Last week was a trying week for me!  There are times when, as parents, we should allow our children freedom to move and grow and make there own (good) decisions, and then there are times when, they are not making good decisions.  During those times we have to pull back the reins and put on our mean-mommy faces until everyone on the ship shapes up.  Fortunately, I have pretty great kids and it only takes a few days to get them back on the straight and narrow.

Very often I have to remind my children that I expect them to do what they are asked the FIRST time that I ask...not the seventh time!  Last week, it seemed that my kids would only obey after they had been asked several times and then, only after I was yelling would they take me seriously.  So, it is time to buckle down on them, but most importantly, myself!  

Some time ago, I read about "First Response Obedience".  It works wonderfully when you do it correct and consistently.  Here it is...

• You politely request that your child do something. "Can you take your dirty clothes to the laundry room, please?"
• You STOP and wait for an answer (this is the key point).  If you don't get an answer you ask the same question again. "Summer, can you take your dirty clothes to the laundry room, please?"
• You STOP and wait for an answer (whatever it may be, try to accept the answer as long as it is compliance). "Yep, as soon as I finish coloring this page." 
• If the tasks get done and in a reasonable time, then you point out how you appreciate them doing what they said they would do. "Hey kiddo, thanks for taking your laundry to the washer without me having to remind you.  I really appreciate how much you help out.  Your awesome!  I am so lucky to have a daughter like you."  (Or something similar..whatever works for your family.  Just make sure to show your gratitude.)
• If the task does not get done, or is not done within a reasonable time frame then you react...remember no second chances, they heard you the first time because they responded!  "Summer, I asked you earlier to take your clothes to the laundry room and you said that you would.  You have not done what I asked you to do and I take that as intential disobedience.  Take your clothes to the laundry room right now.   The TV is off for the rest of the evening.  Do not discuss, debate, or compromise!  End of discussion.

I'm tellin' ya, this works if you are consistent.  Do this everyday for a couple of weeks and you will see your kids obeying QUICKLY.   You are empowering them as well.  They start to learn that their help is needed,  when they don't do what needs to be done and what they SAID they would do, there are consequences.  They can choose to follow through with their word and make things run smoothly, or backout on what they said they would do and suffer the consequences?   

After my refresher course I started applying this yesterday.  Immediate results!  Now like I said, for the most part, I have agreeable kids.  Your results may not be immediate, but keep at it.  Good Luck, and keep praying!  

• Post A Comment! • Send to a Friend!