My precious Grace was born!
A couple of weeks ago during our Tuesday night prayer meeting at church we had a small group there and we took communion, but before that we had to talk about something that was a trial in the past year that we are thankful for (Pastor said 1 year, but I would have to make it 2). I wasn't actually in there -- DH told me about it -- I was taking care of the kids. I thought about what I would have said had I been in there and this is what I would have said:
Almost 2 years ago we became pregnant and were so thrilled after many months of trying to conceive and praying and disappointment. But then we lost the baby. It was very hard for me, obviously. The strangest things would trigger my emotions. A very dear friend lost her baby about 2 weeks before we did and so we were able to go through that together and that was a blessing. But still, it was very difficult, to say the least.
During that time we were in transition between a church that we had been in and the church that we were led to start a few months later, so we were visiting Free Chapel. I have to say that at a time like that it was nice, for me personally, to be "anonymous" and able to grieve and worship among many people whom I didn't know and who didn't know me. One Sunday we sang:
Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name
That was a big day for me ... I cried and cried all during that song. And I wanted to sing it over and over. It was the first time I was able to truly say to the Lord "Blessed be Your name regardless of what I am going through ... regardless of the fact that I just lost a precious gift of life..." Since then I have truly been able to sing these words and mean them with all my heart.
At that same time that we lost the baby the Lord was teaching me a lot about worship and about His love for me. And I came across this poem:
HEAVEN'S NURSERY
In Heaven there must surely be
A special place, a nursery
Where 'little spirits' not fully grown
Go to live in their Heavenly home.
The angels must attend with love
Tiny spirits on wings of doves,
The choir of angels must sing lullabies
Maybe quieten their tiny cries.
The Father must come by each day
To cuddle and play in a special way
These tiny spirits left earth too soon
Little ones called Home from the womb.
These sparks of life did not perish
But came to the Father's love to cherish,
To grow and be taught in His own arms
Safely away from all earthly harm.
The comforter was sent to earth at once
To the parents who lost their little one
Their hearts so ache, their arms feel empty
The question 'why' seems so tempting.
Then all at once in the midst of tears
There comes a peace that stills the fears
The parents share the Father's own need
To hold their tiny spirit being.
They relinquish their own desperate hold
And release their baby to the Father's fold,
Then comes an angel to whisper the truth
Of a nursery in Heaven bearing rich fruit
Of tiny spirits chosen to worship the Father
A place that couldn't be filled by another,
Called to be spared from the struggles of earth,
Chosen to be one of Heaven's births.
So Father, whisper words of love from me
To our unborn 'life' in your nursery.
The Lord blessed me that day when I read that ... how that tiny life's soul is now in heaven with Him worshiping the Father, spared from this earth's struggles and life.
Then ... I got pregnant in March (we lost the baby at the and of January). But that month I had "given up". I was tired of thinking about getting pregnant. I was tired of not being content with the blessing of my daughter, little Buttercup, that I already had. And guess what? The Lord blessed me greatly that month by beginning a new life within (both spiritually and physically) and 9 months later our precious Grace was born. You can read her birth story below!
| 
Posted by 
Posted by Anonymous 
12.15.2006 - Angela Here!!
Tell Grace "Happy Birthday from her Aunt Angela!!" I still can't believe it has been a year already!