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Nov. 12, 2009
Arrows are meant to FLY out of our quivers!
"We don't aim to hold on to our arrows all the way to the target. They're not push-pins, they're meant to fly. Our job is to shape and prepare the arrows so when they are released, they fly straight and true on their own. The time is coming when they will leave our quiver and depart on their life's mission, as we have to prepare then - and ourselves - for that launch."
~ Raising Real Men.......Surviving, Teaching, and Appreciating Boys Written by Hal and Melanie Young
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Jul. 9, 2009
If you've been wondering whether church youth groups are really effective....
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If you've been wondering whether church youth groups are really effective, you won't want to miss the results of a recent study reported in the Christian Education Journal*
We've covered several stories in this newsletter about the shocking number of young people who were active in their youth groups but still dropped out of church in their twenties.
A recent issue of the Christian Education Journal contributes to the discussion by reporting a strong link between a college student's current spiritual state and the quality of key relationships during the high school years.
The authors seems to conclude that college-bound students are not as spiritually strong as they could be because (1) they aren't being spiritually fed as much as they would like in their youth groups, and (2) other adults besides the youth pastor are not investing in their lives.
Youth pastors who are aching to add depth to their program will find the results encouraging. For the church as a whole, though, this is a wake up call: the youth pastor can't do it alone. Every adult in the church must step up to reverse the mass exodus of young people from church.
Here are two particularly compelling results:
- The top five changes youth desire for their youth group were: time for deep conversation, missions trips, service projects, accountability and one-on-one time with leaders.
- Takeaway: young people want more depth. They want a program that takes God seriously and prepares them to be servant leaders.
- On a list of 22 reasons why they attend youth group, students list "safe to talk to adults about doubts and questions" 16th and "Adults take time to really listen" 18th.
- Takeaway: the very things they want--more depth and one-on-one time with leaders--are very low on the list what they actually receive.
Intriguingly, the authors conclude: "There was some evidence of a relationship between two variables anecdotally related to support from other adults (involvement in overall church life and church worship during high school) and greater spirituality/religiosity during college."
Bottom line: what youth really need to remain spiritually strong--and what they really desire--is significant relationships with lots of adults in the church, not just with the youth pastor. Ironically, this is what they are unlikely to actually receive.
If we want to win the hearts of the next generation we must equip the entire church community to invest in them life-on-life.
This is why we developed the Passing the Baton Training Course. It's been proven to mobilize adults to get excited about personally mentoring, coaching and discipling students to be culture-shaping leaders.
If you haven't yet seriously examined this course, I invite you to do so here.
*Source: Kara Powell, Cheryl A. Craford, Cameron Lee, "High School Youth Group Seniors Transitioning to College: Risk Behavior, Social Support, Religiosity, and Attitude Toward Youth Group," Christian Education Journal, Series 3, Vol. 5, No. 1, pp. 47-59.
Editor's note: The researchers, who represent the Center for Youth and Family Ministry at Fuller Theological Seminary, studied 222 high school seniors from different regions of the US. The median youth group size was quite large, 51-100 members, and the vast majority of the students matched the profile of those likely to emerge as leaders (high GPA, stable home lives, and well-educated parents).
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Jul. 6, 2009
How Much Housework Should Be Required Per Child?
Balance is key when deciding how many chores for each child. You can't work them excessively, but on the other hand you can't abandon it all and mark it up as "letting kids be kids" either. The Bible says that LEADERS and SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE will work hard. Lamentations 3:27 says, "It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young." So, the best time to teach children how to work hard is when they're young! Adam Clarke's Commentary notes this on that Lamentations 3:27: "Early habits, when good, are invaluable. Early discipline is equally so. He who has not got under wholesome restraint in youth will never make a useful man, a good man, nor a happy man."
We believe that children these days who do not have household responsibilities and/or do not know just how THEY contribute to the affairs of the family, lack a much-needed understanding of why work is important. To know that what you do is NEEDED in order for a household to run more smoothly builds a godly and healthy self-confidence that will last for some time to come. It is not sinful to expect your children to work hard within the home. It builds character and confidence if the parent expresses to their children how their contributions relate to the big picture. Our children like to know that the tasks they're mastering now will be used almost daily when they reach adulthood. It's like making a check list of needed items (in this case, life-skills) and being able to confidently check them off one-by-one. What a sense of accomplishment!!
Using the below Scriptures when teaching children about chores and hard work will mold their spirits now and train them for their futures! This is why we believe that children should regularly contribute to household maintenance.
*Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed. Proverbs 12:24
*He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment. Proverbs 12:11
*All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. Proverbs 14:23
*Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:22-24
Here is how we do chores with our 8 children, soon-to-be-9 children!
Mark & Lisa Metzger
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Jun. 16, 2009
The Dangers of Being Too Much OF the World
"It is not the ship in the water but the water in the ship that sinks it. So it is not the Christian in the world but the world in the Christian that constitutes the danger. Anything that dims my vision of Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me, and I must, as a Christian, turn away from it."
J. Wilbur Chapman
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Jun. 4, 2009
My Kids are Bored - How to Rid Your Home of Boredom!
Q. How can I keep my children from becoming bored? I'd like ideas, other than TV, for entertainment.
A. If the word "bored" is ever uttered by someone in your home, assign a chore or job! TV should never be allowed when a child complains of being bored. There's so much to do in life. To complain and receive a reward (like TV) is rewarding sin. We remain convinced that if everyone who complained of boredom either lived in the 19th century or visited a 3rd world country today that they would see how easy we all have it in America, and they would never complain again. In fact, it would inspire them to work harder! Every American household has enough activities, chores and tasks to entertain a host of children and teens!
Our oldest, Annalise, came from a very poor region in Kazakhstan, where she had no indoor plumbing, no utensils, and a lack of food. She appreciates everything that she has been given since she was adopted at 10 years old! Our other children are consistently exposed to what other children experience in Communist cultures (lack of freedoms that we enjoy) and how the children in third-world countries lack basic necessities. We have both shared our mission experiences to China and Haiti with them. This opens their eyes, and causes them to be less-selfish. When they focus their eyes on other people's needs, they have less time and reason to focus on their own complaints. They have compassion for those children, and thus appreciate all that they have in life! Our children LOVE to play outside (all ages) and create things with sticks, bricks, rocks, etc. They also use creativity indoors. Creativity will eventually come to a child when boredom is permitted!
FYI....Vision Forum has great "toys" to spark God-given natural creativity. My boys enjoy the All-American Boy's Adventure catalog.....The time has come to rebuild a culture of courageous boyhood. The All-American Boy’s Adventure Catalog is one step on that journey. Within this section of our site, you will find inspirational gifts and concepts to build the character of a boy. Every toy, tool, and book has been carefully selected to fit the overall concept designed to inspire and motivate boys to dream big dreams for the glory of God.
And my girls enjoy the Beautiful Girlhood Collection ...The Beautiful Girlhood Collection aspires, by the grace of God, to encourage the rebuilding of a culture of virtuous womanhood. In a world that frowns on femininity, that minimizes motherhood, and that belittles the beauty of being a true woman of God, we dare to believe that the biblical vision for girlhood is a glorious vision. It is, in fact — a beautiful vision. It is a vision for purity and contentment, for faith and fortitude, for enthusiasm and industry, for heritage and home, and for joy and friendship. It is a vision so bright and so wonderful that it must be boldly proclaimed. We are here to proclaim it.
Lisa Metzger
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Jun. 1, 2009
Start Before Birth
Judges 13:8, 12, "Then Manoah entreated the LORD, and said..."teach us what we shall do unto the child that shall be born... How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?"."
This prayer is from the story of Samson, when the angel came to Manoah and his wife to tell them that they would have a son. Manoah's wife was infertile and unable to conceive so this was a great miracle. God also told them that this son was to be
dedicated to God as a Nazarite from his birth and that he would rise up to deliver their people from the Philistines who had subdued them for the last forty years.
There are three things I notice about Manoah's prayer:
- He entreated the Lord.
This was not a formal prayer but an imploring, a beseeching and a desperate plea to know what to do. How we need God's wisdom and anointing as we parent our children. Cry out to God for your children, dear mother. He will hear your cry. When you ask for wisdom, He will give it to you. (James 1:5)
- He prayed for the child before he was born.
Don't wait until your child is born to start praying. Start praying for your child as soon as you conceive. Bathe your unborn child in prayer. Lay your hands upon your womb and pray over him/her. Read the Scriptures to your unborn child. Seek God for the destiny of this child. This will help you in the naming of your child, too.
You don't even have to wait until you conceive to get a vision for children and to pray for your future children. God gave Abraham a vision for children when there was no earthly hope of him having children. God told him to look at the stars in the heavens and try to count them. "So shall your seed be," God told him. And Abraham believed God's inconceivable promise and it was counted to him for righteousness. (Geneses15:3-5)
God gave Jacob a vision for children when he was a young unmarried man. He didn't have a girlfriend at that time and wasn't even thinking about marriage. God said to him, "Thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed." (Genesis 28:13-14)
- He sought guidance for the order of his life.
The margin of the King James Bible and all other translations write the question in verse 12 as, "What will be the boy's rule of life, and his work?" The word rule or order as in the King James Bible is the Hebrew word, mishpat, which is usually translated justice. Justice means the use of authority to uphold what is right. It relates to all functions of government.
Justice is a very important part of parenting. As parents, we must seek to know and understand justice. We must have a true knowledge of what is right and wrong in the eyes of the Lord so we can train our children to know justice. We must execute justice in the training of our children or they will not know the true knowledge of God.
God's favor was upon Abraham because ordered his household in the ways of justice. God said, "Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do... For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment." (Genesis 18:17-19) Because justice is a primary attribute of God, it is important to him. It is important in the raising of our families.
NANCY CAMPBELL
PRAYER:
"Oh God, please teach me how to train my children in your ways. Help me to teach them justice. Help me to raise children who are not "wishy-washy" but strong in their convictions. Amen."
AFFIRMATION:
I am seeking to understand justice so I can execute it rightly.
Many women like to save these devotions. They print them out and keep them in a folder to read over and over again. Some print them out and pin them on the fridge with a magnet to read through the week. If you are printing this devotion and need it to be smaller, highlight and change to a smaller font.
If you know others who would be blessed by these devotions, you are welcome to forward them or let them know they can subscribe by sending a blank email to subscribers-on@aboverubies.org
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May. 22, 2009
Julia Claire Asks Jesus Into Her Heart! Precious video protraying the child-like faith needed for salvation in Jesus!
This is a precious video of Julia (3 1/2) telling Amma & Poppy (Lisa's parents) of how she asked Jesus into her heart and how she "gets to go to Jesus' house" now! This really shows a true picture of a child-like faith. Salvation is simple enough for even a young child to understand!
~ Mark and Lisa
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Apr. 3, 2009
God Ordained Independence for our Children - Without Battling for Control
Q. In today's society, how can parents safely begin to give our children the God-driven independence in a safe way while still setting expected rules/guidelines for behavior within our own homes? How do we set the expectations and get results without a constant battle for control of their lives?
A. We have 18 years, on average, with each child before we send them out on their own. Each child must know that autonomy is expected when they reach adulthood and that we, as parents, are training them for that day when they embark on their own! This will, first of all, give them a vision for why you are requiring them to do certain things. You are training them to be adults! They are only under your tutelage for a short period of time, and they must dedicate themselves to learning what they need to know from you and God before they are able to leave the protected nest.
One of the ways that we begin to teach our children to embrace their calling for God on their lives, as young men and women, is to teach those God-given role requirements in steps. We believe that our children should work from home well before they are ready to leave home. We raise our sons and daughters to learn and master their God-given responsibilities now, as toddlers/children/teens/young adults. We want them to be knowledgeable and to embrace their roles, given to them as men or women. There are countless life experiences to be learned within our homes and with our family. They can learn all that they need to learn from us, while living under our roofs!
Boys should be taught to work hard and enjoy it. We give our boys manly tasks, such as assisting in building projects, raking leaves, mowing lawns, and hauling out the trash. They learn the skills from Daddy (and some from Mommy, on occasion) and they feel respected for being given the huge responsibilities that we require of them. The book by the Maxwell's, "Preparing Sons to Provide for a Single-Income Family" is a wonderful guide on how to develop the strengths in your sons TODAY that they will use in the future! They suggest that we start with our sons as toddlers to instill the value of work within our sons! It's a WONDERFUL book!
We have our daughters learn to cook, clean, watch children, teach homeschooling, garden, iron, do laundry, etc., etc., etc. and we start with them as soon as they learn to walk. They actually enjoy their work and do it cheerfully BECAUSE they have grown up knowing that if they don't they will have a consequence! On the rare occasion that they do not do it as required, they receive the consequences that were laid out well before any chore was even given to them to complete. And that goes for the boys, as well.
All of this can be done, but it does require that the children know the guidelines and know that we will follow through with the consequences if they do not follow through with all three characteristics of obedience. They are to do WHAT they’re told, WHEN they’re told and WITH the right attitude. If they fail to do one of these three things, then they are disobeying and a negative consequence will result. After all, isn't that what will happen when they are adults? Actions have consequences and the earlier they learn that, the better it is for them (and us)! The key is that we have commitment to follow God's Word in raising children (no matter what the world tells you), having consequences for sin, and following through with discipline (consistency).
It is also vitally important that you teach them what God has to say about EVERYTHING. Teach them the WHY’s behind the WHAT’s! In teaching them about Jesus and the Bible as in Deuteronomy 6:6-8 (when we sit down, stand up, etc.) we will see our children grow up to be godly men and women! Their hearts *can* be transformed! God didn't give us an impossible task, just one that needs constant attention in order to complete well!
Look closely at this "famous" Bible verse on training children! Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." The word "train" is directly translated as "narrow" or "discipline" or "initiate." We are to narrow that path they are on by constantly correcting them, disciplining them or initiating them. It's a hard job, but we will reap wonderful results if we keep them on God's path when they are young enough to be molded by God, through us. The below commentaries put it beautifully when commenting on that verse!
A great duty enjoined, particularly to those that are the parents and instructors of children, in order to the *propagating of wisdom,* that it may not die with them: Train up children in that age of vanity, to *keep them from the sins* and snares of it, in that learning age, to *prepare* them for what they are designed for. Catechise them; initiate them; keep them under discipline. Train them as soldiers, who are taught to handle their arms, keep rank, and observe the word of command. Train them up, not in the way they would go (the bias of their corrupt hearts would draw them aside), but in the way they should go, the way in which, if you love them, you would have them go. Train up a child according as he is capable (as some take it), with a gentle hand, as nurses feed children, little and often, Deut 6:7. (Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible)
Show him the duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before him. Fix these on his mind by daily inculcation, till their impression is become indelible; then lead him to practice by slow and almost imperceptible degrees, till each indelible impression becomes a strongly radicated habit. Beg incessantly the blessing of God on all this teaching and discipline; and then you have obeyed the injunction of the wisest of men. Nor is there any likelihood that such impressions shall ever be effaced, or that such habits shall ever be destroyed. (Adam Clarke's Commentary)
First and foremost, our motivations in all walks of life should be GOD’s motivations. When we show them God’s point of view, we are fulfilling our parental roles as God ordained! When we teach them WHY we are teaching them the things we are and WHY we are discipling them the way that we are, we will also be developing within them a Christian worldview. That is very important if we want them to understand our motivations, and therefore reject rebellion.
Review:
- Share the vision and goal of autonomy to your children.
- Show them God’s design for men and women. Teach them to embrace, not reject, their roles!
- Be consistent (100% of the time) with following through with consequences for disobedience!
- Teach them the WHY’s behind the WHAT’s!
- Prepare to let them inch their way, day by day, into being who God designed them to be – men and women of God!
Hold onto your children’s hearts! Teach them God’s precepts and require obedience early on! Go forward with God, in your calling as parents!
Mark and Lisa Metzger
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