I am sad ... upset with myself.  I have let my heart become a wasteland of pride and arrogance and irritation and disdain.

This morning as I went for my daily walk I didn't wake up my daughter to go with me ... I let her sleep.  I needed some time alone with the Lord ... 

.....Oh Father God, I need heart surgery!  Please fill me with your Spirit, Lord ... fill me with love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and gentleness and self-control!  I need You, Lord ... I need you to create a clean heart within me, change my heart, O God, renew a willing & steadfast spirit within me!  I'm desperate, Lord, for your mercy and your grace.  Help me Lord, it's only You that has the power to change my heart and make all things new.....

This morning I found Elisabeth Elliot's daily devotional (which I promptly signed up to receive by email BTW) and this is what it said (I love the title):

Title: First Be Quiet

Author: Elisabeth Elliot

Our hectic lives involve many changes, and changes require decisions, and decisions must often be made in the midst of a multitude of confusions. We run here and there asking advice. Often we make decisions without sufficient deliberation because we simply haven't time--or so we tell ourselves.

There is a marvelously helpful practice that we usually overlook. It is quietness. Notice how often in the gospels we find Jesus going away alone, even when people needed Him. He deliberately chose solitude. The more hectic our lives become, the more necessary is this quietness. When it is impossible to break away physically to a place of solitude for a day or so in order to think and pray over a hard decision, there is one thing which I think helps--do not speak about the decision to anyone but God for forty-eight hours at least. Just hold it before Him alone. Keep your mouth shut for two days. Pray. Listen. Seek his counsel.

Try this, too--sit before Him for fifteen consecutive minutes in silence, focusing your mind on the words of Psalm 86:11 (NEB), "Guide me, O Lord, that I may be true to thee and follow thy path."

Receive Elisabeth Elliot as a daily devotional email.

Daily devotions courtesy of Devotions.org, a ministry of Back to the Bible.

That's it ... I needed to read this today.  I need to keep my mouth shut and go before the Lord with some things that I am struggling with right now, praying, listening, seeking the Lord's counsel.  And I need to sit before Him and meditate on Psalm 86:11. 

I like to look at multiple translations of certain verses at times like this ...

¹¹ Teach me your way, O LORD,
       and I will walk in your truth;
       give me an undivided heart,
       that I may fear your name.
NIV

¹¹Teach me Your way, O LORD;
         I will walk in Your truth;
         Unite my heart to fear Your name.

NASB

Train me, God, to walk straight;
      then I'll follow your true path.
   Put me together, one heart and mind;
      then, undivided, I'll worship in joyful fear.

MESSAGE

¹¹Teach me Your way, O Lord, that I may walk and live in Your truth; direct and unite my heart [solely, reverently] to fear and honor Your name.

AMPLIFIED BIBLE

¹¹
    Teach me your ways, O LORD,
       that I may live according to your truth!
    Grant me purity of heart,
       that I may honor you.

NLT

Father God ... Make me more like You!