You" ... here's the description from the website:
This project includes intimate interpretations of many modern praise-and-worship classics such as "Breathe", "We Bow Down", "Shout to the Lord", "Agnus Dei", and others.
2) I changed over from MicrosoftInternet Explorer & Outlook Express to Mozilla Firefox and Thunderbird ... both of which I like tremendously. I've never been one for doing things just because others are, and I'm not the hugest (is that a word?) fan of OE & IE, so why not give Mozilla a try? If you know what you're doing, it's really no big deal (and really, even if you don't ... it's simple!) ... this is justthe internet for crying out loud!
I can't tell you how much the ministry of Clay & Sally Clarkson has touched me and changed my and my family's life. They are wonderful! My Farmer and I are hopefully going to get a chance to go to their conference next weekend in Atlanta.
free·dom Pronunciation: 'frE-d&m Function: noun 1: the quality or state of being free: as a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : INDEPENDENCEc: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous <freedom from care> d: EASE, FACILITYfreedom> e: the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken freedom> f: improper familiarity g: boldness of conception or execution h: unrestricted use freedom of their home> 2 a: a political right b: FRANCHISE, PRIVILEGE
For me homeschooling = freedom, which is something that I cherish. I love that we as a family are liberated from the power of another (namely, the govenrment schools). We are independent and that allows us to make changes and choices which are best for us. That being said, we've made some changes already for the coming year ...
we dropped Prima Latina until next year ... it's really just a tad too difficult for 1st grade if I want my oldest Farmgirl to really comprehend it. We'll pursue this next year becasue we both like it.
we dropped Recorder for the Young Beginner until next year (maybe later this year) also. Mainly because by the time we get to that everyday the baby is asleep and I don't want to wake her. If I say we'll do it later in the day we won't, so we'll put that off until next year also, or until later this year when I feel like I have more of a handle on the schedule + the baby :-)
we added a Bible notebook today. Everyday Farmgirl1 gets a sheet that is divided into 4 sections and each section is labelled: Praise, Repent, Thanks, Ask ... She takes the sheet and while alone with the Lord writes or draws something for each section for which she wants/needs to praise Him, thanks Him, repent and ask Him (this morning she had nothing for repent ... go figure!!). I have noticed that I really need to work with her on prayer and talking with the Lord, so this is a step in that direction.
Okay ... those are the changes for now! I know that you can rest tonight after reading about these changes ...... go and sleep in peace!
1) ONE HOMESCHOOLING BOOK YOU HAVE ENJOYED Hmmm ... that's hard. As for good books ... when I was first looking into homeschooling one of the best books I read was Onto the Yellow Schoolbus and Through the Gates of Hell by Mary Hood. But as for one I have enjoyed ... Pocketful of Pinecones by Karen Andreola handsdown.
2) ONE RESOURCE YOU WOULDN'T BE WITHOUT My local library ... we have a great library system!
3) ONE RESOURCE YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER BOUGHT Just one??? LOL! I am a junkie and have bought much I haven't used or liked. Hmmmmm ... think think think ... BJU K4 curriculum :P
10) TAG FIVE OTHER HOMESCHOOLERS 1. Angela (she's my sis-in-law and just beginning her HSing journey) 2. Elysa (she just started blogging ... let's give her something to do!) 3. Nikki (she's my very sweet online friend that I want to meet IRL ... big hugs to you!!!!!) 4. Marsha (she's just cool and she makes me laugh!) 5. Beth (she's had a lot going on in her life and I just want to give her something mindless to do ... (((HUGS))) to you!!) 6. Louise (online-turned-IRL-friend that hasn't posted in a while ... blame it on the baby!!)
I have found it to be quite interesting to check my site meter about once a week to see where people are visiting from. It's sometimes fascinating to read where people actually live and how they came across this blog from Google searches and other places. So I thought I might post a few referrals that were especially intriguing ...
I have gotten many visit from this post on the FIAR boards re: nature journaling ...hi friends!!
For some reason I have a number of hits from Google image searches for peas ... perhaps because I posted about our garden a few times?
Google searches for "childbirth scriptures" ... when I was preparing to deliver Farmgirl 2 back in December I posted about some wonderful Scripture I had found ... I hope it was helpful to whomever found them here!
Okay ... this one's funny - a Yahoo! search for "david bowie ch ..ch ...changes" ... I do like the song, but I was only referencing it in regards to changes I was making for school ... sorry for the disappointment!!
Funny ... someone was probably rather disappointed when searching Google for "the parable of the lily lesson plans" because somehow they got my site?? I talked about this excellent book once and it got tied to another post about lesson plans ...
Today was our first "exploration day" with My Father's World 1st grade. Ladybug loved it immensely. First we read three more books from the library that we checked out about things that live in the ground and things in the soil. We've been reading many books this week about moles and ants and worms. Our favorite so far has been Are You a Snail? I *love* how it's written and there are others in the series - Backyard Books.
Then Ladybug drew a worm in her science notebook and titled it "Close to the Ground". She just couldn't wait for the culmination of our exploration day with the worms! We made a worm jar in which we layered sand and soil and then placed about 6 or so worms. We covered it with a towel to keep it dark and in a few days we should be able to see the tunnels they make.
Okay, so I titled this blog entry "Nature Journaling" ... let's talk about that ...
The last thing we did was choose something that we could bring in from the outside (it was a damp morning) to draw in our nature journals. We both chose flowers from Ladybug's garden. I chose a sunflower and Ladybug chose a zinnia. Below are the pictures of our first entries ...
This is Ladybug's drawing of her zinnia. This is what she saw and she tried to write the name of the flower at the top ("zenyu"). I had her write the date and then copy some info from a flower book that I have. I think she did pretty good for her first time!
This is mine ... I chose one of her sunflowers. I truly enjoyed this as I *love*love*love* to draw! It's been a while, however, and I enjoyed getting out my art supplies (I have a *nice* set of Prismacolor Premier colored pencils and drawing pencils) and using them again.
If you don't do nature journaling, I think you should give it a try. If you're not sure how to do it, you can read Keeping a Nature Journal for information and inspiration. Also below are some links to learn a bit more online:
This is such a great way to get children involved with God's creation ... studying it, loving it, understanding it ...
By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. (Romans 1:20 The Message)
Can I be honest, open and totally transparent today? This is a long post, so please bear with me ..........
We started school today ... back to old habits that die hard ... for both of us.
My daughter has such a hard time listening and paying attention ... when we have school or devotional time as a family. Why is that? She can pay perfect attention to a movie or to her Breyer Horse catalog or a computer game or anything that she is interested in. But school time? Suddenly she has attention deficit disorder!
Honestly ... it makes me quite angry and I find myself becoming downright mean when she gets this way. It is so frustrating and I become impatient and irritable ... and then I say things that I don't mean or I say things in a way that I don't mean. And I see her little face turn down toward the ground and her little eyes well up with tears. I know that I am discouraging her, that I am exasperating her. And yet it seems that I cannot stop. Old habits die hard, or so they say ...
Doorposts has a little booklet entitled A Checklist for Parents that I really like. It's very helpful for me have things spelled out and this little 10 page book spells things out for me:
These are just some of the questions under the 1st section - Love -
Have I spoken words of love and blessing to my child?
Did I show love with my actions?
Did I treat my child the way I would want to be treated?
Did I show loving compassion, comfort and support, remembering my child's young and foolish heart, or did I unduly correct her and expect more of her than she could perform?
Um .... the answers would be no. There are more questions related to love, prayer, instruction, protection and provision, but I only wanted to use a few examples.
Anyway, this morning when I sent her to her room to adjust her attitude I began to cry. I knew that I had messed up ... again. "I can't do this!!" I cried out to the Lord. He very sweetly said, "Yes, you can. You need to relax. You need to ease up on her. Your expectations are too high." And then I felt His presence so near that it felt as if someone lovingly wrapped their arms around me and gave me a huge hug.
Okay ... I can do this ... The Lord knows me and He tells me that I can do all things through Christ Who strenghtens me (Philippians 4:13).
Why do I tell her all the time that I don't expect perfection, and yet I demand it of her anyway? Why are my expectations so high? Why am I so hard on her? I don't really know, to be honest, I just know that I want to change and change for good, never to return to this place of ugliness.
So ... I'm breaking out For Instruction in Righteousness for myself. The following is me writing as I am reading about being impatient & irritable and what the Lord has to speak to me about myself ....
Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19);
for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. (James 1:20) ... I "bolded" this one because the Lord reminded me as I read this verse that my reactions like this to my daughter do not bring about the righteousness of God, which I desire for her in her life!
A fool's anger is known at once (Proverbs 12:16); add that to -
A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. (Proverbs 29:11);
Okay, Okay ... I'm getting the picture now. It always helps when I sit down and pull out the Word and begin to apply it. Wait! That reminds me .......
....... of our Bible lesson this morning! We talked about the fruit of the Spirit and character traits (good and bad). We talked about letting our lights shine before men so that they will see our good deeds and praise our Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16). And we talked about James 1:22 - But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. We talked about how, just like the Israelites had to apply the blood to their doorposts, so we have to apply God's Word to our lives. Knowing what it says is not enough.
...
Father God, what a good God you are! You are so gentle and kind and You speak words of truth to my heart. Thank you so much for loving me and guiding me and keeping me!
Please help me to hear Your word and to apply it. I'm afraid that more often than not I delude myself ... I have much knoweldge, but I am not applying it! Through the power of Your Holy Spirit, Lord help me apply your truth to my heart and my life. Father, help me to let my light shine before men, especially my children. I want them to see Jesus in me and to praise You.
Please help me to be who you have called me to be! I need your power and I need your grace to make it today.
I hate love it when the Lord hits me over the head with a 2x4 speaks to me like He did yesterday. We were in the middle of disciplining our daughter and He so gently spoke to me about my own sin in this area ...
My daughter has had a real problem lately with being argumentative. I don't know if it's the female in her or the me in her (I'm pretty argumentative myself!!), but it has really begun to get on my last nerve!
My husband and I are trying to cultivate her heart into good soil, so we feel it's important to pray about how to handle each and every situation. In my humble opinion parenting cannot be effectively done with a formula, and surely it cannot be effectively done in the flesh ... it must be done by faith. So after praying about it, yesterday my husband and I decided it was time to sit down and have a serious talk about arguing and the consequences of that behavior.
I pulled out the trusty "For Instruction in Righteousness" (I love this resource ... it makes my job a little bit easier). I began to pore over the section on arguing/contention. I prayed and asked the Lord what I should hit on. He gave me some very interesting Scriptures, to say the least.
We called our daughter in to sit down and tell her that we needed to talk to her about the arguing. We then proceeded to talk about the following:
What is the definition of argue? (just a little background on the word here ... I didn't get into the etymology of the word with her!) ...
Main Entry: ar·gue Pronunciation: 'δr-(")gyό Function: verb Inflected Form(s): ar·gued; ar·gu·ing Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French arguer to reprove, argue & Latin arguere to demonstrate, prove; Anglo-French arguer, from Latin argutare to prate, frequentative of arguere; akin to Hittite arkuwai- to plead, respond
intransitive verb 1 : to give reasons for or against something 2 : to contend or disagree in words
transitive verb 1 : to give evidence of 2 : to consider the pros and cons of 3 : to prove or try to prove by giving reasons 4 : to persuade by giving reasons
So then, in terms that she could understand (and for the purposes of our discussion) we told her that arguing is saying "I'm right and you're wrong and this is why". Okay, so she got that :) ... moving on ...
We proceeded to talk about some key verses that the Lord led us to hit on with her:
We talked about strife ... it's a conflict, a struggle, a fight.
Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression. NASB
Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute. NASB
Proverbs 3:30 Do not contend with a man without cause, If he has done you no harm. NASB
With that last verse we talked about how she needs to think, "Is this worth arguing/fighting over?".
The next verse she did not like to her because she really does not want to be a fool:
Proverbs 20:3 Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, But any fool will quarrel. NASB
Okay, so ... how did the Lord speak to me? Well ... moving on ...
We then talked about
Proverbs 21:19 Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman. NKJV
and
Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. NASB
oooooooooooooooooooo .... ouch! I see myself in these verses ... contentious, argumentative, even angry sometimes ... not in a way that the world would consider (I do appear to be rather submissive), but I know I am contentious in the way that God considers.
It was hard to talk about these verse with my daughter and my husband present. He never said anything, but I wondered what he thought as I talked. I thought, "I need to heed this myself! I don't want to be a wife that my husband doesn't want to be around ... that he would rather be outside on a corner ofthe roof than inside with me!"
Father God, help me to be kind and gentle, help me to be the wife you would have me to be!
But the seed on good soil stands for those with an honest and good heart. They hear the message. They keep it in their hearts. They remain faithful and produce a good crop.
The Dirt On Me
I am a husband loving, child adoring, homeschooling, grace-based parenting, nature loving, organic gardening, flip flop wearing, wheat grinding, bread baking, art enjoying, music loving, free thinking, God worshipping, prayer believing, status quo challenging, whole-food eating, home loving, always questioning, truth seeking, Jesus loving, blessing claiming, over analyzing, continually growing, Scripture studying, overcoming, ever wondering Daughter of the King, wife to one wonderful & wacky husband, and mommy to 2 lovely & lively princesses (and a crazy beagle too!)
Little Buttercup = Our oldest Daughter (6 Years old)
Baby Buttercup = Our youngest daughter (10 Months old)
Buttercup = ME
Farm Boy = My Dear Husband
If you don't understand the names "Buttercup" and "Farm Boy" then you simply MUST see The Princess Bride ... our favorite movie!
... she didn't flinch. The funny thing is that she can be such a girly girl and she is quite the drama queen. She is multifaceted and I love that about her (it's one of the ways that she is like her mama!)
!!! I thought about this devotional when Little Buttercup began complaining about school. I told her that she may not complain with her mouth and that if she felt the need to complain, she must write it down using at least 29 words. You know what she did? She wrote "poowee" 20 times 
... it just made me laugh ... 
hi friends!!
and I find myself becoming downright mean when she gets this way. It is so frustrating and I become impatient and irritable ... and then I say things that I don't mean or I say things in a way that I don't mean. And I see her little face turn down toward the ground and her little eyes well up with tears. I know that I am discouraging her, that I am exasperating her. And yet it seems that I cannot stop. Old habits die hard, or so they say ...
