Vibrant Woman Writer - How to Win over Perfectionism

Dec. 8, 2005 - How to Win over Perfectionism

This from my daughter (20). She is attending Southeastern University and studying communications. She was chatting with my youngest (11) in Thailand who battles with discouragement almost daily when she misses the tiniest problem. I thought this might help some of you who also have children who are perfectionists.

Do they get it from their parents?? Perish the thought!

How to Win over Perfectionism

1. Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of trying to be perfect. When you make your own list of costs and benefits, you may find that the costs are too great. You may discover that problems with relationships, excessive workaholism.....and so on actually outweigh whatever advantages perfectionism holds for you

2. Increase your awareness of the self critical nature of your all-or-nothing thoughts, and how they extend to other people in your life. Learn to substitute more realistic, reasonable thoughts for your habitually critical ones. When you find yourself berating a less than perfect performance, whether your own or someone else's, force yourself to look at and acknowledge the good parts of that performance. Then ask yourself questions like these: is it really as bad as I feel it is? How do other people see it?

3. Be realistic about what you can do. By setting more realistic goals, you will gradually see that 'imperfect' results do not lead to punitive consequences you expect and fear....

4.Set strict time limits on each of your projects. When the time is up, move on and attend to another activity. This technique reduces procrastination tat typically results from perfectionism. Suppose you must find references for a term paper and also study for exams. Set time limits.....

5. Learn how to deal with criticism. Perfectionists often view criticism as a personal attack responding to it defensively. Consecrate on being more objective about the criticism and about yourself. IF someone criticizes you for making a mistake, acknowledge the mistake and assert your right to make mistakes

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Comments

Dec. 8, 2005 - Untitled Comment

hi! wow, THANK YOU for the curry recipe. I cannot cook, however, i will make my daughter Coie try this (she loves to cook). how fun!
love jen

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Dec. 12, 2005 - Hello and thanks...

I just ran across your blog this evening. You have some great posts. May you and your family be blessed! Blessings, Sharra

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Aug. 3, 2006 - Untitled Comment

these tips are really great!
a whole bunch of thanks!!

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